If I could tell you

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After spending the last 8 years in LA, Naeun had returned to Korea, for good, finally after making up her mind, she knew what she had to do with her life after trying to think of everything she wanted to achieve.

She had decided to just stay with her parents, while she can also focus on opening the cafe that she wanted, and continue her job as freelancer web-designer.

She had came back, and it had been a week now, but she was hardly in contact with her old friends in these 8 years, to even tell them about her return. She couldn’t think of anyone in particular to call.

Back in Seoul after 8 years, that too when it was Christmas day, she was feeling quite nostalgic walking through the street to the church she often visited in past.

One person that crossed her mind in that nostalgia, visiting the same church again, was Lee Taemin, the shy boy of the choir she was part of.

Naeun & Taemin were in the same choir group, she would visit the church practically every Sunday back then, and so would he, that’s how they started talking to each other after noticing each other several times.

Both were quite shy people in the whole group back then and she couldn’t remember exactly who smiled first, and who said the first hello, but he was the only person in the memories she had of this church.

She had left for LA at the age of 21, till then she would visit the church every week without skipping. She was young then and so was he, and they used to talk about their unsparing dreams they had as young hearts back in time with each other.... 

Friends was, what they called each other as the days passed building the bond between them, but she knew very well how she didn’t think of him as merely a friend, when all she thought in the entire week was talking to him on every Sunday.

He was a bright yet very stubborn & passionate boy, who wanted to do the kind of work that would have an impact on the world, and for their young age she was impressed by the way he thought, and how he was so determined & confident about his dreams, unlike his usual shy self otherwise.

She had decided to move to LA for her graduation & with time her memories before her departure had been vivid but now that she was revisiting this memory, he had remained, he was still there, so clear in her head, as it is, like the replayed video clip from old times.

She didn’t know till now she had kept him so preserved in her memories without even thinking much about him in this lost time, as if they had met just yesterday.

She walked inside the church, read her prayers, and was walking back through the aisle towards the exit now, but stopped on her feet midway, after seeing a familiar figure on the bench on the right side. 

He had his eyes closed, praying himself, and she took the chance to observe him carefully, and ofcourse she was right, she did remember him too well.


She was waiting outside the church for the last 10 minutes, and still couldn’t see him coming outside.

After 10 more minutes of waiting, she finally saw him stepping out of the church, making his way down through the stairs, as she walked forward to stand near the gate, being obvious to get him to notice her, as he did walk in her direction now, getting closer step by step.

Her nervous face was getting tense, as her heart started running with the reducing distance between them, and as he was almost in front of her, he chose to walk past her, his eyes now found to be completely distracted from her.

Her jaw dropped as she stood there in amazement, biting on her lip in wash of embarrassment now. 

Why did she think he would remember her too? 

She should be going back home too now, as her family must be waiting for her to have dinner, so she turned around to walk out from the gate herself, as he was walking back his way to her with a smile this time.  

She ended up rolling her eyes on him, giving away her own smile, feeling shy, “I can’t believe this” she murmured to herself,

“I can’t believe this” he repeated, hearing her words as he was close enough, stopping few feet before her, “Look who’s back?”

She ended up chuckling, running her hand through her hair, the shyness taking over her mind, as she went completely blank on what to say.

“What are you doing here?” thankfully he asked first, 

“I had came in the church as it’s Christmas eve” “and saw you inside, so-” she was explaining what happened, 

“Were you waiting for me here?” he looked amazed, making her fluster too, “Uhh??” she realized, looking away from him, “It’s been really long, right?” she had to change the topic, but she was bad at it unfortunately.

She turned her gaze back at him, as he was smiling before nodding silently, “It’s been really long seeing you” 

“Glad to see you again!” his smile grew wider, making her press back her smile, “Hmm” “Me too” she nodded back, feeling her cheeks getting heated for no reason at all now.

“Are you going back home?’ he asked, as she hummed in response, she could hardly think of words to spill out,

“I’ll drop you then?” 

She contemplated for a moment but agreed, as they walked to his car together then.

“When did you come back?” 

