She can’t sleep, it's been two hours and Wheein now sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. Eyes on the guest room door. She doesn’t have a courage to open the door, scare that Byul might locked the door. Ignore the cold that slowly crept up on her. The weather just like how she felt right now. It's cold. She wanted Byul to embrace her, to feel Byul warmth.

Did she really mean it, send me back to my hometown tomorrow?

She brings her knees close to her chest and buried her face on it. A heavy sighed escaped her lips as she closed her eyes. Thinking when did it went wrong? Is it the moment she mention her debt or the moment Byul mention her mom.

Wheein got so much to lose in her life while Byul only got Wheein. The only thing that Byul scare of losing is Jung Wheein. Perhaps, that’s the reason why Byul can’t help it but want to tie the knot ASAP. She saw so much in Wheein eyes, the girl is an angel.

While Wheein has so much on her plate already, her family, her scholarship that she can’t afford to lose it. And Byul, the love of her life. Byul walk in into her life and she felt a bliss that she never know it exist. Byul help her to cope with her problems. Whenever she with Byul, her heart is as light as feather, but now… everything seem heavy. It slowly became blurred, their future.

Wheein never saw Byul as a burden in her life before, the woman will never become one. But lately Byul eyes only on her, she became Byul’s oxygen. And Wheein feel suffocated whenever those grey eyes land on her. She felt heavy, burden with the love that Byul offers to her while she completely not ready for a relationship. Now it's her fault, she can’t blame Byul. It's her who welcome Byul with an open arms. Hiding the pressure that she felt, the pressure that build up everyday on Byul love slightly turn to a burden for Wheein.

But.

Wheein don’t want to break up with Byul, she’s in love with Byul too. but she can’t proceed to the next step like Byul want. She used to live in alphabetical order. She never jump her life list.

It's complicated …  she want Byul, she want the woman to hold her yet she can’t give the woman what she want. Marriage.

She felt warm and some weight on her, so Wheein slowly open her eyes, there is a comforter covering her body and Byul sitting in front of her.

‘I’m sorry…’ Byul said it, she reached out her hands for Wheein.

All sort of emotion running inside her head just explode at the moment, ‘How can you?!!!’ she burst out crying, her tiny hands punching Byul chest over and over. The woman just stay still, she deserve that. ‘You left me here!!’

‘Whe.. Wheein … ’ with difficulty Byul hold Wheein hands and try to calm the girl. ‘Wheein.. I’m sorry.. I’m really sorry.’ She pulled the girl into her arms. Her tears fall on her cheeks. ‘I’m sorry.’ The only word she can say at the moment, ignoring the throbbing pain at her right hand as she tighten her hold on Wheein body.

Struggle to free herself from Byul, Wheein push Byul really hard that the woman fall on her back. ‘You knew that relationship is involvement of two person!! Which mean it should and must have two way communication!!’

Wheein don’t even know what she say at the moment. She is too angry at Byul.

‘I .. I know. Babe I’m sorry.’ Holding both of Wheein hands, Byul squeeze it slightly. Eyes look deep into those brown eyes. She rest her forehead on Wheein hands, ‘I’m really sorry. It's so stupid of me.. I’m sorry.’ She kiss on the girl knuckles, pressing her lips hard on those. The girl just stay silence so Byul look up, her heart shattered into a pieces once their eyes met. She hurt the girl this time.

‘But you keep doing thing on your own, you hardly listen to me! I’m not saying we shouldn’t get married I just say..’ Wheein couldn’t finish her words as she cry her heart out.

‘Alright .. I .. I got it.. I understand.. I’m sorry..’ she Wheein back slowly as she pull the girl to embrace her, soothing the girl. Her heart ache so bad seeing the girl broke into tears like this. Because of her selfishness. ‘Please stop crying.. I’m really sorry sweetheart.’ She kiss the girl forehead and both of Wheein cheeks.

‘I’m really sorry…’ she wipe those tears with her thumbs.

They stay like that for awhile, with Byul soothing Wheein.

‘I’m sorry that I talk to your mom first.’ Byul take a deep breath and level her gaze with Wheein. ‘I .. I just want to tell your mom that I’m serious with you. that your mom can rest assure now, I got you. I will love her daughter the way she did, with all of my heart.’

Wheein tighten her grip on Byul, Byul words always touch the deepest part of her heart. ‘part of it was my fault. I’m sorry too.’ she murmur under her breath. ‘I know you hate me talking about the debt, but I still talk about it…..’

‘it's okay..’

‘no .. it's not okay Byul… I hurt you.’ Wheein gently hold Byul right hand, it's wrapped with bandage.

‘Wheein… sweetheart, I’m fine. I just got way too angry before. I won't do it again.’ Byul give a simple peck on Wheein lips.

Wheein know that when Byul said she won't do it again, the woman really mean it. but the girl can’t be sure that they won't have another fight. It's their fourth time having a big fight like this. She just hope they have a simple bicker in the future. Her heart just can’t take it if they have another fight.

‘Byul … about marriage..’

‘I’ll wait for you.. we talk about this once you ready.’ She gave the girl a reassure smile but Wheein shook her head.

Wheein lower her gaze, avoiding Byul eyes. ‘I’m sorry Byul… I just can’t right now…’

Cupping the girl face so the girl would look into her eyes, Byul soft gaze soothing the girl along with her warm smile. ‘I should understand you better. But I choose to act on my selfishness..’ gently the girl cheek with her thumbs. ‘You don’t have to feel sorry about it.. I will wait till you ready.’ she lean forward to capture Wheein lips. She let out a laughed in the middle, thinking that both of them were having a fight before and now their lips are locked.

Wheein shift her position and sat on Byul laps, she hold the woman tightly. ‘Please don’t leave me alone again.’

Those word pierce right through Byul heart, she really hurt the girl. ‘I’m not leaving you… I just give us some space..’

‘I’m scare at that time. All sort of bad things pop up in my head… I don’t want to break up with you, but I can’t give you what you want now.’

‘No .. we won't break up…’ she said firmly. ‘I’m really sorry to make you feel like that, but, you already gave me everything that I want by staying with me sweetheart.’

It is indeed that all Byul want is that Wheein stay with her forever which is the reason why the woman suggest marriage. She doesn’t know that her idea would cause this fight between them and what hurt her the most is she hurting the girl that loves. Wheein just 21 years old this year. She should have wait at least until Wheein finish her studies.

‘You need to get a proper treatment.’ Wheein point her finger toward Byul’s hand.

‘well, I’ll go to clinic tomorrow.’ She press her lips on Wheein forehead again. ‘lets sleep.’

‘You want to sleep on your own?’ Wheein asked sarcastically.

Byul can only grin like an idiot, scratching her head. ‘I’m sorry.’ She whispered before pulling Wheein to stand up and walk into their room.

….

Couple of days pass and both of them completely fine now, to Byul. But Wheein she hardly have a proper sleep. She keep thinking about marriage, will she able to do it?

She doesn’t want Byul to feel disappointed with her, the woman gave everything already and Wheein wanted to do the same. She’s know that Byul don’t really care about that, that Byul only want her to be happy but so do Wheein. She wanted nothing more but happiness to Byul.

Maybe I should ask my mom opinion.

another update.. fun fact, its quite hard for me to understand wheein character in this chapter.......... actually i dont understand byul either... i still thinking about how i'm gonna make it work between these two, i hope i can. lol.

sorry if there any mistake

love and peace out ^^