Okay...may makakapagsabi ba kung paano kami napunta sa posisyong ito?

 

Minjeong is spooning me at halos mabaliw na yung tyan ko.

 

Legit—nagugutom ako. And the butterflies aren't helping. Hindi ba ako neto ginising? Sa pagkakaalala ko, tinapon ko yung basura tapos diretso idlip na at si Minjeong na daw bahala sa mga kailangan pang ayusin. Teka, anong oras na ba?

 

3am nang silipin ko ito sa aking selpon. 

 

I heard my stomach growling again. Si Minjeong kaya kumain na? Ayoko naman siyang gisingin. Dahil nagugutom na ako, I went to reach for her hand, carefully picking it up to free myself from our position so I could get something to eat when she suddenly clasped our fingers together and held me more tighter than before. I heard her groan a bit in her sleep, that's when I tried to face to the side to have a quick glimpse of her when I felt her breathe into the crook of my neck from behind.

 

Great, paano na ako babangon nito?

 

Of all the nights we've spent sleeping next to each other, I must say, this one's the most intimate we've been. We've held hands in our sleep, faced each other in our sleep, embraced each other in our sleep an unnecessary amount of times before and have it all mean nothing. But weirdly, somehow, with the way she's spooning me right now, our fingers entwined, our legs intertwined, and her warm breath on my skin—I refuse to think there is nothing between us had I still been oblivious to her feelings.

 

Now that I think about it, Minjeong and I were never nothing. We've always been something and were too scared to acknowledge it.

 

That night, when Minjeong kissed me, I got excited thinking she'd finally acknowledge it because I was so ready to acknowledge it with her. That is, until she took it back. And so I slammed my bedroom door as hard as I can, but not because I was mad at her for wanting to forget.

 

Pero dahil sadyang kinilig lang ako.

 

And then the following days leading up to that, I lost my confidence around her again and decided to just busy myself away from her. Feel ko kasi, mahahalikan ko lang siya if we spend more than two seconds alone with each other. Eh ayoko nga. She kind of broke my pride when she took back the kiss. I'd do anything to make her want to kiss me again.

 

When I told Chaewon all about it, tinanong niya ako kung galit daw ba ako, nagtatampo, or what. Sabi ko hindi. Si Minjeong 'yun eh. And Minjeong, when it comes to these things, she's careless and naive.

 

Jimin-ah, Minjeong very careless and naive like her mother—let her realize things on her own, okay? Let her guide herself...don't pick up the pieces for her. That was the sermon Lolo Kim gave me when we first talked over the phone. We were having an honest conversation about Minjeong and the things he noticed about her. Sabi ko naman noon, hindi ko papabayaan apo niya, but he preferred that I let Minjeong be and figure things out by herself.

 

Siguro, kaya ko din ginustong iwasan si Minjeong ever since the kiss ay para makapag-isip siya ng maayos, giving her the time and space she needs to acknowledge her feelings, think about what went wrong that night, in the hopes that she would want to take it all back, make things right, and kiss me again. Feel ko naman may progress. I have been noticing her efforts lately, kahit minimal lang—she's trying and that's all that matters. I can just imagine those who would barely even try at all.

 

And I know she's not perfect, whatsoever, but no one really is when it comes to love or these sorts of things. Pati naman ako, I mess up.

 

Minjeong and I may seem like a mess right now pero okay lang. First time namin eh—first time naming dalawa mahulog. For the meantime, the way I see it, we're taking our time to figure out how to catch each other pa. At mahaba-haba pa naman ang panahon naming dalawa para saluhin ng paulit-ulit ang isa't isa.

 

Not wanting to think anymore deeply, naisipan kong magpaantok ulit. If eating meant getting off of Minjeong's embrace, parang ayoko nalang bumangon. Matulog nalang ako nang gutom. But as I was about to close my eyes, umilaw ang selpon ko. A new message from Chaewon tapos ngayon ko lang napansin ang isang kadamakmak na notifs mula sa kanila ni Ate Eunbi hours ago.

 

Oo nga, may iniwan akong mensahe about sa napili kong movie. I wonder how it went...napabuntong hininga ako nang maalala ang mga nilagay ko sa document na iyon. I wonder how Minjeong would have reacted had she been there. Had we been there. It would've been the perfect confession scene as if coming from a 2000s romcom movie. Hays...eto nanaman ako, si hopeless romantic stuck with a naive, nonchalant, and cute patootie that I'd helplessly and willingly choose over and over again.

 

Seven unread messages from Ate Eunbi. Mamaya ko nalang i-seen ang mga ito. Yung kay Chaewon nalang muna ang bubuksan ko. For sure may chika ito at ano pa ba ang pwedeng rason para mag message siya sa akin ng ganitong oras?

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Hoy beh nyari na sayo

 

Bestiebabes: GCING PLZ?! KANINA KA PA MIA

 

Okay, mukhang may problema ako kung paano ko siya rereplayan.

 

Me: Etp gsin na me

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Ha? Nu yan lasing ka ba?

 

I inhaled deeply, trying to send her another reply.

 

Me: Soryy, hawak nni mj isa kon kamay

 

Me: Sje is sleepng next ti me

 

Inabangan ko ang reply ni Chaewon...feel ko sasabihan nanaman akong bading.

 

Bestiebabes 😗: BADING KA BADING KAYO

 

Bestiebabes 😗: SANA DILI NALANG AQ NAGCHAT BWESIT ANG HAHAROT

 

Oh diba?

 

Me: ASJSJSHXHSHAHAJSJA

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Gege keyboard smash

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Ayosin mu nga bkla ka bitawan mo muna yan may chika aq

 

Napatingin ako sa magkahawak naming kamay ni Minjeong. Saka ko lang narealize that I'm doing the thumb thingy I always unconsciously do.

 

Bitawan ko ba?

 

Me: Ayaw

 

I made sure to type slowly nalang, my one hand desperate to not get any typos in.

 

Me: Ano ba yang chika mo?

