Russian | noun

♦ a sunny day when icicles start melting and water drops down; the beginning of spring; drip; the sound of the first melting ice

 

---

 

The 'soon' of Taehyung's departure that both him and Jeongguk are dreading catches them off-guard, and with the might of a deafening BANG!

Taehyung is making his way through the aisles of his favourite supermarket in Haneul, minding his own sweet business as he has a look at the different hair colours available, when there is a tell-tale gasp behind him. Everything inside of him goes rigid. He knows that sound. That disbelieving shock coupled with giddy delight. He also knows what will come next without a doubt. Next to him, Jeongguk is already giving him a concerned look as he takes in the tension clinging to his body, no doubt.

"TAEHYUNG-OPPA?!"

The girly screech is obnoxious, and way too loud, especially with how close the fan stands. Too close. If Taehyung turns around now, he'll bump noses with her - or her phone - for sure. He quickly calculates what to do next. Slips the mask of an easy-going smile back into place, knowing the fan will be able to tell whether or not he's looking amicable even with his face mask on. Takes a step to the side - closer towards Jeongguk and away from the fan, and only then turns around.

"Can I help you?"

He hopes, prays, that his voice comes out muffled enough to not be recognisable all too well. His unique voice has always been his strong point when marketing it off as an idol, and his downfall when he wants to go unnoticed by people for once. Because by now, it's too well-known. Devoted fans - and haters - are familiar with every cadence of his voice, are able to easily pick it out amongst others with their eyes closed. So really, it shouldn't come as surprise when the teenager in front of him is not the least bit deterred. It was worth a try, though.

"You are Kim Taehyung-oppa, the idol, ohmygosh, I'm your biggest fan," she gushes while fiddling with her phone - and processing to shove it straight into his face.

Taehyung flinches away from the camera, tries to turn his head and obscure the view. A strong arm wraps around him and pulls him even further down the aisle swiftly.

The girl follows them with no remorse, phone still lifted high.

"...It's such an honour to meet you in person, can I get your autograph? I have a tattoo from your last comeback on my wrist, look, oppa! I love you! When will be the next comeback? Also, is it true you fired your manager? Is that man your new manager? Taehyung-oppa, not so fast, please, your legs are longer than mine..."

She doesn't stop. Not when Taehyung is paying at the cashier, not when he leaves the building, not when he crosses the street. Irritation spreads through him. As an idol, he can't allow himself to speak harsh words to his fans. It'll get back at him, get blown out of proportion by the media, and end with him sold off as an abusive who does not deserve to perform anywhere.

So he keeps smiling politely and humming along to whatever that girl is rambling, hoping that at some point she will either grow bored or notice his uncomfortable body language. Caves and gives her an autograph after she's followed him down two more streets.

Jeongguk, however. He has no such remorse. And when the girl touches Taehyung's arm to pull him close for a selca together, the mer bodily shoves himself between the two.

"Ever heard of personal space?," he snaps. Shoves Taehyung behind himself until he can't see the girl any longer.

Taehyung takes a deep breath. Allows himself to slump against Jeongguk's back just the slightest bit, not daring to do anything more. He hasn't discussed with Jeongguk what it would mean if they ever went official. Doubts the mer would like all the publicity. And right now, one affectionate touch might be enough for the fan in front of them to cook together an entire dating scandal herself.

The girl tries to walk around Jeongguk a couple of times, only to get pushed off.

"Stop making him uncomfortable, right now. I won't ask this nicely again."

She lifts her phone to take some more pictures of Taehyung over Jeongguk's shoulders. The mer snatches it out of the air and holds it up too high for her to reach. "Leave. Now."

"Ooooooh, I get it. You are his bodyguard, right? Is oppa here undercover for an MV shoot? Where is the filming location?"

Jeongguk snarls.

And finally, finally the girl shuts up. Is probably pouting or trying to pull out all her charms before caving for good.

"Fine," she huffs. "My phone, please."

The mer keeps it high above her head for a tense second, then gives the device back. And all but picks up Taehyung to stomp through Haneul at high speed.

 

Two hours later, #TaehyungIsBack is trending on social media. Pictures of him in the grocery store are flooding Twitter, Instagram, Amino and whatever else, together with fan theories, questions where the pictures are from, and tags of Haneul and the east coast. He'll give it one more day before people will start arriving here with the single purpose of seeing him.

Taehyung buries his face further into the pillow at the mere thought of it, and groans.

The calm days are officially over.

Jeongguk has been running soothing hands all over him for the past half hour.

"I need to leave tonight," is what Taehyung decides to break the sombre silence with. No room for argument, or doubt. If he wants to have a chance of getting away without cars trailing after him for hours, he has to start packing now.

The mer's hand freezes. Curls, nails slightly digging into Taehyung's skin through the sweater he's wearing.

"...And what then?"

His voice is quiet, fragile. Like glass that's about to break. A flimsy, delicate sculpture standing on the edge of a pedestal, and the slightest tremor would be enough to have it topple over.

