11.
UNCHANGEABLE (KRYBER)"so, how are you holding up?"
amber, who's lying on the couch, hears jiwon's voice who sits behind her.
"better. i can no longer hear the voices."
"that's nice. do you remember when exactly the voices stopped?"
amber's eyes darts left and right before she settles looking straight ahead. "they seem to disappear when..."
"go ahead," says jiwon encouragingly. "it's better if you tell me everything with no filters, amber."
"okay." amber breathes in. "the voices seem to stop whenever krystal is around me." she pauses, waiting for jiwon to speak. but the doctor stays silent. "they will still come back but the reoccurrence lessens, and it keeps decreasing until they go away permanently."
jiwon hums. "what do you think krystal is doing that silences these voices?"
amber takes a bit of time to respond. "can't say. but i think it's because i've always seen her as home--my home--when we were still together. maybe that impression stayed with me even after we broke up, a reason i feel calm and at ease whenever she's around--like i can finally relax from a long and tiring day."
"hmm. do you see katie in the same way?"
amber remembers overhearing krystal's conversation with jiwon last night. "katie brings me a different feeling, like whenever i see her all i wanted to do is protect her, make her happy, and make sure she's loved and taken cared for."
"mmm-mmm. with the things you mentioned about katie, do you remember feeling something like that towards another person?"
"well, it's almost the same with my affection towards krystal, but it's different in a way. it's like..." she clicks her tongue, unsure of what to say.
"it's like the affection of a parent towards an offspring," says jiwon. "is that what you wanted to say?"
amber wants to glance at jiwon from behind her but her cast won't allow her to do so. "yeah. i guess you're right. it's like how krystal is to katie."
jiwon taps her pen on her notebook. "so, how do you feel about krystal doing these things for you?"
"happy," says amber in a blink. but another feeling replaced it. "and scared."
"what are you scared of?"
"i'm scared because i know she's trying to build me up again like what she did before; fix me slowly, piece by piece, until i become whole again. but i know she won't be staying, jiwon. and i don't know what will happen to me again after all of this is over."
her statement hangs in the air and amber could feel jiwon is thinking this thoroughly.
"i'm curious," jiwon speaks again. "have you had these attacks before when you broke up?"
that makes amber think. "i was depressed but i don't think i've had attacks like these because i was busy with sau operations." she tilts her head to the side. "i'm still busy now with a lot of work stuff before this happened so i'm not sure what caused it..."
jiwon stays silent as she keeps tapping her pen on her notebook. "i think i know what's missing in you..."
"please tell me it's not love life."
jiwon chuckles. "it's somehow related to that but much bigger than that." she walks over to the couch and taps amber's forehead with her pen. "you're lacking a purpose, amber. a purpose."
amber creases her forehead. "a purpose?"
"yup, a purpose." jiwon sits on the sofa across amber. "a reason to live. a flame to keep you burning. a drive to keep you going. you don't have that anymore after you were dismissed from sau. your current work--these endorsements and business investments--it gives you money, but it doesn't give you any sense of accomplishment because of your lack of purpose."
amber's body relaxes. "come to think of it, i think you're right..."
"thank you for agreeing." jiwon crosses her legs. "that's the reason katie has this effect on you because she gives you a sense of purpose like you wanted to protect her. you were used to doing that for years. saving people has been your life goal. and now that evens are gone and the entirety of aef is dissolved, your purpose is gone."
"so, i need to find a new purpose..." said amber thoughtfully. "but how?"
"that's tough because a purpose is subjective to a person," says jiwon. "a doctor's purpose is to cure his or her patient. a parent's purpose is to provide for his or her family. a lover's purpose is to make his or her lover happy. an artist's purpose is to inspire people with his or her works. the list goes on."
amber stays silent, thinking deeply.
"don't force it. it may not come to you right away. but you can always start with the little things."
amber glances at her friend. "little things like?"
"like finding a girlfriend."
"ugh." amber rolls her eyes. "like i can do that in my current state."
jiwon laughs. "or get a pet. those fluffy creatures can give love expecting nothing in return. and they give you purpose too."
amber nods. taking it all in. "getting a pet sounds good."
"this is just a phase." jiwon smiles warmly. "whatever you're feeling now, it's just a phase. everyone goes through something like that in different intensity. what's important is for you to not give up. it'll be okay. trust me, everything will be okay."
amber can feel something inside her gets ignited by those words.
"you're right, jiwon. it'll be all right."
---
"krystal says they'll be here any minute now. not sure if katie's with them but jihoon will be here."
amber scratches her head. "do you really have to leave me alone with them?"