 

Bestiebabes 😗: About sa seniors auction bukas huhu

 

Right, I totally forgot. It's this fundraising event that SMU does on the fifth day of foundation week wherein a selected number of seniors are invited to join and have people bid on them in exchange for a fun night out, or a date—basta yung mga seniors naman ang bahala, tapos yung kikitain ay mapupunta sa charity. If I'm not mistaken, we're raising funds to donate to Children's Cancer Association this year. So everything's for a good cause.

 

Usually, sa fifth day, ito rin ang tinatawag na network building ng SMU. Nagiinvite kasi ang Dean ng tatlong universities yearly para maki-collab at makisalamuha sa isa't isa. Last year, pumunta ang UP Baguio, mga taga-Ateneo, at ang Adamson. This time around, inaasahan ko lang naman na sana ma-invite ang mga taga-Kwangya at kukulitin ko talagang pumunta sila Ning at Aeri lalo na't hindi pa sila nakakapunta sa school namin.

 

Nireplayan ko na ulit si Chaewon.

 

Me: Ano meron?

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Hindi pa kasi final yung list ng seniors na napili huhu

 

Oh please, don't tell me isasali nila ako‐

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Balak nilang kunin si yunjin 😭😭😭

 

Ay‐ phew...

 

Me: And the crying emoji because? 🤨

 

Sa totoo lang, Chaewon is like Minjeong—both being too scared to acknowledge their feelings. Masyado silang slow. Yung three-month rule na pinaninindigan niya? Ayun, malapit nang matapos. Ewan ko nalang kung ano na ang plano niya.

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Pwede ikaw nalang?

 

Huh?

 

Me: Anong ako nalang?

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Sumali 👉🏻👈🏻

 

Jusko po.

 

Me: NO.

 

Kita kong nagtatype na siya agad.

 

Bestiebabes 😗: IHHHHHHH SALI KA NA 😩🙏🏻

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Siguradong 25k ang makukuha ng smu sayo

 

Parang ewan.

 

Me: Gaga ka prinesyuhan mo ba naman ako amp

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Hoy wag k nga duda pa rin akong aabot ng 25k ang funds grr bat kase tinaasan pa eh ang aasim ng mga nasa batch natin

 

Okay, natawa ako do'n, making Minjeong spur in bed behind me. Mas lalo niyang hinigpitan ang pagkayakap sa akin na mas nagpagising lalo sa diwa ko.

 

Pucha, paano na ako aantukin neto?

 

Going back, fifteen thousand pesos lang kasi ang estimated goal nung sa auction last year. Gawa ni Kuya Kai, umabot ng thirty thousand yung kinita ng auction dahil anak ata ng isang investor ng Ateneo ang tumaya sa kaniya—all that for a bowling date. And of course, si Kuya Kai na 'yon. Kaya siguro tinaasan ng SMU ang value this year ay baka inaasahang gano'n rin kalaki ang makukuha ngayon. 

 

Talk about the pressure...

 

Me: Yunjin's kinda sikat and attractive. Let her join na.

 

Bestiebabes 😗: 🙄🙄🙄

 

Bestiebabes 😗: IKAW NGA ANG SUMALI

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Lyk what if tumaya yon

 

And of course, she had to involve my roommate into this.

 

Bestiebabes 😗: SA TINGIN MO BA HAHAYAAN KANG MAPUNTA SA IBA NG MJ MO?

 

I took my time to reply.

 

Me: Crowds aren't for minjeong, chae. You really think she'll bid on me in front of everyone? And I won't take an opportunity that can let others have me kaya ayokong sumali. Would be nice if she did end up bidding on me tho haha but where tf will she get the money? 🙂

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Bayaaaaan dami ebas di mu nlang sinabe ayaw mong magpakuha sa iba

 

Hahahaha...true. I won't allow it.

 

Bestiebabes 😗: Ge na tulog na ako. Sleepwell sayo malala diyan BWAJSJAJA see you nalang mamaya mwamwa

 

Hay nako, I wonder what will happen later. One thing's for sure. I finally get to meet Lolo Kim.

 

-

 

"Si Wintot, mabantot, mabaho at panot!" Pangaasar ng mga batang lalaki sa nagiisa nilang kalarong babae.

 

Naawa naman ako na nasa gilid lang at kumakain ng pishbol. Biglang tumunog ang kampana ng simbahan.

 

6pm prayer, ang Angelus. Napa-sign of the Cross ako at napailing sa pagaasar nila doon sa batang babaeng nangangalang Wintot.

 

"Hey, ano ba kayo?" I pointed at the boys. "Stop bullying her—that's not nice. Sa harap pa ng simbahan..."

 

Bigla naman silang nakipagtakbuhan paalis at iniwang magisa ang Wintot na nakalupasay sa gitna ng eskinita. Mukha siyang baby, ang kyut kyut.

 

Gawa nung papalapit na motor, agad kong pinuntahan ang bata para dalhin sa gilid. 

 

Bumuntong hininga ako. Tilang malungkot ang bata. "Kumain ka na ba?" I began to small talk. Sa lahat ng pwede kong sabihin at tanungin, hindi ko alam bakit ayun pa ang lumabas sa bibig ko. Hindi rin sa judgemental akong tao, pero kasi ang dugyot niyang tignan. Ayoko naman gamitin ang term na pulubi o "skuwater", basta, hindi siya malinis. Naka-puting sando lang ito na may mantsa ng kung anu-ano sa damit, naka madungis rin siyang Olaf na shorts at naka-paa lang.

 

"Hey, gusto mo ba ng pishbol?" I playfully poked her arm, asking her again nung hindi niya pa ako sinasagot. She needs to eat something.

 

Tinignan na niya ako, nasa bewang ko lang siya. She slowly nodded, which means gusto niya ng pishbol. Agad akong napangiti, taking out my hand for her to hold. I smiled some more to assure her that I won't hurt her. Kita ko ang pamumula ng kaniyang katawan. Mukhang pinapalo siya ng kaniyang magulang, kung sino man sila. 

 

She finally took my hand and we playfully skipped on our way to manong's pishbol kart. 

 

...

