Chapter Thirteen

MINJOO

It’s early morning and you should be asleep right now, but instead you are wide awake. You've been tossing around your bed for hours now, your mind is still active. Being Athena's daughter, you are deemed to be the logical one. The one who thinks things through, tries to sees things from all angles possible. You believe that everything happens for a reason. That your fate is predetermined, cause the Fates have already woven it.

But now, no matter how much you try to think about it you just can't understand what is the reason of everything that is happening right now. There’s a lot that is going on your mind right now. Too many thoughts, to the point that you are not sure what to think of anymore. If there’s one thing you are sure about now is that, you messed up. Your mind and emotions are all over the place.

Just when you thought that things are getting better. Just when you finally admitted to yourself that you like that certain Aphrodite girl, just when you are finally ready to deal with your feelings for her. Just when you're finally looking forward on what lays ahead of you and Yujin. That's the moment the gods have decided to make things complicated again.

You just can't understand why Chaewon had to comeback now, after months of shutting you off, she decided to comeback and had the audacity to act as if nothing happened. It’s been five days since she arrived with the Hunters of Artemis. The day after they arrive, Chiron informed you that the reason why Chaewon came back was personal, that she refuses to tell him what is it.

Ever since she came back, she has been bugging you to talk to her, to hear her out but you keep on dodging her. As much as you want to talk to her and clear things up, you can’t. Your mind is a mess, your emotions are all over the place. It isn’t wise to talk about serious matters when you can’t even think clearly. Chaewon coming back made you questions things, you can't understand why you are so affected by it. Just a week ago you are so sure of your feelings, but now you are confused.

All of a sudden you can’t understand your own feelings, both for Chaewon and Yujin. Yujin, whom you haven’t talk to since the day you cried your heart out in the beach. You honestly felt bad for leaving her that night, but you know that staying with her will just make you feel worse. Everything just came rushing back to you the moment you saw Chaewon.

It’s been five days since you talk to Yujin, you wanted to ask for your friends' help but involving them will just complicate the situation than it already is. Yujin is avoiding you, you are sure of that. You wanted to crash her trainings but you can’t, with the Hunters staying here at Camp you became busier than you already are. The only time you have the chance to catch her was during meal time, you’ve tried countless times to catch her eyes every time she enters the Dining Pavilion but she wouldn’t even throw a glance at your direction, she keeps her head down. She also stopped from showing up at your regular cliffside hangout. You really can’t blame Yujin for acting that way, but it still pains you. It pains you that the only person who made you happy for the past months is avoiding you.

Finally, you got fed up with your thoughts. You got up, picked Vindex from under your pillow, it’s keychain version. The sky is still dark when you step out of your cabin, you saw that a lot of campers are already up. Probably like you they also can't sleep or maybe they just really love to get up early. You walk towards the Combat Arena, being at camp for a long time you've learned that sword fighting clears your mind. Though now instead of real opponent you’ll just release your frustration at the clueless training dummies. Because your favorite sword fighting partner is also the reason of your frustration. You enter the Combat Arena and it seems like you are not the only one who want to beat up someone.

Yujin is already trashing the training dummies. Just at the sight of her you felt all the tension in your body left, a smile creeping into your lips. It seems like she’s not aware that you are here. Instead of announcing your presence you just stood there and watch as she slashes and stab every training dummy that she can see. She’s using the weapon that you gave to her, Percarus. You remember the day she told you the meaning of her sword’s name, Percarus.

Beloved.

Very Dear.

It’s so corny but at the same time cute. You can’t help but smile at that certain memory. After minutes of watching her, you cleared your throat and she hastily turned to you, nearly dropping her sword when she realizes that it was you.

“Someone’s pissed,” you said with a teasing smile, hoping she’ll return it like she usually does. “What did they do to you?” you ask nodding your head towards the training the dummies.

But instead of answering or returning the smile, Yujin just looked intently at you like she’s memorizing everything about you.

“They frustrate me,” she finally answered, looking blankly at you “What are you doing here at this hour?” she asks.

“I can’t sleep,” you simply replied.

“Why?”

“Same reason why you beat those dummies up,” you answered, walking towards her “I’m frustrated… and confuse” you added stopping right in front of her.

“With what exactly?”

“With what I feel” you replied truthfully.

Yujin didn’t answered immediately. Instead, she looked at you, studying your face before releasing a sigh. She shrinks her sword and put the bracelet on her arm before speaking again.

