I fixed my things right away and placed my phone and wallet back into my bag. Then I stood up and removed my coat before hanging it on my coat hanger. Since Yong wanted to pick me up today, I wanted to be ready before she’d reach here so she wouldn’t wait anymore. I think she’d be bringing Nabi with her too since she couldn’t leave our daughter inside the house by herself.

I furrowed my eyebrows when I heard a knock on my door. Yong doesn’t knock when she gets here anymore. My patients are usually the ones knocking on the door, so I’m confused why I’m still entertaining patients when my shift already ended.

“Come in,” I called out to whoever was on the other side of the door as I moved to sit back on my chair again to turn off my computer.

“Wheein…”

I whipped my head when I heard the familiar voice of Sunmi, confused as to why she’s here. She stood by the door, fidgeting with her clutch, while she chewed her bottom lip.

From the years that I know her, from the years that we were together, I could never associate the word nervous or anxious to Sunmi. She’s always confident and direct, which was a trait I admired back when we were dating. It was also the trait that I ended up disliking the most when I found out she’s so confident in cheating on me for half the time that we were together while still having the guts to kiss me and say that she loves me.

“My shift is already done. If you want me to check you, you have to ask for…”

“I’m not here to have a consultation. I’m here for something else” she said nervously, cutting me.

My eyebrows furrowed as I said, “I think you’re well aware that I’m already married, right?”

She chuckled as she waved a hand before she took a couple of steps forward, stepping further into my office. “I know and I’m not here to ruin your marriage or try to get back to you.” She released a shaky breath as she went back to fidgeting once again before I heard her clear . “I’m here to apologize”

“Apologize?” I asked, my eyebrows dipping low from confusion.

“I know this might be insignificant for you, Wheein, but to me, it is. When I came here last year, it was because I wanted to apologize to you. I just didn’t expect Hyejin to slap me. I also didn't know that I slept with one of your friends. I do deserve the slap though” she said, chuckling nervously while I'm still confused why she’s doing this.

“Why are you doing this now?”

“I wanted to change. I have no intention of winning you back. I'm doing this for myself” Sunmi hurriedly said when she saw me shake my head. “Let me explain first, Wheein” she begged.

“Make it quick” I said to her while she nodded her head right away.

“You were the last person I was in a serious relationship with. You were also the most recent person I love. Like genuinely loved. Again, I did not come here to take you back. After you broke up with me and called on my bull act, I was never in a relationship with anyone anymore and just kept on sleeping with random strangers. The last person I slept with was your friend. What was her name again? The blonde one?”

“Byul” I supplied for her, still not sure if I should believe her or not. But when I stared at her eyes, I couldn’t see a hint of insincerity from her. I couldn’t even see the confident Sunmi I used to know before.

“Byul. Yes, her.” She gulped nervously before she sighed and whispered, “ Her girlfriend found out that she was sleeping with me but she has no recollection of what happened the night before. Instead of shouting or slapping at me, she looked so devastated and even cried in front of me, asking why I did that to her. That I made her break a promise of taking care of her girlfriend.” She smiled sadly, her eyes on the brink of crying, before she looked at me. “And in that moment, I remembered when you cried in front of me. You weren’t even wailing or lashing out at that time, Whee. You were just silently crying and repeatedly asking me why. Repeatedly questioned yourself what you did wrong that made me betray you”

She closed her eyes and hurriedly turned around to wipe her tears while having a difficult time breathing evenly. I stood up and grabbed a box of tissue then handed it to her as I guided her to sit on the bench. I wheeled the chair near to me and sat across from her while she tried to compose herself.

Sunmi was the first person I loved, romantically speaking, but she made me hate her and those people who are cheaters because of what she did to me. But that doesn't mean I’m heartless to just laugh at her right now when she seems to be genuine. I guess over time, that hate towards her just turned into indifference.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying right now after all I did to Byul, and most especially to you” she said, her voice still shaking but her crying has slowly turned calmer now.

“It’s okay,” I whispered.

“I didn’t learn after you broke up with me but when I’m reminded of it, I think that was what triggered everything. That was my wake up call to start and change. I’ve been so lonely and I think this was my punishment after everything that I did” she said while I just nodded my head at her, telling her that I’m still listening.

“I couldn’t turn back the time, Whee. I’m sorry for everything.” She suddenly stood up, making me stand up as well while I watched her bow in front of me. “I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you.” She stood straight again and smiled at me. Despite the slight puffing of her eyes, she definitely looked calmer now. “I’m really happy for you”

I offered her a small smile as I said, “Thank you”

“Thank you for making me do this. I’ve been earning some courage to come here to apologize but I ended up backing out last minute” she said, chuckling softly at herself.

“That’s so not you” I said, chuckling with her. I never knew I needed this as well. Maybe that was the reason why Yong said that she needed to apologize to Byul after what happened to them. She needed that sense of closure.

She reached a hand for me to shake and I didn’t hesitate to reach for it and shook her hand. “I don’t think we could ever be friends though” she said, smiling sadly at me.