 

"So, lagi ka ba nilang inaaway, Wintot?" Maingat kong tanong habang nakaupo kami sa bangketa at sinasamahan siyang kumain. Napa-angat ang aking mga kilay nang sungitan niya ako.

 

"Hindi Wintot. Winter!" Malakas niyang sabi. 

 

Winter...kaya pala familiar ang Wintot. 

 

"Sorry, buti sinabi mo." Sabi ko sa bata at hinimas ang kaniyang likod na basang basa ng pawis. "Eat ka na."

 

"Ikaw, ano name niyo po?" Tanong niya sa akin.

 

"Jimin." Sagot ko.

 

"Edi bakit Karina po nakalagay sa ID niyo?" Napatingin ako sa ID ko. Onga pala, pinalitan ko. 

 

"Ah- ano kasi, inaasar din nila ako sa pangalan ko dati-"

 

"Jimin Yu." Bigla kong narinig ang matinding boses ng roommate ko. Sabay kami ng bata lumingon sa kaniya. "Bakit dito ka kumakain? Kanina ka pa hanap ng hanap ng mga kaibigan mo. Pati ako nagalala-"

 

"What's it to you kung saan ako kumain?" I sassed, nagiinarteng galit dahil hindi niya ako sinamahang mag-lunch kanina. "As if sasamahan mo naman ako."

 

"Jimin, I thought we talked about this."

 

"No," I raised my voice, standing up. "You talked. Hindi mo man lang ako binigyan ng say sa-"

 

"Jimin, nasa harap tayo ng bata. I'll hear you out later. Sino ba yan?" Yung bata naman ang tumayo, parang handa nang makipagaway.

 

"Ako si Winter Masigan. Eh ikaw?! Kita mo nang kumakain kami ng pishbol tas susulpot ka?"

 

Oh my God, it's two Winters fighting! Gusto kong videohan huhu...

 

I saw Minjeong put both her hands in her pocket and faced the little girl. Please don't tell me papatulan niya ang cutie na ito?!

 

"I'm Winter Kim," She paused in an intimidating manner. "Thank you."

 

Little Winter and I looked at Minjeong weirdly. "You're thanking her for what?" I asked.

 

"For eating with you," She responded, looking at me. "At kapangalan ko pa talaga ha?" Ngayon parang nangaasar siya. 

 

Minjeong then crouched down so she and the little girl can meet eye-to-eye. Naglabas siya ng panyo mula sa bulsa niya. "Tsk, bakit ang dugyot mo kumain? Lika nga dito." Sumunod naman si little Winter na napatikom ng bibig nang punasan ng Winter ko ang madungis nitong mukha.

 

And of course, there's me from the side watching them, falling in love with my roommate for the millionth time.

 

"Jimin, wala bang nagtitindang tsinelas na malapit?" Tanong niya sa akin. "Naka-paa lang ito oh." Tumayo na si Minjeong at hinawakan agad ang kamay nung bata. And to think she is a clean freak! "Tara, check natin sa tindahan tapos balik na tayo sa apartment para awayin mo na ako." Sabi niya at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

 

Nahuhulog nanaman ako sa kaniya.

 

"Uy, Jimin."

 

Araw-araw nalang.

 

"Jimin..."

 

Araw-araw ko nalang nararamdaman yung sahig.

 

"Jimin, tumingin ka sa daan! Baka mahulog ka!"

 

Enough with me, Minjeong. Bawal nga mahulog, kaibigan kita-

 

"Jimin, hey!" Parang bigla akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. Tangina naman kasi, batuhan ba naman ako ng unan! "Wake up, cheese cat!"

 

Cheese cat? Was I dreaming? Wait, I know that voice. 

 

"Aeri?!" I said in surprise, putting the pillow she threw at me aside to see her. "The ? Ginagawa mo dito?"

 

"Looks like someone's late sa announcement!" She rolled her eyes at me and plopped herself onto my bed. I immediately wondered where Minjeong was, looking at my bedroom door that Aeri left slightly opened. "When our school announced kanina na invited kami sa foundation niyo, I immediately went here."

 

Because I'm still too sleepy to get all excited, I hope she knows I'm glad to hear that. Makakapunta na sila sa SMU like how I always wanted. I can't wait for Yunjin and the rest of my girls to meet Ning and Aeri. I just know they'll get along. This only means that it's time to let everyone know about me and Minjeong.

 

"Hmm, hindi ba finals niyo? And where's Ning?" I had to clear my throat to get rid of my morning voice.

 

"Ayun, susunod nalang daw siya. She still has two exams to take."

 

"Eh ikaw?"

 

"Inadvance ko na. You know me naman..."

 

I chuckled. Of course...typical Aeri advancing herself to the holidays by requesting to take all exams in one day. Only Minjeong could do it with her noon nung high school. Me and Ning? We'd rather die.

 

"Anyway, asan si Minjeong?" I finally asked.

 

"Nasa sala. She told me to wake you up. We're going to eat na. Tita Yoona cooked brunch kaya tumayo ka na diyan!"

 

"Tita Yoona?" I yawned.

 

"Jimin, sabog ka pa ata. They're here na, hinihintay ka nalang magising. Let's go!" She pulled my arm, urging for me to get up and so I did.

 

Ngayon palang nagsisink in sa akin na nandito na sila. I'm going to meet Lolo Kim na. Hindi ko alam bakit ako kinakabahan. I made sure to fix my bed and fix myself sa CR ng kwarto ko. Nag-rehearse pa ako kung paano ko sila babatiin.

 

Annyeonghaseyo? 

 

Cho-eun a-chim...jeo-neun Jimin im-nida, ban-gap-seum-nida. 

 

Jusko po! Para akong tanga. Bahala na si batman.

 

"Paps, we can't go nga." I heard Minjeong whine as I stepped out of my bathroom. 

 

"Yah- ka-ya dwae!" That must be Lolo Kim's voice, telling Minjeong that they must go.

 

"Jimin and I have plans." My ears perk up at the mention of my name, making me curious. Bakit, saan ba sila pupunta? And I don't remember making plans with Minjeong today. I'll be busy attending school matters with the council again.

 

I went to slowly open my door that's been half-opened kanina pa, my left palm sweating against my doorknob.

