~ Winter, Current Year ~

We allowed Nabi to stay with her biological father for two days and spend a night with him. We both know she wanted to spend more time with Mr. Lee but there’s still a part in me and Yong that doesn’t want to let go of her for too long. That everything would still be fine after this. That Nabi just needs time apart from us, hoping that it will cool her anger down.

Before Mr. Lee picked her up from the penthouse lobby, we checked if Nabi had other bruises and wounds on her body. We even took photos of it to present it to the school as evidence of bullying. Thankfully, she only has that huge bruise I accidentally touched last night.

I asked Yong to help me check Nabi’s wounds because I would surely break down if I’m going to face Nabi by myself. I might not do it properly, so Yong stayed with me while I kneeled in front of our daughter to check her.

There was this constant pressure in my chest the entire time Nabi was in front of me. She didn’t speak to us and we never forced her to. I couldn’t even look at her face without being reminded of what she said last night. The only reason why she was letting us check her is because we promised that she’d see her biological father after it. She was so close to us, but she seemed so far from me and her Mommy. There was this wall that was built in between us and we don’t know how to break or crossover that wall.

Once I was done checking her, I asked Yong to help her change before Mr. Lee picks her up while I rushed out of her bedroom, rapidly blinking my eyes that were still puffy from crying so hard last night. It was hard. It was purely torture being hated by my only daughter.

When it was time to send her off, Yong and I both accompanied her to the penthouse lobby. She wouldn’t even hold our hands. She probably hates us that much. She was excited while hugging the stuffed kitten while her stuffed puppy was left abandoned with her other toys, oblivious of the state of her Mommy and Mama.

Mr. Lee was already waiting in the lobby when we got there. I passed to him Nabi’s backpack and told him about the bruise on Nabi’s arm while Yong told him that we’ll get Nabi again tomorrow before school starts again. Mr. Lee worriedly stared at me and Yong, but we brushed it off and told him to take care of Nabi.

Mr. Lee offered a sad smile towards us and thanked us before he ushered Nabi out. Nabi never even spared a glance at us when they walked outside the building. She only said goodbye once and started telling her biological father the fun things she did in school. Things she never told us anymore.

I closed my eyes and gripped Yong’s hand, on the verge of tears for the hundredth time this day. Yong gently pushed me back towards the elevator. We held each other close the entire elevator ride back to our penthouse.

We used to be so eager and full of energy when we have the penthouse all to ourselves. It totally feels the opposite now.

I dragged myself straight to our bedroom and dropped myself on the bed, tired when all I ever did was stand and walk for a couple of minutes. I grabbed Yong’s pillow and hugged it as I curled myself in the middle of the bed.

“You haven’t had breakfast yet” Yong reminded me, patting my arm and coaxing me to get out of the bed.

I only shook my head and closed my eyes as I pushed my face on her pillow. I heard her sigh before I felt the bed shifted, dipping low behind me. Then her arms came next, holding me close around my waist, before I felt her lips right at the back of my head and her body directly on mine.

“Whee… You have to eat. At least just a couple of bites” she whispered behind me.

“Why does it feel like we lost her, Yong?” I placed the pillow on the bed before I turned around and faced my wife.

One of her hands went to my cheek, caressing it tenderly, while she looked directly into my eyes, reflecting what's left in me to feel right now; sadness. I moved closer to her and grabbed the hand that was still around me to hold it then held her wrist. I closed my eyes, unable to handle the sadness in her eyes.

“Why does it feel like we couldn’t have the Nabi that would never hesitate to express her love to us? Why does it feel like we couldn’t have our daughter back anymore?” I asked her, gulping as another flood of tears threatened to fall out of my eyes.

Her hold on my hand tightened while her thumb stopped rubbing my cheek and went to grip my shirt. I could hear her breaths turning shallow. I lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles one by one, trying to ease both our pain that we were feeling right now.

“We were so worried about losing our parental rights over her that we never noticed how she’s slowly drifting apart from us” Yong whispered weakly.