Taehyung flops onto his back and grapples for Jeongguk. Pulls, until he falls down, face pressed into Taehyung's chest. Taehyung cradles his head against him, one hand burying itself in Jeongguk's pretty, short hair.

"I'll have to leave for a while," he admits. "I won't be able to get back here before the album is finished, and all the promotions for the comeback have died down. I can't possibly take you with me to Seoul."

"Why not?" The questions sounds hurt, and Taehyung hates it. "Don't you want me to be with you any more?"

"Wha-" Taehyung chokes. "What- no, nonono, of course I want you with me! Why would you ever- how could you even think I wouldn't- Gguk! Babe, look at me."

Jeongguk doesn't.

It breaks Taehyung's heart.

He is growing frantic, hands fumbling all over the mer as he tries to explain himself.

"Jeonggukkie. I want you with me at all times! But Seoul isn't like Haneul, it is a giant city, with millions of humans living there. It's a cold and rude place to be, you would hate it there. And it's far away from your home, your sea. Insisting for you to come along would be cruel of me."

"You could never be cruel to me," the mer says with enough conviction to move mountains.

Taehyung wants to cry.

"I could, if I made you go with me. I doubt you'd be happy in Seoul. And I couldn't even comfort you, because my schedule is going to be so busy there will be nights when I don't come home at all. I don't want you to suffer because of me selfishly wanting you close-by."

"It's not selfish when I want the same thing."

But Taehyung shakes his head. Tries to swallow the lump in his throat, and fails.

"Gguk. No. I really can't."

The mer is quiet for a long while. And when he speaks up, Taehyung almost misses it, with how weak his voice comes out.

"...But you will come back?"

The desperation that's been crawling up Taehyung's chest turns into something searing hot, just like that.

"Yah, Jeongguk, you idiot!" Already, his fists are raining down on the mer's chest with vigour. "If you doubt me for just one second, I'll come back and kick your immediately! As if I'd just run off and never turn back again, you big fat moron! I left Nakseongdae for you and stayed in the middle of the sea with you for days, yet you dare doubt my conviction? I don't even know what to say!"

Only part of his little fit is played. He really is hurt a bit that Jeongguk would think he could leave him behind that easily. But at least, his mini tantrum helps to calm down the mer. As Jeongguk busies himself with trying to catch Taehyung's wrists while making shushing noises, the mer can't possibly stay upset himself. It's a psychological trick Taehyung learnt years ago from Hoseok. If someone is getting emotional, nervous and panicky, it can help if someone else they care about gets even more nervous so they have to focus on calming down the other and by proxy, themselves. He didn't test the theory often yet, but is glad it seems to work with Jeongguk.

Taehyung stops struggling eventually, breath evening out. 

"I'll always come back to you, Gguk," he says. And this time, Jeongguk is looking him straight in the eyes. Taehyung holds his gaze. Studies every minute detail of his dear mer's face in the knowledge of their impending parting. His hands reach up to cradle Jeongguk's face, thumbs over his cheeks affectionately. With the shorter hair, he looks more mature, the sharp angles of his jaw and strong brows more accentuated than before. Yet he is still ethereal, still beautiful beyond measure with those tiny stars on his cheekbones, the mole under his lip and his intense, blueish-black eyes. Taehyung already misses him. The mere thought of going to Seoul without Jeongguk hurts.

So he parts with a little secret, a silly idea he had for a while now, in hopes of dulling the pain.

"Actually..." Taehyung gnaws at his lip. Is not quite sure how to go about this. 

Jeongguk turns his face into Taehyung's palm to press a tender kiss there, then slips a hand between Taehyung's and his cheek, entwining their fingers, squeezing in a silent urge to go on. Taehyung nods to himself, collecting his thoughts.

"So, I was thinking... my current contract with the music label is pretty strict but I have an understanding CEO. I was thinking of setting up a new contract that gives me more freedom in many things - including the place where I'm staying, and how much time of the year I have to be an active idol. And, well..."

Taehyung tugs down their hands and starts playing with the tiny gemstones on Jeongguk's freshly manicured nails. For some reason he's getting nervous.

Not that Jeongguk gives him much room to chicken out, though.

"And?," the mer already prompts.

Taehyung huffs. "And, I was thinking, maybe I could, like, purchase some land. On the coast here. Right at the shore. And, like, build a house there. A proper home for you and I, you know?"

He peeks up at the mer from under his lashes at the last words, both eager and afraid to gauge his reaction.

For a hot second, Jeongguk just stares at him. Then, his mouth slowly falls open.

"What...?"

Taehyung panics.

"Of-of course you don't have to," he hurries to say, hands pulling away from Jeongguk's to wave through the air. "It was just a stupid idea, really, I mean, you have your cave, and a house is not underwater and-and, just... just forget what I said, I didn't- this wasn't-"

"Taehyung."