 

Shuta, kinakabahan talaga ako.

 

Aeri noticed me first. Minjeong, who sat next to her, has her focus plastered on her grandfather and Tita Yoona.

 

"Yoona-ya, what did you call me last time when you scold me- when I make you go stress-eu?" I wanted to laugh hearing Lolo Kim ask that. 

 

"Tigas ng ulo." Tita Yoona responded. 

 

Hindi ko pa makita ang mukha nila dahil nakatalikod ang upuan nila from where I stood.

 

"Yes, that's it!" Lolo Kim said and turned back to my roommate. "Minjeong-ah, you are tigas ng ulo." I smiled seeing Minjeong scratch her head.

 

Matigas talaga ulo niyan, Lolo. Marami akong masasabi.

 

I finally walked up to them, clearing my throat to make them notice me. I caught Minjeong do a double take, making her stand abruptly to her feet which I found random. Tinaasan ko lang siya ng kilay. She seems nervous and awkward somehow.

 

"You okay?" I asked her.

 

"Ah- ano...dito ka," She stuttered, stepping to the side and giving the chair a pat. I see, she's offering me her seat. Four-seater lang kasi ang dining table namin at lima kami ngayong nandito. "Upo ka po."

 

I smiled at her, squeezing her hand, at hindi na ako nagpakipot pa. I even offered her some space sa upuan dahil payat naman kami pareho, but she insisted on standing. Sa likod ko nalang siya pumwesto at pinatong ang isa niyang kamay sa balikat ko na nagpawala agad ng aking kaba. Now, all I have to do is wait for her to formally introduce me to them who were eagerly smiling at me.

 

"Paps, Tita. I've told you both all about her. Meet Jimin, my roommate—friends since high school with Ning and Aeri." Hindi ko nakalimutan ang Korean tradition na mag-bow. I'm pleased that they bowed back from their seat.

 

"Minjeong, you are right." He says, smiling at me with a look of amazement. "She looks like Mama Mary." Oh my God, he did not just call her out like that?! Napatingin ako agad kay Minjeong, taking me back to when I asked her to describe her crush to me. 

 

Halatang gusto na niyang magpalamon sa lupa. 

 

"Minjeong, seriously?" I heard Aeri chuckling next to me.

 

"Sh-shut up, wag kayong naniniwala sa matandang 'yan." She said, then awkwardly left to go to the kitchen. Napailing nalang ako nang nakangiti.

 

"Jimin-ah, jal mogo." Pag-senyas ni Tita Yoona sa pagkaing niluto niya, inviting me to eat. I widened my eyes at the food: bacon, eggs, rice, and some cheese sauce.

 

"Bacsilog? You cooked bacsilog, Tita?" I asked in a playful tone.

 

She nodded eagerly. "Mr. Kim's favorite. He won't shut up about it when we first had it in Baguio."

 

I took my first bite, making sure to get some of the cheese sauce on my rice. 

 

Ang sarap?!!!!!

 

"I saw your stock and decided to make them." Tita Yoona continued to explain.

 

"Sarap?" Lolo Kim joined in, trying to speak in Tagalog which I found cute.

 

I nodded, "Neomu sarap," telling him it tasted very delicious. "The sauce is really good." I then returned to look at Tita Yoona, complimenting her cooking.

 

Minutes later, Minjeong returned to where we were, preparing a glass of water for me to drink.

 

Okay, I don't know what's with me today—I mean, we've always been this domestic with each other pero may kakaiba lang this time. Naalala ko nanaman yung posisyon namin kagabi. 

 

"Jimin-ah," Lolo Kim goes again. "Minjeong won't come to see Eugene with me. Can you make her?"

 

Eugene? Who's Eugene?

 

"I already scheduled the date today. He is very excited to meet her." He continued, making my brows crease at the center.

 

"Uh- Eugene? Date? What's meron? Why does he want to see Minjeong po?" Sunod-sunod kong tanong. 

 

Bigla naman akong tinulak ni Aeri na natatawa sa akin. "He's talking about Eugene Torre, you idiot." She whispered close to my ear.

 

The Filipino chess grandmaster? Okay...haha...akala ko naman!

 

I then looked at Minjeong who stood with her hands in her pocket, listening to us from the side. "Minjeong, it's Eugene Torre. Why would you not want to go?" Tanong ko.

 

"Gusto ko umattend nung fifth day kasama ka. Gusto lang kita makasama today." She frowned saying this, making me sigh. What strikes me the most is that she's being vocally clingy right now. And as much as I want to grant her request, I'm going to be busy today.

 

"Minjeong, you might as well go. Magiging busy ako today. Last day ng foundation eh-"

 

"Okay lang, hihintayin ka nalang namin ni Aeri." Bigla namang nag-react si Aeri kay Minjeong.

 

"Dinamay mo pa ako ah..." Minjeong ignored her.

 

"Be-behave kami, I promise. Kahit patambayin mo lang kami sa office mo." Pagkulit ulit ni Minjeong.

 

"Are you seriously going to give up an opportunity to meet Eugene Torre? That's crazy Minjeo-"

 

"Bakit? Si Magnus Carlsen ba siya?"

 

"Yah- I can't understand what you girls are saying but let me make a deal." Lolo Kim butted in, making us all look at him. "Forget Eugene, but let me go to your school too."

 

"You're...wait, you mean you want to come with us?" Minjeong asked for clarification. Lolo Kim calmly nodded. "Tita Yoona, is he being serious?" Tanong niya naman sa isa, causing her to whisper something into the old man's ear.

 

"He says he's being serious," Sagot ni Tita Yoona. "He wants to see what kind of environment you girls study in." I turn to look at Minjeong to see what she thinks. Kasi kung ako ang tatanungin, okay lang naman sa akin. As long as they're going to be fine with my absence and the crowd which I know Minjeong tends to avoid.

 

"Okay...sige." A small grin appears on my roommate's face. "I just know my chess club would be happy to see you." She adds, looking at her grandfather who's smiling from ear to ear.

