Daydream / Delusion Tour - Manila

The dome was eerily silent save for the voices singing in unison. The lights from the thousands of lightsticks and the earnest voices from the Uaenas squeezed her heart.

She must have done something right for these many people to show so much love towards her, singing words that most of them probably don’t understand. 

“Ahh…gomawo..” her voice echoed after the song ended. She couldn’t help but show her emotions through her voice.

Seeing the crowd so receptive and expectant of every song, it made her grateful that she’s come full circle. A year ago, doing a world tour, much less a concert seemed almost impossible with all the internal troubles she had to face. 

“Now, it’s the last song..”

“No…” the crowd responded, disappointment obvious from their collective voice.

When someone yelled, “gajimayo!!!”, she chuckled and said she’d love to stay more too but the production company only rented the dome for two hours. The crowd loved her humor.

After some more banter with the crowd, she took a spot in the middle of the stage. A staff member handed her a guitar and immediately, the crowd knew. Whistles and excited murmurs were heard but the dome was silent when she started playing the intro to Letters to Myself.

Each time she would sing this song, she gets completely absorbed and she forgets that a crowd of thousands is there with her, listening. The words reminded her of the pains of having loved and lost, but the song ends with a hopeful and grateful note.

When she opened her eyes after the last note, she was awestruck. The soft glow of the lightsticks illuminated the slightly dim concert dome, and banners with “Through every spring and winter, always with Jieun” greeted her. 

She was speechless and her eyes started getting moist.

The tears started falling when the crowd started singing the song back to her, in acapella.

“Y-you guys, I hate you for making me cry.” 

The crowd gave a collective “awww”. 

“Saranghae, you remind me why I am still in this business. I hope to give you more joy through my music in the future. Let’s be together for a long time.” 

She gave a deep bow for a few minutes and the crowd reciprocated by giving her a standing ovation. The Manila leg proved to be one of the most memorable stops in Southeast Asia for Jieun. 

A few days after, she went home to rest before starting the European leg of her tour. Taking advantage of her time at home, she spent time relaxing with family, meeting friends and going to a face to face session with Dr. Yoo. In their own way, they’ve become friends, but he’s also still her therapist. 

She brought with her some souvenirs and delicacies from the countries she visited so far.

“Wah, this is a lot..” Dr. Yoo remarked in amazement, looking a little flustered. It was the first time she gave him something. “But, thank you. You seem to enjoy touring so far.”

She made herself comfortable on the chair opposite Dr. Yoo, feeling at home in a familiar setting. 

“Yeah. It’s surreal sometimes…” 

Dr. Yoo didn’t say anything but his smile got bigger.

“And I missed doing face to face sessions with you.”

“Honestly, I think you’re doing great, Jieun. And you’ve been so good at journaling and communicating…sometimes it feels like you’ll be fine without our sessions.”

She made a face, “Why, are you sick of talking to me?” she joked.

Dr. Yoo gave out a hearty laugh. “No. I’m just really proud of the progress you’ve made. But you are very welcome here anytime. You know that.” 

Jieun took that as encouragement for her to talk about the past weeks. 

“So..you know that I’m going to have a vacation in Corfu in a month and a half, and I’m so excited. So excited that I even tried driving again..”

Dr. Yoo’s eyes grew wide. He knew that she had stopped driving since that accident with Joongi.

“Jieun, that’s huge!” 

She beamed. “Yes, that’s why I kept it until today. I wanted to tell you in person. I haven’t tried driving a car again, but I did try a motorcycle. I think it’ll be perfect for Corfu. I want to explore the places on my own, like an adventure, without relying on someone driving for me. And honestly, I am so, so excited.” 

“Yah, I can’t even describe how proud I am.”

She found it funny because the Doctor looked so impressed. As the session wore on, she continued talking about some issues she still has with anxiety, especially with her mom always reminding her to “have a family of her own” sooner rather than later.

“I feel bad for them because I’m not sure there’ll ever be that for me.” 

Jieun lowered her gaze, focusing them on her hands.

“You don’t know that for sure. Besides, you have the rest of the tour and an exciting vacation ahead of you. There’s so many things to look forward to.” 

When she looked at Dr. Yoo he had an earnest smile on his face, as if telling her that the worst is over and things can only get better. 

Maybe they will.

The session flew by and Jieun didn’t even notice. 

“Wow, it’s been so nice not talking to you through a screen. I’ll get going now.” She rose from her seat and bowed, saying her goodbyes. 

“Will you be driving home?”  Dr. Yoo asked.

“Uh…no. I’ve tried driving but I’m not really that confident driving again in the city. Maybe next time.”

She then proceeded to tell the Doctor that she’s going to take a cab home since Hanteo is on vacation. 

“Oh, in that case, I can drop you off. I’m meeting someone outside and I’m passing by your neighborhood.”

“Really? That’ll be nice.”

After giving instructions to her receptionist, Dr. Yoo led the way to his car which was parked in the adjacent parking lot. The weather has gotten a lot warmer and Jieun thought of going to an outdoor picnic with Yerin and her parents soon.

As they drove through the stress of Gangnam, she realized that it’s her first time riding Dr. Yoo’s car. The interior was classy and neat, as expected. 

“Oh, you can drop me off here, Doctor.” She said, pointing to the cafe a few blocks away from her parents’ house. Dr. Yoo insisted on driving her to her parents’ directly, since he already knows where it is and she let him. 

She heard the Doctor chuckle softly and it made her look at him.

He caught her quizzical expression and answered, “It’s just weird hearing someone call me Dr. Yoo all the time. Even when I'm driving. I wish you can just call me Teo oppa, like Inna. But I know it could feel uncomfortable for you…sorry I just find it funny.”

For some weird reason, Jieun felt her cheeks get warm. The idea of calling Dr. Yoo, “oppa”, the same person who knows her deepest, darkest thoughts, is something she never considered.

“Hehe, I can imagine. It’s like hearing a family member call you doctor, right?”

Dr. Yoo nodded at her, smiling. 

Like clockwork, probably alerted by the sound of the approaching vehicle, Mina was already waiting for her outside, excitedly peeking at whoever she was with.

“Annyeong!” Mina greeted warmly, specifically directed towards the handsome doctor. “Jieun, why don’t you invite your friend inside?” 

“Eomma, he’s my therapist…remember?” 

Recognition dawned on Mina’s face. Dr. Yoo also mentioned he was here when they gave Jieun a post-birthday surprise. 

“Oh…the handsome doctor. Yes, yes, I remember. Hehe. If I could, I would set you up with my own daughter but I know she’s your client and you probably have a girlfriend.”

Jieun cringed when her mother unabashedly suggested setting the two of them up. 

Dr. Yoo’s face turned pink, and he was clearly flustered, unable to respond to Mina’s suggestions. He still handled it pretty well, and soon said goodbye to both of them. 

When they were walking back to the house, her mother asked her if the doctor was single.

“Eomma, why would I know that??”

“Why are you getting angry, I was just asking. If he’s single, I bet mothers all over Gangnam are at his doorstep, setting up blind dates with him and their daughters.”

Jieun shook her head in disbelief. 

Why would her mother even think of her therapist like that?