~ Summer, The Year Before ~

I’ve been pacing back and forth inside my Mom’s room. My hair and makeup was already done but I’m still wearing my bathrobe. Hyejin and Mom were sitting on the bed, watching me pace for I don’t know how long already. I raised my hand and aimed my freshly and perfectly manicured nails to my mouth.

“Don’t bite your nails” Hyejin instantly scolded.

I stopped midway and immediately dropped my hand. Then I clasped my hands behind me and just bit the inside of my cheek while I continued to pace. Mom and Hyejin tried stopping me from pacing but they gave up a few minutes ago, or probably an hour ago, when I decided to never stop at all.

Mom was supposed to take photos of me and another photographer was taking photos of Yong in her room as well. Mom was taking photos of me when my hair and makeup was done, but when I started pacing and would never pose anymore, she stopped. She never bothered scolding me anymore and just took photos of Hyejin instead. When they saw me still pacing after the numerous photos of Hyejin taken, they slumped down on the bed and watched me pace in the room, feeling already tired just by watching me move restlessly in the room.

The last time I saw Yong and Nabi was this morning. Ever since Mom found out that I sneaked to Yong’s room last night, she never left her eyes on me. She scolded me earlier this morning when I just giggled at her, but when I realized that the wedding would happen today, I got anxious again. Not from my Mom’s wrath but from the wedding this time. She stopped scolding me and tried to lessen my jittering by comforting me. Her efforts weren’t effective though. It would have been better if I could see Yong and Nabi. They would surely comfort me right away.

“How many more hours left?” I asked nervously, gripping my hands behind me while I continued to pace.

“An hour and a half, which means you need to get dressed already,” Hyejin said as she stood up from the bed and walked closer to me.

An hour and half!

Before I could even start to panic, Hyejin held my shoulders and stopped me from moving. I gulped as I nervously looked into her eyes while she stared at me intently, almost glaring at me. She slowly lifted a single eyebrow as I gulped once again. The last time she looked at me like this was when she convinced me to ask someone out on a date, that we later know her name was Kim Yongsun. That was the time she pulled me out of my chair and dragged me towards Yong and her friends’ table.

“I think I need to pee” I whispered softly.

“You don’t need to pee. You need to change” she said.

“I… Hyej…” I stuttered then shut my mouth when she started to undress me. I honestly don’t need to pee, but I felt like peeing due to my nervousness.

She pulled the strings of my bathrobe, exposing my body. I’m only wearing underwear, black safety shorts and no bra. I should feel so exposed being so underdressed in front of people other than Yong, but I didn’t. Mom had obviously seen me before. Hyejin too. Our friendship has reached a level that it feels normal to see each other . Yong knows about this too and thankfully, she didn’t get mad at me. In fact, she used it as a weapon every time she and Hyejin teased me. They looked more like the best friends than Hyejin and me every chance they got to tease me.

Hyejin threw my bathrobe on the bed before Mom handed my wedding gown to her. I held onto her shoulders as I stepped into the gown. She pulled it up then I inserted my arms on the straps of my gown. My gown is an A-line spaghetti straps sweep train dress. The gown is made of lace and exposes a good amount of my back as well as my tattoos and stars. It also has a bowknot on the small of my back where my waist on my back meets the lace of the gown.

Yong and I picked each other’s gown design. She told me she wanted me to wear something like the peach dress I wore on our first date. I didn’t pick anything for her though. I just told her to surprise me. Although Yong has a vision of what my gown looked like, we still don’t know what each other’s gown exactly looked like.

My hair was styled in intricate curls and waves. I was too nervous to observe how the hairstylist did it. The only thing that I did was concentrate on my breathing. Then the hairstylist made a trail of white tiny flowers on my hair that was probably the highlight of this style. Without the flowers, the curls would look like a scripted mess. But with the flowers, it created beautiful patterns on my hair. Even though my hair was not styled up, there’s still a huge amount of my back that’s exposed.

Mom was behind me and Hyejin was in front of me while I stood still as they fixed my dress. Mom then rushed to grab her camera, leaving Hyejin to make sure that there are no mishaps on my gown. Hyejin grabbed my golden floral-heeled white pumps and placed it in front of me. She helped me onto my shoes next while Mom captured photos once again. She asked for me to pose for her once I had already worn my heels. I indulged her a couple of shots before I started pacing once again.

“Wheein…” Mom whispered exasperatedly as she sighed heavily.

