Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

Jaejoong was over at Jianyu's house and he was languishing and in perfect bliss—both at the same time. 

It had been two days since the party and he, Jaejoong, turned over the leaf of maturity, as he’d like to believe, and the two of them have gone back to being texting buddies; so far, they’ve only been texting. 

It felt as if everything changed. 

Like, the world as he knew it was completely different; as if the earth had tilted off its axis and his comprehension of his very existence was vastly different than it was a few days ago. At the same time, it was as if nothing had changed. 

He had just finished a seven-hour shift at his parents’ grocery store and he felt like the hour rushed by. Jianyu had texted asking if he wanted to come over. Having no plans, he went right over to his house after he clocked off. Jianyu’s parents were still out at work, and his baby sister was out with her friends.

Jaejoong needed the distraction that he knew his friends would provide. He had a lot on his mind. Things he was not ready to address yet, but things he couldn’t get his brain to stop visiting. These things had to do with Jung Yunho.

He felt as if he had been floating since he started texting with Yunho. And that was bad.

Conversing with Yunho just felt so natural, as if it was what they’ve been doing since they learned how to use a phone—it was as easy as breathing. 

Talking to Yunho at the rate he was now made him realize how much he missed A.aime’s friendship. That friendship had been so precious and meant so much to him, to his development. Being friends with Yunho was not too bad of an idea. 

Talking to Yunho on the phone was no different than when he used to not pass a single minute without sending A.aime a message of something–anything. It was so easy to talk to him. It was still easy, even though he now knew he was not this ideal of the precious, amazingly pure, giving person he had thought he was. He was just plain ole-Yunho who had a lot of issues and things he needed to fix. 

Jaejoong couldn’t judge Yunho, he was realizing, because he himself had his own issues. He had no room to be judgemental. Further, like Bryan have always said, people were more than just the sums of their parts. People were like rainbows, he liked to say, and all these colors were strands, not mixtures. People are complicated, it’s best not to see them as one shade of a specific color, but as the whole of what they are. Get to know people if you’re able to. And that’s exactly what he had told Jaejoong before they parted ways for summer, when he encouraged him to be open to talking with Yunho. Even if it’s just to get to the bottom of all these complicated feelings he harbored. 

And he was doing that. Even if he hadn’t told Bryan about that yet. His pride and sense of shame was in the way. 

Even Lani, who he knew didn’t believe him when he kept on saying this was all about a friend everytime he shot her a text with a randomly, specific question, he was lying to. 

He had no excuses other than, he was only human, and only ing nineteen. He had frivolous fears and concerns. 

The person he was most scared of telling the truth to and putting down was himself. His younger self. 

The sixteen year old Kim Jaejoong who, being blunt, used to pray for Yunho and his whole friend groups’ imminent death. That thought had been his lifeline. They were all truly devious people, he believed for so long, and they all deserved the worst in life, and karma would get them. But he, himself, would go off to university, make even more like-minded friends, live an amazing life, and get an amazing romantic partner and just be…glorious.

Jung Yunho not being a complete monster had no part in that version of his future. He was letting himself down, and it hurt.

It was still extremely difficult to marry Yunho with A.aime. Who would have thought Yunho was the sort of guy to spam him with non-stop memes and weird, but highly humorous, gifs? Or that Jung Yunho was gay. And a nerd? And he was hot. Like, insufferably hot.

His attraction to Yunho was something that he knew he needed to deal with, but not right now. At one point, he did have a crush on A.aime. This was probably the residue of those feelings. 

His friends were in the living room. Jianyu was playing FIFA with Jouji and Lilia, and Jaejoong who didn’t care for video games, unlike a good board game, was in the corner sketching them, listening to music, and trying to refrain from texting Yunho—and it was hard, because Yunho was texting him non-stop.

Yunho scared him. 

But all these feelings were things he decided he would deal with at a much later time. When he was ready.

Ding!

Just as Nat King Cole’s Around the World finished playing and Lucky Daye’s equally as beautiful and soulful vocals filled his ears as I Love You Too Much started playing—Jianyu’s jazz and r&b playlist—Jaejoong unlocked his phone and stared at the text Yunho just sent him. It was a short video from a popular social media application.

Not responding, he locked his phone and sighed deeply. 

