Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

The second thing he learned was that he hated surfing.

He was really bad at it.

However, like Yunho had said, he was good at coaching. It could be because he was so passionate, and so alive and animated when he was instructing, or the way his body doubled over when he lucked  at Jaejoong’s blunders, but he found it hard to not enjoy being out in the ocean with him. This was huge for Jaejoong, because he hated the beach and the ocean. It was just not his scene. 

It was almost eight, which he had checked on Yunho’s apple watch, and the sun was setting behind Yunho’s back. Yunho was scintillating. The reddish, dying rays of the sun did something to tan skin, to Yunho’s skin, that took his breath away and left him stunned.

Yunho was a sight.

Currents of electricity ran down Jaejoong’s spine. 

It was as if he had been reborn. He was seeing everything in much better focus, as if his eyes had been washed and he was now seeing things much clearer and that added focus added something majestic to the images. 

Yunho looked better than usual. And that was saying a lot because even when he hated him to death, he could never deny that he was a great looking guy.

Jaejoong felt a bit listless. And so, to avoid his speeding heartbeat, and not from the physically demanding activity that he had been partaking in, he mumbled, “I really hate the ocean.”

Something Yunho knew, because he told him that when he had simply been A.aime. Yunho knew so much about him, it was ridiculous. And he knew so much about Yunho, and that made him a little embarrassed. 

But, at the same time, seeing Yunho as Yunho and not as A.aime, he realized he knew little about him. He had hidden so much about the real him from him. Or he might not have mentioned it in their conversations. He was still getting to know Jung Yunho. The way he smiled when he was excited, or the way his eyes looked when he was nervous, the nervous way he and bit his lips when he was anxious, it all was so foreign and intimate.

 It made it hard to grab his bearings.

Yunho cocked his head and made a humming sound at the back of his throat. It was deep and gravelly. Yunho had such a nice voice, all deep and smooth. It was…

Nope! Can’t think that.

“Is that why it took you so long to learn how to swim?”

Yunho blinked at him, already forgetting what they were talking about.

Yunho smiled kindly at him. “The ocean is not scary.”

And he recalled the topic at discussion.

Jaejoong nodded. “Yes and no.” He shrugged.

He was sitting astride Yunho's surfboard, Yunho was in the water, his left arm folded on the board, his chin resting on top of the arm and his elbow was touching the smooth skin of Jaejoong’s wet inner thigh. Heat flared there. He didn’t dare move. 

Yunho’s hair was longer than he had thought, the water was weighing the strands of his hair down. The tips were an ashy chestnut brown. 

Yunho was blinking salty water out of his eyes, his lashes mingled together only to painfully draw apart. He had outrageously captivating eyelashes. 

“So, what do you think?” His voice sounded deeper than usual, and that was saying a lot. He had the deepest voice Jaejoong had ever heard in person, other than Yunho’s dad. But that was his dad and he was not attracted to the older man. Even the thought made the tips of his ears burn. 

Why was he so weird? Jaejoong wondered, troubled.

Jaejoong in a breath and averted his gaze. “I hate it.”

Yunho laughed, pressing his parted lips against his arm. “It gets better. The ocean is not that bad.”

Heat spiked low in Jaejoong’s abdomen. 

“Yeah, yeah. You said it’s not scary already.”

“It’s not.”

“Cool.” He nodded. “I tried it and I hated it. I do not have to try it again. I think I hate everything water related.”

“Aww. But, true.” He shrugged, grinning with an impish charm. “You did try it once.”

“Try everything at least once, right?”

Yunho carded his long, thin fingers through his hair, pushing his wet fringe back. “But it was not that bad, right?” he asked, sounding hopeful as he lifted his head, water rivulets down his face, neck, and the bit of his chest that was above water. 

in a sharp breath, Jaejoong averted his eyes and awkwardly mumbled, “I think we’ve gone at this for long enough.”

“The sun is setting.” There was an added softennes to his voice.

“Yes, exactly.” He nodded at him, trying to dismount the board. 

Yunho’s long, thin fingers clasped on his knee. His hand was warm and large, like the rest of him.

Electricity currents exploded there and spreader throughout his body.

He shuddered and gasped.

They stared at each other in shock at Jaejoong’s visceral reaction.

Yunho pulled his hand away. “Sorry.” 

He felt his face heating.

“No. You’re good.”

 Yunho casted his eyes down.