“A week ago”

“A week?” he was shocked for some reason, “I wouldn’t have known about it ever, if we hadn’t met here, right?” he went on, with a smirk coming up on his lips, as he shot her an indicating gaze.

“Probably?” she blinked, avoiding his eyes on her, as she heard him chuckle, “Well thanks to Christmas, we met again then!” he announced, making her smile on his words, as he smiled back.

They had come to the car, as he opened the door for her, making her hope in, as he rushed to the driver seat then, getting in himself.

Her phone rang, and it was her mother asking where she was and when was she coming back home, 

“I met Taemin oppa” “I’m coming back now” she answered, as her mother was surprised to hear the name, “Taemin?” “The boy from your choir, right?” Naeun hummed, 

“Bring him over for the dinner then” her mother got excited suddenly, taking Naeun by surprise now, she had been sharing about her feelings for him with her, and she was afraid that her mother won’t stay calm if she meets him but Taemin was sitting in front of her, how was she supposed to tell her an excuse in front of him, “Eomma, he’s busy!”

“For what?” Taemin answered this time, making Naeun's heartbeat quicker in the anxiety, as she looked at him, who was waiting for her to explain, “You must be busy today right?” 

“But why?” he was smiling, trying to understand her avoiding to explain now, “I’m not that busy” “Do you need anything?” he was curious seeing her act careful.

“If he’s not busy, just bring him over” she heard her mother say, as the call got disconnected, making her stare at her phone speechlessly.

“If you don’t have-" "any plans-" "my mom wants you to join us for dinner” hesitating and hesitating more, she ended up delivering her mother’s message to him, 

“I don’t mind” “I’ve met them in church a few times while you were away” he sounded relax, but nobody from her family had told her about this, “Looks like you don’t know about it” he smiled, reading her surprised face, as she was staring in space, lost in her shock.

“Why?” “You don’t want to get involved with me?” She was surprised by his question, as he started the engine to get going.

“It’s not that” she couldn’t figure out why her mother didn’t tell her about meeting him in all this time, like she was the only one who had an idea of Naeun having feelings for him, and she not mentioning it was making Naeun wonder about the reason.

“Uhmm, is it about you liking me back then?” he mentioned, as she felt her heart dropping to the floor, in that millisecond, 

“Did she tell you that?” she was shocked, as he smirked, “No” “It was just my guess”

She wanted to jump out of that running car right now, but unfortunately she couldn’t do much but open her side of window, to get her some air at least.

Why did she think her mother would give him any information about her crush on him?

She was really feeling so dumb right now.

She couldn’t say a word till they had reached her house.

They were walking to the front door, as she kept walking ahead without waiting for him, so he took few longer steps finally to walk beside her, “You should relax, or everyone is going to ask you about that pale face you have right now” he whispered, making her freeze at her place to take a second.

She took a deep breath, before walking again, hiding her embarrassed face from him by looking to the other side till they walked inside.

Her family looked quite comfortable meeting him, and she could guess how often they had met in her absence and was hearing all the stories too now.

The dinner felt short, when she was more intrigued in knowing everything that happened here in her absence. 

It seemed like Taemin had quite an impression on her parents that she was hardly aware of, she was seeing his mature, caring side newly, wondering now how true was it.

He decided to leave after the dinner, as Naeun followed him out to the car, on her mother’s insistence.

She was walking behind him quietly, as he stopped near the car, turning back to her, making her step back startled, “Let’s meet again” “We need to talk”

“Huh?” she was afraid it’s about the beans she spilled earlier in the car, “Is it about-?” she was hesitating again,

“Did I not tell you that I liked you as well?” he spurted out, dropping her heart once again, as she couldn’t stop staring at him this time, making him look away first, “I’ll leave now” he disappeared in his car quickly, and then his car disappeared soon too, but Naeun was still in her own shock, staring at the empty road. 

What did she just hear? He liked her too?


Taemin was quite busy at wrapping the pending work post-Christmas, and Naeun really wanted the full story behind his words now.