Why must he feel so conflicted?

“Boo!” 

He startled, jumping in his sitting position. He instinctively turned his phone face down and looked up at Lilia. She was hovering over him, smiling down at him.

“Hi?”

She gave him a teasing smile. “What are you hiding there, hot guy?”

He shook his head, gripping his phone. “Nothing. Reflex.”

“Ooh, really now?” She raised an eyebrow.

He shrugged again, his heart calming down. 

There was the fear he harbored of anyone finding out about Yunho and him.

“Okay then. We were thinking of getting something to eat.”

“Dan’s time?” He asked excitedly, getting up with his joints cracking.

Lilia grinned. “Old man?”

“Don’t start.”

Lilia giggled and wrapped an arm around his chest. She fit neatly under his chin

He could see why Jouji fell in love with her. Lilia was one of the kindest, most giving people he knew. She started a war with Nathen and all who were in connection with him after he targeted Jaejoong, when, originally, she planned on turning him down and forgetting about him hitting on her.

In his lowest moments, even now, she was the first person he reached out to–regardless of when it was. She was just always there for him, no questions asked.

And that’s why Jaejoong couldn’t help but wonder why he was so apprehensive about telling her, at least her, about Yunho.

Maybe because he had more to lose if she knew? Maybe because she really knows what Yunho and his friends did. She was there when he attempted to exit this world and never turned away from him and made herself available to help him put it all back together. She played the strong one for as long as he needed it to feel secure. 

He just couldn’t let her down.

Ding!

It was probably from Yunho. He didn’t have to check his notification.

“I was waiting to see when we’d go to Dan’s,” Jaejoong said.

Dan’s was their hangout spot. They spent countless evenings there talking, playing games, and sometimes studying, and would meet there after each homecoming and prom. It was their little ritual. While other kids would go to parties and get high and drunk in high school, they would go to Dan’s like geeks and nerds and have a blast spending time with each other in the tight booths getting high on french friends and their varied dipping sauces. And they love it like that.

“Why?”

“I’ve been here for almost two weeks and we haven’t gone there yet?”

Lilia rolled her shoulders. “We’ve done a lot. Plus, there’s more to Orange Grove than Dan’s.”

“Nope. That’s a lie. Dan’s is the heart of Orange Grove.”

“I second that suggestion,” Jouji said, lying on his back. 

“Shut up,” Lilia said, throwing the nearest object at him. Thankfully for him, it was a pillow.

“It’s been a long time.” He grinned.

Jaejoong's heart did that thing again, it clenched in that painful way. “I’ve missed you guys so much.”

Lilia jumped into his arms for a hug and patted his back delicately. She smelled like sweet tropical fruits with a hint of caramel. “Me too, boo! And of course, without you, Dan’s is not the same.”

“More like she forbids us from going,” Jianyu said with a cheeky grin.

“Shut up!” She gave him the stink eye.

“Whatever,” he teased, sticking his tongue out.

“Childish.” She turned and looked at Jaejoong, her eyes softening. “It’s just not the same without you,” she said, stepping out of his arms. His heart squeezed, because she meant it.

She would walk through hell for him, and she made sure he knew it. He loved how much he felt loved by his friends, and it all made him love them more.

So, tell them! The little voice screamed.

No!

“Stop it,” he managed to squeeze out. “You’re going to make me cry. Literally.”

“No!” Jouji protested, jumping up. 

“Don’t turn the sprinkler on,” Jianyu teased, knowing how sensitive he was. Jaejoong had no qualms with crying. If he was upset, he would cry. As long as it was in front of people that made him feel safe.

“If we don’t get to Dan’s in, say,” he looked at his phone, “ten minutes, the water-bending will start.”

“No Katara,” laughed Jianyu.

Jaejoong frowned. “Why am I Katara?”

“Duh! She’s the only water bender in the Gang,” Jianyu said jovially, dropping his arm around Jaejoong’s shoulder. 

Jianyu was tall. Above average tall. Six three, to be exact. And, what Jaejoong found the most unfair was that he had nice skin, great hair, amazing hygiene, and he was handsome. So unfair!

“Let’s go, I’m hungry,” Lilia said, grabbing her jacket and backpack. 

