The days following the departure of Taeyeon from Mokpo Island were the loneliest Miyoung had ever experienced in her entire life.

It was true that she had Juhyun, Sooyoung and Yuri with her. And she was glad she wasn’t entirely on her own at that island, but their presence somehow felt minimal to Miyoung.

Miyoung couldn’t find a single drop of joy in anything surrounding her. Everywhere she looked, from just her clothes to the horses kept at the stables, she somehow managed to see Taeyeon in one way or another. If those were not in sight, all Miyoung needed to do to be reminded of Taeyeon was take a look at the boys there.

Minho and Jonghyun have decided to stay with Miyoung, leaving Taeyeon to be in the company of the one and only Heechul. All the other boys that once belonged to Taeyeon’s group of friends were still at Mokpo Island waiting for a boat to sail on. But instead of moving on their own, they were all waiting for Miyoung to make a move.

She truly believed it would be easier to forget that person as the days went by, but it wasn’t the case whatsoever. The identification tag marking her name, Hwang Miyoung, was a gift from Taeyeon. Ginger and the other horses were left under the care of Miyoung by Taeyeon herself. Even the pale blue clothes she was wearing was Taeyeon who bought it for her.

It was impossible not to be reminded of Taeyeon's every second on that island.

Every step she took on that journey after Taeyeon saved her life, Miyoung idealized ways she and Taeyeon could be together in the end. She was sure that the senior jurists and meisters of Rosegarden would accept Taeyeon as her future husband even if he was born out of wealth. They could make it work somehow.

If. Only If Taeyeon was a boy.

But now that Taeyeon was found to be a woman, that was impossible.

No province in the land of Joseon would accept a marriage consisting of two women. High noble families secure heirs and sons so their legacy could prosper throughout the ages. Two women wouldn’t make that a possibility.

How she never noticed Taeyeon wasn’t a man all this entire time, Miyoung had no clue.

How could she even develop feelings for another woman was another question Miyoung never really found the answer for.

Sure Taeyeon looked manly enough with the right clothes and her combat skills, but Miyoung always thought her heart would manage to tell the difference between a man and a woman. That clearly didn’t happen and now Miyoung was paying the price for it.

In the worst way possible.

“You’ve gotta eat something, Lady Miyoung…” Juhyun advanced, gently. “So you can be healthy enough when we reach Rosegarden.” She tried, pushing a bowl of soup towards her.

“You think I’ve done the right thing, Juhyun?” Miyoung asked her handmaiden, her voice completely out of life.

“What do you mean, Lady Miyoung?”

“Breaking out with Taeyeon. You think I’ve done the right thing? Not going with her?”

Juhyun sighed. “I’m not in a position where my opinion matters in this stance, Milady.”

Miyoung just shook her head, a little tired. “Stop with that nonsense, Juhyun. Just tell me what you think.”

Juhyun gulped, taking a few seconds to even begin talking. “It’s not like Leader Taeyeon will magically appear in front of us if I say I disagree with your decision of splitting up, right?”

Miyoung looked at her handmaiden. “But you think I was wrong?”

Juhyun sighed in. “I don’t think there is right or wrong in this, Milady. Whatever you had in mind when you made that decision you have to own it, take it to the end, Lady Miyoung. You can’t just be wishy-washy about that.”

Miyoung just looked away, her ever-brightened eyes now dim and sad-looking.

“It’s been two days since Leader Taeyeon left and you still haven’t moved to find a boat for us. We can’t stay on this island forever, Lady Miyoung. We gotta move up at some point.”

“I feel like I can’t handle the sea right now.” Miyoung quickly explained her reasons.

“Lady Miyoung…”

“Besides, it’s not that easy to find boats roaming to Busan.”

“You’re not even trying, Milady.”

“How can I help in this stance?” She asked, a little stubborn herself. “Minho and Junghyun are going to the harbor every day trying to find a boat for us, but they’ve been unsuccessful so far. They are both men. How can I be more of an assistance than they are?”

“You are a highborn Lady. Your power and status might find vacancies on boats that otherwise would deny us. Wasn’t that the reason why Leader Taeyeon gave you that license from Commander Kim? So you can buy our places on ships and take us to Rosegarden?” Juhyun insisted. “You can’t just ignore that, Milady.”

Miyoung stood in silence for a second. “Did Taeyeon tell you that?”

“What?”

“That she gave me those gifts so it would be easier for me to board ships across the seas?”

