Myungsoo cursed himself for caring so much about the boy.  He barely knew him, but just thinking about how the boy hadn’t visited him in two weeks was slowly driving Myungsoo mad.  Where was he?  Was he okay?  Myungsoo tried to act normally.  He tried not to strain his ears to hear those soft footsteps, or look up each time someone entered his room.  He tried to forget the soft touch of the boy’s hands or the feel of embracing the boy.

So Myungsoo tried to distract himself; he did his routine walks through the burning victim ward.  Just yesterday, after a week of practice he had mastered the whole floor including the dining hall and the intensive care-unit ward.  Even though he was proud that he had accomplished all this, each time he passed by Sungjong’s old room on the floor above; he would become just as easily sad again.  It’s not like Sungjong was his only friend.  In fact Myungsoo had started having regular conversations with the old man across the hall and the old woman two rooms down.  But these guys didn’t radiate warmness in their speech.  In fact, these two people liked to talk about how depressed they were. Myungsoo didn’t want to be surrounded by depressing people.  He wanted someone who was happy and warmed him up like sunshine. 

That’s why today, Myungsoo was shocked out of his mind when he heard someone say, “Jongie-ah!”

He turned towards the voice. 

“Sungyeol! Stop it! You’re being so childish right now!”  

It was no doubt Sungjong’s voice.  And it sounded happy.  Myungsoo instantly felt relieved but at the same time he couldn’t control the hurt that spread through him.  How come Sungjong didn’t visit Myungsoo after he’d recovered?

By now Myungsoo was sure he was only a few rooms away from where Sungjong was.  Because Myungsoo was on a different floor, he guessed that Sungjong’s room had been changed.  Well obviously.  He certainly wasn’t in his old one; Myungsoo made that old room a part of his daily walks. 

“But you have to admit at least I make you smile!” Myungsoo guessed it was Sungyeol that was speaking.               

“Hyung!  I want chocolate!” Myungsoo could hear Sungjong’s familiar whine and cracked a smile. 

“Fine, but don’t go anywhere!  You can’t leave!  Remember that!” 

Myungsoo went into one of the empty rooms as he heard footsteps leave a room and walk down the hallway towards the elevator.  As he came out of the room, he stopped when he accidentally hit somebody.  He immediately bowed but looked up when he heard a gasp. 

“S—s—sungjong?” Myungsoo’s voice was barely audible.  Bravely, he reached out and grabbed onto soft hands. 

“You’re okay,” Myungsoo breathed a sigh of relief.  He reached out like he was going to hug Sungjong but the hands he were holding, stopped him. 

“Stop,” Sungjong said in a low voice. 

Myungsoo pulled back, “Oh, did I hurt you?”

Sungjong was silent but then grabbed Myungsoo’s hand and pulled him into the room.  Myungsoo stumbled and he grabbed out for Sungjong but his hand slipped right off of the boy’s shoulder.  Myungsoo could tell that Sungjong was even thinner than the last time, if that was even possible. 

“You’re so…” Myungsoo began but Sungjong interrupted him, “So you can use the elevator now?” 

“I was looking for you,” Myungsoo teased, but a part of what he was saying was sincere, “You didn’t visit me.” 

“I’m sorry.  I can’t leave this room.  I’m under medical watch.” 

Sungjong guided Myungsoo to a chair and once Myungsoo was seated on it, he heard Sungjong jump happily onto his bed.

“Sungong…” Myungsoo began but he hesitated, “How sick are you?  What…what do you have?”

Silence. 

“I’ll tell you on one condition,” Sungjong began.  Myungsoo nodded for Sungjong to go on, “You’ll have to tell me what happened to you too.”  Myungsoo swallowed the lump in his throat.  It had taken a long time to burn those memories from his mind.  But if retelling his story was the price to pay to find out Sungjong’s condition, he would tell it a hundred times. 

“You remember that picture you picked up for me,” Myungsoo began but he didn’t wait for a reply as he continued, “My parents live in America.  They co-own this big corporation.  I never get to see them.  For most of my life they hired this woman to take care of me.  She’s the woman in the picture.  She was the only one who cared about me.”  Myungsoo could feel tears wetting the bandage in front of his eyes. 

“She was sick.  I’ve taken care of her before when she was sick.  I like the times where I have to take care of her.  It somehow makes up for all times she’s taken care of me.  That day, I was making soup,” Myungsoo could feel his voice start to shake as he continued, “But I fell asleep while making some medicine for her.  I was so tired from college.  I woke up and…and fire was everywhere.  I ran to the second floor. She was still in bed and smoke was everywhere.  I-I-I grabbed her but when I tried to leave…I couldn’t. The fire had reached the second floor.  At one point I looked up and a floorboard fell on my eyes, blinding me.  But somehow I brought us out without my eyesight.  But….b-b-but she had ingested too much smoke.  She didn’t make it.”  Myungsoo felt the bandages becoming wet in front of his eyes.  He heard the bed squeak and was soon being embraced by small thin arms. 

“I’m sorry,” Sungjong patted his head.  Myungsoo leaned forward and felt his head fall lightly on the boy’s small shoulder.  He felt Sungjong flinch but then Sungjong gently his hair. 

“My parents say they’re too busy to come for me.  They only pay for expenses and…her funeral.  I don’t have anyone.  The only friend I have is in Japan right now and I don’t want to bother him.”  Myungsoo was now in tears and he quickly put his arms around the boy in front of him. 

 “No.  You’ve got me, Kim Myungsoo.  I’ll be here for you.  I’ll make you stronger!” Myungsoo heard Sungjong’s bright voice and then he felt a pair of the softest lips on his cheek.  Myungsoo froze and then he felt the boy quickly move back to his bed.  He heard him say a soft “sorry,” but Myungsoo could’ve imagined it. 

“I had a brain tumor,” Sungjong said in a quiet voice, “The first time I found out I had a tumor was three years ago.  I thought it was gone forever,” Sungjong’s voice dropped even lower, “But it came back and it grew faster.  But I’m okay now.  I just need to stick to chemotherapy!”

Myungsoo gave a sigh of relief.  Sungjong sounded so hopeful, but he felt like the boy was holding something back.  Why were his brother and that Sungyeol guy so worried about him?  Why was he confined to a bed?  Intuitively, Myungsoo felt a shift in the mood and almost immediately after, he heard Sungjong get off his bed and rush off to the side.  

Seconds later, he heard the boy throwing up in the bathroom and then drop down on the floor. 

“Sungjong!” Myungsoo got up and moved his way towards where he knew the boy was, but was shocked when he heard the door slam just a few feet in front of him.

“Sungjong! Open up!” Myungsoo took a step with his hands outstretched to reach for a closed door.  Sungjong was coughing uncontrollably in the bathroom. 

“I have---where’s Sungjong?” Myungsoo turned as he heard Sungyeol’s voice.  There was a clatter on the floor.  He assumed a dish had been dropped and then footsteps ran forward and was pounding on the door slightly to his left.

“Sungjong! Open up!  Are you okay?  Open up this instant!” Sungyeol’s voice was full of worry. 

“Hyung,” Sungjong’s voice was weak inside the bathroom as he managed to speak through his coughs, “It’s bad hyung.”