Somehow Jeongguk is holding his hands again already.

Taehyung gulps. His tongue darts out to over too-dry lips.

"Yeah?"

"You mean it?"

He scowls, then. "Mean what?"

"You'd build a home for us?" The mer's voice sounds so raw, Taehyung barely recognises it.

"I... yes?"

Jeongguk's eyes begin to twinkle traitorously. And Taehyung, Taehyung is stuck at that kind of reaction.

"Huh? I, Gguk, why are you crying?!"

He is. There are tears running down his cheeks, and he is sniffling as he keeps Taehyung's hands clutched to his chest. Taehyung doesn't know what to make of it. He wants to wipe the tears away, hates seeing them in the first place, but can't, not with how Jeongguk refuses to let go of him.

"You really wanna build a home, just for us?"

Taeyhugn nods, equal parts frantic and worried. When he opens his mouth, his own voice comes out way too wobbly for his own liking.

"Yes, yes, I want- I thought- but babe, why are you- you literally built an entire cave for me in the cliffs, why are you crying now? How is this any different?"

Another sniff from the mer, louder this time. "The caves weren't a home for you."

"That- well..."

True.

"...Do you believe me that I won't leave you now?"

Jeongguk slaps Taehyung's arm, huffs, and hides in the crook of his neck until all the tears have dried.

 

During dinner, sweet and caring Yongbok apologises around twenty times when Taehyung tells him he'll have to leave because this is no longer a safe place for him. He looks so genuinely worried, and has become a good friend of both Taehyung and Jeongguk in no time - which says a lot, considering the mer's history with humans - that Taehyung hedges another plan of his.

"So, uh, you know how Jeonggukkie and I are together, right?"

Yongbok nods hard enough that Taehyung is worried for his neck, his eyes wide as saucers as they are trained on the idol.

"And you know how difficult it is for someone in my profession to be in a relationship?"

"Yeah, 's a . Contracts, and fans, and stuff."

"Right, yes, so." Under the table, Jeongguk squeezes Taehyung's hand. Taehyung squeezes right back. "So, I have to get back to Seoul before things escalate here. You probably understand that I can't take Gguk with me just like that."

Again, the blond nods. He looks even sadder now on their behalf, and Taehyung is once more struck by what an empathetic soul the guy is.

"So I was thinking... as you obviously know who I am, but didn't snitch to anybody, and you also now Jeonggukkie... maybe I could send letters to you, for him? And you could act as our go-between? If that's okay with you. I won't be able to leave Seoul for a long while once I get back, and Jeonggukkie doesn't have any technical devices, and he also lives so secluded not even the mail man bothers to get there, so, uh, yeah."

"Of course, no worries, we can absolutely do that! I'll be the bloody best fixer ya evah had," Yongbok declares proudly. It makes all three of them laugh.

A bit later, their landlord asks in fake-hushed whisper, "Wait, 's that mean yer a hermit?"

To which Jeongguk answers with an indignant "Do I look like a crab to you?!" and Taehyung ends up holding his aching belly, absolutely unable to stop laughing his off. The mer just pouts at him.

They're gonna be fine, Taehyung thinks while wiping a tear away. He'll be back in no time at all. Anything else is not an option.

Two hours later, he kisses Jeongguk goodbye with the gusto of a soldier going to war. In a way, it feels like that. The music industry is not a kind one, especially in Korea. It's gonna be tough, and he'll have to break himself apart several times before the new version of Kim Taehyung will be enough for the comeback.

But he tries not to think about that when Jeongguk digs his fingers into his jacket and buries his nose in Taehyung's neck, inhaling deep.

Goodbyes, Taehyung decides, ing .

He even feels a little heartbroken about parting with Yongbok. Especially when, after Taehyung sold out the house for the next six months so Jeongguk has a place in the human world to go to, the tiny blond man hands him a bag full of homemade cookies and makes Taehyung promise to contact at least once a week.

Seems like Taehyung will write two letters each time, then. One for Yongbok and Jeongguk together, and one for his mer's eyes only. He is not mad, though, far from it. Sees it as a lucky chance he found a friend in his second landlord at the coast. One who hopefully won't betray him the way Jimin did.

Somehow, one goodbye turns into five, and into the three men huddling together in a group hug, clinging to each other desperately. Until Taehyung sneezes into Yongbok's ear, that is. They bolt apart laughing, the youngest rubbing his ear furiously and attempting - but failing - to sneeze right back. The parting is more light-hearted this way. Taehyung doesn't feel as bad any more for leaving Jeongguk behind.

 

...It still .

One hour into his drive to the capital in the dead of the night, with barely any other cars on the road, it still ing . Taehyung clenches his hands around the steering wheel to the point of his knuckles whitening out as he fights the urge to make a u-turn right back to Haneul.

