XXI

September 2015

"What are you saying?" His confusion is all over the place. "Where are you?" His voice sounded concerned and that made Chae Won smile. For a second, she felt like fighting for her love.

But that thought was shattered, as  the words from Joong Ki's friends she heard a while ago resonated in her ears.

She shook her head to get rid of that hope.

"I'm not confident I'd settle for less."

"I asked where are you?" His voice sounded more serious and demanding.

"I'm sorry oppa."

"Chae Won-ah"

"I'm not confident either that I won't hate you."

"I'm sorry," his voice sounded apologetic and guilty. Chae Won sighed, it only confirms that his love has changed. It stung her.

"I'm sorry too." She let out her sobs, she didn't mind anymore as she was full of pain deep inside her heart. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." she kept apologizing. "I'm sorry," her series of apologies became fainter. She tried to stop her cries, she wanted to hear his breathing for the last time that they will be calling each other.

The silence gave her ear a full access to the noise from the other end of the call. She could hear his steps, then a sound of something being picked up, a deafening silence came next for a couple of seconds, and then a faint ring. He was calling someone. She guessed. "I'm fine, don't call my manager. I'm at Hyo Joo's."

Joong Ki has no connection with Hyo Joo aside from herself. She knows it's safe to lie she was with her.

A heavy sigh came out from him as he dropped the call. He still texted her manager anyway, asking to check on her.

"Oppa," she called softly.

"Uhm?"

"Be happy," she smiled to herself bitterly. "Make sure to be happy so I could hate you. So I won't feel guilty of hating you."

He lacked response.

"Be happy so my decision won't come to waste." He was still not saying anything. "Bye," she dropped the call after getting no response at all. She bit her lips as more tears ran down to his face.

"I don't want to hold onto an empty shell oppa, I'm sorry." She placed a hand on her belly and whispered, "I'm sorry for being selfish."

August 2021

Geun Young brought a pack of crackers with her and sat down on the floor, her body facing Chae Won who was sitting crossed legs on the sofa. Hyo Joo was sipping on her can of soda, sitting comfortably on the single coach.

"So how was it?" Geun Young wanted to know.

Chae Won was just staring at the ceiling, "beautiful" was her one word response.

"I bet it is," Hyo Joo grabbed some crackers. "Looking at them now, do you regret not telling him back then?"

"No," her response came late. Not taking away her gaze on the empty ceiling she continued, " If I did the opposite Jung Soo and I wouldn't have met Seung Joon. Seung Joon oppa was also a beautiful memory to Jung Soo."

Geun Young didn't buy it. "Be honest, did you really not regret it? If given a chance to change what happened, would you still make the same decision?"

The two younger women eagerly waited for a response. Hyo Joo stopped munching the remaining cracker on ; Geun Young leaned closer.

"Honestly..." Her pauses almost made her friends furious. Hyo Joo gestured for Chae Won to go on with an open hand doing circles in front of her