Jaejoong watched, as if it were a routine, Jouji seamlessly grabbing her jacket from her fingers and she slid into it and he helped her fix her backpack on her back. 

He felt a pang and his heart filled with longing. For what, he could not define.

Jianyu released him and quickly shut the electronics down.

“Who is driving?”

“My dad let me borrow his car. I'll drive,” he said, stuffing his stuff in his backpack.

“Have you gotten better?” Jouji asked, lifting his arm for Lilia to slide under and she locked fingers with him. He was used to them showing PDA, but it suddenly felt a bit too intimate.

“Rude. You can walk to Dan’s then.” Zipping his backpack as he got up,

“Just don’t kill me. I’d like to get married and have grandkids before I die.”

Lilia made a face and told Jaejoong, “Kill him.”

Jouji frowned down at her and they had a wordless conversation for a few seconds.

“We’ll all be in the same car.”

“Well, make sure he is the only one that dies.”

“That’s not how that works. Regardless, I am a great driver.”

That had them all laughing.

----

His knees felt weak and on the verge of giving out as he stepped out of his mom’s car and closed the driver’s door with trepidation.

Jaejoong stared at the store's name: Jung’s Repair Shop. He juggled the key in his shaking hand.

The shaking started the moment his mother told him the car needed an oil change and she told him the name of her go to mechanic.

He was scared of Yunho.

He was terrified of seeing him. It’s been almost a week since the last time he saw him and he didn’t know how to behave when they saw each other.

Texting Yunho and even talking on the phone sometimes were things he could do without freaking out. But seeing Yunho? Talking to him face-to-face? Now, that was different.

He felt as if he was in a weird state of feeling lost and feeling amped for no comprehensive reason. His heart felt as if it would punch its way out of his chest in a few seconds.

He didn’t expect to see Yunho at the shop—he hadn’t even told him he was coming over—but the thought that he might have made him so nervous he felt like he would pass out at any moment.

Jaejoong was sweating bullets and he swore he smelled musty and nasty now, and he just took a shower that lasted around fifteen minutes and dosed himself in cologne before leaving his home. 

Swallowing in hot, summer air, he walked into the building, making for the office. Just as he reached to open the door, the door flipped open first, making him jump back. 

Yunho stood there. He blinked hard when their eyes met, and then he smiled. 

“Hi?”

Ooh .

His whole body burned, electricity crackling through him. His stomach did that little thing it did whenever he thought of Yunho. It was an uncomfortable topsy-turvy feeling.

He simply stared at Yunho. The real Yunho. the person he had been thinking about a lot lately. There he stood in dirty jeans with grease marks on it, and a black shirt with no sleeves, showing off his biceps.

“Hi.”

They engaged in a short staring contest until he recalled why he was there.

“I am here to get an oil change.”

Yunho nodded and said, “Come in.” After shooing him in, he added, “My dad is in the office.”

“I’ll—”

“No. I’ll get him.” He turned to walk in and stopped. “Take a seat.” He nodded toward the sitting area.

He nodded tensely and made for the seats. The blasting a/c felt good in the humidity.

Yunho’s father was a tall, thin man, with warm eyes, deep dimples, and a smile that took more than half of his face. 

Handing him the keys after he had answered a series of questions about his family and their health, he was left with Yunho in the office. 

They stood there in an awkward silence until Yunho quickly said, “Sit. Can I get you something to drink? It’s been so hot.”

Jaejoong laughed, realizing he was resorting to talking about the weather.

He did take a seat and he got comfortable. “Nothing to drink. Thank you.”

He nodded, looking flighty.

“You can, umm…sit too, if you want.” Jaejoong suggested, unsure.

“No, that’s fine. I’m…I”

“What are you doing here?”

Yunho paused, blinked at him, laughed that gorgeous laugh of his, whole body swaying and he said, matter-of-fact, “I got fired.”

Jaejoong was stunned. He stared at him completely transfixed. 

“I’m sorry?’

Yunho continued his laughter. 

Yunho was just staring at him, the corners of his mouth completely stretched, his dimples obvious, and Jaejoong didn’t know what to do or where to look, so he mumbled, “Really. That must .”

