04.
UNCHANGEABLE (KRYBER)"will you be all right?" jiwon asks.
amber glances at jiwon before closing the door to the backseat of her car where yuri is lying comfortably.
"yeah. this isn't the first time i've done this," she says, walking over to the other side of the car. "yuri loves getting wasted from time to time. sometimes jessica will call me to pick her up if she's not available and i will let yuri crash into my place for the night."
"you called her up already?"
"i did. she's also having her party with her mates and i think she plans on getting wasted too."
"i hope not in bed with a stranger." jiwon folds her arms. "anyway, krystal and i will be going."
amber looks at krystal who is sleeping on the shotgun seat of jiwon's car.
"is she okay? i've never seen her touch a wine bottle before. but tonight she was like thirsty for it," she says.
jiwon sighs. "i don't know. she's... she's going through something..."
"a-are they having a problem?"
"a bit. but i'm not in the position to tell you about it. and i'm sure it's something they can still fix since this isn't the first time it happened."
amber asks herself if that's what she wants to happen, for krystal and her husband to fix whatever issue they are having now.
"i hope he's not cheating on her, or abusing her or katie. because if he does, i'll kill him," she says.
jiwon chuckles and turns away. "jihoon's a kind person. but i'll be the first one to kill him if he does anything to hurt krystal or my goddaughter."
amber watches the doctor walk back to her car. "i hope it's not about me."
jiwon stops and opens the door to the driver's seat. "do you really hope it's not about you? because it's always about you, amber. since day one, it's always been about you."
amber opens and closes , not sure how to respond.
should she apologise? but for what? as far as she is concerned, she did nothing wrong.
jiwon leans an elbow on the roof of her car and smiles. "don't think about it too much. you take care. we'll see you at the wedding next week."
jiwon goes inside the car and drives away from there, living amber still rooted to the ground.
---
"jeez. i'm sorry. i have no control over my mouth when i'm drunk." yuri shakes her head, embarrassed. "guess i messed up last night, huh?"
amber leans on her kitchen counter, smelling the aroma of the coffee in front of her.
"well, you made it a little awkward for me and krystal but it's your party and you had a blast. that's the important part," she says.
"i invited her and jiwon only because you said you weren't coming," admits yuri. "i don't want to stir some tension between the two of you knowing you're hanging out with suzy. and her, well, she is married."
amber looks down at her coffee and stares at her reflection while she drums her fingers on the rim of the cup.
"did something happen after my blowup last night, amber?"
amber looks back up. "well, she tasted the wines... then drank more after that. then she danced along with the others. then she came back to me..."
---
"can we talk?" krystal asks, pulling amber along by her necktie.
amber hesitates.
"c'mon. don't be awkward. they already know about us, anyway," says krystal.
"are you drunk?"
"yes, i am drunk. but this is a party and i'm allowed to get drunk. besides, jiwon's driving me home."
amber finally stands up. she reaches out for her coat first before following krystal who's tugging her tie harder.
"are you all right?" she asks as the smaller woman leads them to the balcony.
krystal finally lets go of amber's tie to close the sliding door behind them, diminishing the party noise. "i am perfectly fine."
amber takes a deep breathe the moment she realises they are now alone. she stares into the building lights ahead of them.
"i'm sorry. i won't be able to do this without the alcohol." krystal leans over the veranda. "and knowing you, i know you're not the type who will make the first move. so..." she trails off, shivering when the chilly wind blows.
amber places her coat over krystal's shoulders.
"thanks."
"what's wrong?" amber asks.
krystal shakes her head. "i don't know... i'm not supposed to see you tonight, you know? we're not supposed to be talking like this."
amber bites her lower lip. "i can leave now if--"
"that's the thing because i don't want you to leave." krystal turns to her, looking helpless and confused. "i don't want the night to end. i want you to be here. i'm glad you are here. i'm so pathetic. i don't even know if you feel the same thing."
"i... i feel the same thing," she admits. "i..."
krystal straightens herself. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have said those things." she was aiming for the door now but amber stops her.
"honey..." said amber absentmindedly.
krystal's face softens. she sighs. "please don't call me that, amber. please..."
"i-i'm sorry. i didn't mean to..."
"i know..." krystal is now looking down, fiddling with her fingers. "but i'm glad to see you tonight." she returns inside after that.
---
"she never talked to me for the rest of the night. she kept on drinking until she passed out."
"and you said she and junghyeon are having problems?" yuri asks.
"it's jihoon, not junghyeon."
yuri rolls her eyes. "fine. but yeah, jiwon did say they are having problems?"
"that's according to jiwon. but she said it's something they can still fix as it isn't the first time it happened."
yuri stands from the couch and walks to amber, grabbing the coffee cup and drinking from it.
"hey. that's my--"
"c'mon. we've done worse during sau days, amber. we even shared a spoon, a drinking bottle, and even a toothbrush."
"the toothbrush was a onetime thing! and it's--"
"i think you should stay away from krystal for now."
"ah?"
"if jiwon says the problem relates to you, then it's best that you stay out of her path for now."
amber raises an eyebrow. "but you said last night that we should not give up on each other."
"i was drunk." yuri puts the cup down. "although i meant it, your situation isn't as simple as it sounds. she's got a husband."
