There were some nights Yongsun couldn’t quite fathom the meaning of. 

 

She was always sure that she had the worst affinity for the night; the day her parents left her in front of the door. It was a portal to another world, a world without her disrupting their happiness. A night when her parents decided to separate, apparently, was also a signal that she was becoming too much for them to handle, or anyone else for that matter. 

 

She knew that boredom was part of being human, except she didn’t quite get how someone could just leave their children in front of a doorstep when they decided she would never be enough for them. 

 

As if she didn’t know that already. 

 

-- 

 

This place is for children, a so-called "home" where you absorb everything given to you that has proven to be useful in your future, because one didn’t just strive to be an orphan and useless.  

 

Wake up at 5. 

 

Singing praises at 6. 

 

Studying at 7. 

 

Et cetera et cetera. Except it never ends. And nothing else bristled her more than a routine that will continue for another round of eternity. She entered this place at 9 with her own two feet, and with the same feet she will also step away from this place. Or at least that’s what she thought as she climbed the wall and leapt out of this horrendous place, inevitably ending with fractures and bruises on her left cheek, and a week of bedrest.  

 

And the rest was history. 

 

“That girl has a boy’s name. It literally means dragon! Whoa. Are you sure she isn’t a boy?” 

 

“With that kind of attitude, no one will want to take her with them. She wouldn’t have any place to belong.” 

 

“She always stare at me. I don’t like her eyes. It’s intimidating.” 

 

Yongsun didn’t understand some parts of it. Her parents brought her here when they divorced, which means she is not an orphan! She doesn’t belong here! Make a place for those who really need it! Of course, she fully realized that no relatives in their right mind will want to keep her. 

 

And this orphanage. The one that looks like a boarding school. A boarding school where your worth can be decided by how you take care of your uniform, trimmed nails, proper manners, pleasing to the eyes and genius to boot. Every week the list of top tiers in average will be posted near the school hall. It is always the same name at the top of the rank. The one they deemed to be the nicest one in the orphanage, the one who will get adopted in no time.  

 

“Yongsun-ah.” 

 

The owner of the orphanage fixed her glasses as she folded her arms in front of the 13-year-old Yongsun, who’s sitting cross-legged and by now, sporting a new band-aid at her left temple.  

 

“I heard you bash Sang-soon's head with a dictionary.” 

 

A picture of a boy crying his eyes out like a wimp makes her hold down a snicker. “He kept pulling my hair. I told him to off already.” 

 

“Language.” She remarked sternly. “You can just tell him to stop, though.” 

 

“Yes. After that, he kept doing it for a week in front of his goonies.” The owner shakes her head at the rich array of vocabulary that she didn’t think would come out of a 9-year old girl. “Yongsun-ah. He did that just because he likes you. Boys would sometimes do that to someone they like.” 

 

Yongsun didn’t quite get the point on how friendly feelings can be related to merciless bullying, but she isn’t exactly the type to water down her words. “He likes you, like every other kid as well, and I don’t see him pulling your hair every single time.” 

 

The talk comes down to how Yongsun will understand someday how complicated it is the friendship between opposite genders, the kind of talk Yongsun absolutely didn’t care about. “Your grade has been plummeting these past few weeks.” 

 

That statement earned her a look. 

 

“You placed almost last in all aspects compared to your peers. Dear, your grades and track record determine the level of benefactor you can attract.” She fixed her glasses again. “The talent show is about to be held tomorrow. All the major benefactors will be there watching you, so I hope you have already prepared a performance. Don’t you want to secure a better future for yourself?” 

 

Her mind instantly became muddled. After her parents put her here after divorce for being incompetent, now she had to fight for their attention for a better future? What she is trying to achieve here, she has no clue. What is she trying to prove? And what kind of future is in store for her, anyway? 

 

“Don’t forget to apologize to Sang-soon. I’m sure the boy will accept your apology.” 

 

-- 

 

The hallway is deserted. The students prepared themselves for supper. As the canteen was filled with students queueing for their portion of the supper, Yongsun walked past some tables before stopping in front of a boy who immediately flinched, looking clearly unnerved. 

 

“I am sorry for hitting you.” 

 

It was an apology spoken without malice. Of course Yongsun still has some decency to admit that smashing anybody’s head with the pointy edge of the dictionary is not good a thing to do despite how bad that person deserved to be smashed.  

 

“Uh… okay.” 

 

The girl held any thought to clench her fist as the goonies behind him cheered and jeered, obviously mocking. Just bear with it for now and she will avoid any possible encounter with him forever until she gets out of this place. Just when she’s about to turn around to be on her way, a whisper slips right under her range of hearing. 

 

“Your welcome, .” 

 

It felt like everything was out and came into bouts of different possibilities. 

 

The thought on how even when she reports this to the owner, it will be insignificant. She made a lot of excuses and then it finished. Why would anyone believe her, the girl who didn’t really pay attention to any of the teacher’s warnings? Why would her words matter against a boy who is known to be helpful and has a decent track record?  

 

Why would a girl’s word matter compared to the boys? 