Juhyun blinked, obliviously. “No, but it isn’t that hard to come up with this conclusion.” Her handmaiden spoke up. “Leader Taeyeon has always been very aware of your position and social status, Milady. With you splitting up with her, she might have thought giving you those gifts would make our journey to Rosegarden easier. Leader Taeyeon is fine and probably will be fine throughout the entirety of her journey. Man or woman, Leader Taeyeon knows how to defend herself, and she has ways to be safe and out of sight. This is not the same for you, Lady Miyoung.” Juhyun warned. “Leader Taeyeon gave you everything she could to make you away from Master Shin and get back to Rosegarden safe and sound. But you’ve been idle so far, not really doing anything to leave this place. Yuri and Sooyoung are bored to death and Minho and Jonghyun are trying to cope with Leader Taeyeon’s departure as well as the other boys. You’re not the only one who is feeling blue right now.”

Miyoung just sighed, knowing that Juhyun wasn’t entirely wrong. “It’s so weird, Juhyun. It’s like I lost a leg of my own. Can’t really stay up as firmly as before.” Miyoung tried to reason her excuses.

“Just like I said… you need to own the decision you took. If you were hurt and thought it was valid to part-ways with Leader Taeyeon, so be it. She lied about her gender and fed an illusion that shattered everything you were hoping and dreaming for.” She understood. “If you think there is no forgiveness in what she did, then just keep moving on, Milady.”

“You think there is?” She asked curiously.

Juhyun blinked, looking at her lady master.

“You think there is a chance for forgiveness?” Miyoung repeated the question.

“Why do you want my take on this, Milady?”

“Because you’re my handmaiden and my friend. I think your opinion is just as valid as my own. Besides, you’ve always been more mature than I ever was.”

Juhyun exhaled, feeling a little burdened by those words.

“Tell me what you really think, Juhyun. What you really feel. Don’t conceal it from me.”

Juhyun munched her cheeks. “Leader Taeyeon saved my life that day.” She started saying, reminding Miyoung of the day where in Midsummar, Juhyun, Sooyoung and Yuri were caught by the Golden Army of Shin Yunsuk and taken to the exhibition stage. “Without even knowing us, or our own names, she got on top of that plaza and defied Master Shin to a trial by combat so she could save us in the eyes of the law.” Miyoung kept listening to her in silence.

“Leader Taeyeon has always been like that, Heechul told me once.” Juhyun continued. “I remember he used to tell me he would never dare to leave Leader Taeyeon’s side. Even if things were difficult, Taeyeon could make it bearable.” Miyoung looked away, a warm feeling contouring her insides. “Even though I’d gone back to Stoneguard and tried to get Taeyeon back to you that day, I never really felt like I paid it back the life that she saved. I didn’t do much, all I could do was count on Lord Kim Changmin to make a miracle happen and save Leader Taeyeon from Master Shin.”

“You did well, Juhyun.” Miyoung tried to comfort her handmaiden. “If not for you, Taeyeon would’ve really died that day.”

Juhyun just smiled softly in gratitude. “Tracing back all that happened to us, my personal opinion is that Heechul was right. Leader Taeyeon could make everything bearable because Taeyeon somehow could make every trouble be smaller than what it really was. He was trustworthy, just and had limpid convictions. No ill intentions or dirty schemes was part of his personality; having that kind of character in this time and age is so difficult. We’ve seen at first glance moves made in the shadows, killing innocent people and brothers of the land in pursuit of political gain.” Miyoung didn’t need to think twice in order to know what Juhyun was referring to. “When I look back and think about all that happened to us and what we’ve been through, I honestly think Leader Taeyeon’s gender should be the least of our concern, Lady Miyoung.” She said it, firmly with her own opinion. “Taeyeon saved us all. Every single one of us. And it truly feels disingenuous to not want her with us anymore just because you can’t marry this person.”

Miyoung just looked away, a little embarrassed by her own feelings.

“Above all else, Leader Taeyeon was the leader of this group and the one who we could trust all our hearts into, wasn’t it? You told me that once.” She recalled. “But now we lost that. And there’s no one else left to trust. And I think losing that hurts way more than any lie Leader Taeyeon could’ve told us.”

Miyoung sighed, feeling aching. “I see.”

“You don’t need to feel the same, Lady Miyoung.” Juhyun quickly added, not wanting to make Miyoung feel guilty or anything. “You just need to own the decision you took and move forward.”

Miyoung gulped. “It’s not that easy for me.” She said, uninterested.

“Would you like to see Leader Taeyeon one more time?”

“I don’t know.” Miyoung answered. “Sometimes I think it’s better to not see her, other times, I think it wouldn’t hurt to talk to her again for once.”