Jaejoong felt like he needed to add something to make this better. “You know how I get with touching.”

Yunho frowned and looked at him. “I didn’t know. I thought—”

—your love language was physical touch. You said so yourself, Jaejoong finished the rest of what he thought Yunho would say in his head.

Except, Yunho inhaled, his huge chest inflated and deflated as he said, “Hungry?” He combed his fingers through his wet hair again.

He swallowed, his saliva thick. “Sure.”

“Great. There’s this food truck my friends have been raving about and I’ve been wanting to check out.”

Friends? Jaejoong wondered who those friends were, his spine tingling. 

Was it Nathen and the rest?

Reality fell down on him like bricks then. The muscles in his stomach tightened in anxiety.

Once more, he realized how shameless he was.

As much as he hated Yunho’s friends and blamed him and them, he hated himself for being attracted to Yunho and for allowing him to take him out and flirt with him. He was on a ing “date” with Jung Yunho! 

Him being attracted to Yunho was natural. Yunho was a good looking guy and he was his ing type: tall, handsome, smart, and lowkey ing sweet. However, him giving in to his attraction was not natural or okay. The truth remains that he could not help but feel like what they were doing was wrong because it was taboo. He could not flirt and date his former bully. That was not logical or sane.

No matter how many years have passed or that he has forgiven him, he would forever remain his former bully.

What the hell were they doing?

What was he doing?

“I heard that they sell authentic Mexican food.”

“Yee-pee!” He said, trying to force some pep in his voice.

“You do not sound that excited.”

“Lol,” he said in a deadpan tone.

“I cannot believe you just said lol out loud.” He looked at him in awe, his tawny cheeks rosy and his eyes shimmering as he regarded Jaejoong. His fingertips tingle.

At this rate, he was heading for heart failure. He experienced so many visceral emotions in such a short span of time whenever he was with Yunho.

He shrugged, staring at the surfing board, on the back of his hands.

Yunho laughed. “It’ll be good. Promised.”

Sighing, he replied, “So you said about surfing.”

He chuckled in the cutest manner ever and blinked water out of his eyes.

Jaejoong’s stomach rumbled. He flushed. Yunho laughed and then he laughed. 

Yunho absentmindedly gripped his knee. And tJaejoong remembered why they had even talked about love languages. Yunho had mentioned it first, and his had been quality time and physical touch, and after Yunho had explained how he knew it was correct, Jaejoong had shared his might be the same too, because he loved being with those he loved, his family and friends, and he was a huge hugger and toucher.

Yunho was right about touching. Jaejoong had realized how often he touched him.

Did that mean Yunho was—Nope! Can’t think of that!

Yunho said, “See, you think it does sound good.”

“No,” he denied, shaking his head. “I’m just hungry.”

“Regardless. My treat.”

Jaejoong gasped. “No!”

“It’s decided.” And he slipped into the water to his chin, Yunhoo looked him square in the eyes and smiled

“That’s weird.”

“You don’t let your friends treat you?” He asked, tugging Jaejoong and the surfboard towards the shore. 

He was flabbergasted. “I—”

“Good. Don’t make this weird.”

“‘Me?” He flushed.

And as if the universe hated him, his stomach rumbled again. 

“It’ll be good,” he said, throwing him a cheeky grin over one broad shoulder. 

—------------

Jaejoong felt drunk.

He hadn’t had even a tiny sip of alcohol. But sitting in Yunho’s car, Korean folk music blasting, the A/C cranked to the highest temperature, eating enchiladas and tostadas, and sipping on water they had bought from the nearest 7/11 felt surreal, his day looped over and over in his head. 

Not only had Yunho paid for his food, he had ended up choosing his dishes for him, because he was indecisive and everything looked so good. Honestly, Yunho had just said he would have the two choices he couldn’t decide between. Not only that, he had also opened the door to his car for him because his hands were busy trying to hold on to all his food and the agua fresca he had chugged down in less than two minutes after getting in the car. Yunho decided it was too hot to eat outside. Jaejoong hadn’t complained. 

There they sat in his car, the smell of the food overpowering his air freshener, silently eating. 

The food was good, though. 

At one point they made eye contact. Yunho blushed and smiled at him. 

Yunho's blushing made him blush and he had to look away.

It all felt so juvenile, so comedy-romance movie/novel-esque, he felt stupid at growing hot at his ears and nape.

It was obvious. This was not a normal friend hangout. He might be a romance and relationship newbie, but he could tell Yunho was interested in him and he was not hiding his affection. 

