“Mwo?? I can’t hear properly.”

Jihoon smirked at Si Eon with whom he was having a  videocall with . He explained for the nth time that he can’t raise his voice because Jieun was just in the other room, and she might overhear their conversation. A few moments earlier, he thought he was going to have a heart attack when Jieun suddenly walked in, wanting to check out the food.

Si Eon rolled his eyes at him, laughing at his nerves.

“Don’t stress too much..you’ve been planning this for weeks already. It’s a little ridiculous, involving the dogs and all, but I think Jieun will really like it.”

“Thanks, man.” He puffed his cheeks and let out a deep breath.”I have to go now..please pray for me!”

Si Eon promised that he will, laughing hard before ending the call.

The day has been hectic for Jihoon. When he woke up, he felt a strange ball of nerves sitting at the pit of his stomach – a mixture of anxiety and excitement. Being the methodical person that he iis, he ticked off his list of the to-do’s before picking up Jieun from LOEN.

Flowers – check.

Groceries – check.

The photos – check.

Engagement ring – check.

It actually felt good checking all these things off of his list because it took his mind away from the reality that he’s going to ask Jieun to be his wife in a few hours. It made him antsy to the point of not being able to sit still.

When the timer sounded off, it reminded him to check the ribs inside the oven. It was perfect.

He took a steadying breath before calling out to Jieun.

Here goes nothing.

The dinner went as planned. When it was time to stage his surprise, the sound of his heart pounding filled his ears. He felt a little unsure if Jieun would find it funny and sweet – but when he turned the lamp on, showing himself in full Love Song costume, it all felt worth it. The look on Jieun’s face tugged at his heart.

Even more so when her eyes started looking somber and moist as she looked at their photos.

“Oppa..”

He closed the gap between them, taking both of her hands and enclosing them in his.

“It’s our photos; my favorite ones so far..I want you to have it, jagi. To remind you how you have a home with me, whenever you feel scared or unsure of things. I don’t precisely know what has been going through your mind lately, but please know that you’ll always have me.”

Jieun stared at him, her eyes looking round and somber. It made him come closer to wrap her in a tight hug.

When he pulled away, he saw Jieun looking for the other package, which he was already holding. Jieun’s mouth gaped when she realized that the tiny package was already in his hand – and her eyes grew even wider when he kneeled down, smiling like a lovesick idiot.  

 “Oppa..” She said, the words slow, as if she couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Jagi, I want to keep making memories with you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”

He saw both of her hands cover , the surprise on her face growing by the second.

“Oppa…”

He was chuckling because of her reaction. But a few moments later, when she still hasn’t said anything, worry started creeping in.

She didn’t exactly jump up and down in joy and say yes…so does this mean she’s rejecting him?

“Jagi?” He swallowed, the jubilant look on his face slowly disappearing as he peeked at her bowed head.

“I want to say yes, believe me but..I-I…need time to process this.”

Silence.

Jihoon stood up and nervously bit at his lower lip. He paced a little, feeling as if he was inside a bad dream. He wanted to keep looking at Jieun, to see how she’s feeling and guess what she’s thinking about, but he just can’t do it. He’s too scared.

With his hands planted firmly on both sides of his waist, his foot was tapping a nervous beat on the floor and he didn’t even notice it.

The silence stretched.

 Jieun’s gaze was fixed on the floor, but she was the first one to break the deafening quiet.

“I love you, oppa. You know that more than anyone…but right now, I don’t know if marriage is something I’m ready for. Or will ever be ready for.”

“Jagi…” He closed down the gap between them and grabbed her hands, squeezing them both tightly. “Can you tell me why? I promise I’ll be a good husband. Tell me what I need to do to make you feel better about this….because.” He paused, his voice breaking a little, as the unforeseen situation started to sink in.

Maybe it wasn’t unforeseen, but it still caught him off guard. He did expect Jieun to have worries given her strange mood swings lately, but this was something entirely different. She didn’t even seem sure if she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life.

Jieun, finally raising her head to meet his gaze, continued, “Tell me oppa, if we do get married soon, how do you picture us together? Be honest.”

He nodded, letting Jieun continue.

“Do you want us to have kids soon? Of course that would mean taking time off to focus on family…which is entirely reasonable.”

Jihoon nodded again. It is his wish to build a big family with Jieun and if it meant taking a step back from his career, he’s more than ready to do it.

“What if I tell you I’m not even sure if I want kids? Or that there are things about myself that I need