The boy she had a hard crush on 8 years ago liked her back. Then what about now? Why does he have to tell her that now?

He said to meet again and had not called her again at all. And all the incomplete information was tormenting her. 

She was only more confused the more she thought about it.

So after spending two whole nights, coming up with a reasonable excuse to meet him again, she decided to directly visit his workplace, on the third day.

He knew about her coming to meet him, as he was the only one who could give her the address, she had to face it with all her pride on stake now.

She was waiting for him in the lobby of his workplace, as he had told her that he would finish his work by 8pm, and she had come early, just in case, so there were still 15 more minutes to go for 8pm.

She sat there on the sofa of the lobby, her unease rising slowly with the empty time filling with number of thoughts.

What was this thrilling excitement she was feeling thinking about his words last time !?

She had no idea these feelings for him were so solid, and had least expected them coming back after all these years of distance.

What if he was just talking about the past?

She still had no idea about his feelings right now, and hardly knew how he has changed in these 8 years, to be so excited based on only her part of emotions & his memory from past.

She was thinking about leaving now till she had time, as she still had five minutes left, and she was going back and forth with her excitement and regret in that little time, struggling to decide.

She stood up finally walking to the exit again, but heard her name in his voice, and realized that she had crossed the distance of going back, right when she called him to meet.

“Were you leaving by any chance?” he asked, walking to her, as she looked down without answering, 

“Well, we should leave together then” he was waiting for her to respond, but she didn’t, making him reach for her hand to hold, as his own hand went cold holding hers awkwardly.

She was staring at him, as he dragged her out of the building, and he made sure to release her hand as soon as they were out of the building showing her the way to his car.

Their awkwardness was only making the atmosphere heavier, as he continued to drive and she continued to look out of the window.

He parked the car in front of Han river, and she could feel his gaze on her now, as she decided to stay in the car instead of getting off then, waiting to hear him say something first.

She turned to him when he was still quiet, to find his anticipating eyes watching her, when she felt the air getting serious, “I have too many questions” she whispered, making him blink, smiling now, “Shoot!”

She giggled, on his way of announcing that, with also her head getting a bit lighter now, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask him all those questions she was so curious about for the last two days.

As she smiled to herself, “Suddenly I can’t remember any right now” 

“I couldn’t forget anything about you for these 8 years” “How was it for you?” he asked instead,

She took a glance at him to smile again, thinking about it, 

“I tried dating but came to conclusion that it was only exhausting me to keep searching for what I was never gonna get"

“It’s fascinating for me how I feel about you is still the same” “I didn’t expect to feel this way again, you know?" her eyes were watching the view of river ahead reflecting the lights, as she continued to pour it all out now, "But meeting you that day, I remembered what I was searching for in the men I had met in these 8 years”

“Still you don’t want to date me?” he was too direct, she would find her heart skipping everytime he chose to speak now, 

“You had that plan in mind?” She was scared that he could convince her just like that, but she wanted to be as clear as possible to help herself in having this conversation with him.

“Hmm” “If you’re here and we feel the same way, don’t you wanna try?” he looked very sincere about his decision, and she was only getting more nervous reading his genuine intentions in his eyes.

“We won’t be able to go back to being friends again” she was expressing her long left concern too, as he paused taking a moment to answer, trying to understand her as well,

“After not telling you about my feelings back then, and then not seeing you for eight years after that, all I want is to let you know that my feelings haven't changed even a bit”  he had thought through, but she had just started the process.

“Aren’t we past being friends a long time ago?” he dropped another hard question for her to answer in the middle of her complicating dilemma, proving his determination.

She was right, she remembered him too well, and not much had changed than their age & experience, that she was still feeling the same way, she could feel his energy again, which was only getting more and more familiar.

“Are you saying we can’t even be friends if we are not dating?” she didn't wanted to jump to dating as soon as she had landed back, and had hardly met him for two days.

“Do you want me to treat you as a friend when we know about each other’s feelings now?” he answered with a question back at her.

He was also afraid of this same change for years & years, and 8 years passed down now, he had known what his heart wanted, and now that she was in front of him, all that mattered was speaking the truth. 

