05.
UNCHANGEABLE (KRYBER)"i knew you were just ing each other," says taeyeon, looking up and blowing smoke out of .
amber glares at her former comrade. "why do things usually sound bad whenever they come out of your mouth?"
taeyeon chuckles softly. "when i heard the news about you two hanging out, i knew it's all about . everyone knows this chick of yours has a reputation of playing around." she nods her head at the direction of their table where suzy is talking animatedly to tiffany and byulyi. "i'm still asking myself what were you thinking when you got yourself involved with her. i've never seen you as someone who'll take things casually."
amber takes a deep breath in, inhaling the fresh sea breeze. "i guess this is my way of trying to live a normal life again. this is what all of you wanted, for me to mingle again, right?"
taeyeon nods hesitantly. "well, yes, we want that. more importantly, we want you to be happy. are you happy with her?"
amber thinks for a moment. "she... she makes me feel things..."
"things..." taeyeon smirks. "that's your libido speaking, man." amber throws a dried leaf her way, and she laughs. "c'mon. you wouldn't be joining me here in my cig break if you're really into her. you're not even a smoker."
amber sighs. "i don't know... i just... i guess i just want to step out here and loosen up a bit. there are many people inside."
taeyeon hums, putting the cigarette back into , inhaling a waft of smoke, before blowing it in the opposite direction. "it's still the milf, right?"
"milf?"
"'mom-i'd-like-to-'." taeyeon quotes with her fingers and amber punches her arm. "yah! i'm just trying to lighten up the mood! chill, man!"
"don't talk about her in that way," says amber, brows furrowed.
"i know. i'm sorry. she's still hot though," says taeyeon and amber raises her hand for another smack. "i'm just saying! on a serious note, it's still the mother of the kid we saved from two years ago, right?"
amber says nothing. she turns away from taeyeon and looks far ahead.
"admirable," says taeyeon.
"it , to be honest." amber sighs. "it's like i'm stuck in the same place while her life keeps moving. i don't ing know why my brain is still not accepting that it's already over for us. it's been like what, nine years?"
they leave the topic hanging in the air as both of them stays silent, feeling the blow of the wind and listening to echoes of the sea waves.
"to be honest, i wouldn't blame you for still hoping," says taeyeon. "i've seen how uncomfy she looked when suzy came. i and tiffany were observing her the whole time while you and suzy pda-ed. you guys ruined her mood."
amber was about to argue about her and suzy doing pda but taeyeon continues.
"i'm not blind. i can tell if someone's faking a smile or not. and she's trying her best to fake a damn good smile since suzy arrived," taeyeon adds. "maybe you're stuck at where you are now because you know she still feels the same way? why don't you talk to her about it and see what happens?"
"and try to get them to divorce? no, thanks."
"isn't that what you want, to get her back?
"i won't lie that i secretly wish they would break up. but i'm worried about katie. she's too young to experience something like that. i don't want her to go through that pain. more importantly, i don't want to be the reason for that pain of hers."
taeyeon takes one last puff of the cigarette before throwing the bud in the trash can. "tough..." she says, grimacing. "you love the mother but you also love the kid."
amber smiles secretly. yeah, maybe she already loves katrien even if they've met for only a short time. who wouldn't? besides, katrien is still a part of krystal and amber would love anything that's krystal-related.
"i don't know..." taeyeon stretches out her arms towards the sky. "all i know is that you two won't be like this forever. someday, someone will do something about this, to put an end or to put a new beginning--i don't know which for. i just hope that by the end of it i can finally see you smiling, cap."
amber glances at her friend, feeling thankful for having people like taeyeon genuinely cares for her.
taeyeon is right, krystal and she won't be like this forever. their situation will eventually change. amber wishes whatever the ending will be, she hopes for a better life for her.