At least, the first person he meets in Seoul is not his manager. Thank God. Taehyung is in a sour mood after the exhausting ride, and ready to rip off some heads if crossed. No, the one lounging in the entrance area of the expensive residence is his friend Hoseok. As usual, the lively dancer is dressed in a colourful and fun style that would look like a teenager's wardrobe has thrown up on anybody else. Even his face mask is colourful, with a giant smiling Murakami flower printed on it. (Taehyung only remembered the name because Hoseok has been gushing over the man for a solid week, many years ago.)

Before Taehyung can decide whether to do anything else in greetings aside from giving a tired smile, he gets already pulled into a tight hug.

"You know the code to my apartment," comes out muffled into the teddy plush coat.

Hoseok merely laughs loudly into his ear. "Yah, I'm not intruding in your home when I can just sit down here and put up a new record on Piano Tiles, you punk."

"I missed you too."

Hoseok gives a dramatic sniff. "You better!" Then, he smacks the back of Taehyung's head.

 

"...So now you wanna get all domestic and build a house for the both of you? Awww, I'm so jelly" his friend says and stuffs another marshmallow into his mouth.

"What are you getting jealous of, do you know how expensive a piece of land can be in this economy? And to build an extravagant estate from scratch?"

Hoseok shrugs, unapologetic. "It's not like you don't have the money. Besides, you could just buy a house instead of building one from scratch and making it as fancy as possible, ya know?"

Taehyung huffs at the other from where he's sprawled out like a starfish on his bed. "And where would be the fun in that?"

"M just saying, you don't have any ground for complaints. You could have it easier, if you wanted."

"Yeah, well, easier is boring."

Hoseok leans over to offer a marshmallow to Taehyung, puckering his lips along until the latter opens his mouth. He grins. "Figures. Who else falls head over heals for a fairy tale figure that's been hated on by everybody else, out of all people? With your looks, charisma, talent, and popularity you could easily have anyone else, but nooo."

Taehyung at his lips in hopes of getting rid of the white sugary traces, and frowns. "Okay, first off, it's 'fairy tale figure who', not 'that'. My Jeonggukkie is a living being with emotions and deserves to be addressed as such, thank you very much. And second, nobody else has ever been an option."

"Gosh, you're being so lovey-dovey it's giving me cavities," Hoseok groans. "I stand by my point - I'm jealous."

"Yeah, well."

"Did you already look up architects or agencies and stuff for your fancy house?"

Now, look what an interesting ceiling he's got in his bedroom! "Uhh..."

"Ohmygod, you totally did, didn't you?!"

"...Maybe...?"

Hoseok shrieks with glee.

 

The whole thing turns into a spontaneous sleepover party - like it always does, when a certain jolly someone is inviting himself over - and soon enough, Taehyung finds himself cuddled up against the side of his friend. And notices how very different it feels from sleeping with Jeongguk.

....

Ahhhh. 

He sighs.

Wrong train of thoughts. Now he's missing the mer again.

"Did you already set a comeback date?," Hoseok asks into the quiet darkness of the late night. It's closer to early morning at this point, but, semantics.

Taehyung grunts in answer, and Hoseok chuckles while giving him a sympathetic pat on his hand.

This is gonna be a long day.

Maybe Taehyung should take bets on how often he'll want to rip off his manager's head.

...Or maybe not, because that would only fuel his pissed-off-ness. What's the nominalisation of 'pissed off' again? He really should sleep now. Ugh. Comeback planning. He already feels stressed.

 

Five times.

That's how often Taehyung wants to decapitate manager Seo the next day by the time he's heading home. 

No 'welcome back, I'm glad to see you again and that you seem to be okay'. Instead, the greeting he got was,

"Do you even know how long it's been since your last live performance?!"

Which.

"Like, nine months maybe?"

"Eleven months, seven days and-" Seo checks his phone- "five hours! But who is counting, right? It's not like we have a status to defend."

If his manager could foam at his mouth, he probably would have.

Taehyung has given him a long, hard look and then settled with saying, "Last time I checked, out of the two of us only I was an idol and had a status to defend." He let a bit of the ice seep into his too-calm voice. Gave a glimpse of why every now and then people whispered with hushed voices behind his back about how true it was that the nicest people are the scariest. Like that one time when he got swarmed at the airport by sasaengs and was so done with them, he plucked a phone out of his face and shoved it right back into its owner's stunned visage. It's been the talk of town for a solid week. Because in the idol industry, something like this can easily count as a crime.

Now back in his own apartment, with no manager Seo in sight, he thinks of getting himself a new manager. One who doesn't look at him like he's a gold-ting donkey. Before he can think better of it, he sends a quick Text to Bang PD, asking for just that.

 

The next morning, Taehyung has a short yet heart-felt message of the CEO in his mailbox, where he expresses his happiness about Taehyung being over his art block, about him having come back home safely and working on new music again. He also finds a file attached to the mail with three possible manager profiles in it. After some deliberation, and typing out an answer to PD-nim's question as to what is wrong with manager Seo exactly, Taehyung makes his choice.