She was flustered and dumbfounded, she was rediscovering this feeling newly again after years but he sounded more firm & confident, he was right, they had crossed the line of friendship long ago even if they had not told each other about it, and after talking about it finally, how can they just go back as if nothing happened.

“You can take your time to think” he added, seeing her face lost in the chaos of her thoughts, “I’m not going anywhere” 

There were fireworks bursting outside, as they both got distracted for a while, watching them through the glass, “Should we step out?” she asked, making him nod back.

They came out to stand in front of the car, watching the fireworks in the sky, as they rested their backs on the bonnet of Taemin’s car, folding their arms on their chest, as they continued watching the fireworks burst one by one.

“It’s good to be back” she said reminiscing how she missed being with her family & friends during Christmas, like the past times. She had friends in LA as well, but yes, she missed this kind of Christmas here.

“Hmm” “It’s good you’re back” he added, smiling, making her smile more.

He took a glance at her to notice her shrivelling inside her thin long coat, “Should we go inside again?” “You’re shrinking because of the cold” he chuckled, watching her grit her teeth inside, shaking her head, “Five minutes more” she wanted to watch the fireworks for a while. 

He moved back to the car, pulling out the extra outer he had in the car, handing it to her, “Wear this then!”

She scanned the outer for a moment, “How many girls have used this before me?” she asked eyeing him with a narrowed gaze now, making him adore the cuteness on her face, as he was smiling confidently, “Only one”

“Was she pretty?” she was blinking flustered, not expecting him to give her that information so easily, “Hmm” “My mom is quite pretty”

She ended up closing her eyes after hearing his answer, turning her head up again to look at the sky, trying to hold back laughing but failed, snickering in soft laughter, getting more embarrassed to look back at him now.

“Don’t tell me you have not dated anyone?” she tried acting casual again, but she had only got more curious to know about that number now, when the topic was up on the surface.

“Did I?” he had a sly tone, as she shot him a glance, making him smile cheekily, “Not really” he shook his head innocently, as she found herself melting just by watching him from afar, trying to play adorable.

“Put it on before you disappear shivering in this cold” he forced the jacket in her hand, as she took it, trying to put it on, she was struggling with the other sleeve, making him hold it behind her to put her arm into it. As they relaxed back on the bonnet again, watching the fireworks for a longer time, with a comfortable silence between them.

“Should we really date?” she had chose to speak again, after going through her thoughts in the brief silence. 

He took a glance at her thoughtful face, as she was watching her feet, drawing figures on the thin layer of snow on the ground with her shoes, holding the edges of the coat crossed over her tightly, as he ended up chuckling, watching her decision so clear on her face.

“You choose” he wanted her to make her mind, though it was quite clear when she was hardly trying to hide her heart now.

“I’m hungry” she blurted out of nowhere, as he was taken aback by her response, “Excuse me?” he was hoping for the answer finally and she had flipped his expectations, just like that.

She turned around slowly from the opposite side, walking away quickly with tiny steps to sit inside the car, as he walked back too to hop on the driver seat, but she was acting funny now making him smile at her actions, “What should we eat?” he asked before starting the engine,

“Meat” she answered, as he was smiling wider hearing the obvious answer, as he stepped on the accelerator to take off the road finally.

They had dinner together, and went for dessert as well in the nearby cafe, every place was still vibrating with a Christmas theme decorations and menus, as they had to get themselves their favorite hot chocolate with marshmallow like little kids, and both were quite excited to discuss what they loved eating in past & now, and what they liked doing back then which was not available anymore, and they were busy being their younger self again after a long time, forgetting that they just had a serious adult talk an hour ago.

They hardly had gone out to have fun and walk around together like this when they were younger, both were very shy to ask each other out even for a single meal then, and didn’t know how to express themselves at all, as they did now.

As if time was rewinded, they were experiencing their young days again with each other.

They were back home, as she stayed in the car, making him wonder what it was, as she her seat, releasing her seat belt, as her hand ran through her hair, slicking them down unnecessarily, taking a deep breath all of a sudden, as he observed her preparing face, “As I told you, take your time” “It’s fine!” he urged knowing she would be trying to explain again.

