TWELVE

Heimwee - Epilogue

Not needing to take turns for sleep actually works like a miracle. 

 

Yeri is almost sure that the nightmare has completely stopped from happening after she's been living with Jungkook for almost a month now. She worked on her schedules from here, she went to Seokjin and Sooyoung's grave with him on the weekend. Sometimes she went out for lunch with him.

 

He is always so busy at work but she doesn't really have any complaints about it like before. Of course, she is still having an argument with him about little or big things here and there. But everything is actually better than what she imagined before. Jungkook was always someone who cared for her a lot and he never failed to show her that.

 

She also talked with Irene and everyone from the agency about getting married, no one opposed the idea. Means she has no contract to branch about this.

She talked with dr. Yoo about that too. And they're all in love with Jungkook. They all see him as a hero who is basically a blessing to her messed up life.

 

"How did they find out about my birthday?"

 

"I told them, of course."

 

Jungkook looked funny when he came out from his room wearing casual outfits because both of her parents forced him to celebrate his birthday outside.

 

"Happy birthday."

 

She's been trying so hard to make him feel better with sweet words, a properly self-made cake, and all the other things since early morning.

 

"My parents never missed visiting my brother on this day, but we all went yesterday so we could celebrate your birthday, give them some credit."

 

"That sounds worse."

 

She ended up laughing at him because how much he resisted this event yet still packed everything seriously since last night. He even brought his expensive newest camera set. It is hard to believe that he isn't actually excited about this.

 

***


 

Did you tell him yet?”

 

Yeri is preparing snacks and food with Mrs. Kim in the kitchen while watching Jungkook who’s standing in the backyard, working on something. He made some sketches.

 

“Not yet, it feels like he already forgot about it, I think it’d be weird if I bring that talk again.”

 

“Then get out of his house.”

 

“You need to stop caring about something like that. I basically did everything with him, it’s none of anyone’s business.”

 

Mrs. Kim is hitting her back lightly and there’s a smile on her face. She doesn’t seem annoyed with what she just said, which is good.

 

“You know, when people start to ask, it doesn’t mean something like that.”

 

Of course, Yeri’s been living her life as part of this crazy world for years, she knows exactly what it means.

 

“He will keep doing his job, even after he becomes my husband.”

 

“He really likes him, your dad.”

 

Yeri’s no longer responding because it is amazing how many changes Jungkook could bring to her wrecked family in a span of two years. Maybe this is what would happen if Sooyoung were the one who became part of this. Because it is obvious for her that this family is already messed up long before Seokjin decided to die.

 

"I'll talk to him."

 

"Good, he probably doesn't show it but I think he's anxious about you too. He must be wondering what was the reason you didn't want to get married or start a family with him after what happened between you two."

 

She nods her head and heads out to the backyard while thinking about what she should say to Jungkook about this.

 

“Can we talk?”

 

She talks very carefully without looking at him but stares at a pine tree he draws.

 

“Is it important? I’m in the middle of something.”

 

That’s a little bit annoying but she's kind of used to it, so she decided to not pester him more.

 

“I’ll talk, you can do your work.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“You asked me before, about what kind of husband I want..”

 

It seems like what her mom told her before was right, because as soon as she talked to him about this, he put down all his sketch equipment and looked at her immediately.

 

"I've been wondering about this, but if you don't want to get married, then we don't need to."

 

He talks while smiling at her but back to focusing his eyes to a pine tree in front of him.

 

“Can you ask me that question again, I want to answer it now..”

 

He's laughing at her but back to stare at her and fix her hair because a strong wind messes it up.

 

"What kind of husband do you want?"

 

Yeri takes a deep breath, Jungkook doesn't know what he will hear from her, she will probably list a long wish, things she hates from him. She's glancing at him and reaching out her hands to his face. He looks at it and Yeri is finally wearing that ring he gave her a month ago. He always pays attention to it, and she never wears it before, not even once. He actually thinks that she hates it.

 

“The answer is actually so much more simple than what I expected, a husband like you. I won’t settle for any less or more than that.”

 

He already knows that if Yeri finally agrees with his proposal he will feel happy and relieved but actually experiencing it right now, He became even more emotional, it does feel like his hard work paid off. Even though he was confident that she won't settle with anyone else but him, he still thinks that he isn't enough for her to do this.