"believe me, i'd be here if it weren't for my appointment with another patient."
amber sighs in defeat. "just go now or i'll tie you up inside," she says and jiwon laughs. "thanks for the visit and the lunch."
"anytime. i'll go now, okay? take care."
"you too."
amber watches jiwon walk down to the parking lot below and enter her car. not having much to do, amber spaces out watching the parking lot again until the door to her neighbour opens.
"oh, hey, amber..." hyuna steps out of her room in a black skirt and red striped blouse.
"hey..."
"what are you doing outside alone again?"
"just looking..." she gestures to the parking lot, didn't notice that a new car arrived. "a friend came by and she just left."
"oh. cool. so, you're all alone again?"
"not in a little while. someone's coming over."
"wow. lots of visitors, huh." hyuna fixes the bag on her shoulder. "do you live here alone?"
"yup. but my friends are checking on me all the time while i recover. you?"
"yeah, i live alone as well," says hyuna in a little awkward way. amber can tell there's something behind that tightlipped expression. "anyway, since we both live alone, maybe we could hang out sometime? if you don't have visitors?"
"yeah. sure. i'd love to. would be better tho once i've recovered."
"don't worry, you'll be back in no time." hyuna trails the cast on amber's arm with her finger. "i can even give you a massage once this cast has been removed, to restore your arm's mobility."
"oh, really? you can do that?"
hyuna nods before her eyes catches two people in the hallway. "i guess your friends are here."
amber turns and sees krystal walking with jihoon hand in hand. she clears .
"hey, amber," jihoon greets, smiling. "it's nice to see you looking better now."
"yeah. thanks." she briefly glances at krystal who had a neutral expression before gesturing to hyuna. "but the way, this is hyuna, she lives next door. and hyuna, this is jihoon and krystal."
hyuna shakes hands with the couple. "it's nice to meet you."
"i'm curious. by any chance, are you a therapist by profession? we happen to hear you offered amber a massage," jihoon asks.
"yes, i'm a licensed physical therapist, specialising in orthopaedic and neurological therapy," says hyuna. "i also took courses under massage therapy."
krystal and jihoon look surprised. "wow. it must be nice to have a family member who knows stuff like that, huh?" says jihoon.
hyuna smiles but amber didn't miss the awkwardness behind that.
"maybe you can help amber here once she's recovered?" jihoon turns to his wife. "what do you think, babe?"
"y-yeah, sure. if amber likes her." krystal nods hesitantly. "i meant, if amber prefers her, then it's fine instead of hiring another therapist, right?"
"sure. it'll be my pleasure." hyuna's smile grows wider. "by the way, i really should go now. i'll see you guys around. and don't hesitate to knock on my door if you need something," she tells amber.
they say their thank-yous and goodbyes and hyuna leaves them after.
"so, she's a therapist after all," murmurs jihoon, turning to his wife. "a licensed therapist to be exact. that's totally different from a masseuse, babe."
"well, the landlady says she's bringing a lot of clients home, which i think caused the misconception," says krystal.
"she did say she took massage therapy courses tho. never mind." jihoon turns to amber. "why don't we go inside for now? my orthopaedist friend will come over in a bit to check on you."
amber is glad someone's coming over to ease the tension between them.
---
"so, do you like it here?" jihoon asks, his eyes observing the apartment.
amber nods. "yes. it's comfy. thank you for having me around."
"this is the only thing we can do after all the things you've done for my kid, myself, and my wife." he glances at krystal who's seated beside him. "we haven't got the chance to talk after what happened in jeoswa two years ago, and i'd like to take this opportunity to thank you, with my whole heart, for risking your life to save us. we're forever grateful for that."
"it is always my pleasure to help," says amber. "as what i've told krystal here, you don't owe me anything. but still, thank you for the support you're giving."
jihoon bites his lower lip and turns to his wife. "what do you think about hiring a private nurse for amber? she needs to be with someone all day."
"there's no need for that if i can go here daily before and after work to check on her," says krystal. "i can even bring katie here every afternoon so they can play together."
"you know amber can't do that activities yet, babe."
"they will not play like that," says krystal. "they can draw together, or watch tv together. you know how much your daughter wants to be with amber. we'll just go home before her bedtime."
jihoon sighs, looks at amber, then smiles. "you know the saying 'a happy wife means a happy life'?"
amber fakes a chuckle and looks down.
yeah. right.
