A/N: In case you missed it in the foreword, I would like to remind again that Resilia: The Resilient Mind is a sequel to Endura: The Enduring Heart. If you haven't read Endura yet, I strongly suggest to read that first before reading this to understand what has happened and what's going to happen in this story. This Prologue already contains spoilers to Endura, so to avoid spoiling yourself, please read Endura first. THANK YOU!!!

I couldn’t see anything. Everything was dark. Then suddenly, I heard a really loud bang on my left side followed by an equally loud sound from my far right. My body felt like it got shifted and pushed sideways just as I heard those loud banging sounds. Shortly after those loud banging sounds came crashing sounds all over me; in front of me, on my right and on my left. The loudest crash came from my left, but the crash from my right haunted me the most.

The darkness in my vision slowly started to fade away. I would sigh in relief for being able to see again, but I’d rather like to see the darkness than the first thing I see at that very moment. I’d rather stay in the dark than be in that shed of light.

Yong wasn’t moving in front of my eyes. Her head was hanging low in front of her, a few inches away from the dashboard, while her body was leaning forward. She would’ve hit her head on the dashboard if it weren’t for the seatbelt that was holding onto her weight. Her arms were hanging on either side of her. I couldn’t see her face because her hair was covering it, but I could imagine her eyes were closed.

“Yong!” I wanted to shout but nothing came out of me. “Yong!” I tried again but my voice wouldn’t really come out of my mouth. Rather, it seemed to be pushed right back to my throat. I shouted and shouted repeatedly, feeling so frustrated why I couldn’t produce any sound at all. I could feel my throat aching from my numerous attempts, but not a single sound came out of me.

I moved forward. If I couldn’t call out to her, I might as well reach for her. However, when I attempt to move, I’m incapable of moving my limbs. I looked down and saw that I’m bleeding heavily. I couldn’t feel any pain though, but I could see a lot of blood coming out from my entire left arm and somewhere in the left lumbar region down to the left iliac region of my abdomen. I tried to raise my hand to cover it, but just like my voice shouting earlier, I simply couldn’t do it even though there were no straps or binds that were stopping me to move. I started to panic. I don’t know why I can’t get Yong’s attention or move towards her.

I looked up to her again. My heart picked up its pace when I saw blood coming out of her head. It feels like I’m frozen at where I am and all I could do is look at Yong bleeding right in front of me. When the bleeding never stopped, something clicked in me. I moved, thrashed, and tried to run and just get to hear. I screamed and cried out her name. They were all useless. She's just an arm's reach but she seemed so far away because of my incapability to go to her. It’s also kind of weird how I could feel my tears falling down my face and the ache in my heart, but I couldn’t feel anything else from my body. Still, I never stopped all my attempts to get to Yong.

Suddenly, everything turned black again. I could still feel the pain in my chest and my tears from what I just witnessed earlier. I breathed heavily as I tried to make sense of what was happening. I ran my tongue on my lips, wetting it, before I gulped and breathed heavily as I felt so disoriented.

The darkness was gone again and I still wished how I’m just blinded instead of seeing what’s happening in front of me. In front of me is still Yong. This time, she was clutching her head with both of her hands while her face contorted from extreme pain. I could hear the agony in her voice, which made my lungs compress tighter and the pain in my chest greater.

“Yong!” I called out to her, surprised that I could hear my voice now. But it gave me hope that maybe she'll hear me this time. I called out to her repeatedly but when I tried to move, I still couldn’t do it. I still couldn’t feel my limbs, so I tried everything I could to get her attention. “Yong! I’m here! Can you hear me?” I said to her, but she was ignoring me as her agonies intensified. “Yong! Yong! Look at me! I’m right here in front of you!” I desperately called her but it all fell to deaf ears. The more I shouted, the more my voice hurt and cracked. The more I screamed out her name, the more I sounded and felt so desperate. And the more she ignored my calls, the more hopeless I got.

Her painful cries tortuously stabbed my heart. Her loud groans encouraged the tears on my eyes in an unending flood down my face. Her physical pain caused extreme emotional pain to me and I couldn’t bear seeing her like this. I need to move. I need to go to her. I need to rush her to the hospital. I need to save her because I know she needs me.

