Miyoung blocked Taeyeon’s advances with her wooden sword, and upon doing so, the lady smiled, proud of herself. Taeyeon was moving slowly, trying to make Lady Miyoung not lose sight of her moves and direction so she could follow Taeyeon’s attacking stances and defend them.

Lady Miyoung was learning fast, but she still had a long way to go till her basic defensive moves could become pure reflexes. Nevertheless, Taeyeon wasn’t so hurried with that either. Not only was it exciting to see Lady Miyoung improve herself day by day, there was no need to skip lessons and make everything harder for Miyoung.

When Taeyeon made a turn with the sheath of the blade to hit Miyoung on her lower abdomen, Miyoung blocked it successfully, keeping both weapons locked at their meeting spot.

“Guess you need to be faster than that, Bastard Taeyeon.” Miyoung joked, smiling.

“You don’t know what you’re asking, Lady Miyoung.”

“Oh yes, I do!”

Taeyeon chuckled, straightening her posture, long lowering her scabbard down. “No, you don’t. But keep it up like this, and it won’t be long till I fight you for real and good.”

“It’s just crazy that I’ve been taught sword-fighting for a week or so and I’m already acting up like this!”

“Confidence is important, so it’s not a bad thing to have for yourself.”

Miyoung smiled, lowering her arm as well, a little tired from that lesson. “Thank you, this is only becoming real because of you.”

“You’re welcome, Lady Miyoung.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Lady Miyoung? You don’t want me to call you Lady Miyoung?”

“You called me Miyoung plenty of times before, why suddenly you call me by my title when we are together?”

“Sometimes it’s important to not forget who we are.” Taeyeon answered, but she felt like Miyoung did not like it. The Lady sighed, lowering her gaze. “This is not a denial of my part, Lady Miyoung.”

“Sometimes…” She started saying. “It feels like it is.”

Taeyeon did not know what to say.

“We are more than our titles or birth-classes, Taeyeon. You and your group of bastard men were the one teaching me that. So why are you the one still holding to those titles?”

Taeyeon knew the answer but she did not dare to say.

“Please don’t call me Lady Miyoung when we are free to be who we really are. Friends. And lovers.”

Taeyeon gulped, closing her eyes. “I see. If that’s what you want.”

“It is!” Miyoung smiled. “I swear, Taeyeon, nothing in the world would be better than having you by my side.”

“Smokey pork ribs from Ironstow disagrees with you.” She joked around, leading the conversation to somewhere else.

Miyoung chuckled. “Does it?”

“Yeah, it’s life-changing, you know?”

Miyoung smiled and kissed Taeyeon on the cheek. “Wait till you try our chicken wings. No one cooks chicken better than Rosegarden.”

Taeyeon rolled her eyes. “You’re making me hungry, Miyoung!”

“You started talking about food!”

”But it was you who mentioned chicken, and I love chicken!”

“I thought you loved pork ribs!”

“I do! But chicken is nice too!”

Miyoung giggled. “Let’s have some dinner then! It’s good to eat after exercising so much!”

“Yosh! Okay, let’s go!” Taeyeon called, excitedly. Her hand entwined with Lady Miyoung’s as they left their spot and walked back to the hostel they were staying in.

~~*~~

Before they could enter the lodge, Taeyeon and Miyoung released their hands, not wanting to show the people around the place that they could potentially have something going on between them.

Taeyeon knew Miyoung didn’t like that, but there was no other way to keep going with that relationship if not for hiding it from everybody else. Their own group friends included.

As Miyoung and Taeyeon entered the inn, Taeyeon had her stomach groaning and soon both ordered a bowl of kimchi soup, rice, fish skillets and fermented tofu.

Seohyun, Yuri and Sooyoung quickly joined them. Eating together with all of them, Taeyeon felt her heart feel lighter and untroubled. It’s been a while since Taeyeon has been in the company of only women. And when they started talking about their issues and problems, Taeyeon felt like she wanted to participate in it as well, telling her own experiences, but soon she realized she couldn’t really do it, as it could break that facade.

As the hours passed by in the company of Miyoung, Sooyoung, Yuri and Seohyun, Taeyeon started to feel the burden of her lie deepening in her soul.

And when the four women finished eating and finally went off to a public sauna to have their daily bath, giggling on their way out, Taeyeon stayed alone at her table, her eyes looking at the bottom of her now empty bowl of soup. She closed her eyes, leaning her head against her hand and she almost had the urge to cry.

“What should I do?” She asked herself in hope God or someone could answer her the best way possible.

