“Your daughter isn’t here?”

 

Mr. Kim started to get tired after receiving the exact same question for one whole night. This event had already been going for hours, and Yeri is still the main topic of his conversation with his colleagues. Most of them have their own son on their hands so of course the presence of Yeri is the most anticipated. 

 

“These people don't seem to know that Yeri has her own public relationship.”

 

What Mrs. Kim said to his ear, also a little bit bothering him. These people know but they don’t even care, in the face of money, love almost has zero value. It reminds him of how he acted in the past.

 

“Jungkook isn’t a public figure.”

 

“That’s true, I wish Yeri was here so she can accompany him, he looked so lonely.”

 

Jungkook has been doing the hardest work for this project, it is not a secret that the young man is a workaholic on a serious level. His ambitions and skills are proportional with the result he gets, which also makes him satisfied even though he knows he worked harder than anyone because he’s trying to distract himself from something. 

 

“That kid hates this kind of event.”

 

Mrs. Kim can not deny what her husband said because she knows it better than anyone, Yeri is rather paid a huge amount of money instead of getting dragged into something like this.

 

“We booked you a room, so you can rest after this ended.”

 

She talked while walking toward Jungkook who also seemed to be looking for her. The relationship they have with him right now is really good. She can not help but to treat him like her own son, regardless how awkward it is. Not because he is Yeri’s boyfriend, but because he treats her well despite everything her family did to him in the past. 

 

“I can just go home.”

 

“Your apartment is far from here.”

 

Jungkook lift his face to Mr. Kim who’s totally sure that he needs that room. In fact, he really is tired these days, working on this and the event.

 

“Unless you want to stay with us again.”

 

The last few days he's been working on this, he’s actually staying at Mr. Kim’s home so he can work on it with him effectively. It does feel ridiculous to spend his time there when Yeri isn’t with him. But it wasn’t really bad. It is efficient for his work hours.

 

“I’ll take the room.”

 

But the job is done means he has no reason to stay again. Mrs. Kim is shoving the key to his hands before she gives him a hug.

 

“Are you leaving?” 

 

It is something she always does, he is already getting used to receiving it, it feels weird if she didn’t do that instead. But the fact that they’re ready to leave baffled him.

 

“This is your party, you did all of this.”

 

“With your money and resources.”

 

“And I gained money back from this.”

 

Mr. Kim is patting his shoulder while laughing, he knows for sure that he worked well so that the project is a success and Mr. Kim took all the benefits.

“True that.”

 

He takes a sip of his wine while give him a smile and sending them off to the exit door, of course with another series of hug and small but endearing conversation with Mrs. Kim, she told him to not miss his food, to not drink too much, and to not stay up late, to eat his medicine on time, and to come with her for a picnic this weekend, and also to visit Sooyoung’s grave.

 

“I’ll call you.”

 

He said that while waving his hands to them and getting back to socializing with the guests. He’s been doing this for his whole life, but tonight his heart feels lighter and happier.

 

***

 

Jungkook is in the middle of discussing something with a few of his colleagues, wine on his hands, smile on his face, he looked completely stunning.

 

“What was I thinking?”

 

Yeri is definitely not thinking this through, it’s been a month since her last night with Jungkook and not even once he told her that he wants to see her again. So for her to come here without any notice is a little bit crazy.

 

“Where are they anyway?”

 

Her eyes are searching for Mr and Mrs. Kim, at least they can be a reason why she showed up but she failed to find them. 

 

“Excuse me, miss.”

 

Her hair is not longer anymore so it is useless even though she’s trying to hide her face when someone is talking to her.

 

“Ah.. yes?”

 

“A drink?”

 

A waitress offered her a drink so she took it fast, trying so hard to act natural and normal.

 

Yeri’s already giving up searching for her parents and now focusing her eyes to Jungkook, to everything he does, to every expression he makes. He’s going around talking to people she doesn’t even know, man, woman, old, young, everyone.

 

He never lost his smile as he’s walking around and talking to them, he looked fine. Totally fine, or even better compared to when she saw him a month ago. She feels a hit on her heart to see that her being gone probably works like magic to Jungkook’s life. He can be done with his job, doing it extremely well, successful, and most importantly, happy.