Hyejin stopped me from pacing and reached a hand on my shoulder. “Stop” she said as she glared at me again. We’re back to how we stared at each other earlier again.

“I’m nervous,” I said to her as I saw Mom standing beside Hyejin.

Mom rubbed a comforting hand on my arm while Hyejin raised the bouquet of white magnolia flowers. I gulped and sighed heavily before I reached for the flowers. I closed my fingers around the flowers’ stem and gently pulled it towards me but Hyejin held it firmly in her hand.

“Do you want to do this?” she asked, eyebrows furrowing a little bit.

“Of course” I whispered to her weakly.

“Or do you want me to call off this wedding because you don’t look like you’re ready”

“What?! No!” I exclaimed. I cleared my throat before I looked at her intently. “I’m ready,” I said to her, my voice sounding stronger than earlier.

Hyejin broke into a huge smile next before she nodded her head at me. Mom did the same as well, making me smile at them as I slowly relaxed. Hyejin would usually give me this kind of pep talk. The kind of pep talk that would force me out of my funk and would surprisingly get rid of my nervousness.

Back when she dragged me towards Yong’s table the first time we met, she did something like this as well. I was ready and I even told her that I would ask Yong out on a date for as long as she’ll help. Hyejin instantly agreed without a microsecond of hesitation. I thought I was not nervous anymore until I saw Yong looking towards our direction at that time. My nervousness exploded all over me again, but Hyejin was determined. Without her persistence, this wedding wouldn’t be happening right now.

Hyejin moved to hug me, distancing her face away from mine to not ruin both our hairs and makeups. My best friend looked beautiful today too. She let her hair flow past her shoulders in its natural curls, making the highlights in her hair more prominent.

“I’m really happy for you and Yong” she whispered.

“Thank you. We wouldn’t be here without your help” I whispered back to her. “I could not express how grateful I am for all of your help, Hyej” I said to her sincerely.

She suddenly pulled away from me, breaking the hug, as she fanned herself and said, “Okay. Let’s save those heartwarming speeches later. Let’s not ruin our makeup. Okay?”

I just chuckled and I shook my head at her.

We heard a sudden knock, making us face towards the direction of the door as the door opened. Dr. Song’s head popped from the side of it. He smiled so wide at me before he hurriedly moved towards me, closing the door behind him and looking so crisp in his black suit and blue necktie.

“Wheein! Wow!” he exclaimed. “You look really beautiful” he whispered, his eyes studying my face as he moved forward and opened his arms wide to hug me, but Hyejin blocked him and stopped him from coming towards me.

“No hugging” Hyejin said, making Dr. Song scowl at her.

“Why?” he asked, clearly disappointed.

“You might ruin her makeup. You might step over her dress” Hyejin argued, pouting at Dr. Song.

Dr. Song scoffed at Hyejin before I said, “We should take pictures together. All of us”

Another round of pictures were taken again; photos with me and Dr. Song, photos with me, Mom and Dr. Song, and photos with all four of us. Dr. Song gave another round of compliments at me and assured me that Yong would love how I look right now before he exited our room. He said that he wanted to check on Yong as well.

A couple minutes after Dr. Song left, we heard another knock again. This time, it’s Irene who went inside the room, which made me nervous all over again. Seeing Irene is an indication that the wedding is about to start now.

“Whee… Oh wow…” Irene whispered, her eyes running from my head down to my toes then back up to my face as she walked inside the room. “Wow” she repeated again while I just gulped nervously.

“You’re feeling nervous all over again,” Hyejin said exasperatedly.

“I am! It’s not like I could control my emotions!” I said, equally as agitated as her while my palms started to feel sweaty. “But at least it's a good indication that my brain is still functioning well enough to regulate my perception and reactions to…”

“I know! Now, stop it. You’re not the only one who attended med school here” she said, bringing tissues with her as she walked towards me while Mom and Irene just chuckled at us. “Palms” she said.

I opened one palm towards her while I held the bouquet in one hand then she wiped the sweat off my palm. We knew each other’s reactions to nervousness. I pace while Hyejin would just zone out. I wanted to bite my nails while Hyejin would snap her fingers repeatedly, and so on. The only time that we don’t feel nervous when we should feel nervous is during surgeries. A life is at stake during those surgeries. We couldn’t afford to be nervous during those times.