---
they announced the end of the dinner party early as everyone needs to take their beauty rest for the wedding ceremony tomorrow.
amber postpones catching up with katrien that night after seeing krystal's husband carry the sleeping kid in his arms. and krystal, well, they walk out of the restaurant together with her arm wrapped around his waist.
amber smiles and shakes her head.
yeah, what a happy family.
there's no way she'll ruin that, especially if it's katrien who will get hurt the most.
so, she grabs the untouched bottle of wine from the table. then she pulls suzy out of that place and back into her room.
she came to this island to celebrate and party. she decides she'll do whatever it takes to enjoy it.
---
she wakes up feeling cold-- and cold.
she slept on her stomach with her neck turned to the side. discomfort surges through when she lifts her head to look on the other side, seeing how suzy had all the blanket gathered up on her side.
amber sits up, still massaging her painful neck, to glance at the sky from the balcony. she knows it's the crack of dawn as the light is growing after the night.
she gets off the bed and puts some decent clothes on: a hoodie and a pyjama pants. she steps out of the balcony, leaving the door opened to let some fresh air in.
the dawn is breaking over the horizon. there is the comforting smell of the cold sea breeze and the relaxing sound of the crashing waves.
it is a great morning. a perfect morning for yuri's wedding.
amber stretches her arms up but the lingering pain on her neck kicks in again. while she massages it with a hand, her vision catches an image of another person on the balcony about five rooms away from hers.
and to amber's surprise, it's the person she least expect to see this morning.
it was krystal in her pj's who's about to step back inside their room.
they meet eyes, and it was awkward for a second. krystal raises a hand and wiggles her fingers to say hi--a gesture amber's too familiar with. amber gives an awkward bow, forgetting discomfort for a moment.
it was almost perfect because amber thought they can have this brief time for themselves--just the two of them and the dawn. but a pair of arms appears from behind and wraps around amber's waist.
"mmm. what are you doing here?" suzy asks sleepily. she presses her cheek against amber's back. "it's so early..."
"uh... i was..." amber turns her head back to the other balcony. it is empty now. "i was watching the dawn."
"dawn? what for?"
"just to think and appreciate the beauty of it." amber glances one more time where krystal was earlier.
"wow. i didn't profile you as a sentimental one."
amber forces a chuckle out, not wanting to explain further.
truth is, watching dawn now makes her miss someone.
she's asking herself if it's the same for krystal.
---
jessica looked perfect in her wedding dress, and amber couldn't be happier for her friends.
she watches as the couple exchange their vows, feeling proud because she saw how they grew together despite the hindrances of work differences and the distance.
she feels proud because yuri and jessica is a living proof that some people will stand the test of a long-distance relationship, the hardships of it, and the painful times of missing each other.
then her gaze shifts towards the mother-and-child who's sitting two rows ahead of her. they were talking. the mother looks like she's explaining things to her curious-looking daughter.
as usual, katrien is sitting in between her parents. and amber can't help herself from admiring how krystal's back looked y in that off-shoulder dress.
amber shakes her head and focuses on fixing her tie to shake the idea off.
then her eyes glimpsed katrien's dad who's looking at his wife and daughter with a smile on his face.
amber takes a deep breath in.
yup, his wife and daughter.
she looks back at the yuri and jessica, wondering how krystal's wedding went. were they this sweet? was he looking at her with adoration in his eyes like how yuri looks at jessica?
and how did krystal look in her wedding dress? amber bet she was pretty. she'd look pretty in any dress, anyway.
was krystal this happy on her wedding day? well, why won't she be happy, right?
amber's thoughts drifts back to the event when the officiant announced that jessica and yuri are now officially married.