 

“Ms. Kim?”

 

She was this close to leaving when Jungkook’s secretary came to her with a bright smile on her face. She got caught.

 

“Oh..hi.”

 

She looks awkward because she gets scared that Jungkook will find out about her who came here, trying to ruin his night when he didn’t even ask for it.

 

“Why aren’t you coming in?”

 

“I’m looking for my dad, do you know where he is?”

 

“Mr and Mrs. Kim left earlier.”

 

Of course, that’s why she can’t find them. She became panic because with them leaving means she has no excuse to be here right now, no context at all.

 

“Really? Then i’ll leave..”

 

“Why? I’ll tell Mr. Jeon that you are here..”

 

“No, no.. he looked busy.”

 

She’s becoming even more scared when she is dragged by her hands. She uses all her energy to stop and seems like the secretary finally got the message that she doesn’t want to get caught.

 

“Alright then.”

 

Yeri gives a little bow to her before she turns her back and leaves. Of course, she is the problem in Jungkook’s life. Why wouldn’t his life get better when she is out of the picture.

 

It is disappointing, almost hurting, but she understands. She is the messier one, and it makes sense that Jungkook needs time before he deals with her again. It’s just disappointing that she was expecting Jungkook would feel bad like her because he can’t see her when in fact he looked completely fine.

 

She closed her eyes, put her head on the wheels, thinking about how pitiful her life is. Maybe it is true, that it is a karma for her own since she used to say how stupid love is compared to a life she wanted and now she is here, doing some sort of ridiculous things because she is madly in love with someone. She takes a deep breath and is ready to leave, when a fast knock is heard from her window.

It's Jungkook.

 

"Get out."

 

Yeri is definitely not expecting him, that is for sure, her eyes are getting bigger when he talks to her while knocking on her window. He doesn't know what she was expecting when she first lands her feet at this hotel. He already told the security to report to him if she showed up, because he had a feeling that she would.

 

He knocked on her window again and she finally opened the door and came out. She cut her hair short.

 

“I was looking for my parents.”

 

She talked to him with a thin voice, she looked so pretty.

 

“They left already.”

 

“I know, that’s why i’m leaving too.”

 

She laughs at him while fixing her dress and he does nothing but watching her up close. It is obvious that she’s hiding from him for whatever reason.

 

“What about me?”

 

“You? I..congratulations for your project.”

 

She looked around awkwardly before back to him again while offering her hands with a smile. She gave him a congratulatory message. 

 

He stares at her hands but instead of holding it, he just stares at it until she is the one who takes her hands back and uses it to tuck her hair slowly.

 

“So you came to see your parents?”

 

“One hundred percent. I have things to talk about with them.”

 

Another part of him finds Yeri is cute but the other half also feels bad for her, because it is obvious that she’s working so hard to fix what went wrong in their relationship even if it includes pretending and lying about her own feelings.

 

He said nothing but held her hands and dragged her back to the hotel. She refused and tried so hard to free herself from him.

 

“No..Please No, let me go!”

 

That’s what she said near screaming and not gonna lie, he has nothing against her will. It always reminds him of what he did in that nightmare. He let her hands go immediately and Yeri seems to know what she just did, and how it affected him.

 

“I’m sorry.”

Yeri feels so stupid when she realized that Jungkook’s face is becoming so pale and he no longer looking at her but staring at the ground instead.

 

“I..”

 

She can not even start a word when Jungkook is walking back inside without looking at her again. He walked straight without any doubt and ignored her. She deserved it.

 

---

---

 

“Mr. Jeon, Mr. Hwang from the brand development team wanted to talk to you.”

 

It is hard to focus after his encounter with Yeri, one thing for sure that what she said is still completely affecting him. Even though he tries to distract himself with working and what not, even though he agrees to not seeing her for the sake of those nightmare, nothing seems fixed or at least getting a little bit better.

 

The only thing he felt is confusion and a little bit lost because Yeri is not with him. He tried so hard to hold everything down and act like he is fine because this is what she wanted. 

 

“Can I talk to him tomorrow at my office? I want to take a rest.”