 

-

 

Maya maya, after brunch, I'm back in my room, busy putting on some light make-up while there's Aeri who's helping me find something to wear. Sa aming apat na magkakaibigan, siya ang pinakamagaling manamit.

 

"Ugh, I hate this—I don't know what pieces would go well with your blonde hair." She complained. "What do you usually where sa school ba?"

 

"Hmm, tube tops? Sleeveless? Then I'd usually just pair them with some jeans and a cardigan over." Sagot ko while putting on some blush.

 

"Seems too casual. I want to dress you up today." She insisted, holding up two tube tops that she got from my cabinet: one is black na ilang beses ko nang nasuot, and then there's the red one which Minjeong got me for valentines earlier this year.

 

"Let's just go with the red. Feel ko babagay siya sa half-up hairdo ko. What do you think?" 

 

"Bagay po." Minjeong's voice suddenly entered the room, making me and Aeri turn towards the direction of my bedroom door.

 

There she stood, peeping out of the half-opened door. I immediately motioned for her to come sit next to me, in which she did, handsomely making her way with one hand in her pocket. She's simply wearing an oversized black Vetements tee with her favorite pair of low-rise baggy jeans. I also notice that she's wearing the pair of clear specs I once got her which she rarely uses nowadays, making me smile.

 

"Look at Minjeong who barely even has to try," Aeri complimented her. "Ayaw mong mag-make up?" Umiling lang si Minjeong.

 

Aeri sighed. "Sana all, clear ang face. Magsama kayong dalawa!" She playfully said.

 

Napatingin naman kami ni Minjeong sa isa't isa. I don't know why she's keeping a safe distance from me but I decided to pull her close, reminding me again of our position last night. I could tell from her body language that she's shy at para bang may iniisip.

 

She's being akward for what though? Napapaisip ako.

 

I went over to my purse, grabbing my tinted lip balm. "Let me put this on you before I get changed," I said, opening my Nivea balm. "Para hindi ka namumutla masyado. May tint naman ito-"

 

"S-strawberry..." She muttered, making me unsure if she was asking or plainly stating that it's strawberry flavored.

 

"Yes, strawberry. Ayaw mo ba? Too late, lalagyan na kita." I said, gently putting some balm on her lower lip. Siya nalang bahalang magkalat. "Ito kaya lagi kong gamit. Binili ko sa Watsons with Ryujin kasi biglang nag-buy one take one. And it's very mabango—I like the smell, and it tastes good."

 

I want to slap myself for spewing a ton of unnecessary information.. Masyado akong nagiging-TMI. 

 

Like "tastes good", really?!

 

Gawa ng awkwardness niya, ang awkward ko na din tuloy.

 

"I know." I heard her say under her breath, looking away. 

 

I know, I repeated in my head. And it only took me a few more repeats to get what she said.

 

It reminded Minjeong of the kiss.

 

Gusto ko tuloy silang palabasin ng kwarto ko so I could scream into my pillow.

 

Aeri cleared , breaking the awkward silence in the room. "Minjeong, tara na. Bibihis na si Jimin," Pulling Minjeong away from me. Tama 'yan Aeri, lumabas muna kayo, please lang. "Unless you want to stay..." She added in a suggestive tone.

 

Nakakaasar!

 

Bigla naman siyang nakatanggap ng malakas na hampas kay Minjeong na binilisan nang lumabas pagkatapos. Before Aeri could shut door, she turned back to look at me with a smirk on her face. "Bading ka," She paused. "Bilisan mo diyan."

 

-

 

"Hey, didn't you guys mention dati na Winter and Karina tawag nila sa inyo?" Aeri broke the silence in the car. Napatingin nanaman kami ni Minjeong sa isa't isa. "So, do we call you by that or your Korean names?"

 

"Winter and Karina," Tita Yoona repeated. "Those are their english names, right?"

 

"Yes po," Aeri answered for us. "That's what they use in school."

 

"Why not their Korean names?"

 

"Uh- long story," Si Winter na ang sumagot. "But yeah, please call us Winter and Karina for now. Our friends might ask us many questio-"

 

"Lolo," I didn't let my roommate finish. "Tita, just call us however you'd like po." I said to them. If we're going to let her family in on our little pretending and hiding, I won't let it.

 

"Okay!" Lolo Kim exclaimed like a kid, making us all chuckle.

 

Minjeong then glanced at me, asking if I was sure of the idea, so I assured her with a nod. We then smiled at each other before returning our attention to the front.

 

"Aeri-ah," Lolo Kim called for our friend. "How come you and the chinese girl don't study here?" Parating na kami sa parking. Dito sa gate two naisipan ni Minjeong pumwesto dahil hindi crowded dito.

 

"Oh, SMU doesn't have her course po." She simply answered. "Kaya I enrolled to Kwangya with her so she won't be alone." Minjeong and I smiled hearing that from Aeri.

 

"What course?" 

 

"She's taking music business management po. She wants to start a record company someday," I can see Lolo Kim and Tita Yoona's reactions from the mirror, the two seem to be very stunned to hear about the uncommon course. "Meanwhile, I'm taking production and set design in film, but I'm more focused on the costume fashion side." 

 

"Very interesting, you all have very expensive courses." Tita Yoona commented, making the three of us nod in agreement.

 

Nabigla naman ako kay Minjeong, akala ko kasi aakbayan niya ako nang hawakan yung headrest ng upuan ko. Ayun pala, papark lang siya and she needed support para hindi mangalay sa pagtingin sa likod. I gulped when I saw the veins on her neck. 

 

Tangina, nababading nanaman ako. 

 

And now that I think about it, it'll be everyone's first time seeing Minjeong with her new haircut. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako o hindi, lalo na pagdating kay Minju. I know I told her na hindi ako makikipag-agawan, but I only told her that kasi hindi ko na kailangang makipag-agawan pa—I mean, what's the point when she likes me already?

 

Looks like I'll have to face Minju later. For sure she's going to want to talk after what I had replied sa comment niya sa post ko the other day. 