I nodded my head, agreeing with her, as I said, “Old lovers could never be friends”

“I’m just relieved that you’re not looking at me like you wanted to kill me”

“I never knew I needed to hear your apology too” I admitted to her while we’re still smiling and shaking each other’s hand.

At that moment, the door to my office suddenly opened. Sunmi and I jumped away from each other, startled from it, while we dropped our hands as we turned towards the direction of the door.

I gulped hard as my eyes met Yong’s glare once again. Her eyes bounced between Sunmi and me while her eyebrows furrowed, surely already assuming something that didn’t actually happen. I saw her jaw tensed as her gaze hardened and landed on me again.

“I better go. Thank you, Wheein. It was wonderful to see you again” Sunmi said while I could only nod at her. Sensing the sudden tension in the room, she scrambled to move out of the room, bowing at me and Yong as she headed out of my office.

“Mama!” Nabi shouted cheerfully, gathering my attention to her as she ran towards my direction.

I smiled at her but it could never reach my eyes, knowing I’ll be receiving another scolding from Yong. I’m starting to get nervous again. I’m nervous from whatever reaction I’m going to receive from Yong and nervous for myself if I could handle it or not.

I lifted Nabi in my arms when she reached me and kissed her cheek repeatedly before I hugged her tight, gathering strength from my daughter once again.

Nabi gently patted my back as she said, “Mama, let’s go now. I’m hungry already”

I sighed deeply before I smiled at her. “Is that so, baby? We better hurry up and go back home then.” I placed Nabi back on the floor before I walked to Yong and kissed her cheek. The only reason why she’s allowing me to do this is because Nabi’s here with us. If not for our daughter, she would’ve walked out of my office without waiting for me at all.

“Hurry up” she whispered between clenched teeth, slightly pulling away from me.

I nodded my head before I turned around and grabbed my bag from my table. I carried it with me before I smiled at Nabi who’s reaching for my hand. I held it then she walked us close to her Mommy and grabbed Yong’s hand with her other hand.

I closed my office behind before we walked together out of the hospital. We smiled and greeted the nurses and doctors who passed by us. They were saying how perfect we looked, all three of us together, while I tried to return their smiles without showing that bitter feeling inside me. I could see Yong doing the same too.

The three of us walking together hand-in-hand does not reflect perfection at all. From an outsider’s perspective, we might look like one happy and perfect family. But with what’s happening between me and Yong right now, we are far from perfect at all.

All three of us walking hand-in-hand was the exact picture of our current state. Nabi’s the only one who’s holding me and Yong together right now. Nabi is the only reason why Yong is not scolding me and why I kept on smiling. I believe Nabi is the only one who’s keeping us together at this point.

I chose to sit Nabi on my lap on our ride back to the penthouse. I was hugging her tightly while feeling that invisible wall between me and Yong. While feeling how distant my wife is to me right now.

We’ve been in this position before. The last time was entirely my fault and I admit to that. This time, I know it’s her emotions and anxiousness that’s acting up all over again. And based on how hard she’s gripping the steering wheel right now, I know she’s been overcome by her emotions once again.

“Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Was that your patient earlier? The one who was in your office when we got there?”

“No, baby. She’s someone Mama knew before,” I said to Nabi, knowing that Yong was listening to our conversation.

“Why was she there?” Nabi asked curiously and I took this as an opportunity to hopefully explain to Yong what exactly happened before they arrived. If she’ll believe me is something that’s very uncertain.

“She was there to apologize to Mama” I said it slowly, my attention on my peripheral view and not on my daughter.

“Did she hurt you Mama?” Nabi asked, turning around on my lap to pout at me.

I leaned down to kiss Nabi’s pouting lips before I answered, “Yes, but that was before and she came to apologize”

I heard Yong scoff after that while I just sighed and pulled Nabi back to me. I rested my chin on my daughter’s head and closed my eyes, not sure how I’m going to survive later.

When we arrived back in the penthouse, Yong told me to shower and change while they set the table. I followed obediently, hoping that it would make her calm down and control her emotions. I changed into my pajamas once done with showering then headed towards the dining table.

Yong and Nabi were enjoying themselves, smiling at each other, as they set the table while I just wished Yong’s smile could be directed to me once in a while. When they saw me coming, her smile instantly dropped and she was back to glaring at me when Nabi wasn’t looking. I sighed and smiled at Nabi when she was excited to eat already, but my smile could never reach my eyes.

I don’t know for how long I could keep this up for my daughter. It felt too much already.

I was lying down beside Nabi, spooning her while I patted her side as I waited for her to fall asleep. Yong was washing the dishes and was probably in our bedroom already when I couldn’t see lights coming inside Nabi’s bedroom from the outside.

I honestly wanted to stay here with my daughter, but I also don’t want my wife to stay mad at me. We have resolved our issues everyday even though we fight everyday. I trust that we could resolve this one too.

When all I could hear were Nabi’s soft snores