 

“Sure, we’ll wrap up the party according to its plan.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

He spent 10 minutes or something walking around and said goodbye to everyone before walking back to the parking lot. He takes his car keys from the parking staff and tries so hard to erase the thought of Yeri, he has planned to go straight to his car.

 

“Jeon Jungkook.”

 

But someone is waiting for him. Yeri.

 

She called his name when he’s out from the entrance, he stopped because all eyes are on him, he can not ignore her and makes a scene out of this.

 

“Is there anything you need from me?”

 

“I need your time. 15 minutes.”

 

He hates her for being so confident and intimidating even after she gets into his nerves earlier. 

 

“I’ll walk around that park for one time and i’ll give you my time, if i’m done faster than 15 minutes..”

 

“Fine!”

 

It is ridiculous that Yeri is the one who cut his words and became the one who looked annoyed over the situation. She walked away first.

 

“You know that what you are doing is ridiculous right?”

 

That’s what he told her when they’re already away from people’s eyes and entering an open park next to the grand hotel building. He received no answer, only Yeri who walks faster and he needs to keep up with her pace.

 

He stops when she suddenly turns her face to him. He waits for her to say something and stares at her, and this is the first time he ever sees her as something else than Yeri who is haunted by his nightmare. She looked completely different, maybe it’s her eyes or her hair, but this Yeri.. she even looked different compared to when they first met, she doesn’t look evil at all. Just different. Which is good.

 

“I’m sorry I came without any notice.”

 

Her eyes looked soft now, despite a thick eye makeup on her face, it can not hide her doe eyes which always seems to be bright when she looks at him.

 

“Well.. you came for your parents..”

 

“You know that I was lying.”

 

He puts his hand on his pocket while avoiding her eyes when she cuts his words.

 

“I came to see you.”

 

Her voice is clear and it does sound better than any other sentences she told him tonight.

 

" I know I experienced this before, I can live my life just fine without seeing you a year ago, but.. Right now, probably because I am aware that you were not fine when we parted ways.."

 

She's talking while biting her lips and looking around, she makes a stop here and there in between her sentences to study his expression.

 

"..I'm already at my limit. I feel like I'm slowly losing it if i don't see you today, that's why i came."

 

Telling Jungkook a truth is never as hard as this one. She feels totally bad to him because her being honest means she doesn't care about him, just like how their problem started. Yeri the selfish one.

 

"I don't know why I was expecting you to feel the same when I was the one who was required to hide from you in the first place."

 

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before continuing her words fast, she doesn't want Jungkook to debunk her sentences at all.

 

"You looked fine, better. I thought I was watching someone else when I saw you earlier, the way you talk to them..the way you smile and pay attention to others..It looks like you finally gained the life you deserved."

 

She takes a few steps away from him, and tries so hard to avoid him.

 

"Give me some more time to think and prepare. If I don't show up in front of you affecting you miraculously good, I'll try to leave."

 

She walked passed by him without sparing him any glance, she's trying to walk faster but her dress and her heels are such a bother.

 

"Kim Yeri! are you out of your mind?"

 

She hears a scream from afar which is obviously coming from Jungkook, she tries to ignore it but the thing she hears next is another scream.

 

"What you just said is total bull!”

 

She stopped when Jungkook’s voice is getting nearer and the next thing he does is grabbing her hands, not like before when he put a force in it and dragged her, right now he is locking his hands on her finger and grabbing it lightly.

 

“What you just said is complete trash.”

 

He said it without looking at her and now he walks while holding her hands but she knows that he isn’t happy, instead of going back to his car or hers, Jungkook is walking back inside while greeting every person he met on his way. She does the same thing naturally.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

She becomes totally confused when he’s not taking her back to his party but to the top floor of this hotel, they walk hand in hand on its corridor and stop in front of a suite room in which he already has the key.

 

She gets inside when the door is opened and Jungkook holds her by her waist. The room is new, there is nothing here, not even Jungkook’s stuff. It is empty. She looked at him when they finally inside and he took a seat on a high chair near the mini bar, still holding her hands.

 

“I don’t even believe in god, but let’s pray here.”

 

She became even more confused when he held her hand with both of his hands, squeezing it while putting it on his forehead while smiling.

 

“Please get rid of whatever creature inside Kim Yeri right now..”