“I know” she sighed, she was calmed by his words, “It’s just that, I want to spend more time with you like we did today”

“Being a girlfriend will be a better way to do that, right?” she just let it out in one breath, as his heart had escalated to do nothing more but smile for now, when his cheeks stayed up in the cheeky grin, and she found herself blushing watching him smile like that, “Well-” he could hardly form words now, “If you say so,”

She nodded, and maybe she should be leaving then, as she had said what she wanted to, but she was not ready to leave the seat. He was watching her blushing on her own, comfortably seated on the seat beside him, with no thoughts of leaving any sooner, as he reached to press the button of his seatbelt, releasing it, to turn to her, reaching for her hand, making her face him again. 

She was just flustered till she saw his dark gaze that traveled down to her lips as he moved forward, holding her hand firmly, his hooded eyes focused on her lips, as he moved closer, making her close her eyes, nervous suddenly holding her breath in. 

Seconds passed, and she was still waiting with her eyes closed for what she had anticipated, getting time to be glad about having dessert after the dinner for a moment, but- “Sorry” she heard him, as all other thoughts dropped, with her heart beating faster than before, anger taking the place of her anticipation now.

“Why?” she snapped, opening her eyes to see him back on his seat, as she blinked watching him biting his lips nervously, “Why did you do that to me?” she had to ask again, staring him down with the offended look so clear on her face.

He got nervous, way too nervous, to move any closer than he had reached, he felt like his heart would explode now, he couldn’t go further and decided to retreat, saving it for another day, but now seeing Naeun worked up because of it stunned him more.

He chose to stay quiet, seeing she was upset, as he pouted cutely instead, as she looked away not able to keep up with his confusing attitude.

“You’re pissed?” he teased, as she rolled her eyes, only getting more angry now, “I’m not” 

“You’re pissed because I didn't do it or-?” he wasn’t expecting her to be angry about this, so it was amusing for him to see her react so strongly, she let out a frustrated sigh, turning to open the car door but he raised ahead, pulling it back to close again, pressing the lock button, turning his head to her, as they were face to face again, staring at each other intently, “Should I really close my eyes this time?” she whispered, making him laugh softly, as he didn’t give her the answer, enveloping her lips before that, as she closed her eyes then smiling against his lips, making him smile back, when he gave her a soft, gentle kiss, before moving back to sit on his seat again, watching her, as she was watching the road in front, flushed with shyness, her lips that had the lingering taste of him.

She decided to look back at him finally and he was still staring at her, as a moment of transfer happened, making both of them move forward again, together this time, as she reached to hold his face for support, making him reach the back of her neck, to have a better taste for themselves.




Another Christmas story.... I got late for the Christmas eve, but hope this story warms your heart and gives you the cozy feeling whenever you read it..... 

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to everyone!!

Hope you're spending a warm winter !!


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Chapter 27: It's so cute and sweet ><
lizzy26596 #2
Chapter 27: Aww I miss jonghyun 😢. I'm glad that you posted despite the situation about Shinee. This story is so cute. Thank you for posting this. I can't wait for the next update
Winter_Sakura #3
Chapter 27: I like this ☺️
SinixaJapan #4
Chapter 26: I really liked this chapter, although I would like to know a little more about their story together. It's beautifully tragic. Thanks autor
lizzy26596 #5
Thank you for the chapt 26. It was amazing and your writing skill is perfect. I really love your story about Taeun. I can't wait for the next one.
SinixaJapan #6
Chapter 25: what a cute chapter!! these two are so lovesick🥰
lizzy26596 #7
Chapter 25: Awwww sooo cute 😍 I love it. Thank you so much
Chapter 25: Awwww
Chapter 24: what a cute chapter, it gave me butterfly🥰 thank you so much and can't wait for another chapters. and so excited to see valentine's special chapter😍
SinixaJapan #10
Chapter 23: Amazing as always. Thanks and I can't wait for the other chapters! 🥰