"does that mean you don't want me attending your wedding next week?"
yuri rolls her eyes. "that's not what i mean. just... just try to stay away from them as much as you can. let them fix whatever issues they are having on their own. remember, they have a kid together. you wouldn't want to be the reason for the separation of that kid's parents, right?"
amber sighs. as painful as it is and as much as she wants krystal back, she is more concerned about katrien. she doesn't have the heart to take away a family from a kid just for her selfish desires.
it's just funny how she felt krystal closer last night and now she's far, far away again.
---
amber arrives at five in the afternoon on the private island (yes, because yuri says they can afford it) where the wedding will take place tomorrow morning. because of the two-hour commute from the port to the island, they advised the guests to come in friday night to join the lovers in an informal dinner party before the big day the following morning.
amber came in early because she wants to appreciate the beauty of the island first on her own. after her dismissal from sau, she found a new hobby in the form of photography and thought it's the perfect place to practise shots while waiting for the dinner party to start.
the island spans about seven square kilometres and holds up several two-storey luxury residences that can accommodate up to a hundred guests. there were restaurants and bars, a chapel, a yacht club, a spa, and a dive centre facility. they also offer morning activities like shark watching, water ski, and jungle villa exploration; and night activities such as evening bonfires and rave parties.
amber walked around and around, taking shots here and there. the sound of an incoming speedboat always signals new guests arriving and amber feels nervous thinking one of those could have krystal and her family in there.
her excitement builds up at the very thought of seeing krystal but it fades as soon as she remembers the talk she had with yuri last week.
so she keeps roaming around until she felt tired and went back to her room to rest.
---
"amber!" yuri approaches her. "i was right. you fell asleep!"
"i'm sorry," says amber, scratching the back of her neck.
yuri gestures to the buffet. i'm sure you're hungry now. go help yourself."
amber looks around to see how people gathered into separate tables. "where should i sit?"
"you can join tiffany, taeyeon, byulyi over there." yuri points at the direction. "go get something to eat now. i need to entertain the other guests."
as amber is making her way to her designated table, there is an eerie prickly feeling that someone is staring at her. she looks over her shoulder only to meet eyes with a very familiar kid. the said kid looks away and amber finds this amusing. this prompts her to glance at the other people sharing the table.
which she regrets because all the adults are looking at her now.
"oh. hey, amber." it was jiwon with her cute cheeky smile. "you're not lost, are you?"
"no..." amber shakes her head. "i just... oh. hello..." she bows when she meets eyes with krystal's mom, bows at the man beside her whom she knows is krystal's husband, and bows at krystal too.
"katie, look who's here..." krystal taps her daughter who's sitting in between her parents.
amber smiles at the kid who's shyly looking at her. "hello, katie."
"hello..." says katrien, bowing a little.
"you still remember me, don't you?"
the seven-year-old nods.
"why do you look so shy now, baby?" says her dad.
"daddy!" the kid slaps her dad's leg.
"let's have amber get her dinner first and we'll catch up with her later, okay?" says krystal's mom. the kid nods again. the older woman turns to amber. "don't let us hold you up."
"i hope you enjoy your dinner." amber bows one last time before walking away from the table.
---
"why does she have to be so beautiful? why does she have to be so beautiful?"
amber keeps whispering to herself while she walks. krystal still looked pretty in that simple dress shirt she's wearing. but each time she sees the husband (she refuses to mention his name even in her mind), she feels this pain in her chest and she doesn't know if it's something she will learn to accept in her lifetime.
too engrossed in her thoughts, she didn't notice how people are turning their heads towards the restaurant entrance.
and before she can even approach her table, her phone rings. she answers it.
"amber, where are you?" it was suzy.
"uh. i'm at yuri's dinner party."
"i meant where are you right now? i just arrived here in the restaurant."
"what!" amber whips her and catches suzy's image standing at the entrance of the restaurant.
the actress is wearing a black and white beach dress. guests are already ogling at the presence of a celebrity in that restaurant.
"i thought you'll come tomorrow instead?" amber asks.
"i changed my mind. and i've got the right to be here. i'm your plus one, remember?"
amber's eye catches a specific head who turns to look at her. it was krystal.
"amber, where are you? people are looking at me..." says suzy.
"right. stay where you are. i'll pick you up."
amber feels like everything is in slow motion when she walks towards suzy. it was like a scene in the movies where the main protagonist is approaching to get their love interest. and she can't deny how the stares from the other guests are making her feel shy.
sure, they know about the rumours spreading about her and suzy. but seeing suzy attending the party tonight and amber picking her up at the front may stir more speculations.
and she can't erase the thought that krystal is seeing all of this happening now. what would she think?
that worry vanishes when she lay eyes again upon suzy who looks stunning tonight. suzy seems lost, like a damsel in distress, eyes darting around the room.
a smile finally breaks from the celebrity's face when their eyes meet, and for a moment amber swears she's the luckiest person in that room tonight.
but suzy had to put on a show by pulling amber in for a hug the moment she closes in.
"people are looking," amber whispers in suzy's ear.
"i know. but you know how much i want to play with them."
amber pulls away, smirking. "you're such a devil."
"oh. and you love playing with the devil, don't you?" suzy runs a finger along amber's jawline down her neck.
amber holds the other woman's hand to stop her from teasing the spectators around. "let's go. i'm hungry."
"oh, you can eat me, baby."
amber rolls her eyes and drags suzy inside.
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