Now, if Yunho had been anymore but the Jung Yunho, this would make sense and be fine. A.aime had made it clear he was into him. He had also told A.aime he found his personality attractive and they had so much in common and loved talking to him. He had also, basically confessed he returned his affection. But this was Jung Yunhi. Not a cute random cute guy he met at university.

They could never be more than non-enemies and non-strangers.

And he knew what he was doing right now, hanging out with Yunho, letting him, basically, court him, was him playing with fire and he would get burned. For sure.

This was turning out to be a confusing summer.

“I’ve been thinking,” Jaejoong said wistfully, playing with his food.

Yunho nodded, reaching for his large water bottle to take a swing.

“When we used to talk—when you were A.aime–I mean.”

Yunho nodded and grinned. 

His brain melted and muttered some nonsense: “Well, you never said you were a bodybuilder.”

“What?” He laughed.

“No. I mean, you look great.”

Yunho blushed and dropped his face, looking humble.

He cleared his throat. “I did say I did sport and worked out five days a week.”

“That’s a job. Full time.”

He shrugged. “I like doing it and I enjoy looking like this. Do I sound shallow?” he asked, looking concerned.

Jaejoong laughed. “Nah. I get it. I mean,” he shrugged, “I want to look like that, too.” He sighed and looked outside and muttered thoughtlessly. “I want to be huge.”

“You think I am huge?”

And a sneaky text line flooded back: I like thick men.

!

“Yeah, I mean. You know. Because you work out.” And he shoved food in his mouth to not have to answer any questions. But Yunho didn’t ask him anything. He simply sipped his drink.

“Well,” Yunho added after a few seconds of silence. “I go to the gym. Here, I mean. You can join if you want to.” He shrugged and smiled at Jaejoong. “I’d enjoy the company.”

Jaejoong grinned at him with his mouth closed, his cheeks round like a squirrel. He was glad for the food in his mouth. He decided to ignore that request.

They went back to eating in silence.

“Hey, I…” Yunho broke the silence again. “What do you want to ask? For real.”

“Huh?”

“I can tell you didn’t want to know of my gym routine.”

Jaejoong snorted. “You didn’t tell me how much you benched.”

He smiled, too. His eyes were super kind when he said, “You don’t have to hold back. I don’t want you to. Let’s be frank with each other.”

He was so perceptive. Anothering Jaejoong would have never known if he hadn’t met Yunho face-to-face.

Inhaling through his nose, he swallowed and said with the last bit of courage he had, “Have you ever thought about how...How weird this all is?”

“What is?” he arched an eyebrow, looking genuinely perplexed. His Adam apple bobbed rhythmically as he swallowed and it was mesmerizing. Everything Yunho did was entrancing—at least to Jaejoong, and that was a huge problem. 

He shrugged, looking away, just as Yunho returned the shrug, still looking very confused.

Analyzing his food, he wondered how he should word his thoughts. Finally, Jaejoong said, “Us. You and me. Being here. Eating tacos from a food truck. Listening to folk music.”

You flirting with me. Me liking it. You asking me on a date. Me saying yes to it. You asking me to continue hanging out with you. Me really liking it. You acting all chalvirous and me enjoying the hell out of it. You looking so freaking hot, and me finding you hot!

Yunho shrugged and looked away, blushing. He did that a lot and Jaejoong kind of liked it. The way his large shoulders rolled up and down. 

He was resigned to the fact that he kind of liked a lot of things about Jung Yunho.

“I don’t find it weird.”

“You don’t?”

He took another swing of his water, and , , and bit his bottom lip in a slow, luxurious manner that told Jaejoong he was stalling because he was nervous, and Jaejoong needed to look away. His throat dried up. 

Yunho gave him a non-verbal response: he shrugged. 

“Really?” He pressed.

“No.” He finally looked over at him. He looked earnestly at Jaejoong. 

“Given our past, back in high school, do you ever think we would see a sunset together?”

That gave him pause. Yunho flinched, startled. He slowly shook his head. Jaejoong saw the way he rubbed his nape, as if it was burning.    

Wiping those plush lips of his in a white paper napkin, he said, “No, but...things have changed.” He wiped his fingers in the same napkin. 

Swallowing nervously, his spit turning thick, Jaejoong fixed his gaze on his food. 

“Hey, I’ve always wanted to ask, what did you think when you put one and two together and realized it was me you were talking to?”