 

Hays, parang gusto ko nalang itago si Minjeong sa bulsa ko...o kaya ayain siyang umuwi, humiga ulit sa kama ko and have her spoon me again. Knowing sa amin tutuloy ang dalawa naming kaibigan mamayang gabi dahil nag-hotel nalang sila Lolo Kim, hindi ko siya makakatabi. It's always been me and Aeri, then Minjeong and Ningning.

 

Pwede tabi kami ni Minjeong mamaya? Pwede kami naman magtabi? Gusto ko katabi si Minjeong matulog...pwede ba 'yon? I rambled in my thoughts. Like how am I supposed to ask them that without sounding desperate and sudden?

 

Hay buhay— 

 

I just know today's going to be a long day.

 

-

 

Here I am with Ate Eunbi, busy greeting our visitors from Brent, Enderun, and Kwangya. Sa totoo lang, si Ate Eunbi lang yung bumabati. Ako tamang ngiti lang sa tabi niya. I can't think straight and my mind's clouded by Minjeong and the freaking freshmen from Yunjin and Ryujin's COMM TV org.

 

"Hey, sinabihan ko na sila Yunjin na wag siyang interviewhin. Alis na kayo-"

 

"Sino ka ba para pakielaman ang org namin?" Sagot nung malditang freshman sa akin.

 

Tangina niya lang? Bakit ang tatapang na ng mga bagets ngayon? Mga bastos!

 

Akmang kakalbuhin ko na siya when I felt Minjeong's hand wrap around my fist, stopping me. Tinignan niya lang yung mga bagets na freshmen. "Talk to her like that again and none of you will get an interview from me," Napayuko agad sila, quietly laughing to themselves, all nervously. "Mamaya niyo na ako kulitin. Hahatid ko lang siya sa office."

 

I don't know what's with me today, but what she did was hot. ​And ​​​​it's really rare for Minjeong to take action like that—I swear, may kakaiba talaga sa kaniya simula kanina pa. I could tell gusto din akong sabunutan ni Aeri sa gilid dahil alam niyang kinikilig ako. Sabi niya umayos daw ako dahil kasama namin sila Lolo Kim.

 

"Rina, you keep zoning out. May problema ba?" I came back to reality as soon as I heard Ate Eunbi's voice. "Kanina ka pa parang may iniisip and you keep ignoring our guests."

 

Tumino na ako, fixing my posture, at mas nginitian ko pa lalo ang mga bisitang papasok ng gate, even bowing to some of them. 

 

I heard Ate Eunbi sigh, so I turned to look at her.

 

"Rina, you can go." She kindly urged, making me frown of guilt dahil pinag-day off na nga ako kahapon. "I'll tell Joshua to replace you here muna." Umiling ako.

 

"Ate, busy si Kuya Joshua sa auditorium." I pouted, insisting to stay. "Magsisimula na yung auction maya maya. Dito lang ako-"

 

"Rina, isa." She insisted some more. "You worked your off the first three days. Ikaw pinaka-napagod sa aming lahat. Mag-enjoy ka nalang today."

 

Why is Ate Eunbi like this? Siya kaya pinaka-napagod huhu...

 

"Pero Ate-"

 

"Ilang members naman ang inassign ko sa auditorium, I'll let Chaewon lead the auction nalang para masamahan ako ni Joshua dito." Aangal pa sana ako kaso... "Sige ka, papasalihin ka namin sa auction."

 

I took a deep breath as she playfully pushed me to go. "Ate, sure po kayo?" Tanong ko, still hesitant to go. "Kahit ako na po tatawag kay Kuya Joshua."

 

"Ako na. Memessage ko nalang siya," She says, shooing me away. "Go find your girl."

 

"Who?" I playfully asked. "Winter?" I swear, hindi ko sadyang mang-drop name. 

 

"Op, wala akong binanggit." Inaasar na niya ako, making me pout. 

 

After exchanging goodbyes with her, I quickly went to my phone to message my roommate. Based on Minjeong's latest update which was an hour ago, she was touring Aeri, Lolo Kim, and Tita Yoona around campus.

 

I wonder where they are now.

 

Me: Minjeong, where ka po?

 

Me: Ate eunbi let me off^^

 

Me: All yours now

 

I'm pushing through the crowd sa grounds kung saan maraming nakakumpulan sa mga food stalls and booths. Aakalain niyong may ganap na carnival rito.

 

Nung nadatnan ko na halos lahat ng booths at wala pa ring natatanggap na reply kay Minjeong, napagisipan kong dumaan muna sa cafeteria para bumili ng drinks. Ayokong bumili sa mga booth para iwas pila. Uhaw na uhaw na rin kasi ako, and getting away from the crowd seems like what I need.

 

...

 

"You're not looking for Winter too, are you?" Napahinto ako sa paglalakad nang marinig ang boses ni Minju. Andito kami sa hallway papasok ng cafeteria at hawak niya ang braso ko.

 

Eto na nga...

 

Para iwas drama sa hallway, binalewala ko ang tanong niya. "I'm just thirsty, Minju." I spoke nicely, breaking free from her grip. "Bakit pala magisa ka? Why aren't you with the girls?"

 

Makes me suddenly wonder what the girls are up to. I just know they made Gaeul join the auction instead of Yunjin. Hindi talaga pumayag si Chaewon eh. Ang desisyunada din ni gagaling...kesyo tumaya mga taga-Brent, Enderun, at Kwangya—wala daw laban ang pera niya. 

 

"Because I've been trying to look for Winter kanina pa," Inis niyang sabi, taking her phone out from her pocket. "I feel like she's avoiding me—cannot be reached. Naka-ilang tawag at messages na ako sa kaniya sa IG, sa messenger...nag-load pa ako ng Go20 para ma-call and text siya. Feel ko tuloy she blocked me."

 

Oh my God, Minju. You did not...

 

I honestly want to judge her for flooding my roommate with calls all over. Because for one, they're not even that close, at least from my perspective. The last time Minjeong mentioned her to me was when Minju made her solve math problems pa. And knowing Minjeong, hindi ito basta-basta nakikipag-call sa kahit kanino.