Her groans and cries stopped when one of her hands clutched her stomach. Her other hand rested on her knee as she bent her body forward before she vomited. Her condition is getting worse and I hate it so much how I couldn’t even help her. How I could never ease her pain right now. 

“Yong!” I desperately shouted once again.

Then suddenly her vomiting stopped. Her body lurched forward. She landed on her own spit while her body convulsed. She’s having an epileptic fit, an indication that her condition worsened.

“No! Yong! Help! Is there anyone who could help us? Help, please! Please… Yong…” I shouted, my voice breaking as I desperately looked for help.

I thrashed, moved and kicked my legs. I tried everything that I could do to go to Yong. But I couldn’t.

I woke up halfway before I fell from the couch. My face was towards the floor while I desperately tried to stop my body from falling. I wanted to move my arms and legs, but they all fell numb while I was lying down in an uncomfortable position on the couch. I just closed my eyes and moved my face away just a second before my body fell hard on the floor.

“Ow…” I groaned as I curled myself in a fetal position while I let the pain subside.

I released a heavy sigh after a few seconds before I wiggled my arms and legs to wake them all up. I sighed once again before I pushed myself up. I held a hand on the couch as I groggily stood up. Once I was standing upright, I brushed my hands on my pants and sleeves, dusting my clothes clean.

I rubbed my eyes off of sleep next, discovering that my cheeks were wet from my tears. These must’ve been from my dream. I could even detect my throat aching, now that I realized that everything was just a dream.

Well, they’re both my dream and partly my reality.

I could feel myself tearing up once again. I rubbed my eyes using the sleeves of my hoodie before I blinked my eyes rapidly. I coughed from the ache and dryness of my throat. I dropped my hands while I still blinked my eyes to stop myself from crying again. I closed my eyes next and furrowed my eyebrows before I released huge breaths out as I calmed myself. I slapped my palms on my cheeks gently, feeling the coldness from the metal bands of my wedding and engagement rings.

I sighed once again before I opened my eyes and turned my head to the side. I groggily walked towards the bed and moved around it to sit down on the chair beside it. I was sitting here a while ago, but I could feel the chair was still a little bit warm. I glanced at the clock and sighed when I noticed that I didn’t even reach half an hour of sleep.

I turned my head towards Yong’s sleeping face before I grabbed her arm. I lifted it up and kissed her palm. I gently laid it down on the bed before I stood up and bent down to kiss her forehead over her bandage and then her cheeks next, careful not to hit the oxygen tube attached to .

I moved my chair closer to her face before I sat down on it. I lifted her hand up once again and placed it on my cheek before I closed my eyes and leaned on her palm, feeling the metal bands from her wedding and engagement rings this time.

“You're laying down on a hospital bed again” I whispered, hoping that she could hear me. “And I’m here again on this chair, waiting for you to wake up” I added before I sighed then kissed her wrist. “We’re back again in this position, Yong”

Today marked the third day of Yong being unconscious. The third day that I’m still waiting for her to wake up. I’ve been into this situation before. My experience of almost four months of waiting for her to finally be conscious two years ago didn’t prepare me for this second time at all. It’s not as easy as before. It’s even more difficult now.

I was able to get over not having nightmares after the accident. Now, they haunted me again. I’m starting to blame myself all over again. I’m starting to feel my guilt slowly making itself known. I was able to overcome it before, but after what happened, I have no resolve in me to stop it from coming up. After all, this is all my fault.

Yong receiving another brain surgery is all my fault. Yong lying down unconscious on the hospital bed again is all my fault. Yong suffering is all my fault. The effects of her injury will be all my fault too. I didn’t even try to stop my guilt from showing up or from letting myself haunted by nightmares again because this is all my fault. Again.

It would be so easy for other people to tell me that I shouldn’t do this again. That I would just be wasting my months of hard work not to be in this place again. The thing is, there is no other person to blame than me. Maybe Yong would somehow convince me that everything’s okay, and that what happened wasn’t my fault. But Yong is not awake. Not yet. So I have succumbed to my darkness once again.

I kissed her palm before I closed my eyes and rested my lips on her wrist just to feel her pulse. I need to remind myself that