 

"I'll work hard."

 

Yeri is saying it with all her sincerity, she really wanted to work hard and do everything without hurting Jungkook anymore, she really wanted to take responsibility for his life properly, not only because she wanted to make it right for Seokjin but she also wanted to do it for her sake. 

 

She's waiting for his response, she thought he would become thrilled and excited but the only thing he does is staring at the ground, and seconds later he's glancing at her before avoiding her eyes and hiding his face with his arms. She was confused at first but then she realized that he's crying. Not her first time seeing him like this, but she always hates this sight.

 

"I told you before, I am the only one who is allowed to cry in this relationship."

 

She moved her hands from his waist to his cheeks, and to see him shedding tears without those dark expressions she usually saw does make everything better.

 

"A cry baby."

 

She ended up smiling while teasing him who's trying so hard to stop his tears when both of her parents are walking in their direction. Seconds later Yeri is distracted by her mom with her sudden run so she could give a hug to Jungkook, while crying too.

 

"Congratulations."

 

Yeri is glancing at her dad who talked in a small voice as he's watching her mom crying. She remembers the conversation they had last week, when she told him that Jungkook asked her to marry him. To much of surprise, Mr. Kim is already aware, Jungkook asked his permission first before he actually asked her. Actually, more than a permission, Mr. Kim said that he actually threatened him to let her go. It takes a long time for Jungkook to convince him until he gave him a Yes.

 

"Thank you."

 

"Because of you, I will have a lifetime to fix my mistakes."

 

Yeri has no idea if he's still actually thinking that he needs to give more to Jungkook after what he had done for him these past two years, but judging from Mr. Kim's eyes. She knows that he already decided to do everything for him. Even more than what he asked.

 

“You’ve done your part. For him and for me. I guess that's the only way we could do, forgive.”

 

It was a loop of hell, yes Mr. Kim is in the wrong but so is she, and Jungkook, for trying to hurt each other so badly in the name of revenge. They were all making mistakes, not just to each other but to everyone in their life, in their past, and they received enough punishment for causing it. 

 

“I still want to do more.”

 

Mr. Kim turns his face to her and Yeri gives him a smile while shaking her head. He deserved his own life, a life that is more than just regrets.

 

“I will take care of him, and you too from now on.”

 

She reaches out for his hands and she knows that this is something no one ever imagined to happen. Her being sane and living like a normal person, that’s probably why her dad is so overwhelmed that he almost cries too. She gives him a hug to let him know that nothing will change now, not for him.

 

“We should have a family meeting.”

 

“It will just be me.”

 

Everyone is silent when Jungkook talks while showing an awkward smile on his face. Yeri is holding Mrs. Kim’s arms because she is still not talking to Jungkook about all the other stuff including this whole business and family thing. 

 

Seokjin ran away because of this, his life was a complete mess because of these things. Of course, it would be different since Jungkook is 30 years old and a growing up adult, but still.. Those people were part of the problem.

 

Mrs. Kim noticed right away that she grabbed Mr. Kim’s hands and left Jungkook who was watching them in confusion.

 

“It must be hard to explain about my background to your family.”

 

Well, it’s obvious. How could Yeri explain and introduce him as Sooyoung’s brother to her family? That is so ridiculous beyond words.

 

Yeri seems annoyed with him pointing out the obvious, he wasn’t even angry about it. But she took offence. He put his arms on her shoulder but she’s lightly avoiding it.

 

“It wasn’t about that. Who cares about them, I am the one who’s getting married..it’s just..”

 

She takes a deep breath and uses her hands to hold him, locking her finger on it and closing her eyes before looking up to him.

 

“It’s money. My family is basically a corporation..so.. You know, it would be hard to settle things. My dad and you will definitely have a hard time. I’ll try to tell them, ``you don’t want to get involved.”

 

It is hard to talk about this, Yeri never thinking that there will be times she will tell the man he loves about this. About all the craziness her family has been doing for years.

 

“I want to get involved, I’m probably not a better person than your brother, but I am totally a better heir for your dad.”

 

She smiled at him because she always loved his confidence regarding things like this. Yes, indeed he is really good. Her dad is always praising him about the way he works and the way he thinks if it’s about political money heists.