He spends the rest of the day in one of the company's recording booths and telling Pdogg as much as possible about what he has in mind for the new album so the producer can work his magic on the records. There is a lot of creative back-and-forth going on, the productive energy flowing easily once again. It's so very different to the way Taehyung stood in the same booth back in spring and kept staring blankly at the mic for a solid hour before giving up.

After something like the twentieth take, the producer says something that makes Taehyung contemplate the way he's been performing before.

"You sound different than before. Your emotions are more raw and genuine, but in a different way than back in your debut era. I'm not sure how to put it. But something has changed, in a good way. Seems like you had one hell of a self-discovery while you were gone, kid. With that sound, you'll sell out within minutes."

He is not wrong. 

Well. Taehyung doesn't know about the last part - he'll leave those kinds of judgement to the producer - but he sure is not the same person who ed off to Nakseongdae more than half a year ago. And now, in retrospective, he feels bad for the way he handled his last two comebacks. He'd treated those more like a routine, a habit, a chore to do. Looking back, it feels insincere. Both towards the music itself and his fans. Maybe he can use this comeback as some kind of redemption. Strive to give back to his fans in a more faithful and deserving way instead of a means to keep his place at the top of the charts. Yeah, he'll need to do some deep thinking. Might be a good time for an image make-over too. To move away from the perfect, untouchable prince he crafted himself to be in favour of more vulnerability and closeness. 

Manager Seo barely crosses his way the entire day, thankfully. But every time he does, he glowers at Taehyung before prancing away with nose raised high in the air. Taehyung is glad that he is still in the early throes of comeback, where he spends most of the time recording and experimenting. It'll get busier once that stage is passed - then it's time for dance practise, more vocal lessons, planning of all kinds of stuff, music video recordings, wardrobe makeover, interviews and whatever else. That's when a good manager becomes crucial.

A good, new, humane manager, hopefully. The profile he read sounded promising. Taehyung has trusted his gut feeling for the choice instead of contacting other artists from his label and asking around about the three possible guys. (Of course it's all boys. God forbid a male idol has a female manager, how utterly scandalous. Taehyung has rolled his eyes so hard after reading over the three unmistakably male names this morning.)

The manager transition won't happen overnight, however, he is aware of that much. For this to be a smooth procedure, Seo has to instruct the new guy thoroughly about Taehyung's habits, quirks, usual schedule pattern and such. Things like that take time. Require several briefings. Especially if Seo opts to be not-so-cooperative, like Taehyung suspects. Alas, there is not much the man can do once Taehyung decides he no longer wants to work with him. So he probably throws some tantrums now while pretending that he does have a say in this.

That's why Taehyung is not mad at all about barely seeing his manager today. The latter might be seething at him anyway.

Good riddance.

 

The next days follow the same pattern, with the difference that after day one in the studio, Taehyung makes sure to carve out enough time to write those letters to Jeongguk and Yongbok.

Then it's Monday, and he meets Christopher for the first time in person. The guy is only slightly shorter than Taehyung himself yet with a broader frame, as if he's working out regularly. His droopy eyes are kind, voice calm and soft as he gets up to bow deeply at Taehyung and then proceeds to pull out a chair for him.

Taehyung is vary at first, his own words stilted, sentences no longer than necessary. He doesn't want a repeat of Seo. Even though technically everything is already decided, there will still be a test phase to see if the Christopher guy actually is suited for the job at hand. Taehyung doesn't want to open up too quickly. Refuses to get attached within the first five minutes like he sometimes does. That way, calling the whole deal off would hurt less.

Except.

Taehyung has always had a good read on people. It had been one of the reasons people called him weird sometimes when he openly disliked a person after meeting them for the first time - only to later turn out that something was wrong with them, but at that point of course everyone had forgotten Taehyung's instant disapproval. Call it sixth sense, maybe. Either way, his judgement rarely failed him. (Jimin is a one-time mistake and hopefully won't find a repeat anytime soon, or, preferably ever.)

So yes. Even with his borderline hostile behaviour towards the stranger, Taehyung doesn't get any bad vibes from Christopher. At all. Christopher is all patient smiles, polite honorifics and professional questions about Taehyung's preferences, likes and dislikes, allergies, sleeping schedule et cetera.

After a while, Taehyung can't help but ask if Seo didn't tell him all those things.

To which Christopher - another refreshing change, considering Taehyung never was on a first-name basis with manager Seo in all these years - just nods, smiles, and says that he wanted to check those facts himself. Just in case.

And so it goes on. Until his soon-to-be-manager has a little slip-up.

"...any special wishes considering journos in general, and with the comeback in mind?"

Taehyung stares.

And then stares some more, because it's been exactly eleven days (not that he's counting - yes, he is! Eleven days of not seeing Jeongguk, gosh) since he heard that word for the first time. Straight out of Yongbok's mouth.

"Are you... are you by any chance Australian too?"