“Will we be able to take her back, Yong? What if she doesn't want to stay with us anymore? What if she wants to stay with her biological father?” I asked her. She pulled me closer to her and made me lean my face on her neck before she hugged me tightly. “What will happen to us after that?” I whispered softly, voicing the one thing I feared the most since last night. The only thing that’s bugging in my head and preventing me from sleeping last night.

She shook her head as she sighed deeply. Then I felt her lips on top of my head, kissing me there. “Let’s not think about that, Whee. Let’s not…” she whispered, her voice slightly trembling. “Let’s find a way to prevent that from happening.” She slightly pulled apart and cupped my cheek, tipping my chin up so I could look at her but I remained closing my eyes. She kissed both my closed eyelids before she whispered gently, “Look at me, Whee”

I relented and slowly opened my eyes to meet her gaze. The sadness in her gaze was replaced with determined ones.

“Mr. Lee promised to bring Nabi back here tomorrow and we don’t want her to witness what we feel right now. Let’s not give up yet when we still have the chance” she said confidently, her fiery gaze staring right back at me. “For now, let’s get ahold of ourselves and report to the school about the bullying that happened to our daughter. Try to stop it. This was the reason why she was able to say what she said yesterday. Our daughter loves us, Whee. Remember that”

As always, Yong is the voice of reason between us both. If she wasn’t here with me, I might've just stayed in this bed, curling in a fetal position and feeling helpless while I succumbed to my thoughts that were spiraling down really fast. I would have told myself a million times that I failed as Nabi’s mother and would easily let go of her without putting up a fight.

I sighed before I asked her, “What if she won’t come back?”, still hesitating that things will miraculously work for us.

“She will come back” she said determinedly, leaning forward to kiss my forehead before she hugged me tight.

“Okay…” I whispered, letting my wife hold me tightly.

She didn’t.

Nabi didn’t come back the day after. It was already Monday and there was still no sign of Nabi. What’s more worrisome is we couldn’t get a hold of Mr. Lee as well.

The university has called Yong. The hospital has called me. We answered the call only to say that we had an emergency. Neither one of us could go to work without the knowledge of where our daughter currently is. We called Mr. Lee multiple times but the call wouldn’t connect. We called Nabi’s school if our daughter was there but Nabi’s teacher told us that she was about to call us as well if Nabi couldn’t go to school today.

Yong and I were frantically changing right now to drive to Mr. Lee’s apartment. Something must’ve happened to him and Nabi if we couldn’t get any response or feedback from them.

“I’m packing Nabi’s clothes. Can you bring my phone and wallet with you?” I asked Yong as I hurriedly inserted my arms in the sleeves of my coat while rushing to Nabi’s bedroom.

“Okay. Bring a pair of shoes and socks for her too!” Yong called out from our bedroom.

I pushed Nabi’s bedroom door open and jogged to her closet. My mind was roaming everywhere that I had to stop for a second to think what I was doing inside my daughter’s bedroom while my heart was thumping louder from nervousness and worry.

“” I groaned, forgetting what I was supposed to do inside the closet.

When my mind finally cooperated, I hurriedly grabbed a pair of underwear and a pair of socks before grabbing a sweater, pants, and coat. I held all of her clothes to my chest before I bent down and snagged the first pair of boots my hand touched.

I rushed out of her closet then placed all the clothes I brought with me on the bed and dropped her boots beside the bed. I rushed back to her closet and searched for one of her backpacks that would fit all the clothes I brought with me.

Once I had Nabi’s backpack, I never bothered to rearrange the things that got scattered from my rushed movements and just headed back to my daughter’s bed. I grabbed her favorite stuffed puppy on my way there, thinking that she might need it. In case, she would be looking for it.

I ped the bag and stuffed all the clothes in there, not caring if it would get crumpled. I zipped it back and carried it with me as well as Nabi’s boots as I headed out of my daughter’s bedroom.

“Here. Pack this as well. It’s her chocolate milk” Yong said the moment I got out of Nabi’s bedroom.