All she ever wanted was to reveal once and for all for everyone there who she really was. But she knew that was a risky move. Not only would the boys leave her for good, Miyoung would feel betrayed and cheated on.

“What am I doing?” She asked herself. “How can I lie to her like that?”

Taeyeon gulped, feeling her chest fill up with guilt.

As the servant of the inn took the plates back to the counter, Taeyeon sighed. She went upstairs to keep Miyoung's belongings safe inside her own room, and decided to leave the stay in search of a brothel house to have her own bath.

~~*~~

Taeyeon had finished dressing herself up when the lady beside her smiled at her in the mirror. “You make yourself look like a very handsome man.”

“It’s not really my intention.” Taeyeon answered, gently. The scent of lavender emerging from her own skin and hair. “I guess I’m just lucky that I look like one when I’m wearing male clothing.”

“You have soft lines. If you wear feminine clothing, you’ll look like a woman, and if you wear male clothing, you will look like a man. Not many people are like this. Here in Gwangju, we believe people like you are special.”

“Special?”

“Yeah. We call them “moonchildren.” The moon can take many faces and shapes, but it’s still the same moon. People who can take different faces are like the moon. They appear to be a certain shape, or a certain face, at specific times, but they’re just one person with one only identity. This specific identity might not be seen by the others and it’s hidden from the outside world. Like the dark side of the moon. Mysterious and unreachable.”

“I’m not unreachable.”

“I’m not saying that you are. I’m just saying you have the genes of the moon. If you want to appear as a male, you will appear as male, and no one will be able to distinguish you from your real self. And if you want to appear as female, you will appear as a female. Those people are unusual and very rare. That is why we think they are special.”

“Genes of the moon?” She asked, confused.

“Some say they were kissed by the stars when they were born.”

“I don’t think it’s my case.” Taeyeon had the urge to laugh at her words.

“Why not?”

“I was born at a brothel house.”

The girl chuckled. “The moon doesn’t care for birthlines or birth classes. Some men can pass as women when they dress themselves up and some women can pass as men. But not everyone can take that route so easily. You’re very fortunate that you can resemble a maleborn without any trouble, just by putting some male hanboks on.”

“I guess so.”

“Moonchildren are destined to do great things.”

“I’m not really looking forward to doing so.”

“But you’re already doing it.”

Taeyeon frowned. “Am I?”

“You’re crossing the whole land of Joseon to reach the capital city. That’s a great thing to do on its own.”

Taeyeon blinked, thinking about what that girl from the brothel called Bada was saying. She smiled,placing her hand over Taeyeon’s shoulder. “You’re underestimating the challenges of your journey, my dear. Not everyone would have their hearts to last as long as you have yours.”

“Yeah, I know.” She seconded.

“And not every woman would pass as maleborns just by wearing male outfits. Believe me, many have tried. No one has found out about you yet. Through our eyes, that’s a gift from the stars. Only special ones have their identities masked so easily.”

“My skills in sword fighting might be a helper too.”

“Oh yes, definitely.” The young girl helped Taeyeon tie her hair down. “I’ve met some women like you.”

“You have?”

“Yeah. Female warriors. Daughters in search of honouring their fathers. It’s not hard to find them here in Gwangju. City is a port. Once or twice, people from all different places and backgrounds come here in search of a boat to sail on.”

“That seems interesting.” Taeyeon added.

“Gwangju is the city of freedom, my dear. Here, you can be whoever you want. Here, you can find your place. If you are in Gwangju, it doesn’t matter who you are or where you are from, you can fight for a better place for you to fly in the sky, just like a seagull.”

“As high as freedom, huh?” Taeyeon mentioned, recalling the words of the Han Family, the masters of that province.

“As High As Freedom.” The woman soon followed, smiling. Once she finished tying Taeyeon’s hair, she stepped back for a second. “There you go, as fresh as new.”

Taeyeon turned her head to the mirror, looking at her own image, her silvered-color outfit completely clean and adjusted on her.

“Is it heavy?” The girl asked her.

“Heavy?”

“The burden of making yourself look like a man?”

Taeyeon blinked, thinking about her question. “I would say so. Not so much about people’s expectations but it’s a struggle for me. There is a constant internal battle inside of me. Of whom I am, and my true feelings. Especially towards the people I’m fond of.”

She squeezed Taeyeon’s shoulder with her hand. “See, the dark side of the moon.”

Taeyeon chuckled. “What would you do?”

“Me?”

“Yes, if you were me, and had this constant battle inside of yours, what would you do?”

“What is it that you’re battling against?”