Christopher looks at him like a deer caught in headlight, mouth dropping open. There is a hint of fear in his expression.

"Howdya know?"

It's the most insecure he sounded during the entire meeting so far. And exactly what it takes for Taehyung to stop pretending he is an unapproachable douche. The idol leans in to place a hand on the younger's arm and gives him what he hopes to be a reassuring look.

"I met someone else recently who grew up in Australia. You are not doing as good of a job hiding your Aussie slang as you may think, if one just knows what to look for. Not that it's a bad thing."

His soon-to-be-manager lets out a humourless laugh. And seems to decide that covering up his Aussie slang is pointless now. "Ya 'n I both know that's not deadset though. Korea is not half as open-minded 'n tolerant as it always makes itself out ta be."

Taehyung doesn't have a rebuttal to that. It is true, after all. The one time he gave an answer during an interview that betrayed his romantic preference for men, the backlash has been enormous. For someone like Christopher who not only speaks differently but also looks partly foreign with his too big nose and non-asian, droopy eye-form, it must have been even worse all his life.

"Well, sunbae-nim-"

Christopher splutters. "Wh- I'm not the sunbae-nim, Taehyung-ssi! You are older than me and have much more experience in this industry, how could i evah let ya call me by that honorific...?"

Taehyung huffs. "First of all, you are not 'letting me do' anything. Secondly, as far as I'm concerned, the idol should always show a minimum of respect towards their manager. And thirdly, it doesn't matter to me where you come from as long as you do a good job."

With every statement, the other's eyes have gone wider and wider.

They sit in silence for a little while, before Christopher mutters something about Taehyung being an odd one. It's only after he refilled both of their glasses for a second time - Taehyung's first, then his own - that he remembers something.

"...Wait. Taehyung-sunbae-nim-ssi. Australian-Koreans are not exactly common. Who did ya say again ya met, if I may ask?"

"Oh, uhm, his name is Yongbok, but I don't think you-"

"YA KNOW FELIX?!," Christopher shouts in the thickest Australian accent Taehyung has ever heard so far.

From then on, the ice is finally broken. They chatter animatedly about the freckled little sunshine who happens to be a friend of both of them, Christopher occasionally throwing in a question or two concerning his work as personal manager.

After a while, they also reach the matter of aliases. And Taehyung learns that Christopher ('You can call me Chris') has, just like Yong-Felix-bok, experience with producing music.

"But I've never heard of you, and our producer team is not, like, gigantic."

Chris shrugs. "Yer, well, ya didn't know Lixie too. It's the same with me. When I work on music here, I go by the name Bang Chan. Sounds less Aussie."

"Wait, you are Bang Chan?!"

"Uhh..."

 

Needless to say, Taehyung writes Bang PD-nim an enthusiastic message about accepting Chris as his new manager. In caps-lock.

He gets three thumbs-ups and a finger-heart-emoticon as answer, and snickers.

Sometimes it really does feel like the CEO is a father figure to his artists more than anything else.

Once that is done, Taehyung sits down to write his next letter to Jeongguk.

 

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•

 

Jeongguk lays with his tail curled around one of the rocks in his cave, and pouts.

Another day alone, another day with no Taehyung.

The thing is, he doesn't even dare to go visit his parents in an attempt of distraction. What if he misses the arrival of Taehyung's letter? But then again... the mer huffs and flops onto his back. The little hermit crab that's taken up residence in his bookshelf months ago, judgingly clacks with its claws. Then again, Jeongguk could miss the letter either way, if he stays in his cave. Going to fetch the letters would mean swimming to Haneul, transforming in a hopefully safe spot, and braving the town all on his own. Maybe he even runs into the girl who harassed his Taehyung into leaving. Or maybe some of the Nakseongdae villagers have moved here by now. Maybe someone would recognise him, and rightfully put the blame for the storm flood on him.

No, no, no.

He curls tighter around the stone.

Too risky.

 

Two hours later, Jeongguk cuts through the sea as quick as he can. To hell with his own insecurities! If Taehyung notices how there are no answering letters coming, he'll worry. And Jeongguk doesn't want him to worry.

He is a bit sluggish on his feet, though. It's been a few days since he last shifted forms. And yeah, okay, he does feel more vulnerable without Taehyung there to guide him. More lost.

Dammit, which of the blue houses is ours again?

Pull yourself together, Jeongguk! This is nothing. You've faced far greater struggles.

He makes his way through the few streets with all-blue houses slowly. When they walked the streets together, Taehyung would always lead them to their destination, and Jeongguk had the luxury of putting all his attention on his lover instead of their surroundings. Now, however, the mer is alone. And there is no Yongbok in sight.

After meandering through the street fruitlessly for over an hour, Jeongguk very reluctantly makes his way over to the hairdresser where Yongbok's sister works. That is a route he will never forget. He shivers at the mere memory. Ugh.