"i hope everything's okay with you, amber; to have me here, my wife, and katie." jihoon hesitates. "i mean, i don't want to avoid the elephant in the room. i am completely aware of what you and krystal shared in the past. but we're not kids anymore; we're adults and should act mature about this. i want you to know that i trust you and krystal."
amber meets krystal's eyes and she can tell the other woman is feeling awkward with the topic.
"krystal's mom told us of what katie told you in the forest the day she got lost," says jihoon. "i just want to clarify that i am not mad at you. i was just being an unreasonable man at that time. maybe i miss my family that much as was being immature. don't worry. krystal surely knocked some senses to me after."
amber fakes another smile, unsure of what to say.
gosh. she doesn't want to imagine how krystal knocked some senses to him.
because krystal tends to be too sweet and sensual before whenever they are fighting and she's trying to apologise.
amber blinks a few times, trying to shake the idea off her head.
"i understand. thank you for the trust," she says instead. "whatever happened between me and krystal before, that was a long time ago now. we're different people now. it won't affect us or what you have in any way."
she can feel krystal is staring intently at her.
"thanks." jihoon smiles warmly. "i always wanted to be friends with the amber liu, you know." he chuckles. "and i don't want your past with my wife to hinder that." he offers his hand. "so, friends?"
a knock on the door interrupts them before amber can even shake jihoon's hand.
"ahh. i think that's her." jihoon stands up. "excuse me. i'll get that."
there is a little awkward moment once amber and krystal are alone. but the velvet voice coming from the person behind the door makes amber look.
and boy, it is a sight is to behold.
amber stares, hangs open. she can't believe there are doctors who are this beautiful.
jihoon leads the long-haired woman in a simple white dress inside. amber and krystal stands up as a courtesy.
"you've already met my wife before," says jihoon. "amber, this is doctor park gyuri, my orthopaedist friend i was talking about earlier. she's the one who took care of you after the accident."
"thank you, doctor," says amber, bowing a bit, feeling rather shy of how beautiful the doctor is.
"just call me gyuri," says the doctor. "it feels awkward to hear amber liu address me so formally."
"she's a fan of yours," jihoon whispers to amber, thumb pointing at gyuri. "she is totally excited to go here today."
"yah. jihoon."
"don't deny it. i know you have a crush on amber even when we were interns." jihoon chuckles.
"yah! jihoon!"
amber blushes and looks down.
krystal clears . "please stop with the teasing, babe. can we proceed with the check-up now since we still have to pick up katie from school in a bit?"
jihoon clears his throat and composes himself. "yeah. right. totally forgot about that." he turns to gyuri. "please start now, doctor park."
gyuri smirks. "sure, doctor jung."
it still hurt amber to hear krystal address her husband in that way. but the sight of the pretty doctor in front of her somehow helps ease the pain.
she smiles a bit, thinking the crazy situation she's in.
if getting injured and agreeing to krystal's wishes meant meeting beautiful girls like hyuna and gyuri, then maybe, just maybe, amber made the right decision.
---
"i knew i should have dragged you with us when we were about to leave the island for our honeymoon," says yuri, stretching her long legs on the coffee table.
"that's selfish. who would have saved katie if i wasn't there?" amber grunts.
"i'm sure the staff would have found her first." yuri spreads her arms on the couch this time. "and just so you know, the kid would have not run away from her parents if she didn't see them fighting, which was because of you."
"are you saying it's my fault i got injured?"
"not really. but i told you to stay away from them, remember?"
"not that easy. we were at your wedding. and tell me, how can i even ignore katie, huh?"
yuri shifts her position, bringing her feet down and resting her elbows on her knees.
"hey. i know you're worried," says amber. "i don't know why these things are happening too. but krystal and i were civil towards each other. we haven't done... anything. and she even told me herself she doesn't have plans of leaving her husband for me nor anyone."
"ouch." yuri looks at her friend, worried.
"i'm fine. i'm fine." amber waves a hand quickly. "at least she made it clear, right? no expectations."
"yeah... and are you all right with that?"
"i'm getting used to it." amber glances at the painting. "and the more i see them together the more i feel numb. maybe that's what i need, to see them together and happy until this stubborn brain of mine feels too much pain it'll just reject all krystal-related thoughts."
"maybe this is what you need after all? you said it makes you feel numb, right? is it really helping?"
"i think so. i won't claim i'm not affected at all. but i'm getting used to it."
"if you say so. just remember, i'm always here, okay? jessica and i are here for you. call us anytime."
"yeah. i would call you even if you're having and i wouldn't care."
a pillow hits amber's face after.
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