She grabbed the boots from my hands so I could place the plastic tumbler inside the bag. “Anything else?” I asked, zipping the bag back before grabbing the boots from Yong. “Keys? Phones? Wallets?” I asked Yong while we both headed towards the front door.

I pushed my feet in my shoes, disregarding the laces and just pushed the door open, waiting for Yong to walk out first.

“I have everything with me already” she mumbled.

I closed the door and waited for the lock to click before I caught up with Yong. She repeatedly pressed the down button of the elevator, cursing under her breath and feeling both frustrated and impatient. I slung Nabi’s bag on my shoulder then reached out to hold Yong’s hand to stop her attempt to destroy the button.

She sighed and held my hand tightly. I started chewing my cheek while she rapidly stomped her foot while we glared at the elevator doors, wishing for it to open.

“Finally” Yong muttered between clenched teeth when we heard the bell from the elevator and saw the elevator doors open.

We scrambled to get inside the elevator and wasted no time pressing the button for the basement parking. Being inside the confined space of the elevator, I could hear both of our labored breaths. I lifted my arm and wiped my forehead with my coat sleeve when I noticed that I’m already sweating.

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily before I whispered under my breath, “Nabi is fine. Nabi will be fine,” trying to convince myself and calm myself down. I gulped when my heart started beating fast instead.

Yong suddenly squeezed my hand, making me look at her. She was running her fingers through her hair while chewing her bottom lip and her eyes moving everywhere, looking probably more nervous than me. I lifted both of our hands together and kissed the back of her hand before I moved closer to her and kissed her cheek this time.

“Nabi is fine. Nabi will be fine, Yong” I said to her, convincing both of us this time.

She nodded her head absentmindedly before she sighed heavily. “Nabi will be fine,” she whispered, repeating what I said to her. “… I’m nervous” she muttered, running her fingers through her hair.

I bent my head low, sighing heavily. “I would’ve driven us, but I don’t know if I could. I’m sorry, Yong” I whispered, ashamed of myself. It has been years since that accident and I still couldn’t sit behind the wheel.

She cupped my cheek and lifted my head to look at her. She gave me a reassuring smile before she moved forward and quickly kissed my lips. “You have nothing to apologize, Whee. You’ve done a good job already”

“Still… You looked far more distressed than I am right now. Between the two of us, I’m used to driving and had a lot of experience driving even on rough roads. Now…” I sighed again, unable to finish my statement.

“Are you underestimating my driving skills?” she asked teasingly, pinching my cheek and loosening the tension around us.

I pouted at her and shook my head. I smiled when I saw a small smile forming on her lips. “Nabi will be fine” I repeated once again while she nodded her head determinedly.

When the elevator doors opened, one would think that Yong and I were in a marathon or in a race. The bell in the elevator was like the gunshot that signals the start of the race. We never even planned to do it, but out of instinct, Yong and I both ran towards her car once we got the glimpse of the basement parking, feeling nervous once again. I almost tripped when I stepped on my shoelaces but managed to avoid it, having no idea how I stayed upright.

I opened the backseat door right away once Yong unlocked the car and placed Nabi’s boots and bag. Then I moved to get inside the passenger seat. Yong doesn’t even check if I’m okay, which she always does even after I got over my amaxophobia, and just moves the car forward once I have my seatbelt locked.

I lost track of the number of times I called Mr. Lee’s number. Not once did the call connected. It wouldn’t even ring once and just went straight to the automated voice. My thumb has even found a rhythm and was familiar with the action that I don’t have to look at my phone screen to know where to tap.

Yong has grown irritated and impatient beside me. I never tried to calm her down anymore because I’m as anxious as her. Every time the call wouldn’t connect she’d click her tongue and curse loudly.

When Yong’s phone suddenly rang on our way to Mr. Lee’s apartment, she almost hit the car we’re following in front of us when she watched me frantically search for her phone inside her purse. Luckily, she was able to step on the brakes when I noticed the car in front of us wasn’t moving anymore. Our hope was depleted right away when I saw it was just the university calling her again.

Yong cursed loudly again when we still have no clue where our daughter and her biological father is. I almost slammed Yong’s phone, but was able to stop myself and just gripped it tightly before I placed it back in her purse.