---
amber couldn't help herself anymore. she's been holding back since last night and she can't think of any reasons she should prolong doing it.
so, when she catches katrien looking at her again, and giving a small smile, she finally takes the courage to approach their table and ask for the seven-year-old's hand for a dance.
it wasn't hard to get the adults to agree as the kid went ecstatic about it. krystal's mom even pushed her granddaughter to play along.
to lessen the awkwardness, amber pulled jiwon along with her too, saying something around the lines of introducing her to potential lovers on the dance floor.
they danced and danced until amber felt sweaty that she had to take her coat off. suzy joined them for a bit and praised how pretty katrien is. the celebrity had to go back to the table after a little while to talk to other people.
"you're so cool," says katrien as they continue to dance while amber carries her around. jiwon finally leaves them after amber introduced her to eunji--a former comrade.
"oh, am i? cooler than your mom?"
katrien giggles. "mommy is boring sometimes."
amber smiles. "yeah. i know."
"but please don't tell mommy i said that!"
"haha. i won't, kiddo." she pats the kid's head.
katrien looks around, searching for her family before going back to amber. "can we play outside?"
"ah. well..." amber glances at the table and sees krystal gesturing for them to come over. "maybe later? your mom's calling for you."
katrien pouts. "i told you. she's boring..."
amber pinches the nose of the child. "don't worry, we'll catch up later, okay?" she carries the kid back to her parents.
"mommy, can i play with amber later?" the kid asks after amber puts her down.
"amber might have other plans, baby." krystal wipes the sweat on her kid's face.
"but amber said we'll play later..."
krystal raises an eyebrow at amber.
"well, only if you're planning on doing some island activities this afternoon, i'll be around," says amber. she looks around to break the eye contact and noticed one person missing. "where's your mom?"
"she went back to our room. headache." krystal hands her a tissue. "here, you're also sweating."
"oh. thanks."
"mommy, i want to try the waterski!" says katrien excitedly.
"you're too young for that, baby."
"but i saw some kids doing that..."
"katrien, when i say you can't, you can't, okay?"
katrien pouts, looking helplessly between her dad and amber.
amber raises her palms. there's no way she'll say something about this.
"katie can do that if an adult would accompany her, babe," says jihoon.
amber clears , pretending to be busy wiping her forehead.
"will you be joining her? there's no way you can make me do that." krystal asks her husband.
"i can. anything for my baby," says jihoon.
"yey! you promise, daddy?"
"yes, i promise, sweetie."
"amber, there you are!" suzy arrives. "i thought you already left. oh, hello there!"
jihoon, krystal, and katrien, bow at suzy.
"are they your parents?" suzy asks katrien who nods at her. "wow. no wonder you're so pretty. your folks looked like celebrities too."
amber pulls suzy by her waist. "suzy, this is krystal and jihoon, katrien's folks. and guys, well, this 'the suzy'."
suzy playfully elbows her.
jihoon stands up to shake her hand. "it's nice to meet you in person. i'm a fan."
suzy shake their hands. "thank you. it's also my pleasure to meet you here. you have a wonderful kid."
"thank you." krystal smiles and amber is observing if there's any hint of resentment on her face.
apparently, there's none. maybe taeyeon was exaggerating things.
"are you guys sticking around here or are you going home after this?" suzy asks.
"we're staying until tomorrow." jihoon pats his daughter's head. "this little person here wants to try the other activities. you know, kids."
"tell me about it. i'm with a child-at-heart here," says suzy, linking arms with amber. "she asked me to stay until tomorrow to 'play around'--her words."
"what's the point of going in here if we won't try the activities, right?" says amber. "i wasn't able to try any stuff like this when i was in sau."
"i know. i know." suzy touches the tip of amber's nose. "since you and the other girls wanted to try the ski later, maybe we should head back and take some rest? you need to recharge. i'm sure you and the gang has a lot of energy to spend."
it was the perfect excuse to escape so amber turns to the others. "we'll go ahead. we'll catch up with you later."
"see you later, amber!" katrien exclaims.
amber smiles and pats the kid's head.
"it was nice meeting you," says suzy. "see you soon!"
amber couldn't explain why but she felt a glare on the back of her head as they walk out of the reception area.
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