 

A streak of red passed through her eyes as she took the matter into her own hands. Snatching “the matter” by the collar, her other hand grasps the glass from another table as she bashes it to his skull in a swift attack to the right side before jumping on him and continuously pummeling the boy in the face. Even covering his face with arms didn’t really work as she delivered the attacks without any pauses, let alone mercy. 

 

The crowd gathered and created a continuous yell-yell, cheering for both sides. 

 

-- 

 

Right after the commotion is the talent show in the evening. She was saved from all those incoming naggings and reprimandings. For now.  

 

She could only watch listlessly as the students walked back and forth between the stage and the curtain, each of them didn’t give any greetings or a simple nod. Talk about being rude. Or this whole scenario of her wearing a frilly dress that is two sizes bigger (it was puffy in all the wrong places), preparing her performance of stupid “Chopstick” that by now, she might have forgotten half of it. 

 

“Let’s welcome one of our students to our Pea Class, Yongsun! She might look feisty to you but inside she is all mush, ready to capture your heart with kindness!” 

 

The description is more than enough to convince her that this is all a bad idea. In an instant she was transported back to the owner’s strict, commanding tone. 

 

“Starting from now, don’t say anything. Keep your mouth shut. Just… don’t do anything.” 

 

Keeping her face stoic, her mind becomes overwhelmed again as she sits in front of the piano with the silent, anticipating crowd as a backdrop. 

 

That's it. After this piece she surely will be kicked out of this dreadful place, which is a good opportunity. Okay, so how do you convince someone you’re bad? That you would never be able to fulfill their expectations? She knows a thing or two when it comes to disappointment, though. This will be such an easy feat. 

 

Nobody wants her, anyway. Not with how she looked. Her temper. Her everything. This is a given. She is a dragon. A dragon deserves her freedom in the sky, soaring so high nobody could reach her for an eternity. Basking under the sun, free of any expectations… 

 

this.  

 

it all to hell! 

 

The sudden will crawls and electrifies her entire body before she raises her arms as high as she possibly can and smashes it against the piano, destroying the keys with disruptive rhythms and messed up chords, going back and forth as her face went twisted, giving a performance of someone that just went delirious. 

 

-- 

 

It is safe to say that the owner was seething. It was gone as quickly as it came. Along with warnings that the stunt she pulled earlier will cost her any chance to get any capable benefactor. Yongsun cannot help but blanched at this while sitting in front of the office, waiting while sitting down. 

 

Another student came and took a seat beside her. She looked prim and proper. The only good thing about this facility is that no matter what color seep in your skin, it won’t ever stop you from becoming highly accomplished and known with all students. The collective silence hung up in the air until the other girl cut it open. 

 

“Good performance back there.” 

 

Yongsun snorts. “Thanks.”  

 

“You’ve become the talk of the school down there. It’s as if you want to shoot down any chances for all the spectators back there.” 

 

“They are not wrong.”  

 

“Why?” 

 

Yongsun is not sure how much she can share with this younger model student. Alas, it’s like didn’t stop catching up to her thoughts. “I will never prove a thing to anybody else. If they don’t want to stay then so be it. I shouldn’t care.” 

 

The model student closes her book softly and turns around to look at Yongsun, who still didn’t return her glance. “How can people stay if you didn’t allow them to?” 

 

The side of twitched, fighting back a sneer. Instead of coming up with a sassy remark, she kept  shut, and went silent for a long while. “By the way, thank you for beating that boy to a pulp. His words had been too much for me and the girls for the longest time. I know they were grateful but they are not so sure how to thank you.” 

 

A call can be heard from the headmaster’s office. 

 

“I will take my leave now. Nice to finally talk to you, I guess.” Yongsun knew that the model student was going to meet her benefactor. With the highest rate of performance she possessed, without a doubt she will be able to secure the most eligible benefactor out of all grades. The model student put her book next to Yongsun and gave a small, curt smile. “Can you help me return this book to the library? I already pasted a note on it so ma’am will know it’s from me. Thanks.” 

 

After the sound of closed door, Yongsun takes the book and scans the content of the note. 

 

HYEJIN 

 

Another call from a different room next to the headmaster’s broke her out of focused trance. As she stepped inside, her mind went with one resolution. She was welcomed with a quaint light, with one of the teachers giving a speech that passed by her head, basically telling her that all those antics and bouts of “violence” didn’t exactly put her in the best light with other benefactors, that she sadly has to be pushed down to the lowest rank of interest. Yes, yes, she doesn’t care about any of that. Her question is why there is a middle-aged man sitting across from them, observing. 

 

“This is Yongsun, Mr. Kim. I believe you asked to meet with her?” 

 

“Yes, I am.” The man broke into a small smile. A smile that looked all too fake to Yongsun. Or at least that’s what her spiteful mind tells her to think. “Nice concerto you pull back there.” 

 

Yongsun didn’t say a word. Even when the teacher hissed at her rudeness, no sound came out. “Yongsun!” 

 

The girl turned to look at the teacher, muttering. “She asked me to keep my mouth shut so I won’t say a word.” 

 

It was almost the last straw for the teacher’s poor nerves until a booming laugh went out. Both looked from the corner of their eyes as the old man wiped a laughing tear, heaving with amusement. “Aren’t you an interesting one already?” He turned his look to the teacher. “Can I request an audience with this lovely lady, just the two of us?” 

 

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