He shrugged. “It’s fine.” Jaejoong expected it to be the end of that, but he continued, “I actually have this remote online job that I do. Freelancing. Coding. It’s good. And I’ve decided it would not hurt to help my dad out.” He smiled at Jaejoong, the corner of his eyes crinkling in that charming way that left him breathless. “All I do is answer the phone and clean.”

“No mechanic skills?”

“I help out with a few jobs, too. I can change a tire, oil, and a few other basic things, but that’s it.” He shrugged, his large shoulders rolling, entrancing Jaejoong.

Biting his bottom lip, he dropped his gaze.

Bad boy!

Just then, the phone started ringing.

“Hold on,” he said, rushing to go take it. 

Jaejoong jostled his knees, looking around as he waited, hearing Yunho’s side of the conversation. He was back in less than a solid minute.

“Enjoying summer?” Yunho asked.

Jaejoong nodded. “Mostly. This heat is killing me, though.”

Yunho grinned, lifting his eyebrows in a playful manner. “Imagine working in it six days of the week from eight to eight.”

He chuckled. “The bills have to get paid.”

He shrugged and lifted his heavy arms over his head and stretched. “True that.”

Jaejoong looked away.

He felt sweat pooled under his arm. He regretted wearing a thin, white shirt. “I want to go to the beach.”

“Why not. Let’s go.”

Jaejoong snapped his head around and stared in shock at Yunho. His pulse quickened its beat.

“Go to the beach?” He said carefully, feeling stupid. 

Yunho grinned and nodded.

Jaejoong could understand why half of the student body in high school had a crush on him. Heck, if he hadn’t hated him then, he might have.

Maybe right now he…

No!

“Yeah.” Yunho said, walking closer to the seats. “Sounds like a great idea. It’s hot and I’ve been meaning to go surfing” he said lightly. 

“I guess,” Jaejoong muttered, clenching his fingers together. “But, a cold shower sounds more interesting.”

“You can do a lot of things at the beach you can’t do in the shower.”

“Like what?”

He laughed. “You’re being serious?”

“As a heart attack.” Jaejoong slipped his hands inside his skinny blue jeans pocket. Another bad outfit idea. It was sticking to his legs now. 

“Surfing, for example.”

“Right. You surf?”

He felt stupid at his question. He knew that he surfed, because that was one of the things he had shared with him as A.aime and why he was tan.

Yunho didn't seem to notice his blushing, probably because of the heat, his smile got wider, his eyes got more luminous and he said, “Yeah. Whenever I can.”

“I’ve never surfed before.”

"I know." And Yunho’s eyes widened and excitement filled them. Jaejoong felt like he could see the light bulb lightening up over his head when he softly said wifh alarm pricking his spine, “No!” 

He rolled his shoulders, feeling timid. He dropped his head, staring at his white sneakers. 

Okay, he really had dressed up to go change his mother’s car oil. And he knew why, and it only made his cheeks and ears feel hotter. That heat wave that rushed through him was all physiological and had nothing to do with the hot temperature. 

“You have to do it. It’s great.” His voice held a promise. “Electrifying.”

“Electrifying, heh? That’s the fear,” he said sarcastically.

Yunho simply laughed. “Super safe and great.”

He looked at Yunho’s smiling face. “Great? How so?”

“I can’t explain it, you have to experience it.”

“Yeah, I’m—”

He interjected. “No. I got you. You're off Sunday?”

“The store is open, I was thinking of—”

“You close at five on Sundays, right? I’ll come get you around 5:30. We’re going surfing. You need to experience it at least once.”

“I don't work," he said stupidly.

Yunho got even happier, if that was even possible. "Even better! How about 4:30 then?"

As if his body had been taken over by an alien bewitched by Yunho, he nodded.

"Perfect! Promise you'll have fun."

Dismay settled in his bones. And there was only one thing left to say: "Will there be any waves?”

He laughed in that carefree way again, making Jaejoong’s toes curl. 

“That’s for me and Google to know, and for you to find out. Just be ready.” He his lips distractedly, and bit his bottom lip and smiled in zeal. 

Ooh, !

He was going surfing with Jung Yunho. It sounded like a date. 

Was it a date?

Before he could make a decision, like a rejection, and vocalize it, Yunho’s father called for him. He nodded at Jaejoong and jumped up. Together they walked to the work area.