It’s been a while since I’ve been this nervous. It’s the anticipation. It’s driving me wild, and I hate it. I’m looking stupid shivering in my car despite the heat being on. I need to relax. If this continues, I’ll be sweating in a few minutes. Waiting will do no good anyway, I’ll have to see her no matter what. I might as well be the first to arrive and be the one who look like they own the place. I mean, I’ll really be the one to own the place. I’m not the one who left, and she’d better remember it. Ok, time to get moving. Relax Byul, relax.

Wow, this must be the place. Hyejin is getting the taste of luxury, it seems. It looks good but damn it’s fancy for a tearoom. I hope it’s not too expensive, my wallet is not very happy this month. God, I wish this could just be a normal meetup with the kids, I would need it. Anyway… Nice flowers… Ouch, strong smell. This alley pattern is really geometrical. Oh, Wheein is already inside. Did she dye her hair? Ding. Are those dingily things above shops’ doors still a thing nowadays? Ha, it’s warm here, it’s nice.

- “Unnie!

- Hi Wheeinie! You look so pretty! New look?

- Yes, thank you! Needed a change.

- Bad news? Midlife crisis?

- Midlife? Unnie what are you going on about?

- You’re 27, who knows? You might feel old yet? Maybe that’s why you chose an extravagant colour, to chase your youth?

- YAH! What about you then?

- Me? I’m always blonde, I look better like that.”

That kid is so cute. 27 my , I hope she keeps this side of her forever.

- “I’m kidding, blue’s your colour. You look amazing.

- Hum, thanks, I guess.”

She really does. God, I missed her, her energy is contagious. If I feed out of her energy, does it mean I give her my fatigue? I hope not. The owner must love flowers, there are some on the paper wall behind the counter. They look similar to those at the entrance. What do I know about flowers anyway? Right, Wheein.

- “Should we order something yet?

- Hum sure, do you know what do you want? I’ve already looked at the board while I was waiting.

- Have you been here long?

- No, just a few minutes.

- Good. So, you know what you’re having?

- Yup! I wanted to try their white tea from Nepal.

- Fancy drink for a fancy lady.

- Arg, unnie…

- What? I never lie, you know me. I’ll go for… the Sri Lankan black tea.

- I’ll go get them!

- Thank you.”

The little shop is cosy, I have to give that to Hyejin. It’s the perfect place: not a lot of people, pretty quiet. It’s the kind of place you come to when you want to enjoy someone’s conversation. I love those places usually, but it’s going to be too quiet for today. Nowhere to hide, no loud music to focus on in awkward moments, no alcohol to sip on when you have nothing to say. Or when you have too much to say. At least the lights are dimmed. You’ll have no choice but to face her full on, Byul. You can do it.

- “Ha, Hyejin is here.”

Wheein is waving, trying to get her attention, but I’m pretty sure Hyejin already found us; everywhere she goes, the first thing she’s looking for is her best friend. Yup, I was right. Hyejin gives the best hugs, even in awkward positions like this one. Who else would back hug a friend who’s sitting down? Her arms are warm around my neck. Yes, she had always given the best hugs. I missed that too. I wish I could see them more often. And I’ll never get tired of how Wheein pretends to be disgusted with Hyejin’s kisses.

- “Hello girls. You already ordered I see. I’ll be right back.”

It looks like she knows the place well. I’ll have to ask her about it. Who did she come here with? Is her own business doing well? I should stop by her shop more often. But I really don’t know anything about flowers. Ah, she’s already back.

- “It’s been a while again, Byulyi unnie.

- Yeah, it’s been too long. I hope you two contact each other more often.

- Of course, I can’t live without my Wheeinie.

- She really can’t! She calls me every other day or so… so annoying.” Wheein acted disgusted, again.

- Yeah, I’m sure you hate it.”

Teasing them is always fun.

- Hum… I didn’t say that…”

Oh, an unexpected answer. Her expression is hilarious! Hyejin must agree with me, she’s cracking up. I guess Wheein isn’t in a total rejecting mode today.

- “So Yongsun texted me earlier.”

Her? Texting?

- “Wow.”

Wheein spoke my mind.

- “I know, I know. Apparently, she’s being held back at work, she will come but a little late.

- I was surprised she’s even coming. I guess late is better than just… not.

- Hum. I think it’s good actually Wheeinie, like this we can talk a little bit before she comes, so we can be on the same page.”

The same page? What is she on about? So I won’t see Yongsun right now…? Please don’t ask me what I think of all of this again. I need to put the focus on them. But there is no way around this topic, I guess.

- “Hm, what are you expecting from all of this Hyejin?

- I just want to reconnect. The situation is stupid and unfair. We were close, there are no reasons why we are not anymore.”

She is so stubborn. Am I getting a headache?

- “Just don’t hope too much Hyejin-ah, we’ve already tried to reach out to her, the three of us. You know how it went.

