Jieun can tell that Mina’s been looking at her stealthily, probably wishing she wouldn’t notice. She smiled a little as she continued to stuff the duffel bag with some of the stuff she’s brought home since she moved back in. 

“Hanteo will pick you up?” Mina asked from her corner of the bed where she was sitting.

“Yup. He’ll be here in 30 minutes.” She paused, pressing the clothes to make them fit inside the already crowded bag. “Eomma, do you have another bag?”

As she oriented her gaze to her mother, she noticed the loaded look in her eyes. She was worried and she can’t blame her. It’s her 33rd day of being relatively fine. 

Yes, she’s been counting the days, and journaling heavily too. She initially considered using her blog as her outlet, just as her therapist told her, but remembered that Jihoon knows about it. Not that he would care about what she writes over there (he made it clear the last time they spoke that he has no wish to be in her life again), she just didn’t want to filter her thoughts, thinking that the remote possibility of him reading it would make her choose her words. 

“I’ll be fine, eomma. I promise.” 

This time Mina clearly showed her concern. 

“How about your therapy, do you promise you’ll keep going?”

She nodded and smiled warmly at Mina. They were soon interrupted by the sound of the door being opened by Jinwoo. 

“You’re really going back to your house?”

“Yes, appa.” She sighed. “I know you two are worried I might stop eating again, but I promise I’ll be fine. As long as eomma sends me my favorite side dishes.” She said, flashing a pleading smile towards Mina.

She tried to make the conversation sound lighthearted, but the obvious crease between Jinwoo’s eyebrows did not disappear. Between her parents, her appa was the more emotional one when he got home from a business trip and found her looking dehydrated and frail. It didn’t help that her meltdown came without precedent. His initial reaction was to call Jihoon and ask for an explanation, but she was quick to correct him. It’s not Jihoon’s fault - entirely.

It is true that his coldness and sudden desire to break-up came as a shock that it was hard for her to cope, but there were underlying factors that have surfaced since early this year and it all came to a head when Jihoon broke up with her.

Inna was the first one to suggest that she go to a therapist. She’s been saying that even before, after the Joongi debacle, but she was adamant. She forced herself to cope with it by burying herself in work and being careful about the people she trusts. It seemed to work perfectly well.

Well, until it didn’t.

Her problems with Jihoon forced her to confront the things she’s swept under the rug for years. 

But now she’s facing them head on. 

“If you need me to warn Jihoon to never show his face again near you, I will, you know that, honey.” Jinwoo insisted.

Despite Jieun’s repeated clarifications, Jinwoo still seemed bent to hate on Jihoon. Whenever his name is mentioned, a cloud comes over his face and it hurts Jieun whenever that happens because her appa and Jihoon became really close during the course of their relationship.

“No need, appa. And I told you, it’s not his fault.”

Jinwoo made a face and waved his hand at her dismissively before leaving her room, frustrated.

“Why do you keep clearing Jihoon’s name, Jieun? What exactly happened between the two of you?” Mina inquired.

Jieun took her time in zipping the bag, as she measured her words. 

“Well…same as the things that happen to most couples, eomma. We just came to a point where it was harder to stay together. So we didn’t anymore.”

Wow, that almost sounded convincing. It’s not as if she’s no longer dreaming about Jihoon every night.

She heard Mina sigh deeply, and it was enough for her to know that her mother didn’t believe a word. 

“Once you’re done, come help me pick out the side dishes you want so I can set them aside for you.”

Jieun nodded and soon she was left alone inside her room.
 

Her eyes scanned her now empty looking bedroom. Gone were the posters and Cloud merch she’s treasured all her life. She didn’t throw them away because she acknowledged that being a fangirl in her teens was a huge coming-of-age chunk of her life, but sh