 

"Minju...look, baka busy lang siya. Kung hindi mo pa alam, she's with her friend and family today. I don't think you should interrupt their time-"

 

"But you were seen entering campus with them?" I gave her a judging look from her response because it sounded like she was making a big deal out of it. "Pwede kang maki-epal tapos ako hindi? Is that it?"

 

Napabuntong hininga ako at napayuko.

 

She's frustrating me.   

 

"Minju, that's not it either." I try saying, managing to keep myself collected.

 

"Then what? Akala ko ba hindi ka makikipag-agawan pero bakit parang pinagdadamot mo siya?" Mas lumapit pa siya sa akin, trying to intimidate me. "Hindi ba may MJ ka na?"

 

"Winter...is...MJ." I didn't hesitate to make the reveal, but I did it slowly and carefully.

 

She had to find out anyway.

 

Napaatras siya.

 

"She's what?"

 

"Minju, matagal na kaming magkakilala. We're friends. We are-" I had to pause, preparing myself for her next reaction. "Roommates."

 

I swear, through the depths of my soul, I'm cringing. This confrontation with her makes me feel like I'm in a teenage teleserye—so dramatic. 

 

"Roommates? What do you mean roommates? So you lied to me? Pati sa mga kaibigan mo?"

 

"It's a long story, Minju. Please, let me explain-"

 

"Wala na akong pake sa explanation mo, Rina." Madiin niyang sabi. "Sabihin mo lang kung gusto mo siya o hindi-"

 

"I'm in love with her, Minju." It took me all my strength to admit that, breaking my promise in making sure that Minjeong gets to hear it first. Well, technically, nasabi ko na kay Chaewon, and I'm sure sinabi niya na din kay Yunjin. Sila Ning at Aeri naman, ang alam nila ay matagal na akong umatras at nakikipagbiruan nalang sa akin. "Simula high school pa." I added.

 

"And does she know that?"

 

"Ano?"

 

"Does Winter know how you feel?"

 

Hindi ko alam bakit natanong niya 'yun. I was kind of expecting her to ask if Minjeong feels the same way instead, but I'm glad she didn't. If she did, it would only put her hopeful heart to an end knowing Minjeong feels the same way as I. And that's not my job. Si Minjeong dapat and mang-reject. Sa kaniya dapat manggaling na gusto niya ako—na gusto niya rin ako. Not me.

 

"She doesn't know," Sabi ko, which is totoo naman. "Hindi pa ako umaamin—and like you said last time, she's dense as ."

 

"Huwag kang aamin." 

 

Ako naman ang napaatras.

 

"Ano?" 

 

"Huwag ka munang aamin. Ako ang mauuna."

 

What the f-

 

Ano 'to, The Amazing Race?

 

"Bahala ka, hindi naman kita pipigilan." I scoffed, turning around para puntahan na ang cafeteria. "Hindi naman din kasi ako nakikipag-unahan sa'yo."

 

Hindi ko na siya nilingunan pabalik dahil alam kong maaawa lang ako. Alam ko namang dapat nung una palang, sinabi ko nang wala siyang laban. But how can I say that when Minjeong hasn't even directly confessed? And if there's a reason for me not to feel bad, ay gawa nung pagreklamo niya kay Chaewon na masyado ko daw inaagaw time ni Winter...kay Jeno nalang daw dapat ako...ang lakas ko daw maki-epal.

 

Like, excuse me?

 

Kung alam mo lang kung ano ako sa kaniya.

 

Hays, ewan ko ba...looks like it's a bad time to see Minjeong knowing na hinahanap siya ni Minju.

 

Edi sino na ang hahanapin ko? I want to look for Aeri sana, tell her everything that happened with Minju, especially about the kiss, but not with all these people around. Lalo na kung biglang sumulpot si Minjeong eh panigurado magkasama lang din silang dalawa.

 

Saktong pagpasok ko ng cafeteria, agad kong namataan si Lolo Kim na mag-isang nakaupo sa pinakadulong lamesa. Bago siya puntahan, pinanood ko muna siya na binubuksan ang straw ng kaniyang banana milk. Kita kong nanginginig ang kaniyang mga daliri, struggling to put the straw on the carton. Naawa naman ako. Ayoko kasing may nakakakitang matandang mag-isa.

 

Pero bakit ba mag-isa siya? Asan na sila? How can they leave him on his own?

 

I finally decided to approach him.

 

"Lolo Kim?" I respectfully bowed, flashing him a smile. "You okay? How come you're alone?" He smiled ear to ear as soon as he saw me, urging me to take the seat in front of him. I gladly took it, also helping him put the straw in his drink.

 

"Many students keep taking Minjeong away. I told Aeri to come with her so I know she'll be okay." Napangiti ako ng sobra. He's such a thoughtful man.

 

"How about Tita Yoona? You're alone po tuloy here." Malambing kong sabi, squeezing a few Tagalog words in because I can't help it.

 

"She is outside, waiting for Eugene to come." Lumaki ang mga mata ko. Akala ko ba hindi natuloy ang pagkikita nila? "He insisted on meeting Minjeong." Dagdag niya.

 

Oh.

 

"That's exciting...Minjeong must be excited to meet him."

 

"Ani," Umiling siya, rejecting the thought. "Minjeong only wants to see you."

 

Ramdam ko ang biglang pag-init ng aking mukha. I don't think I can handle talking about Minjeong like this with him. I decided to change the topic.

 

"Ah, how about you, Lolo? How's SMU naman po? You okay? You tired? How was the tour?" I quickly babbled.

 

"I'm just worried about Minjeong," He brings up his granddaughter again, looking frustrated. "Does she really have friends?"

 

Bigla namang namawis ang mga palad ko.

 

Paano ko sasabihin na wala masyadong kaibigan ang apo niya? 

 

"Why would you worry about that, Lolo? Of course she has friends."

 

She just doesn't have many.

 

"Do they treat her well? She only keeps mentioning you and the Jeno boy. Minjeong doesn't like the students that keep talking to her. Can you introduce me to some of her friends?"

 

Sila Yunjin at Chaewon agad ang tumatak sa isip ko dahil nakailang interactions na sila with Minjeong lately. Pero ewan...I don't think I have the heart to pretend and lie kay Lolo Kim. Looks like I have to change the topic again.