- Byulyi-unnie is right Hyejin, her coming today doesn’t mean much.”

Wah, it to hear Wheein say this, sounding so resigned. She might have been the one who tried the most staying in touch. Has she lost hope completely? Does it hurt her like it’s hurting me?

- “I’m very well aware of this, girls. We’ll see how it goes, I guess. But I don’t want to close that door now.

- Me neither.”

Ah, so Wheein hasn’t completely lost hope. They look adorable holding hands like this.

- “What about you unnie?”

- “We already talked about it Hyejin.”

A few months prior

The three girls were fairly inebriated. They always were when they were seeing each other at one of their places. It was the way they would all relax, finding comfort in each other company. The end of summer was here, and the night was perfect. Hanging out on the balcony, they were looking at the stars, sipping on soju.

- “I miss Yongsun.”

Once again, Hyejin had brought the topic up. She was the only one being vocal about it. She was, by nature, the most affectionate out of the group and the more alcohol was in her system, the more sentimental she got.

- “Hyejin-ah…”

The cap on Wheein’s head was backwards so she could look at the sky easier. But she was now looking down at her friend, whose head was on her lap, playing with her hair. Wheein wasn’t one to talk much about her feelings, ever.

- “Why are we still talking about her?”

Cold soju on a hot day’s night by her friends was Byulyi’s favourite thing. On the opposite, talking about Yongsun was the thing she disliked the most. The two things were deeply connected: there was no other context in with the older girl’s name was brought up.

Silence fell on the group during a few minutes.

- “I’m gonna contact her again.”

Byulyi opened up another bottle, choosing to stay quiet.

- “If you want to, but I’m not sure you’ll have results.” Wheein was looking back up at the sky but her hands were still untangling Hyejin’s short black hair.

- “I want to. I’ll invite her. I’ll find a good excuse for her to come and meet us.

- You’ll have better chances to ask her to see you alone.” Byulyi sat back in her chair, brushing the few strands of hair going into her eyes.

- “Don’t you want to see her thought?” Having no answer from Byulyi, Hyejin insisted. “Unnie, would you prefer if I didn’t reach out?

- I don’t think it’s worth the effort Hyejinie, that’s all. Why would it be different all of a sudden? But you’re free to try, I won’t stop you or anything. I’ll never come between you guys and Yongsun.”

Present day

- “I still stand by what I said.

- What about you, though? You never really told us… What do you expect? What do you want?”

Wheein looked worried asking her question. Don’t forget to act cool, Byul.

- “Nothing. I don’t care much.”

I meant I want everything, Wheeinie.

- “Unnie.”

Great, now I get the great disproving look from Princess Hyejin. What did I say wrong now?

- “I said it, Hyejin. I won’t stop you. I am here, and I will be here with or without her. I don’t want anything from her, and I especially don’t want to let her one-sided decisions change even the slightest thing in my life. So, whatever you two decide, it’s going to be ok for me.

- Listen, I understand that you are not thrilled about this… but do you think you can be civil with her?

- I see you’re thinking highly of me, Hyejin.”

How old does she think I am? This tea is good but… I’m definitely going to need something stronger.

- “I’m sorry, it’s just we have no idea how you’ll react, unnie.

- I won’t be rude, I promise. I know this is important to you, I won’t mess it up. But you know what would help?

- What?

- Alcohol.

- Amen to that!”

Wheein raised her cup as if she were clinking an imaginary glass. I knew my partner in crime would follow me up on this.

- "I guess we can go somewhere else, we still have time before she arrives anyway. Where do you girls want to go?

- It doesn’t matter, I’ll just have a beer anyway, I’m driving.”

And me for that. Apparently Wheein had the same thought, she looks disgusted at my comment.

- “Ah, why did we grow up? It was more fun before you guys had cars.

- You’re so cute Wheein-ah! Don’t frown though, you’ll have wrinkles.”

Look at those two. Wheein doesn’t stop pouting. It’s not going to be long before Hyejin…

- My place?” … gives up. “So unnie can sleep over if she’s too wasted.

- YES! ...”

Sometimes I wonder if Wheein is a 70-year-old woman or a 7-year-old kid. There is rarely an in between. It’s not entirely true but… her duality is insane.

- “… Should we ask if Yongsun-unnie is ok with it first?

- I’m sending her a text now, but I’m sure she won’t mind.

- Let’s wait for her response anyway. It would to have to move again.”

But her being uncomfortable would as well.

- “We won’t have to wait long. She just asked me what my address was.”

Right. She wouldn’t know where Hyejin lives. What a shame. She should know simple things like that.

- “Ok, I’ve replied, we can go. We have to stop by the store though, I haven’t many things to drink at home. What do you want, Wheeinie?

- Soju?

- Alright kids, you drive back, and I’ll meet you there with soju and beers.” What can I say, I can’t resist Wheein either. Sue me. My wallet might sue me, actually. “Should I buy anything else?”