“I’m here to tell you that the ceremony is about to start” Irene said while Hyejin tried to dry my palm off from sweat. “You need to move to the garden first then Yong would follow so you wouldn’t see each other. And by the way, wow… You look really beautiful. Yong is already jealous that I get to see you now before her'' Irene said, chuckling at herself.

Mom stood beside before she whispered, “I’ll get to Yong then”

We’ve agreed that Mom would walk Yong to the aisle while Dr. Song would walk me since Yong’s parents couldn’t be here with us today. Yong insisted that my Mom should just walk me, but me and Mom insisted otherwise. She’s closer to my Mom more than she’s close to Dr. Song, and I know Mom would love to do it as well. Yong is like a daughter to her already even before we got married. I also like that Dr. Song would walk beside me, so there was really no problem with my proposed setup at all.

“Tell her don’t back out. Make sure she won’t back out, Mom” I worriedly said to her, making everyone in the room laugh. “Tell her that I’m excited to see her too. Also, tell Nabi that Mama misses her already” I said, pouting at my Mom.

“I will,” Mom said, still laughing at me while squeezing my shoulder before she walked out of the room.

I turned to look at Irene next just as Hyejin finished wiping my other palm before I asked her, “How’s Yong and Nabi? How does she look? Do you think she’ll like my gown and hair?”

I pouted at Irene when she just smiled at me. “Come on…” I whined at her. “It’ll help me ease my nerves if you’ll answer my questions” I mumbled softly stomping my foot from nervousness and frustration.

Irene shook her head and grinned at me before she said, “She’s just as equally as nervous as you. She’s been zoning out from time to time but Nabi helped distract her”

“Nabi should've stayed with me” I muttered under my breath before I clicked my tongue. I looked at Irene again and motioned for her to continue.

She chuckled again before she said, “She already loved you, Wheein. Of course, she’ll definitely love how you look gorgeous today. And I like that you’re fully displaying your tattoos and scars too. Yong would love you even more”

“Are you sure?” I asked her while my eyebrows furrowed from worry.

“I am” she said confidently while she nodded her head.

Hyejin clapped her hands, bringing our attention to her, before she said, “Now that we answered this bride’s questions, we should move out already. Yeah?”

“We shall” Irene said, walking towards the door and opening it for me while Hyejin offered a hand to me to help me walk. “Please go to your assigned position while I fetch Dr. Song for you. No peeking, okay?” Irene said as I walked out of the room with Hyejin walking beside me.

“Okay…” I whispered before I released a shaky breath out to calm myself down.

“All the guests are already in the garden. Good luck, Wheein. Let’s have a lovely wedding, shall we?” she said excitedly, waving her hand at me as she walked towards Yong's room to fetch her.

“Okay” I said, slowly feeling excited as I gently waved the bouquet at her since my other hand was holding onto Hyejin’s. I turned to Hyejin after I held the bouquet to my chest and asked her, “You brought my phone, right?” 

“Yup” she said, popping the p of the word and looking so calm and relaxed. “Don’t worry, Whee. You have the best maid of honor” she said, winking at me and squeezing my hand.

“Shut up” I said, playfully rolling my eyes at her. “We’re just equally clumsy. I don’t know how we managed to become neurosurgeons at this point” I said, making us both chuckle.

“My best friend's getting married… My best friend's getting married…” she chanted excitedly, dancing beside me and boosting me with excitement while we walked towards the garden where I'll finally call Yong Mrs. Jung soon.

“Wheein, you’re up now” Irene said, awaking my nerves once again.

Dr. Song smiled at me and offered his arm towards me. I blew out a long breath and held the bouquet of magnolias on my hand before I linked my arm with his and stood beside him. He placed a light kiss on my temple before he walked me out from our waiting position to the center aisle.

“With what you experienced in your previous relationship before Yong, I thought I wouldn’t see the day that you will be in a relationship again. How much more to be married, right?” he said amusingly, softly laughing his usual belly laugh.

I laughed with him while we slowly neared the center aisle before I said, “Never imagined it as well”

He sighed heavily beside me as he suddenly said, “Thank you”

I raised my eyebrows as I looked at him, “What for?”

“For letting me walk you. I…” he stuttered, his voice breaking while I pouted at him.

“Stop it…” I whispered, linking my arm tighter with him before I leaned my head on his shoulder. “I should be the one thanking you. For being a father to me and Hyejin when we attended med school. For giving up adopting Nabi so we could have her” I said to him before I pulled away from his shoulder to look at him. I slid my hand from his forearm to his hand and linked our fingers together while I chuckled at his contorted face. He's really trying his best not to cry as I smiled so wide at him. “Thanks, Pa” I said.

