T H I R T Y – O N E

Word of the Day – “Cure”

Miyoung held her breath as she walked into the restaurant. There was a hundred percent certainty that she was going to bump into Kyungsoo when she came into the locker room or the office. Last night’s argument was the worst they’d ever had and she wasn’t entirely sure how to face him after that. It almost felt like it was over. Was it over? Were relationships really supposed to be like this? Always arguing, always fighting over each other’s flaws, always hurting.

Or was their love simply wasn’t enough?

It had only been a month and their relationship was already at rock-bottom. Was it her? Was it him? She understood that their initial relationship had always been strained all throughout but she didn’t expect that it would be the same, if not worse, when they got together as lovers.

He obviously had a lot of emotional baggage that he needed to deal with and so did she.

At least she was trying, right? She wasn’t giving up easily … but Kyungsoo.

There was no doubt that whatever he had gone through life was much worse but she didn’t expect it would be this bad. He was always good at hiding it, he always kept to himself that it never showed just how much he hurt inside. He had a lot of grudges in him that he would hide behind a silly grin. Anger that he masked with sarcasm. This was Doh Kyungsoo. Not head chef Doh Kyungsoo. Not eternal nemesis Doh Kyungsoo.

This was the real unfiltered Doh Kyungsoo that she never thought had always been there, hiding to survive.

“Good morning, Miyoung!” A female staff greeted her as she came into the locker room. She faintly replied with a hi and went on to opening her locker to get her uniform and apron.

She had been doing well with food service but she was yet to hear a compliment from her father. Well, so far, he had commented on her extreme poise when talking to customers which she wasn’t entirely sure whether it was a compliment or he was saying she’s too cocky for a server.

Why, was she supposed to act dumb as if food service was the only job she could ever do in her entire life and bow down to these high-class customers to get their orders? Definitely not.

Miyoung changed into her uniform and walked out, going straight to the office to see Soobin. “Hey, Miyoung. By the way, Chef Minho will be the head of the kitchen today. If you could let the other servers know for me? Thank you.” The manager spoke while still typing on her computer.

“Whe—where’s Kyungsoo?” Miyoung frowned.

Soobin finally looked at her and peeling away from the keyboard. “He texted me late last night so I had to open today actually; he took a sick leave. So now I’m just sending an email to your dad about it and adjusting the timetable a little bit, we’re very busy today.” She leaned on her chair, slightly rolling it out of the table. “Did you talk to him yesterday? Did he look sick? He rarely calls in sick, especially not on a busy Friday. I wonder what’s wrong.”

Miyoung avoided the woman’s gaze while death-gripping the doorknob. All she wanted to do was to escape now and perhaps hide somewhere. “I don’t know. I just—no, I didn’t talk to him yesterday.” She lied before stepping out of the office. She leaned on the closed door, bumping the back of her head on the hard surface to release the anguish caught in .

Was it because of last night?

She was half-expecting he’d somehow find a way to fix things between the two of them today. She thought she had knocked some sense into him. But no. He was avoiding her instead. He was running away from it, just like he always had. He was so good at it, she’d almost forgotten.

Miyoung released a long, ragged breath. “It’s over.” She closed her eyes as she felt all the heaviness take over her chest. It was really over. And this time, she wasn’t so sure she could still assert and fight for it unless he did it first. Was it wrong for her to want the same from him? Was she being overly dramatic for craving the same effort? Did that make her a demanding girlfriend?

Was she asking for too much?

Grabbing her phone out of her apron pocket, she opened the messages to reread their last conversation yesterday. Who would have thought things could go south so quickly like this? He hadn’t texted her; he hadn’t called either. Nothing. Complete M.I.A. Miyoung would be lying if she were to say that she didn’t wait for him to chase her last night when she left. She waited at the parking lot, in her car, for minutes like a pitiful loser until she eventually gave up.

Miyoung contemplated whether to give in and contact him or wait. She was on a late morning shift today so she finished at two in the afternoon, it gave her plenty of time to visit him if she wanted to.

What if he really did get sick and just didn’t want her to worry?

What if the stress from the fight got him sick?

What if he got so upset that he got drunk and hungover today?

She bit her lip as she grew severely aware of herself trying to make excuses. Her stomach dropped and coldness prickled over her. “Get a ing hint, Miyoung.” She heard herself say. A man would say something if he wanted you. A man would show it if he wanted you. If he did nothing, it meant one thing. Surpise surprise—he didn’t want you anywhere near him. 

She found herself checking the messages over and over again as if doing so would make a ing change. Still nothing, duh. Her heart sank, her limbs heavying with sadness. 

How was she supposed to survive today if thoughts of him continued buzzing and distracting her? She could be her typical diva self and just go back in the office to tell Soobin she wanted to go home because she wasn’t in the mood but then that might seem way too suspicious given that Kyungsoo was not in today as well.

Besides, she still had a lot of things to prove and fight for and this shouldn’t disturb her drive. 

She had to fight through the pain.

Fake it ‘til you make it.

Sister Hana’s eyes lit up when Kyungsoo entered the office. It had been so long since he had last seen her. Genes had been good to her and she didn’t look any different from three years ago. She still looked young for a fifty-something nun. Must be the less polluted air in this small town.

“Sister, is it me or are you ageing backwards?” Kyungsoo teased as she approached him with a hug. “Oh my, you silly boy. You still haven’t changed.” They shared a quick embrace before Sister Hana led him to the couch at one corner of the office. “It’s so good to see you, dear son! What brings you here to Jeonju? You got business to do nearby?” The nun beamed while firmly pressing his hands together, visibly delighted to see him.

“No, I—I specifically came to visit here and see you. Too bad, I just heard from the front desk that Sister Nari went on a spiritual retreat, I wanted to see her too.” Kyungsoo admitted and looked around the unchanged office. It looked almost exactly the same as when he was still living here. 

“Oh, yes. You just missed her. She left this morning and will be back on Monday. But I will make sure to let her know that you visited.” Sister Hana softly chuckled before peeling her hand away and leaning on the couch more comfortably. “Okay, so, son?” She solemnly smiled. “I know you very well. You won’t come here just to visit. What’s wrong? Are you having trouble with some things? How’s Sera doing?” She asked.

Oh, right. Kyungsoo hadn’t told them about the divorce.

“Uh, about that,” He scratched the back of his neck and broke his gaze away from the nun. “I’ve been divorced for a year now. Sorry, I—I just hadn’t found the right time to let you know.” He finally revealed.

There was a brief silence until he felt her hands wrapping around his again. “Oh no, dear. I’m so sorry.” Sister Hana gave him a sympathetic frown. “Is that why you’re here? Are you having a hard time moving past it? Please, tell me anything. I’m here to listen.” She offered kindly.

“No, well, uhm … actually—” Kyungsoo choked. “—I don’t know, okay? I don’t why I’m here.” He burst with a sharp tone as he leaned over to his lap and pressed his thumb and index fingers on his temples. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry, Sister. I’m j