 

***


 

Yeri was actually thinking of starting living with her parents again after the marriage was confirmed. She gets worried if they do something without her or Jungkook’s approval. Since she was a kid, she always knew a marriage for her or Seokjin would never be simple.

 

“Just let them do what they want. Stay here, play with me.”

 

But Jungkook totally disagrees with her concern. He told her that he already passed the worst challenge to be with her, which is him and his feelings about Seokjin. And agreed to let her parents do everything, he doesn’t want to get involved at all.

 

She stared at him to find any uncertainty from him but she found nothing. He looked so confident, that’s why she stopped saying anything.

 

“You just need a reason to leave, right?”

 

That must be it, it’s been a month since Yeri lives here, their commitment was two weeks at first, but he always refused to let her go, that’s why her stay is extended. He is busy as always, there are times when they can't even see each other because he came home really late or Yeri has schedules for a few days non stop. But nothing is bad from it, her behaviour is getting better each day, so does he. They understand each other’s lives better. 

 

“I don’t need a reason, I'll leave if I want to.”

 

She gets up from where she sat and walks to him while smiling at him. She knows that she has him wrapped around her hands and it does hurt his pride somehow that he’s behaving like this over falling in love with someone.

 

“But I don't, I'm enjoying my stay.”

 

It makes Jungkook feel better knowing that Yeri is basically in the same situation as him. She put her arms on his waist, looked up to him and asked for a kiss. She pouts when he refuses to give her one. She lets him go in one movement but he takes her back to his embrace and kisses her. She’s not kissing him back, but rolling her eyes instead and pushing his face away with her palm.

 

“I need to talk with my agency about finally getting married.”

 

She managed to let herself go from his hand and stand next to him using her phone, she looked serious about what she said.

 

“Is that hard to do? I’ll help.”

 

Well, it is not actually. Yeri is thankful with Jungkook’s offers to help but talking to Irene is not her problem. She gets scared over people's perception of her getting married, her image is never good and she believes nobody is expecting her to become a wife of someone.

 

“What can you do to help me?”

 

She puts her arms back on his shoulder and teases him with that question, it is fun to play with him like this. She loves doing it these days.

 

“I can arrange a press conference.”

 

“Would you show up as my fiance then?”

 

“You are the actress one, why would I come out?”

 

She laughs at him because she knows Jungkook hates the spotlight after so many things happened to him in the past year. He used to enjoy this attention from others especially if it’s about his job, but since she ruined most of it, he turns to hate it.

 

“I'd rather not do it, if I need to show up alone.”

 

He doesn’t give anymore suggestions and goes back to focusing on his self-made sandwich. She offers to cook him dinner but he said he wanted something simple that’s why he made this.

 

“You don’t like the crust, I'll cut it for you.”

 

He talked while cutting the crust of her bread and he is absolutely right, she hates it, she doesn’t eat it. And it is so nice of him to notice this even though she never told him.

 

***

 

Jungkook is not eating, he started to get busy when he received a call about work. He already spent an hour in front of his computer while she’s watching him from afar. She remembers when she was young she always told herself to not get married to someone like her dad. The one who loves his job too much. She does get scared with the thought of Jungkook becoming someone like him in the future but she trusts him enough to ignore those thoughts at the end.

 

He made around four or five calls in a row before sighing and leaning his back while closing his eyes slowly. He looked stressed actually. 

 

“Are you ok?”

 

She came to him with a cup of milk and told him to drink it. He nods his head and tells her to sit on his lap as he’s reviewing a document in his hands.

 

“You will probably see this often after we get married.”

 

She shakes her head and shows him a hateful look.

 

“Why?”

 

“I hate it.”

 

He looked surprised that she is being honest about how much she hates it. His eyes are getting bigger.

 

“You’ll hate it too if you grew up in a household like mine.”

 

Right, Yeri and Jungkook have a completely different background, the way they grow up is totally not comparable. 

He loves to work and make money because he always thought that’s the only thing he can do for people to respect him. While Yeri is.. She watched her family ruined because of it.

 

“But since you didn't..”

 

She continues to talk and give him a smile while caressing his cheeks.

 

“I’ll compromise with that.”

 

She takes the document he was reading and focuses her eyes on it after talking. She seemed to understand what was going on because her eyes were getting bigger.

 

“What is this? You lost a lot of money.”

