T H I R T E E N

Word of the Day – “Tempering”

Six years ago

Miyoung cannot decipher the emotions she was going through. In less than forty-eight hours, she was moving and flying to another country far away from home. It was funny to even put it that way because she never felt at home in her own home. Nevertheless, it was still terrifying. She’d never gotten out of her comfort zone but she felt like it was the only way to prove herself. She realized that what she’d been doing for the past few years might be nothing but a hobby, nobody had ever told her otherwise.

The closeness and the faith that she had so badly craved from her father was progressively getting farther and farther from her reach ever since Doh Kyungsoo had officially been promoted as sous chef in their restaurant. This man was achieving everything that her father would have wanted for her to achieve.

She had nothing to offer, nothing that her father would appreciate. Nothing useful. Nothing … relevant.

She had known for a long time that her parents originally struggled to conceive and had considered adopting. She’d heard many stories about it from Mrs. Jung but not long ago, approximately a year before she decided on what she wanted to do after high school, she learned new information that changed everything for her.

It was just one of those moments where she wanted to find about her nemesis, Doh Kyungsoo. In other words, stalk him. She discovered the orphanage he came from, Haewon Children’s Shelter, on the internet. It started out as nothing; it didn’t matter much to her. It was just another fun fact about the man she could potentially use on their daily banters.

Not until Mrs. Jung revealed that that was the same orphanage where her parents were originally looking in to adopt and visited a lot of times. Apparently, her late mother was finally serious about adopting and had officially given up on trying to conceive after so many years of failed attempts. It was her father who was against adopting and wanted to keep trying, ergo Ra Miyoung … and the loss.

The information led her to a ton of theories, to which none benefited her. One of them being … Doh Kyungsoo, along with many other orphans, could have been in her exact position right now if she never showed up in her mother’s womb. But the fact that Kyungsoo was still involved in that alternative scenario blew her mind in the most adverse way.

Another theory would that of her father probably regretting not adopting in the first place and pushing the original plan which lead to his wife’s death. Doh Kyungsoo was her father’s ing redemption.

Suddenly, everything made perfect sense and the competition had never been stronger. She had to get working. She had to do something about it before she completely lost the battle.

“Pooff.” A tickling sensation poked through her ear that made her jolt. She didn’t have to guess who it was. It was him, of course. Who else would have the guts to stick their finger into her ear without fearing for her infamous tantrum? She immediately started pushing him off towards the exit of her bedroom. “Who allowed you in my room—get out, I’m busy packing! I don’t have time to argue with you right now.” She struggled to close the door shut when he pressed a palm on it to stop her. “Yeah, I know, I’m not here to fight, I just want to see how you’re doing. You’re leaving soon, you know?” Miyoung’s grip on the knob relaxed, her eyes narrowing at the man who had taken her subtle reaction as permission to step back in.

“So, what if I’m leaving soon? You must be so happy, right?” She berated back. Kyungsoo stride to her desk, skimming his fingertips on the surface of the table while looking at her calendar that had the date of her flight encircled with a pink marker.

“Hankuk University. Yonsei, Hanyang, Kyunghee and many more could have been good choices too. Why … do you need to go that far? It doesn’t make sense to me.” He claimed, his voice sounding playful and dreary at the same time.

“What is it to you?” She rolled her eyes back before stomping her feet towards the bed to proceed on packing. “And besides, Jinhee’s studying there too. We’re moving there together, it’s just perfect.”

Kyungsoo collapsed on the swivel chair by her desk. “So? Jinhee doesn’t get to control what school you go to. You’re going to find new best friends. I bet you, you two would find other friends when you get there and by then, it’s too late to regret because you’re already there.” He ridiculed in response.

Miyoung sneered at him, chest heaving with anger. She didn’t understand the sudden sermon as if he never had other chances in the past couple of months since she decided on what school to go to. Why now? Why so sudden? Why so … late?

She applied to other universities in Canada as well as the United States and she just so happened to pass in the same university her best friend, Jinhee, also passed. She wasn’t following her. She wasn’t following anyone.

If anything, she wanted to get away from everyone and work her way up to where she deserved to be, on her own. “Why are you here anyway? I don’t need this right now. Especially not from you.” She hissed before trotting back to her closet to grab a few more things.

“I have something important to tell you.”

Curiosity unwillingly built up on Miyoung’s chest and she found herself looking back. “To me? Important? First of all, I don’t even care about anything that has to do with you. I have a life, in case you don’t know.” She crossed her arms and leaned on the wall. Her chest pounded with anticipation but she kept her face straight and stiff.

Her rude response didn’t seem to falter the man who anxiously twisted the watch on his wrist, his unsteady gaze glued down to the carpeted floor avoiding her eyes. “What do you think about me and Sera?” He asked.

The question came unexpectedly. Miyoung didn’t know what to feel or how to react to it. Her chest squeezed along with her jaw. First of all, she’d only met the girl once in the three years that the two had been dating. What was she supposed to say? And why would it even matter what she would say? “Uh, let’s put it this way.” She tucked a clump of hair behind her ear and adjusted her cardigan as she walked back towards the bed, closer across him. “I don’t think about you and Sera at all. How about that?” She swallowed hard as she realized that her tone might have been way too stern. Much sterner than she had planned in her head.

Unfamiliar emotions surfaced in and she found herself holding her breath for a moment as she waited for his reaction.

Kyungsoo closed his eyes shut, a lopsided grin forming on his face. “I’m serious. Come on, just tell me. I’ll buy you your favourite ice cream sandwich if you tell me.” He insisted but his gaze remained distant.

A sharp and hissy sound slipped out of Miyoung’s mouth, her eyebrow arching angrily at the man. “I’m not a child, idiot. You can’t bribe me with snacks. What is wrong with you these days?” She walked past him, even threatening to punch his shoulder. Kyungsoo swiftly reacted and covered himself while lifting one leg to keep himself away from her reach.

“Ugh, you’re such a loser.” She groaned before stomping off to the other corner of the bedroom, to her bookshelf. She grabbed some of her favourite fiction books that she wanted to bring with her on the plane.

“What do you think if I—” Kyungsoo’s voice trembled into a nervous laugh. “—what if I propose to her?”

The whole room fell incredibly silent. Miyoung’s grip on her books tightened and she found herself having to lean against the bookshelf otherwise she’d fall. Propose? Did she hear it right? Doh Kyungsoo … wanted to propose to Sera? Her lids began moving on their own, blinking at an abnormal speed. With a clenched chin, she turned around to look at him.

She caught his gaze for one quick second until he broke away from the eye contact while stretching his arms, panic evident in his expression. “I was just curious about what you think. I mean, it’s just an idea of mine. I was, I don’t know, I guess … you’re just very—” His head shakily turned back to look at her again, nervously grinning and scratching his head. For a few moments, he had his lips all clamped in a tight line before he managed to continue. “It’s definitely not because it’s up to you. I mean, you’re freaking eighteen, what the hell do you know about it, right? It’s just that … you’d su—surely tell me the truth?” He stammered into his words but he had a lot to say, all of sudden.

For a fleeting second, Miyoung had forgotten how to speak. No words could explain how she felt inside after that re