Juhyun just silently nodded her head. “Do you regret having Leader Taeyeon with us during this time?”

“Not really.” Miyoung said. “I regret not pushing her away earlier when I could.”

“Well, you’ve finally pushed her away and now you are here, suffering for it.” Miyoung just blinked, taking those words in. “Would you really feel better if you had pushed Leader Taeyeon away before all this trouble?”

The answer inside Miyoung’s mind and soul was a loud ‘no’, but she didn’t really say it. Juhyun covered Miyoung’s hand with her own. “I know you are hurt. I know Leader Taeyeon means something more than a friend to you despite everything. But she is not with us anymore and now you finally have the time and space to get over it and focus on what’s most important, Lady Miyoung.”

Miyoung sighed. “Rosegarden.”

“Rosegarden.” Juhyun said, firmly.

Miyoung nodded her head, finally leading her hand to fetch the metal spoon and serve herself a bit of soup broth.

~~*~~

Miyoung spent a couple of days going to the harbor, trying to look for boats and ships sailing to Busan, but it was futile. All the ships were either too small to manage boarding everyone in the group plus the animals, or the ships were under a strict schedule and couldn’t take any visitors or guests.

Miyoung was starting to think that they would stay on that island forever. Even with all the documentation Taeyeon has earned from Commander Kim, it was borderline impossible to board ships with Ginger and the other horses.

For one second, Miyoung thought about leaving the horses behind.

“No. I won’t leave Ginger behind, he will go with us.” She remembered Taeyeon saying it. Funny. She was the one leaving the horse behind. So much for her words.

Miyoung felt like a needle pressed against her chest. What was she even doing? How come she could have those sorts of thoughts when Taeyeon had a very solid reason to leave Ginger with her? Nevertheless, Ginger was a gift from Kim Chang-min. Miyoung couldn’t just abandon the animal on that island like that. What kind of person would she be if she did?

“What is happening to me?” She wondered to herself. “Why am I having those sorts of thoughts and feelings?” Her eyes caught the sight of a couple birds flying around the port of Mokpo Island. “Why am I becoming like this?”

That was really strange to her.

The memories of her hometown and her family in Rosegarden seemed to be so distant now. Her formal wedding with Master Shin and all the events that happened in Midsummar also seemed so distant and lost in the past.

But the days without Taeyeon were such a drag.

They were all uninteresting and boring and Miyoung had nothing to look forward to. How could she lose all the will to live because this person was no longer with her? She had no idea.

She sighed, completely lifeless. “Why did you have to lie to me like that, Taeyeon?” Miyoung covered her face with her own hands.

“Would you give me a second chance? If I committed a crime, the biggest of sins, would you still give me a second chance?”

“Taeyeon… I’d give you a thousand chances.”

Liar.

She wouldn’t give Taeyeon a second chance.

She couldn’t give Taeyeon a second chance.

“I’m happy you are with me, Miyoung.”

Miyoung felt something warming up inside. And when she remembered all the kisses and gestures Taeyeon and she shared, Miyoung felt embarrassed by her own feelings.

Feeling ashamed of herself, Miyoung left the harbor and went to a public sauna to wash herself up.

~~*~~

When Miyoung stopped by the walled terrace of that house, she felt her heart skip a beat.

It was a gisaeng house.

And the last time Miyoung visited a gisaeng house, things didn’t end up really well. Especially because she had basically cold murdered two servants from its place.

Because she was jealous of Taeyeon.

How things turned out.

But Miyoung was determined to not let anything bad happen that day. She was there not to slay anyone. But as a last resort to make her group of friends leave Mokpo Island.

She was there to find Officer Nam Yong-Su, the last person Taeyeon had made contact with on the island. Maybe he could help her, he was from the military after all. When the owner of the Gisaeng House and two servants came quickly to the entrance gate, Miyoung waited in silence for her introduction to end.

“Welcome to The Siren’s Nest. I’m Madame Lin and I’m here to serve you. In what ways can I help you?”

“I’m Hwang Miyoung, Lady of Rosegarden, and I’m here to see officer Nam Yong-Su.” She said, showing the identification tag scripted with her own name.

The lady took a full bow before answering. “As you wish... please, follow me, M’Lady.”

Miyoung followed all the three women, her eyes looking around every step they went in. That gisaeng house in particular seemed to be smaller than the one they stayed previously in Dunesport.

When they finally arrived at the designated room, the lady took another bow, introducing Lady Miyoung to the man indoors.

“It’s not very wise to stay in a room with a man by yourself, M’lady…” She advised.