 

“I need to redo projects because I wasn't satisfied with it, it was a wrong decision.”

 

She doesn’t seem surprised hearing his explanation. She only put the documents back and stared at his face while shaking her head lightly.

 

“I’ll pay for it.”

 

He laughed because it’s ridiculous, and it is offensive to her.

 

“Using your parent's money? You are so good to use them for your own benefit.”

 

Jungkook is annoyed,not mad but dumbfounded. Yeri can sense it, living with him on a daily basis she already learned about things that he hates. And what she said is one of them.

 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

 

So instead of talking back to him or letting him get mad she knows that she needs to fix it.

 

“I have a job too, I have never used my dad’s money since I was 19. The first thing I asked him since then was his help to ruin you and your company.”

 

She is kinda disappointed and frustrated too that she needs to explain herself this way. She talks fast with no force because she was afraid that Jungkook wouldn’t receive it well. But it’s actually making her more annoyed than she expected, so disappointing that from all the people in the world, Jungkook is the one who still sees her as nothing but a useless heir without her parents.

 

“I’ll pay it with my money, not them. And if you don’t want to use it, what’s the point of me becoming your wife? If you asked me to get married so you can keep me here to cook you dinner or have with you, then we can just date for the rest of our life.”

 

Yeri knows what she said is crossing the line, she can see Jungkook’s expression is getting darker and he doesn’t like what he heard. It’s not like he isn’t aware that she can talk trash this bad but she still feels bad when she realized that she said those words. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

She said sorry while keeping her head down because she just feels so humiliated to actually behave like this. She can choose better words to explain what she wanted from him.

 

“That’s not the reason I asked you to marry me. I am a better cook than you, even food from takeaway restaurants is so much better than yours.. And you bring up ?”

 

“I didn’t mean it that way..”

 

Yeri is totally hating herself right now for being unable to filter what she said. This is what she's been doing for years.

 

She thought Jungkook will become angrier for what she just did but he's not. He takes her closer to his arms and puts his hands on her neck, caressing it and laughs at her.

 

"I mean.. Why is it so wrong for me to offer help? You were part of my life, my family. It totally makes sense that I help."

 

He stopped his laughs and sighing before giving Yeri a touch on her hands.

 

"I don't want your help because I thought you're underestimating my abilities."

 

He talks fast while his eyes wander around avoiding her stare.

 

"Not just yours, but your parents. I've used them enough and I want to go back to my old life.. where i worked on my own."

 

Yeri is totally dumbfounded, not even once in her life has she ever doubted Jungkook's abilities in doing his job. There were times she thought that he is evil but he is always so much more than capable on his job. That's why people respect him regardless of his ill behaviour. She offers help because the marriage will happen, he basically became her family.  She never really treated her family well for more than a decade and she wanted to fix that.

 

"I am a crazy person, but not crazy enough to think that you are not capable of doing your job."

 

She talks while shaking her head in disbelief, and it makes him laugh.

 

"If we get married..."

 

"Of course we will."

 

She continued to talk but Jungkook cut her words again. She finds him funny with how much he treats their plan to get married as a definite future.

 

"If it actually happened and I started to live here, you take care of me, you paid for my living expenses, my food, my lifestyles and stuff, you won't charge me for that, right?"

 

"You've been staying here for a month, is that even a question?"

 

He is right, she feels stupid for talking about it, but that's not her point.

 

"Paying for your loss is just like that. It's like I spent money on someone else’s basic lifestyles. I expect nothing in return, it is just the way I should live, as part of a family."

 

“Someone else?”

 

Yeri is taken aback when he expects her to explain more about what she just said. She doesn’t seem prepared for that question.

 

“Yes, people.. like .. in the future.. If I ever had a kid. You know, just anyone, a family member.”

 

The way she talks very slowly and stutters her words is very endearing in his eyes. It still doesn’t feel real yet that their relationship came this far from where they were started.

 

“Alright, I get it..”

 

He said it while hugging her tighter than before because he does feel bad for not thinking that Yeri is capable of having these thoughts regarding their future life together.

 

“So is it ok for me to help?”

 

“You can pay half of it.”

 

She quicks to take back the documents she read earlier and calculate the amount fast in her head.

