"I hate you."

Those were the last words I heard from you moments before I boarded the plane, and that was, like, ten years ago when my family decided to move to America.

Do you still hate me? The question has bogged me down on various occasions ever since. 

The decision to move to a different continent was sudden, and I was very well aware of that, but what could have I done to prevent it back then? Look, I was just 14 at the time, barely able to go to your house without my mom calling me every after 15 minutes to check on me, so, really, what could have I done? Apparently, there was something I could have done differently, but I learned that a tad too late.

I have an older brother and a younger sister, and we all learned about the sudden move during one of those Sunday dinners that everyone in my family was required to attend. We were told that my dad was offered a job in America, so we had to move. I cried that night. I cried so hard that I think I even scared our neighbor's cat.

I cried my eyes out for god knows how long. I stopped eating. I wouldn't talk to anyone. I just cried like the child that I was. Thinking of it now, it never did me any good, really. It just made my eyes red and my face puffy. In short, it made me look ugly. I did manage to calm down and stop crying. That was probably the next day or the day after that, and it was the day I called you, Ahn Yujin.

"Ya, are you still alive? I've been trying to reach you. You didn't even go to school!" you said, sounding really annoyed.

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry," I replied, sincerely apologetic.

"Really? That's all you got to say?"

I sighed. "I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry."

"How about you tell me first what happened?"

I didn't know where to begin. "I—uh—we..."

"Did you bump your head or something?" you asked, and I could tell how frustrated you were by the tone of your voice.

"How I wish that was what happened, but no."

"For goodness' sake, just tell me!"

Yes, you were indeed frustrated. I could picture you in your bed hugging a pillow tightly.

"We're moving to America," I said, hoping it would make sense, but it sounded flat even to me.

"America?"

"Yes. United States of America."

"I know where that is! But what the heck are you talking about? Moving?"

I wish I knew how to explain it better. "Yes. We're moving."

"Oh my god. Can you provide more details?"

I wish I could have had.