“Where the are they? Why is Mr. Lee not answering? I called nearby hospitals and police stations to see if there are any reports of a father and daughter in an accident, but there’s none!” I started rambling, not able to contain my frustrations anymore as I gripped my seatbelt tightly.

“We both have the same questions, Whee” Yong whispered, gritting her teeth hard while she glared on the road in front of us. I could see her knuckles turning white by how hard she was holding onto the wheel tightly.

The inside of the car was engulfed with our heavy breathing and frustrated sighs when we couldn’t have a single answer to our questions. When we couldn’t gain a single clue as to what happened to our daughter and her biological father or where they are.

I’m starting to drift to the negativity of my mind again, but I kept pushing hard and tried my best not to be swayed by these thoughts. I only want to see my daughter and know that she’s fine. Right now, I don’t care if she still hates us. Yong said we still have a chance to change that, but this. Not knowing and continuously wandering where she is is far more worrisome and alarming.

My eyes were still puffy from how hard I cried the night Nabi said she doesn’t want her Mommy and Mama anymore. Yong’s eyes were sporting the same puffiness in my eyes. We could never sleep properly and just drifted on and off from sleep. When Nabi didn't return yesterday, neither one of us could even get a wink of sleep, which was the cause of the bags under our eyes right now.

When we reached the apartment building, Yong parked the car haphazardly while I unbuckled my seatbelt the moment I got a sight of the building. I placed my phone inside Yong’s purse, zipped it close, and carried it with me while I prepared to climb down off the car the moment it stopped right away.

Yong hurriedly unfastened her seatbelt, groaning from frustration when she couldn’t remove it right away. I did it for her before she could destroy her seatbelt. We climbed out of the car right away and rushed towards the apartment building. Since we don’t know which floor or door number Mr. Lee is staying at, we went to the apartment manager instead.

I knocked on the door right away the moment we reached it. When we heard someone called out from the other side of the door, I pushed the door open as I wet my lips and gulped hard, trying to catch my breath.

“Good morning. We’re looking for Mr. Lee Juwon who’s staying in this apartment. We only know his address but he forgot to tell us which floor and room number he’s staying at. He’s the biological father of our adopted daughter. If you could help us, that would be wonderful” I rambled everything out really fast before I wiped my forehead with the back of my arm, sweating hard despite the cold weather.

I cleared my throat when he only furrowed his eyebrows at us. “We’re looking for Mr. Lee Juwon” I simply said when he didn't seem to understand my rambles earlier.

“Are you sure you have the correct address?” the apartment manager asked.

“Yeah…”

I hurriedly fished for my phone inside Yong’s purse. She held the purse for me while I frantically searched for the text that Mr. Lee sent to me that contains his contact information and address. When I found it, I showed the text to the manager and asked, “We got the address correct, right?”

He grabbed his glasses first from the table and wore it before he squinted his eyes at my phone screen to read the address. “You’ve reached the right building but there is no occupant in here that is named Lee Juwon. He must have typed in the wrong address” he said, removing his glasses and placing it on the table.

“Are you sure? Can you please check it for us?” Yong desperately asked.

The manager only shook his head sympathetically as he answered, “I have all the names memorized as well as their car’s plate numbers and the faces of their frequent visitors. I can assure you that there is no Lee Juwon staying here”

“Maybe he moved out” I suggested, feeling desperate as well.

“I’ve been this apartment manager for over thirty years. Haven’t heard of that name. I’m sorry” the manager said sincerely, sensing how stressed we are right now.

“Are there any apartment buildings around this street?” Yong asked while I looked at the apartment manager expectantly.

He shook his head and frowned at us. “I’m sorry” he whispered gently.

I could only nod my head at him while Yong whispered, “Thank you. I’m sorry for the trouble”

We moved back to Yong’s car again. I bent my head low and dragged my feet as I walked beside Yong. My shoulders dropped, my eyebrows furrowed, and my mind went blank, not sure what to do anymore. We have reached a de