 

"Lolo, would you like to grab something to eat?"

 

"Hmm, maybe a snack would do."

 

Okay, phew. Naalis na si Minjeong sa usapan.

 

...

 

I returned in no time, handing him the snack I had bought while I quickly take a sip of the water I've been thirsting for kanina pa. 

 

"What is this fudgee barr?" He asked, giving the snack I had bought him a strange look. "I-ge wae sa-sseo?" He wonders why I had bought him that particular snack.

 

I covered my mouth, chuckling shyly. "You just remind me a lot of my grandfather po, Lolo Kim." Pagkwento ko. "He'd always buy me that for my birthday—and don't worry, it's masarap."

 

"Can I meet your Lolo?" Hindi ko alam kung sadyang friendly na tao itong si Lolo Kim at kung sino-sino ang gusto naming ipakilala sa kaniya, pero ang cute lang. Perhaps he just wants to meet as many people as he can habang nandito pa siya—habang may oras pa siya.

 

Nalungkot tuloy ako nang maisip 'yon.

 

"I would let you meet him, Lolo. But he's no more na po." Maingat kong sabi, making him frown.

 

"If he is no more, then who will give you fudgee barr on your birthday?"

 

Napangiti ako. I was expecting him to feel sorry for my loss, or express his condolences kaya tuwang tuwa ako na ayun ang naisipan niyang itanong.

 

"Let's just say I'm lucky to have Minjeong in my life." I proudly answered, making me instantly regret that I had brought her back into our conversation. 

 

"You talk so fondly of her, Jimin. You remind me a lot of Mi-young." Yung naging girlfriend naman nung nanay ni Minjeong ang na-bring up niya. Kaso, hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong kabahan o matuwa sa sinabi niya. I just know that she was a good partner despite keeping her illness from her.

 

"Well, Minjeong takes care of me. I can only say good things about her." I commented.

 

"Even if she is matigas ulo?" Natawa ulit ako sa pag-tagalog niya at tumango.

 

"Even if she is matigas ulo." Nginitian ko siya.

 

He took a scrumptuous bite of the fudgee barr, giving it a nod of approval right after.

 

"Neomu sarap!" He joyously said. I nodded along with him, my eyes telling him I told him so. "If I make it to your birthday next year, I will buy many many of this." Dagdag niya, making me emotional. 

 

This isn't good. We've only met today at na-aattach na ako. Nakakamiss pala magkaroon ng lolo't lola. I remember back in high school, mga grade eight, close na kami ni Minjeong no'n at nahuli niya akong umiiyak sa likod ng canteen. I was crying habang kumakain ako ng fudgee barr dahil hindi ko pa rin tanggap na wala na si Lolo. Ever since nakwento ko sa kaniya yung sa fudgee barr, lagi na niya akong binibilhan nito kada birthday ko. Kahit nung nag-debut ako. The only thing that mattered was receiving eighteen pieces of fudgee barr from Minjeong. Medyo nagtampo pa nga si daddy na mas natuwa pa ako sa gift ni Minjeong kaysa sa gift niya.

 

Masisisi niyo ba ako pagdating kay Minjeong?

 

"Jimin-ah, gwaenchanha?" He goes again, asking if I'm alright, making me realize I've been drifting off from our conversation. "Did I make you sad? Want me to cheer you up?" He makes a goofy face, making me feel lighter.

 

"It's okay, Lolo. I'm fine po, don't worry."

 

"You know what else Minjeong told me in Baguio?" Ramdam ko ang pag-angat ng aking mga kilay nang mabanggit ulit ang apo niya. "She said you guys fight a lot." Tumango ako, nakaabang sa susunod niyang sasabihin. "So I hit her with my cane."

 

"Lolo, friends fight all the time." I chuckled as I informed him. "Sometimes she makes me mad...sometimes I make her mad. And one cute thing about Minjeong is, she'll sleep on the couch if she feels bad."

 

"Sleep on the couch?" Siya naman ang natatawa. "You let her sleep on the couch?"

 

"No po," I shake my head. "Sometimes after we fight, we go back to our rooms, and then I'll just find her the next morning on the couch."

 

"Yah, what are you girls? Angry married couple fighting all the time?"

 

He...he meant that as a joke, right?

 

"Something like that, I guess." I responded awkwardly, trying to maintain my smile.

 

"But did you keep in mind what I told you last time?" He then asks, making me think.

 

Feel ko about ito sa sermon niya na pabayaan lang si Minjeong every time she messes up.

 

Nasusunod ko naman, remembering my thoughts from last night while Minjeong was sleeping next to me, kaya tumango ako.

 

"Good," He gives my hand on the table a friendly pat. "Because between you two," He pauses again. "I prefer she makes the first move." My mouth slightly opened, I don't know what to think.

 

"First move?" I asked, confused.

 

Ngumisi lang siya, para bang nangaasar. Pero maya maya, sumeryoso din ang kaniyang mukha na ikinabahala ko. 

 

"My wife was the one that proposed to me, because I was too scared to do so." Bigla siyang nagkwento kaya inayos ko ang pagkakaupo ko. "My daughter never fought back her bullies; it also took her many years to admit she was in love, and when she finally got the girl, she ran away from her when the girl needed her the most." He inhaled deeply before moving on. "And Minjeong—uri Minjeongie...I don't want her to grow up like that. I don't want her to be scared."

 

I watched him as he took his last bite of the fudgee barr, waiting for him to speak again.

 

"Do you know why I like you, Jimin?" I shake my head, fidgeting with my fingers, too shy to look at him. "Because I know you won't give up on her." That made me look at him in an instant—wanting to react, hoping to tell him that he is right about what he thinks, but I wasn't given enough time to when Minjeong suddenly appeared behind him, slowly entering the cafeteria.

 

Finally.

 

"Okay ka lang?" I immediately asked her because she looked like she was being chased by something.

 

"Tinakasan ko yung interview—kung anu-ano na tinatanong nila." Minjeong said in irritation.

 

I could only rub her back, smiling when she too