She pulls her hands away from him immediately because she doesn’t like what he’s doing.

 

“Not funny.”

 

“And you think what you said to me was funny?”

 

A total and complete bull, there is no other thing that Yeri said to Jungkook which he doesn’t hate. He hates everything about it.

 

“I was serious.”

 

“Did you really? Because I don't even want to take what you said seriously, not even one word of that bull is worthy for me to listen.”

 

He looked at her who now seems realized what she did and the way it was received by him.

 

"Ever since that one morning you came to me and told me you wanted a life of your own, without me intervening with it, I swear to myself  to always do everything according to what you want. And that's what i've been doing..I’m obeying you like a dog. A stupid one.”

 

He gets up from his chair and walks closer to her, he's standing still in front of Yeri while staring at her.

 

"You said a month is your limit? I already lost it in the first week, I held everything because you don't want me to see you. The only thing I've been doing is listening to what you wanted, and what do I get right now? A bull."

 

“I never asked..”

 

“I know, I did that because I'm in love with you, because you are the only thing that makes sense in my life and i..”

 

He lifted his face to Yeri whose eyes started to get teary.

 

“Anyway, I don’t deserve that bull.”

 

Yeri is still not saying anything when he’s done talking, they stayed in their positions for quite a long time until she walked towards the door. 

 

Jungkook already made up his mind, if she ever tries to get out of this room, he’ll do anything to take her back. But she doesn’t, she reaches out her hands to take off the card key from its slot so the room has no electricity and the light is out, everything is dark right now.

 

“What are you doing?” 

 

“You hate seeing me cry.” 

 

Her voice is getting closer and a pair of hands is slowly reaching for his waist, a familiar touch of course.

 

“I’m really sorry for what i said.”

 

Yeri’s voice is husky, it is obvious that she’s crying right now, he can feel a touch on his cheeks before a warm and soft kiss from her touching his lips. 

 

There is no one like Yeri, not just about what she said to him but also what she did to him. Her way of showing affection is something that he always missed for the past month. She completely knows how to provide comfort at times like this.

 

“I'd rather see your face whilst i’m doing this.”

 

Yeri can feel a subtle touch on her lips, it’s Jungkook’s thumbs, she already remembers how it felt like, he takes the card keys on her hands and puts it back in its slot so the light is on again. She already wiped her tears before, so her crying face isn’t too obvious.

 

She doesn’t have any chance to protest or to do anything else because Jungkook is back to her, hands on her waist and her neck, started to kiss her again. It is obvious that they’ve been apart for one whole month, judging from the way they kissed.

 

It is funny to think about how easily she throws words like a break, leaving and other stuff when she knows how consciously she enjoys this part of their relationship. Jungkook is perfect for this, he is gentle, fun but also serious. Totally everything she’s always expecting from a man. 

 

“I love your hair.”

 

Even the things he says, Yeri ended up chuckling because Jungkook talked very close to her ear and the only thing he said was about her hair, how pretty she is and how surprised he is from seeing her new appearance.

 

He stopped what he was doing when she told him to, she pushed him away because she suddenly remembered why she cut her hair in the first place. 

 

“Why?”

 

She fixes her dress, which is already down to her upper arm, her shoulder is exposed and she takes a few steps back from Jungkook who’s totally confused.

 

“I told my parents that i’ll stay with them tonight..”

 

Lie, she only sent them a text and still not received any reply until now.

 

“Tell them that you are staying with me tonight.”

 

“I’ll just see you tomorrow, you are staying here, right?”

 

Something is stopping her. Yeri is so transparent and this is not Jungkook’s first time seeing her like this. She ignores him and runs back to the door while holding her heels. She already opened the door but he pushed it, so the door is closing again.

 

“I am no longer doing this according to what you want.”

 

Yeri is closing her eyes when he says that, there’s a long sigh coming from her before she leaned her head to the door. She knows she has no way out from this.

 

She takes his hands and drags him to get further inside the room, there is a huge mirror near the bed, and she stands in front of it while telling him to stand next to her.

 

“How do i look?”

 

He stares at her instead and Yeri hits her back to make him focus on the mirror in front of them.

 

“Pretty, Gorgeous, y..?”