“It’s fine.” Miyoung dismissed her worries, not wanting anyone around for that time being. Madame Lin seemed a little surprised by her own words.

Miyoung just sighed. Sometimes she just hated those sorts of traditions. “I need to talk to him about serious matters and should not be delayed in any shape or form. So I’m not really concerned with the general etiquette of this house. Officer Nam Yong-Su and I need to have a conversation and I’d sincerely appreciate it if you people don’t make it so difficult.”

The Madame Owner of the place just blinked, accepting her words reluctantly. She and the other maidens left them on their own accord, and Miyoung felt a little relieved.

She slid the door open, walking inside the room. The temperature of the room was warmer and there were some incense gums burning on the corner of the place, giving it a sharp lingering sweetness of aroma. Miyoung didn’t like it. Too sweet for her taste.

Two women giggled at a man sitting at a small dinner set table. He was with his waistband removed, with the upper part of his male hanbok completely open, revealing his chest and abdomen. Miyoung felt a little disgusted by the view, as she noticed his chest hair swollen in sweat. She looked away, a little uneasy with the sight in front of hers.

He scoffed, finding it a little amusing. “It’s been one week, Lady Miyoung. I thought that by now you’d be really away from here.”

“I can’t seem to find boats heading to Busan.” She revealed it, not really proud of that achievement.

“And then you decided to come after me?”

“Yes.”

“This isn’t a good place for you to be in, Lady Miyoung.” He said, smiling cheekily, mainly for the company of the two girls than anything else.

“I need to talk to you and I remembered Taeyeon told me you usually spend your days around this place.” She said it, her eyes looking around the room. “So I thought it wouldn’t be bad to give you a visit.” The sheer mention of Taeyeon’s name made Officer Nam Yong-Su posture completely change. He pulled his sleeves back to his shoulders and arms.

“Are you here in order to talk about Taeyeon?”

“Yes.”

He gestured his hand to the door nearby and turned to tell the two women serving him. “Please, let us talk in peace.”

“Yes, M’lord.”

“When we’re finished, I'll call you back again.” The two girls smiled at him and left the room without many troubles.

“Whatever you wanna talk about Taeyeon, I’m all ears.” He said.

Miyoung just frowned, feeling something unordinary about the way Yong-Su treated Taeyeon as a whole. There was something inside Miyoung telling her that Nam Yong-Su saw Taeyeon differently than everybody else. She had her hunches about what it could be and she wanted to be sure about it. Especially before leaving Mokpo Island.

If it was something important, Miyoung needed to know as well.

Miyoung walked forward, adjusting herself to sit at the small table just in front of him. Her eyes quickly fell to his abdomen again.

“Oh, excuse-me.” He said, putting his hanbok straight and finally covering her exposed chest. “Sometimes I forget that I’m in the company of someone that is not a ginseng.”

Miyoung nodded her head, not really minding with that. What caught her thoughts was why she wasn’t so burdened with Nam Yong-Su’s overall ness. If anything she was more disgusted by his look rather than being shy or embarrassed by it. She wondered what she would be feeling if it were Taeyeon rather than Nam Yong-Su there.

“What you wanna talk about?” He asked, pouring some alcohol on his cup.

Miyoung decided to shrug her thoughts off and finally raised her head, looking at the officer’s eyes.

“Taeyeon asked you a couple of things before leaving this island, didn’t he?” Miyoung asked, reminding herself to call Taeyeon as a man in front of military men.

“Yes.” He said, drinking up his alcohol.

“That means he somewhat trusts you.” Miyoung added up, making Nam Yong-Su straighten up his posture. “And Taeyeon doesn’t trust most men from the military. If he trusts you, then it means I can trust you as well.”

“You seem very loyal to him.” He said, approvingly. Miyoung blinked, not sure what to answer. He continued. “That’s good. Taeyeon is a good man and he needs all the support and loyalty he can get.”

She nodded, seconding his words. “He gave me all those gifts, yet, they can’t seem to bring me good luck.”

“What do you need good luck for?”

“Finding boats heading to Busan.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard. Busan is a big province and the Autumn Festival is about to come. More and more ships should arrive here heading to Busan to watch the festivals.”

“Autumn Festival?” Miyoung felt very interested in that. She loved going to the Summer Festivals back in Rosegarden where the province would show its colors the most. There were so many things to do and to see in those festivals, Miyoung never felt bored by attending those fairs.

Nam Yong-Su nodded. “Every year, Busan holds the Autumn Festival, the biggest festival celebrating Autumn Season in Joseon. It’s very popular and many people in the south coast head to Busan to watch the festivals.”

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