T W E N T Y - O N E

Word of the Day – “Bittersweet”

“My cat’s name is Chef.”

The sentence echoed in her ears, multiple times in descending volume until it sounded like it was coming from six feet below the ground. What on earth was happening? If Kyungsoo’s cat’s name was Chef and he had cried once in his adult life, then that could mean—no way. Miyoung couldn’t seem to trust what she just heard, or how her brain chose to process it. Her entire body frizzled into a complete state of euphoria. The creases in between her eyebrows deepened as she scanned for any mischief in the man’s face.

He would take it back and laugh, she was confident that it was going to happen like it always did. In three … two … one—his gaze lowered a bit and she estimated the angle to be aimed down her lips. As if she had felt the stare physically nudge her, she clamped her lips into to somewhat hide them. Again, she waited for the time that he was going to take it back and laugh and this time she wasn’t going to look foolish. Three … two … one. Still ing nothing. Instead, Kyungsoo spun around and proceeded to walk towards the tent, leaving her completely dumbfounded.

My cat’s name is Chef. My cat’s name is Chef. My cat’s name is Chef.

Miyoung almost felt the need to ask him why he didn’t take it back but she didn’t want to seem neurotic to him, as she probably already seemed like for the past fifteen years. On that end, she had spent all the remaining hours of the night trying to decipher his every movement, every facial expression … and every gaze he’d given her once in a while.

It had reached midnight and everyone was just about ready to go to bed and pass out. She remained seated while everyone else cleaned up—well except those who were severely intoxicated who’d just walked away straight into the cabins. Kyungsoo seemed drunk too, actually, but he seemed quite fine. Fine in ways that made Miyoung’s gut do somersaults, or was it the alcohol? Anyway, with or without alcohol in her system, she felt drunk because of him. He looked flushed, his lips were extra puffy, he had abandoned his black cap exposing his pretty messy hair—emphasis on the word pretty.

“Okay, guys, I got the rest. Just go to your cabins now.” Kyungsoo announced as he covered the grill station. Surprisingly, he looked her way as well. “Go to bed.” He mouthed soundlessly, but he moved his lips enough that she was able to read it. That or … she’d been officially an expert when it comes to those lips.

Before she could give him any sort of reaction, Kyungsoo approached her side of the table. “Ar—are you … going to bed too?” Miyoung finally found her words, although they weren’t exactly the words, she’d hope she was going to say. He snatched the two empty glasses in front of her, clutching on their rims together with his fingers so he could hold them with one hand. “Of course, when I’m done here. Help me clean up if you don’t want to go to bed yet.” He softly replied. As he spun behind her, she felt him briefly cup her shoulder for a light squeeze.

Her whole body tensed up from the touch and he released her before she could even look at him. That was warm. So warm that she had forgotten it was approximately ten degrees Celsius at the moment. She could use some of that warmth tonight … in her bed. Miyoung quickly shook the thought off before it became unbearable. Not again with this influx of fantasies flooding her system.

It was becoming harder and harder to take them … or to resist them.

Dazed, she stood up and got ready to leave. Everyone else had left and she was too afraid to be alone with Kyungsoo right now. Too dangerous. Not him but her. Her brain was. Her heart was. Everything that she was feeling from head to toe was dangerous. “Not helping me?” He asked and for some reason, she jolted from the simple question. “No no—that’s fine, go to bed.” He assured her quickly with a smile.

She abruptly turned away to avoid the beautiful sight that he was.

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your cabin.” Kyungsoo dropped everything that he was doing and walked past her while signalling her to follow. Unable to respond, Miyoung robotically trailed behind. She remained at the safe distance in front of him but to her disappointment, Kyungsoo started walking backwards until they were side by side.

Miyoung fisted the hem of her sweater to avoid any contact with his hand that casually swung back and forth as he walked. “You didn’t have to walk me, you know.” She blurted out, despite knowing that it was a little too late of a response. Kyungsoo snorted a cute chuckle which made her turn to look at him. His gaze was lowered to the ground as he ran a hand across his stiff straight hair. “What?” She snapped, frustration clouding her head mostly because he looked way too handsome right now.

Their eyes met and his smile got even bigger, pearly set of teeth blinding her in this darkness. “Are you okay?” He asked, his tone deep and playful. After a momentary silence, Miyoung finally recovered a sharp look on her face and scowled at him. “Are you okay?” She hissed louder, inching closer as if threatening to attack. He only chuckled more, obviously not wavered by the five-foot-one frame that she had.

They had arrived in front of her cabin and she dashed to the stairs while he trailed behind. Miyoung fished her key card out of her pocket and swiped it across the lock system. She stared at the wooden door with a deadpan expression as the warmth behind her got warmer … and warmer … and warmer, until she could feel his firm chest pressed against her back, his hot alcohol breath tickling her ear. “It’s going to be pretty chilly tonight, okay? Make sure you’re warm enough.” He suggested, voice deep and smooth, stimulating every inch of her.

Instead of turning the knob and taking the chance to escape this madness, Miyoung found herself turning around to face him. Her back pressed against the cold surface of the door. The man didn’t even bother moving an inch away to give her more space, he remained still even as their bodies came in contact.

“Are you sure … your cat’s name is Chef?” Miyoung managed to say.

One corner of Kyungsoo’s mouth quirked up into a smirk, his eyebrow arching at the same time. He pressed one palm against the door just beside her head, lifting his gaze away for a quick second while rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I think I’m pretty sure.” He looked down at her again but instead of meeting her eyes, his gaze went straight to her lips. “What, do you want proof?” He chuckled.

Miyoung swallowed hard. “Like wh—what kind of proof, does the cat have like a … birth certificate or something? Do they—do they do that for pets too?” She stuttered through her sentence and she’d never been more mortified.

“It depends on what kind of proof would convince you the most.”

Her eyelids fluttered wider but instead of looking at him, she stared off to the side, her eyes landing on the tender grooves of the back of his hand. The veins popping out of his skin. Scars, including the smallest ones that one could only spot up-close. And most especially, very clean and well-trimmed fingernails. Even that was y to her.

Emotions consumed her in a terrifying way and this time, he’d let herself feel them until they were painful. Her grip on the doorknob tightened and she instinctively turned it.

The door easily flung open because of the weight they’d put on it. She panted in realization as the two of them fell into the entrance, glued together. “—” He laughed as he hovered on top of her on the hardwood floor. “Are you okay?” He asked, his smile slowly fading as soon as he had registered their proximity. Miyoung felt the lump in growing and she forced it down with a hard swallow. The feeling of his weight enclosing her much tinier frame felt exhaustingly good.

She could just stay there, laid under him, for hours … for days … for ing ever.

But awareness quickly caved in, making her frown in exasperation. Ten more seconds in this position, she’d kiss him. She’d hold him and make him hold her back. She’d surrender her body, her mind, her soul—everything.

Then maybe she’d love him … and he’d love her back.

Love. She never thought she would ever apply that word when thinking about him.

The overwhelming weight on her chest made her puff out broken and anxious sighs and she felt extremely self-conscious breathing out right on his face. Kyungsoo didn’t seem to mind though. His eyes scanned every inch of her features, his fingertips brushing on the outline of her jaw, dotting her nape with goosebumps. Miyoung flattered her fingers against his heart, feeling the pounding against her palm.

He was nervous. He was nervous as hell.

Her other hand left the cold wooden floor and reached for his temple to wipe away the dots of sweat that had formed. “Are we gonna—you know—are we just gonna stay like this? Should we… get up?” Words finally found and she looked at him with determination this time. Finally, Kyungsoo got off of her and pulled her up along, suddenly making her regret fo