 

There is a smile on her face when he’s not even sure with what he just said. 

 

“No. Look again.”

 

“You look different.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

She holds his hands again and now makes him turn so instead of looking at the mirror like before, he’s looking at her now. She does look different.

 

“I cut my hair, I put on this make up, I'm wearing this dress.. I.. did everything because I want to look different in front of you.”

 

"I always like the way you look."

 

"Even the way I looked at your nightmare?"

 

He lost his smile right away, when this conversation finally found its core of problem. He is aware now that Yeri wanted to look different because he told her he hates seeing her after the nightmare.

 

"What i told you that night..”

 

He puts his hand on Yeri's cheeks as he tries to speak but she looked annoyed instead, she stopped him while shaking her head.

 

"I still get scared that you will feel the same way as that night, that I'm still hurting you. That's why I was hesitant to see you."

 

He can hear frustration in her voice as she avoids his touch once again, she even puts some distance between them as she starts to walk away from him. And he lets her go.

 

"I'm not used to avoiding problems, I always wanted to solve them."

 

Yeri is watching Jungkook take a seat on a desk while playing with his chairs, he's still wearing his shirt, tucked into his pants just how he looked in his office attire usually.

 

If it's not for a trace of her kisses on his chins, Yeri would have got scared over him who sounds so ready to give her a lecture or something.

 

"What I did that night was running away from my problem, I said what I said because I was so tired dealing with you.."

 

She is completely aware.

 

"You know that you are not the easiest person to deal with, right?"

 

She didn’t answer him because even though it is a thousand percent true, her pride won’t let her admit it, not in front of Jungkook like this.

 

"I wanted to deal with it, I'm not a coward who's unable to deal with any pain.."

 

Yeri is totally disappointed with him after hearing what he just said, she clearly said to him that she left because it is hard for her to see him hurting, even if he is fine with it, she's not.

 

"But I am a coward, I don't want to see you get hurt because looking at our past, my mistakes to you.."

 

"Then deal with it, Kim Yeri. If you are brave enough to sacrifice your life to save mine, this one should be easier."

 

Jungkook and his words, she has no energy to argue or fight with him about this even though she feels like doing it right now.

 

She says nothing and grabs her purse from the bed while trying to find a way out, but still spare some time to turn around to see Jungkook one last time and she doesn't know why but his eyes.. the way he sees her is totally making her want to stay.

 

That eyes isn't mad or crazy, it's just full of sorrow and desperation, despite him not chasing her like before, she knows that he doesn't want her to leave.

 

"What do you want me to do then?"

 

She ended up saying it after taking a deep breath and walking back to where he sits.

 

"Since we did according to what I wanted and everything messed up, let's hear from you? what do you want?"

 

She takes a seat in front of him and lifts her face to look at him slowly. He looked so gorgeous that she feels regret from stopping what he was doing earlier.

 

"If you ever wanted to leave, do it for your own sake. Don't do it for others or for me, even if I'm screaming in pain and telling you to walk away from mylife..”

 

Yeri is stunned. It was not something hard to understand but her heart is understanding it very slowly, slower than her brain that she doesn't know how to respond to what Jungkook said.

 

"Even if the whole world is against you to be with me, but you still want to stay, then stay, Yeri-ya."

 

She put her head down because her eyes are getting teary, she is completely dumbfounded by this.

 

“That way, I would know that someone still sees me as something worthy rather than a trash.”

 

Yeri manages to hold her tears when she finally has enough courage to see Jungkook again. His eyes locked on hers, what he is doing is basically begging, the desperation is easy to notice.

 

“You are going to get into so much trouble.”

 

She said that because it is true and it’s ridiculous, she doesn’t even know how her mental state will be going on in the future. And the thing with Jungkook too, their nightmare, their life.

 

“As if I didn't before.”

 

He is right.

 

"Remember that one day when you were hospitalized, mad at me, and you refused to see me, so I stayed in front of your door screaming like crazy?"

 

Of course Jungkook remembers, it was when he found out about her relations with Jihoon. 

 

"I'll go with that determination for the rest of my life."

 

She finally lifts her face to him again, she uses her tiny hands to wipe her tears and smiles at him.

 

"Good.”

 

---

---