His lips trembled so hard while his shoulders started to shake as well. Then I saw a single tear escape from the corner of his eye, making me chuckle at him. I squeezed his hand while still giggling at him while he hurriedly wiped his eyes. I’ve never seen him cry before. I find that so fascinating because I couldn’t believe I was able to make him cry happy tears right now.

I released his hand and held his forearm again as I whispered, “Stop crying. We’re about to see Mom and Yong now”

Yong and I will be meeting in the center aisle. Mom would present Yong to me and so will Dr. Song for me to Yong. After that, Yong and I will be walking together on the center aisle towards the elevated part of the garden, like a mini stage, where the officiant is waiting for us.

The moment we turned the corner, I immediately saw Mom and Yong walking towards us. I gulped and unintentionally squeezed Dr. Song’s arm when my eyes landed on Yong. My eyes were just on Yong right now. I saw our guests earlier standing and eyes towards us but now, it felt like my eyes were meant to just look at Yong.

Yong’s wearing a classic off-shoulder floor-length wedding gown. The lace sleeves cover her entire arm up to her wrists. Her hair was kept tidy in a low ponytail and soft wavy curls. The scar on her head was perfectly hidden by her hair. I think the flower crown that she’s wearing helped keep it subtle. Her scar is not that obvious when she ties her hair, but she has to loosen the tie so her hair wouldn’t stretch and reveal the bald spot from her scar. She’s holding a bouquet of sunflowers in comparison to my white magnolias.

Yong smiled at us the moment our eyes met and I instantly smiled back at her as well. I heard Dr. Song chuckled beside me, making me blink from staring too much at Yong, while he tightened his arm on me.

“You’ll get to her, Wheein. You don’t need to be in a hurry. This is your wedding after all” he said, still laughing at me.

When he said that, I stopped and realized I was one step ahead of him already. I was unconsciously moving to Yong as soon as I could. I continued walking again, walking slowly this time, when he was already beside me while I pouted at him, making him laugh louder.

I squeezed his arm as I whispered, “Stop it. You’re gathering everyone’s attention to us”

“Of course everyone’s attention is at us. It’s your wedding” he argued, widening his eyes at me. “I’d love to pinch your cheeks so bad and ruffle your hair. I’ll just do that next time when your wedding’s over already”

“No. Not happening” I retorted and pouted at him. He would always pinched my cheeks so hard that it would always make me wiggle from pain.

“Stop pouting. People are taking pictures of you. Do you want them to see you pouting during your wedding?”

“Then stop teasing me” I said, dropping my pout and looking at Yong again who was raising her eyebrows while smiling so wide, amused at us.

“I wasn’t teasing you,” Dr. Song whisper-shouted.

“Who’s teasing you?” Yong asked, chuckling softly when we were already standing in front of each other. Dr. Song and I were busy arguing that we didn't realize we already reached the first end of the center aisle. 

“No one” Dr. Song and I said at the same time while I shook my head.

“Why are you two not behaving properly? You’re both scowling the whole time you two walked towards us” Mom scolded, making Yong laugh again.

“Sorry…” Dr. Song and I whispered at the same time while I bent my head low this time.

“Whee…” I heard Yong whisper then saw her hand reaching to me. I smiled at her and held her hand as I walked closer to her. I bent my head down and softly kissed her shoulder, smelling her sweet scent, before we stood beside each other.

“Behave, Wheein” Mom reminded me again before Yong and I started walking towards the front.

I squeezed her hand tightly as I whispered, “… You look beautiful, Yong”

“Don’t let your daughter hear you curse,” she warned, squeezing my hand back.

“That’s why I’m whispering. By the way, where’s Nabi?” I asked then scanned my eyes on the crowd around us.

That’s when I noticed all of our guests smiling faces directed at us, making me instantly blush from shyness. Everyone’s wearing blue. The guests were wearing something in varying shades of blue but all the bridesmaids and the maids of honor were wearing the same color of blue. Yong told me that Nabi picked the color when they were planning before, which is perfect because it matched the different shades of blue, violet and pink of the surrounding flowers in the garden.

“Oh, Nabi’s with Hyejin” I whispered absentmindedly as soon as I spotted them at the front.

She was shyly hiding behind Hyej