Yunho laughed. Jaejoong still didn’t dare to look at him. 

“Being honest.”

“Please.”

Jaejoong saw Yunho gripping his water bottle so tightly that his knuckles turned white. 

“I was petrified. Just…scared.”

Jaejoong nodded. “Yeah.”

“Still, I’m glad that I didn’t run away. I wanted to.”

 He frowned into his lap. “Glad? Why?”

Yunho started studying his knobbly fingers. “Because—” He paused and stalled: the tip of his pink tongue sneaked out and wet his top lip and he bit it. 

After what felt like an eternity of Jaejoong listening to his thundering heartbeat, Yunho finally started talking. “Because you know the real me. I said—shared so much with you because I thought you were a stranger. An anonymous, faceless stranger who was living the same life as me, but couldn’t put faces to the people I talked about and the locations of where I had fundamental personal experiences.” His voice got deeper as he talked. “And when I realized you were who you are, I…” He shrugged and hit his lip. Their eyes met. Yunho looked away first.

Jaejoong’s fingers tingle with memories of late night text-scapades: A.aime sharing his deepest, darkest thoughts with Jaejoong and secrets never shared with another soul. 

He also vividly remembered Yunho discussing how much he hated who he was in high school. How he felt tethered to friends he felt he had outgrown, but due to social pressure he couldn’t move on from. He was a sheep, and he hated that he went along with the stronger, popular crowd because he wanted to fit in and not be left behind. He was weak, and he was embarrassed of that version of himself. 

Sharing this with someone and finding out they're the person you and your friend used to bully in high school would have scared anyone, Jaejoong thought. 

Inhaling deeply through his nose, he said tenderly to Yunho, “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

Yunho nodded. With his voice tender, laced with emotions Jaejoong couldn’t decipher, he said, “I’m glad it turned out to be you, though.”

Jaejoong gasped audibly. He lit up like a Christmas tree. He shoved his hands under his thighs when he realized they were quivering. 

“Why?” He asked, coughing. 

“I—” His gaze was hot on Jaejoong’s side profile. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

He nodded silently. “I do know I appreciate the grace you’ve given me.”

Jaejoong chuckled. “I’m just not vindictive.”

Yunho met his eyes and he smiled. “That’s an amazing trait to have.”

“Right.” He snorted, and then he said cheerfully, “The great, giving, and mature Kim Jaejoong.”

Yunho laughed. “You are great.”

Jaejoong coughed and joked, “Stop flirting with me.” Bad joke. Yunho turned bright red.

“I was joking,” Jaejoong quickly offered.

Yunh nodded, reaching for his drink. “I’d understand if you hated me and never wanted to see me again.”

“Good, because at first, I wanted to kill you.”

He said in a level tone, “Understandable.” And he took a light sip from his water bottle.

“I still kind of want to.”

“I would not fault you.” He smiled.

Jaejoong rolled his eyes, but chuckled against his will.

“I expected you to hate me and not want to talk to me, but I knew I had to talk  to you.”

“Why?”

“I felt like I would be a coward if I hadn’t approached you. I would be the same guy I told you I wanted to distance myself from.”

Jaejoong silently nodded.

“I wanted to be held accountable, and, honestly, I wanted to apologize to you. I’ve always wanted to.”

That was huge. Jaejoong sat there in a stunned silence, because he realized, all this time, he had been upset that Yunho was A.aime. Whenever he apologized, he had always assumed it was because he had killed A.aime and it was never because of their shared history.

“Ooh.” Was all Jaejoong could utter.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop apologizing for high school.”

“To be fair, Yunho, you weren’t the person dishing out the torture.”

He peered at Jaejoong, silent, before he said, “I stood there and did nothing.”

Jaejoong scowled. “You did.”

“Nothing. That was me still suppor—”

He shook his head. “No, Yunho. I mean, you did. I know it was you who reported him and opened the gym door.”

Yunho’s open mouth closed and he blinked at him. “Ooh.”

There was a moment of silence before Jaejoong said. “We were all going through it in high school.”

Yunho laughed, placed his elbow on the steering wheel, and raked his fingers through his fringe. “I…You’re amazing.” His eyes were fervid on Jaejoong's visage.

His chest grew warm.

“I didn’t say I’ve forgiven you for standing by him,” he muttered softly.

Yunho nodded obediently. “Me too,” he muttered, sounding tortured