He gets lucky. The sister is still there when he arrives. She has him waiting in one of those black, expensive-looking chairs until she is done with her client - an elderly woman who is in the middle of telling the entire facility about her cactus collection - and then draws a little map for him. Giggles at the miserable 'Sorry' slipping past Jeongguk's lips and assures him that everyone has a hard time telling the blue houses apart. 

"Amongst children it's a challenge, actually. To find the right house, or name all of their inhabitants," she faux-whispers.

Jeongguk is not sure whether that's true or just an attempt to make him feel less stupid but he is thankful either way.

As soon as the scribbled map is done, he dashes out of the building, though, the sound of scissors cutting off hair grating in his ears.

Jeongguk officially is allergic to hairdressers from this point onwards.

 

A few minutes later, he does knock on the door of one of the many blue houses, and it is indeed a Yongbok who opens it.

"Now look who finally came back. Took ya long enough, mate. Come in, theah is a bunch of letters waitin' for ya."

Jeongguk mumbles something under his breath, well-aware of his face burning red in something that feels a lot like shame, then trails after the chipper human. Indeed, he is presented with a small stack of letters that are addressed to 'Jeon Jeongguk'.

He furrows his brows. Looks through the unopened letters until he can confirm for himself that yes, on every single one of them there is a 'Jeon' written in front of his name in Taehyung's neat, small handwriting.

"Who is Jeon?"

Yongbok tip-toes to peep over his shoulder - instead of just walking around Jeongguk until he has a better look - and purses his lips. "Isn't that ya? Like, yah family name?"

The mer bites his lip just in time to stop himself from asking what a family name is. He knows the concept (by now). Taehyung and him have read several books with characters who have family names. And Taehyung has one too, of course. The one and only Kim Taehyung. He knows that much. But since when does Jeongguk have one, as well?

How very mysterious. 

Yongbok is still refusing to get a more comfortable position for being nosey. "Do ya want ta read yours first, or the ones for both of us?" In his tiny hands, he has clutched just as many letters as Jeongguk is holding - except they are already opened and unfolded.

"Both of us?"

"Yer, they are addressed ta me on the envelope, but the letters themselves are for 'Dear Yongbok-ah and Jeonggukkie'. See?"

He holds one of the letters right under the mer's nose, too close for him to actually decipher anything. For now, Jeongguk will have to take the smaller's word for it.

"Uhm... yours first?"

Cue tiny yet surprisingly resolute slap on his shoulder. "Got ya. Good choice. Follow me, I got hot choccy."

And following him, Jeongguk does. They get comfortable in two old armchairs that look like Yongbok has built or at least designed them. Huge, comfortable, and embracing the nautical rustic chic, or short NRC, how Taehyung called it during their tour. In those armchairs, everyone gets to look small. Maybe that's the real idea behind it. Yongbok doesn't want to be the only one who swims and gets lost in everything that's not form-fitting. Jeongguk can respect that.

"Do ya want ta read self, or can i read it ta ya?," the blond asks from where he successfully disappeared in a mountain of fluffy blankets.

Jeongguk thinks about it. On one hand, he wants to read Taehyung's letters in privacy. On the other hand, though, they are all hand-written. Jeongguk is not good with hand-writings. He is used to books, and printed words where the same letters always look identical. He sighs.

"Uhm..."

Yongbok pokes out his head, blond hair already sticking every-which-way. He has one of those blinding smiles already stretching all over his face, and looks very much like those excited puppies Taehyung showed him on his phone.

"Can I read?!"

"...Yes please-"

A small fist shoots out of the blanket heap, followed by an enthusiastic "Yeah, man!"

 

It takes the entire afternoon for the both of them to finish the letters addressed to Yongbok as well. Not only because Jeongguk has missed so many letters (Taehyung in all honesty seems to write one letter a day) but also because Yongbok keeps commenting on them to his heart's content. Especially once Taehyung writes about a certain Christopher. Yongbok all but vibrates out of his armchair at the mention of him, and starts gushing about his Aussie mate Chan. It is endearing to watch, yet very much not what Jeongguk came here for. So the mer tries to stir the conversation back to the letters - and fails spectacularly. Somehow, Yongbok manages to twist everything so he gets back to his favourite topic Chan. Or Christopher. Or Bang Chan. Or Channie. Or Chris. Jeongguk is confused.

"So about the letters-"

"Oh! That reminds me, back in the day when Chan 'n I weah pahrt of that one trainee program, we used ta throw wadded up messages at each othah when the teacher wasn't lookin'. Hah, fun times..." The blond sighs dreamily.

"Yeah, but, Taehyung-"

"Hey, did ya know Channie used ta be pahrt of a rapper unit called 3Racha until recently? They have also worked on... lemme think... at least four songs for Taehyung-ah. Damn, I wish we could work on one of his songs togethah one day..."