 

 It was never a small amount, Jungkook actually doubts Yeri has that much money since her lifestyle is quite lavish compared to how much work she did for the past few years. It is a different story if Mr and Mrs. Kim’s capability is added to hers, but it is certain that she won’t ask any help from her for this, besides he will refuse too if she does.

 

“How about fifteen percent and mental care?”

 

He ended up laughing out loud because of her way of negotiation, she is the one who offers help first and now she’s doing this. It’s hilarious.

 

“I didn’t see the amount correctly earlier, I missed two zeros at the end..”

 

And she also thinks what she did is hilarious because she laughed with him and her face is getting red either from laughing too much or just simply because she gets embarrassed.

 

"I never heard of mental support before."

 

"It's a thing for celebrities, the agency provides specific staff to take care of our mental health.."

 

She explained to him excitedly.

 

"Did you have that?"

 

"No, I had few people working for me, but they all quit, they told me that they're the ones who need mental care while working with me..so.."

 

Of course.

 

"Then I don't think it will work for me either."

 

"Do you really want me to pay half of it?"

 

This is embarrassing for Yeri that she needs to go through this humiliation. 

 

Because being in this situation is definitely a wake up call for her who always thinks that she is a great shot as an individual without her parents backing her up for years. She has enough money to live in her own space, but not when problems hit her life so suddenly. 

 

Jungkook needs a lot of money, the amount is unimaginable for her, she never spent that much money before because she is never someone who runs a company.

 

"I'll take anything you can give me, I'll be fine with one cent."

 

But Jungkook is good at making her feel better and not burdened. She knows that he has problems to solve but his intentions to not make her worry is obvious. She is thankful and also sorry for that.

 

"15 %."

 

Yeri's expression is getting brighter and she seems so sure about that 15% share of his loss. He nods his head to her, agreeing with what she offers and she smiles.

 

“I’ll stay with you as you’re working.”

 

“No, you don’t need to.”

 

He packed all his work into his bag and walked away. He doesn’t seem to appreciate their conversation from earlier even though he accepted her apology and managed to understand where does the talked about his reason to marry her came out, but she does feel bad for it. And she hates herself for that, for being so judgmental just because she feels slightly annoyed by Jungkook's rejection of her helps before.

She managed to hold him by his arms to make him turn to her.

Yeri doesn't know how to explains it but these days, she always get worried and even scared if she ended up arguing and fighting with him without a proper conclusion. She always feels fine and could care less if other peoples hates her but as being despised by Jungkook.. She's just..can not deal with that.

“I’ll just sleep then, give me a hug before you leave.”

 

Staying here for more than a month, Yeri slowly turns into something that is so different from how she used to be. 

 

It feels great to have someone to depend on after so many years of loneliness. She became uncomfortable and scared when she needed to spend her time alone. Maybe it is because she got used to Jungkook's presence when the nightmare stopped from happening. 

 

If he needs to go out at night or work late, he will make sure to tell her so she won’t get worried..and kiss her good night or give her a hug, so she will know that he’s out there without hating her like how he lived his life before. It is important and totally relieving for Yeri who still needs time to accept that she is a happy person after she ruined so many lives and made so many mistakes.

 

“I’ll just stay with you until you fall asleep.”

 

“A hug is enough”

 

Yeri is happier and brighter as times passed by indeed, but she still needs to practice her mind about what she has right now. Both of them are messing up others' lives for years and Jungkook can move on at a better pace compared to Yeri. 

 

He came to her and wrapped his arms on her, squeezing it tight so that it made her chuckle. He can hear a sigh of relief from her when he did that.

 

“Good night.”

 

She is the one who lets him go first and waves her hands as she takes the stairs and goes straight to their room. 

 



 

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yui_7150 #1
Chapter 15: so good...
yui_7150 #2
Chapter 14: aaa...cant wait for next update
KarlaHill #3
Chapter 11: oh woooow. as i reading heimwee since few years back, i actually think that JK's conclusion of his own feelings is not really transparent like others characters, even YR's parents is even more open about it. I am glad you make this one for him.
zeeee99 #4
Omg, I'm glad i found this!
yui_7150 #5
Chapter 8: thank you for updating. their situation is quite complicated but hopefully they can work on it
revedior
#6
Chapter 5: so good:)))
KarlaHill #7
I LOVE THIS STORY!!! THANK YOU.
Wish you listed back all of ur stories tho. I love rereading it!!