“I guess we’re in the same page then” she said with a shrug

She turned around and pick the pieces that broke off from the dummies that she beat up earlier

“You’re angry at me” you said, watching her

“What made you think that way?” Yujin answer without even bothering to look at you.

“I can feel it,” you said, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“When did you ever start relying on your emotions, more than your brain?” she replied, nonchalantly

You clenched your jaw at how nonchalant she talks to you. It infuriates you how she dodges having a conversation with you.

Ever since I met you.

You want to say those words to her, to make her understand that the moment you grew close to her was also the moment you stopped thinking, instead you resorted into relying and following what you feel and what makes you happy.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” you said instead, with a small voice trying your best not to sound too sad about it.

Yujin stopped from what she’s doing and turned to you. You bit the inside of your cheeks as you wait for her to give another irrelevant reason.

“I’m not avoiding you, Minjoo” she said with a defeated sigh.

“Really? You won’t talk to me. You can’t even look at me, Yujin” you said, your voice rising “You stopped spending time with me and you’re saying that you are not avoiding me?” you added. You can feel your irritation rising so you stopped there. You don’t want to argue with her. Not right.

“I’m not avoiding you, Minjoo” she said again but now in her usual soft voice. “I’m giving you space. I know, didn’t ask for it but Chaewon’s back and whether you admit it or not, it changes everything between us” she added smiling sadly at you.

“Does it have to change anything?” you ask, softly. Taking a step towards her.

“It does,” Yujin replied, clenching her jaw.

You didn’t answer, because you know that she’s right. Instead, you just stared at her and realized just how much you miss her. Looking at her eyes now you can clearly see that the natural shine in her eyes that you’ve always adore is gone. Instead, she looks broken and hurt but she’s keeping it inside. You felt the urge to hug her, to comfort her and assure her that’s everything is going to be fine. But it isn’t that easy, you yourself know that.

“As much as I want to spend time with you and be with you, I can’t” Yujin said, still looking straight at you “Not until you’ve settled things between you and Chaewon. This, whatever it is that we have, it’s wrong. We both know it, Minjoo”

“When did having feelings for someone became wrong?” you ask, weakly.

“Me, having feelings for you and you having feelings for me isn’t wrong, it can never be wrong, Minjoo. It’s something we can’t prevent.” Yujin said shaking her head, she took a sigh and look at you once again. “It became wrong when we started to act on it, despite being aware that it isn’t right in the first place” she added her voice breaking.

For Zeus’ sake you can’t understand why she thinks acting on your feeling is wrong. You swallowed the lump in your throat and look at her. She’s biting her lower lip, like you, she’s trying best keep her tears from falling. She smiled at you sadly, you hate it when she gives that smile to you. You took a deep breath and asked her the question you’ve been wanting to ask. It’s sounds irrelevant but you need to know.

“Will you,” you started, but stopped when your voice broke. “Will you still hangout with me at the cliffside later?” you ask, after clearing your throat.

Yujin released a sigh and turned her eyes away from you, putting her hand inside the pocket of her sweat pants.

“Minjoo, I can’t-” she replied, her eyes looking anywhere but you.

“Please?” you said, cutting her off you felt tears falling and you hastily wipe if off from your cheeks.

Yujin look at you conflicted, looking at her eyes you can clearly see how torn and broken she is.

“Just come at the cliffside later, Yujin” you added, your voice pleading. “I miss you” you whispered.

Yujin didn’t get the chance to say her answer because someone called you from the entrance of the Combat Arena. You both turned towards the source of the voice and saw Chaewon standing there, looking at the two of you.

“Did… Did I interrupt something?” Chaewon said slowly looking alternately between you and Yujin.

“No,” Yujin answered throwing off the pieces of wood that she has been holding since earlier.

“What is it, Chae?” you asked, with a sigh.

“I was wondering if we could talk? I look for you in your cabin but the campers said they saw you went here earlier” she answered, walking towards you. “Is it the right time?” she asks hesitantly, but instead of looking at you she looks at Yujin.

“I was just leaving,” Yujin said looking at Chaewon “I’ll go ahead now” she added, glancing at you.

She picked up her things and walked towards the exit.

“Yujin,”

She stopped from her tracks but she didn’t look back, Chaewon gave you a curious look.

“Please” you desperately said, you badly want to get an answer from her. You badly want to spend time with her, be close to her.

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