There was a heavy thumping in her chest as she walked towards the driveway where her car was parked. The area had minimal lighting, but once her eyes adjusted, she can clearly see Joongi..and the scowl that was written all over his face.

“Get in.” He said curtly before closing the door at the driver’s side.

Jieun took a deep breath, steadying her emotions before getting in. For some reason she had these contradicting emotions: guilt because she didn’t do as they agreed; and rising anger – because she knew deep inside that she did nothing wrong.

The seconds ticked, and the air felt almost solid inside the car, as both of them sat in their seats, feeling each other out.

She saw Joongi’s tight grip on the steering wheel and she knew she’s in trouble.

“Babe..” She initiated, sounding apologetic.

Joongi turned to look at her sharply, the vein on his temple visibly ticking. She couldn’t continue what she wanted to say because he abruptly sped off.

The streets were mostly empty, as it was almost 3am, but his rough driving scared her.

“Slow down!”

All she got was a chuckle, and a smirk. Just then, she realized that he’s had a few drinks himself. She didn’t notice it at first because she thought that the faint smell of alcohol came from her, but his loose demeanor gave him away. He’s usually stoic when he’s angry, but this time, he was drawling, telling her how he’s so disappointed in her.

“Babe, you’re drunk, slow down!” She repeated, this time with more force.

“No. You are in no position to tell me what to do. You don’t even listen to me. We agreed, Jieun.”

Her heart leaped when the car almost hit the island when he turned to look at her squarely. Luckily he was able to maneuver the car just in time.

“Calm down, babe…we’re going to get into an accident at this rate!”

“Ha! And who’s fault will that be?”

“Don’t be childish. I didn’t do anything wrong, you know that!”

She couldn’t control her tone anymore. It’s tiring to always try and please him..and “always” meant ALL THE TIME. His word is law, and she’s not even allowed to make her own decisions.

Why does she always have to be the bad guy?

Joongi kept driving erratically. She held out her hand and tentatively touched his forearm, but he forcefully  jerked it away.

“What’s funny is that I was considering proposing to you…” He let out a hollow laugh before continuing,”And here you are..being such a , drinking with those guys. I told you I didn’t like it, but you still went. Are you really this selfish?”

Her mind went blank. Not sure if it was from his rough language, or the fact that he’s basically telling her she’s not good enough to be anyone’s future wife.

“Let me out.” She finally managed to say. She breathed through her nose, trying to calm herself down.

“I’m not done talking!” He shouted, slurring a little.

“No.. Let me out!”

Instead of slowing down to let her out, Joongi stepped on the pedal in an even more dangerous speed. She shrieked when he did this, feeling scared.

“You’re not going anywhere. We’re not done talking.”

His tone was stone cold, and it sent a shiver down her spine.

“Let’s talk when we’re both calm. Come on, just let me out.”

“Why did you have to do this, Jieun?”

“I just wanted to spend time with friends, that’s all.”

“You seem to forget everything, don’t you?” He was smiling then, but not in a comforting way. ”No wonder you had that scandal, huh? You just love going out, getting drunk with guys. Remember how you begged me, babe? I didn’t want anything to do with you. But you wanted to get back together after that embarrassing photo of you leaked. And now you’re making me the bad guy here?”

He stepped on the pedal and whizzed past a few cars. She had to steady herself by gripping the sides of her seat. Somehow she was glad that she had to focus on steadying herself because it took her attention away from Joongi’s hurtful words. Regardless, tears started streaming down her face as Joongi continued to remind her of how pathetic she’s been all this time.

“Pleaase, j-just let me out..” she said weakly, sobbing.

“I loved you. I gave you a chance, and you’re blowing it for what?”

Jieun eyed Joongi. It didn’t seem like he was going to calm down and she was starting to get scared as the car zoomed past the streetlights and the scant number of cars.

She was so scared she almost missed what he just said.

Almost.

He said he “loved” her. Just one misunderstanding made him come to this conclusion. She went through everything they went through and she realized he probably never really loved her. Or maybe she wasn’t worthy enough to receive it, because time and time again, he reminds her that she falls short.

She looked at him and the momentary glance he gave her showed his fury.

Maybe she was wrong about him all along. Or maybe something about her changed him. Or maybe she was just blind. Maybe this is really how he is?

But why does her heart feel like it’s shattering into a million little pieces?

Even as the car sped through the streets, as Joongi shouted angrily about her selfishness, a part of her mourned about not being enough for him. That somehow she needs to be someone better for him to actually love her.

Just as her shoulders started shaking from the sobs that she could no longer keep at bay, a blinding light assaulted her vision.

A car was about to turn left, towards the main street they were on, but the driver probably missed them since Joongi was driving too fast. The tires screeched as Joongi forcefully swerved away from the incoming car’s path, his loud, angry voice shouting expletives that filled the air.

“Joongi!!!”

The last thing she heard was a loud crash and the impact of the seatbelt against her body, holding and keeping her away from the dash as the car felt the impact of the crash.

Joongi’s yelp of pain was the last thing she heard before her sight went dim.

When she opened her eyes, it took a while for her foggy head to realize where she was. The floral wallpaper pattern. The heavy, wooden dresser where she used to hide whenever they would play hide and seek as kids.

She was in Inna’s bedroom.

“Jieun-ah!!!”

Inna’s worried face came into her line of vision, peering at her. She tried to sit up but every muscle in her body ached.

“Aish, just keep resting.” Inna scolded, but that look of concern never left.

She glanced at her body and saw her bandaged arm and the bruises on her legs. Her last memory was being in a car and fighting with Joongi, as they zipped through the streets. There was an unsettling feeling in her stomach when she remembered how dangerously fast he was driving..and her thoughts couldn’t help but think of the worst.

She took one more look at her own state, and dread started filling her heart.

“No…” She mumbled.

It can’t be.

“W-where’s Joongi?” She managed to ask.

“Jieun…”

Inna’s lips were pursed, as if she’s scared of what she’s going to say.

“Just tell me!”

Inna still wouldn’t talk. What she got was a tight squeeze on her shoulder.

“Just tell me that he’s okay…if not..”

She started sobbing. It was all her fault. If she just stayed home, if she just followed what Joongi wanted, everything would be fine.

“He’s fine, Jieun.”

Inna’s words should’ve comforted her. At least he’s okay. But why does her friend look even more worried?

It would only make sense the day after, when she started sending Joongi messages, which he ignored. Calls were left unanswered. It was like he didn’t exist…or maybe she was