Taeyeon sighed. “My friends don’t know about me yet. Nor the person I’m growing fond of. And that is killing me.”

Bada held her hands and gave them a light squeeze. “Sometimes, we have to make sacrifices.” She answered. “To save ourselves, and the people dear to us.”

“Should I keep lying then?”

“You need to save yourself, Taeyeon. The moon is helping you. You should take advantage of that.” Taeyeon wasn’t sure that was the advice she needed. “It’s very honourable that you don’t want to hurt the people you like with this lie, but they won’t be as forgiving towards you if you reveal it to them. We all have a deep secret we rather take to our grave. Yours is your real gender. Take it to your grave.”

Taeyeon blinked, lowering her gaze to the floor. “I’m not really sure.”

“Don’t feel so bad about yourself, Taeyeon. This is the only way you can go to Hanyang without being endangered. Nevertheless, it is the only way provinces will hear what you have to say.”

“Yeah, I know.” She sighed, knowing that the woman wasn’t entirely wrong. “Thanks, Bada.” She said, although she did not sound pleased at all.

“You’re welcome, my dear.”

Taeyeon exhaled, her eyes looking at the girl reflected in the mirror. Girl. Taeyeon was a girl. A woman. But it’s been a while she doesn’t feel like it. Will that lie last forever? Will that lie last till she finally finds Park Minshik, the man she is supposed to find in Hanyang?

That lie was heavy.

And Taeyeon only hoped the moon, or whatever the stars, helped her during that case.

“If you kissed me when I was born, please kiss my again.” She prayed to the moon. “Or else Lady Miyoung and I will pay the price in the worst way possible.”

~~*~~

Taeyeon was walking around the port, observing all the ships anchored in the city. She tried to convince some captains to let them board it, but the minute Taeyeon says they have 3 horses with them, the answer quickly changes to a “No.”

How could she find a spot for Ginger and the other horses in those ships? Not even a cargo ship boarding to Jeju Island accepted them.

It’s been four days since the whole group was reunited again in the port-district of Gwangju, and although Taeyeon was happy that everything was calm and alright, she knew that the group couldn’t stay there for long.

Taeyeon sighed, upset that she couldn’t manage to find a spot for the horses on those ships and went back to the inn. Heechul and Jonghyun were sitting at a table in the corner of the room, and Taeyeon quickly joined them. “Nothing.” She said, lowly. “No boats are allowing us to bring our horses on board.”

Heechul and Jonghyun exchanged looks. “Don’t feel so bad about it, man. It’s gonna work out in the end.”

“Yeah, I know.” Taeyeon sighed. “I just hope it doesn’t take too long.”

“Don’t be so pushy to leave the city just yet.” Jonghyun advised. “We still must wait till Lady Miyoung gets well.”

“Gets well? Is she sick or something?” Taeyeon asked, worried.

“Seohyun told us she is feeling tired and airy, with a bloated stomach and all. Might be indigestion for something she ate.” Jonghyun replied, calmly. “She is resting in her room.”

Taeyeon blinked. Indigestion? Taeyeon wasn’t feeling any indigestion and she ate the same thing Miyoung ate the night before. However, when a thought struck her mind, Taeyeon had a clue of what Miyoung was going through.

~~*~~

The mug of herbal tea was starting to get hotter in her hands. Taeyeon glanced over the green hot tea, still wondering if that was the right thing to do. Probably it wasn’t, but Taeyeon couldn’t stand still while Miyoung suffered the symptoms of her monthly moon.

When she knocked on the door, she heard Sooyoung asking her to wait for a second. Taeyeon obeyed, her lips closing together to blow the heat of the tea away. As a couple of seconds went by, Seohyun slid the door open, placing herself in front of Taeyeon, not allowing her to enter the room.

“I’m sorry, Leader Taeyeon, but Lady Miyoung isn’t feeling well today.” She bowed to her. Her eyes gazed at the floor as if she was embarrassed to say the real reason why Lady Miyoung wasn’t feeling fine that day.

“Jonghyun told me she woke up feeling bloated and with indigestion.”

Seohyun just nodded her head. “Yes. My apologies but I don’t think she will be able to leave her room today. And she’ll need to skip some days of sword- practicing.”

“It’s her monthly moon, isn’t it?” Taeyeon guessed, and Seohyun blinked, looking at her, obliviously giving Taeyeon the answer she already knew. “There is this herbal tea I drink. It’s very good for one’s overall health. If Lady Miyoung is in pain, I believe this can mitigate it.” She explained. “I usually drink it myself when I’m having indigestion. Give it to her.” She asked, offering the mug of tea.

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