"Okay, but the letters Taehyung sent us-"

"Oh my god, I gottah show ya the clips Channie sent me a few weeks ago somewhen past midnight! So appahrently, 3Racha are a well-established name even amongst fans - which, rightly so - 'n theah are some fans creatin' funny doodles 'n stuff about them, 'n it's the bloody most hilarious , I sweahr! Here, look... wait... I got them stored in my gallery, just a sec..." 

...Jeongguk gives up. Getting an excited Yongbok back on track is a lost case. So he sighs, takes another big sip of his hot chocolate, and succumbs to his fate as an unwilling listener of Yongbok's wild Aussie childhood and the entire history of his friendship with Chris. Bang Chan. Whatever.

 

Later, long after Yongbok offered him to stay the night and Jeongguk reluctantly accepted - it just feels wrong to sleep alone in the room he used to share with Taehyung - the mer lays in bed, the fairy lights behind him switched on, and slowly reads through the letters destined for his eyes only. The tone of those is entirely different. While the ones for Yongbok have sounded light-hearted most of the time, with some funny anecdotes strewn in, the ones Jeongguk is reading now are nothing like that. They are full of longing, of desperate love. In the fourth letter, Taehyung has written half a page of 'I miss you, I miss you, I miss you'. When Jeongguk sees it, he has to put down the letter for a long while. And wishes he could feel Taehyung's arms wrap around him as silent sobs shake his body.

"I miss you too," he whispers into the too quiet room.

Curls into a ball, cradles the letters to his chest until they are all crumbled up, and escapes into the soft lull of waves he always feels wherever he is. Lets the sea guide him into a restless sleep as he laments the too-big bed, the too-cold sheets, his too-empty arms. Even in his dreams, his thoughts keep running in a circle. Count all the things that are off, that feel wrong without Taehyung by his side.

 

The next morning, Yongbok gives him a sympathetic look and a pat on his shoulder as Jeongguk trudges down the stairs.

"Ya miss him lotsa, huh?"

The mer nods. He doesn't want to talk right now. And quite honestly, he wouldn't even know what to say, except 'yes, yes, I miss him with everything I have'. But those words are not meant for Yongbok's ears. So he holds them back. Doesn't add anything after his mute nod. Luckily, he doesn't need to. The smaller one doesn't push. Merely hands him a plate overly full with all kinds of fried food, probably typically Australian, and gets a huge mug of tea ready for the mer.

Yongbok is, however, bad at keeping his mouth shut. Jeongguk is only halfway done with devouring his breakfast when the other man pipes up again.

"By tah way, are ya the guy in the pictures from the photoshoot?"

The mer perks up at that. Munches some more on the fried egg - or was it bacon? He always confuses the two - and then tilts his head. "What pictures?"

He knows what pictures Yongbok is talking about. But just for a second allows himself to play coy. After all, Taehyung explained him weeks ago how there are usually several sets of pictures from completely different photoshoots for one album. And the pictures he took of Jeongguk in his mer form are only for one of those sets. If the company accepts them at all.

It has been a wild noon still back in his cave, when Taehyung has asked him, shyly at first, if he could take a few pictures of Jeongguk for his album. Nothing too revealing, nothing that could endanger his identity. After Jeongguk slowly agreed, Taehyung has gotten out his phone and started giving orders to the mer how to pose, what to do with the water, which way to twist his body and in what direction to splay out his fins. Then he has taken a ton of close-ups. Some blurred shots too.

"It's about the mysterious vibe," Taehyung has said as he kept zooming in on Jeongguk's scales, on the way little waves shimmered through the thinnest part of his fins, the stars under his eyes.

During the entire time, he's kept gushing about how utterly gorgeous the mer looks. To the point of Jeongguk blushing and turning away, to which Taehyung has just cooed, pinched his cheek, and given him a sweet kiss.

Once Taehyung was satisfied with his work (and has shown Jeongguk all the pictures, so he could give his sign of approval or tell him where to crop them some more), the mer has hauled him into his lap and demanded payment in form of affection.

So yes, Jeongguk knows what Yongbok means. And also which picture is the only one that could have given him away.

Yongbok, however, either didn't catch the undertone giving away Jeongguk's white lie, or decides to humour him. For he gets out his phone, fumbles around a bit, and then holds it right next to Jeongguk's head, star freckles zoomed in. He tilts it until he must get the proper angle, then proclaims victoriously,

"Looks exactly the same!"

No matter how much he bites his lip, now Jeongguk can't stop the grin spreading over his face. "Yeah, that's. It's me."

"Bloody knew it!"

Yongbok does a tiny dance through his kitchen that is way too endearing this early in the day, then stops, points at the mer, and says, "But wait. Where'd ya get the freaky fish tail?"

Muscle memory kicks in. Taehyung has practised this very response with Jeongguk for several minutes. Just in case.

"Photoshop," he blurts out. And hopes he sounds as if he knows what he's talking about.

It must be working. Yongbok nods, gives him a thumbs-up, a cheery "Very cool, mate," and skips out of the kitchen.