The picture of her and Jinsoul was shaking in her hand. Yesterday she had gone straight home showered, patched her face up or really her mother did and got out the box filled with old pictures and memories. Now she had spent all last night and today looking at them. Like the countless movie and water park tickets. All the little notes Jinsoul would write her and the drawings Sooyoung made of the girl. Her sister is across from her staring. Sooyoung can’t handle it for some reason. She had never cried like this over Jinsoul.

But right now she was wailing like a newborn baby. “Can you like shut up?” Glaring at Hyunjin she throws her pillow at the laughing girl. It was like the stages of a breakup but Sooyoung hadn’t dated Jinsoul…she just had their babies names picked out and the wedding planned. First, it was denial, Sooyoung thought Jinsoul was having a bad day when she told her that she never wanted to talk to her again.

Then that bad day turned into a week and Jinsoul would lock herself in a bathroom stall with how much Sooyoung bothered her. Then a week turned into a month…months turned into a year and years turned into this. Sooyoung once had a tab keeping up with how many times Jinsoul told her to leave her alone but Sooyoung kept coming around. 

Next stage was the pleading. It was mixed in with the denial. Sooyoung asked her every day what she did wrong. What she could do to fix it but she always got the same answer. Nothing…because Jinsoul would ignore her. Sooyoung remembers one day she sat at the library and annoyed Jinsoul for hours. Every ten minutes she would ask why Jinsoul hated her. When the younger girl wouldn’t answer, her dark hair in a low ponytail was pulled by Sooyoung and she would receive a smack to the arm by Jinsoul.  

Then the insults started to happen, Sooyoung would call the girl ugly, fat, stupid, stuck up, y, cold, boring, a prude, everything imaginable. For a year she would always apologize afterward…telling Jinsoul that she didn’t mean it and that she was probably the most perfect human being Sooyoung had ever met. But the girl in specs would just look at her and then go about her business. It was like she was some ghost to Jinsoul. The only time the girl acknowledged her existence is when she was telling her to leave her alone. 

Sooyoung cries a little harder when she remembers how desperate she sounded. “Yeah yeah leave you alone you tell me that every time well guess what Jinsnot.” The teenager would look at her clearly annoyed. “No? I’m not leaving you alone, Why would I do that… anyways will you come over today?” Jinsoul was pulling her hair out at that point. Sooyoung was persistent because well she was obsessed with Jinsoul. But not anymore. She was over Jinsoul, she wasn’t going to let her have this hold on her anymore. 

There’s a particular picture she pulls out, it’s Jinsoul kissing her on the cheek and a whole new flood of emotions pull over her. Her anger phase has been for the past couple of years. When she started to not apologize for her rudeness when she actually wanted to hurt Jinsoul just like she hurt her. Now this phase was probably the worst. It was the relapse, the one where she just wanted to be held and cry over Jinsoul.

Throwing the picture down she starts to breathe heavily. Who did Jinsoul think she was? Some that just accepts half-assed apologies with no explanations. Sooyoung did do that but now she played the reverse card. How could Jinsoul just around with for years putting her through this wishy-washy ghosting and then just popping back in and smiling begging Sooyoung to be friends again? No Sooyoung was not having it.  

In a way, it was all that Sooyoung has wanted these past few years. Just for one day for Jinsoul to snap out of it and be her best friend again. But now that it happened she understood it wasn’t that easy. Sooyoung still feared that one-day Jinsoul would do it again. She still didn’t know why Jinsoul did it…and when she had solid answers then…then she would consider being Jinsoul’s other half again.

It was only fair, right?

It was all so confusing to her. Almost eight years ago Jinsoul said she was done with her. Only a couple of weeks ago Jinsoul said she wanted to be in her life again. What made Jinsoul change her mind? Did she feel sorry for Sooyoung again? If that was the case she would clock the out of Jinsoul. She didn’t need a pity friend. Even if Jinsoul was all she ever wanted. Sooyoung wanted answers, needed them or she was going to go crazy.

She wasn’t the kind of person to play pretend and act all happy with Jinsoul when the girl figuratively ripped her heart out and ate it for breakfast. Jinsoul better have one hell of an explanation or Sooyoung was going to cut her out of her life. Just like she cut Sooyoung out of hers. It would take a lot for Sooyoung to do it because Jinsoul meant so much to her but she would figure it out. Some way or another.

What did Jinsoul truly want from her? 

Hyunjin is sat across from her, just staring, “you okay now?”

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Her sister shrugs and continues to stare. It annoys Sooyoung. Throwing down the pictures she lays on her bed. Her face was sore from Doyeon. The girl even had the audacity to DM her a set of pictures on Instagram with the message ‘I know I’m not the only one that got from that.’ Sooyoung spent a considerable amount of time looking at them because Doyeon was hot. But she felt nothing at all. Jinsoul was still on her mind and it was hard to even begin to think about anyone else.  

So the pictures of Doyeon’s body was deleted and instead she spent the time on Instagram looking at Jinsoul’s feed. Jinsoul was so cute, Sooyoung cried into her pillow after looking at all the pictures. It was a few selfies of course at a weird angle. Videos of Chaewon being annoyed with her. Pictures of Gundam models and plushies. Her attempts at various celebrity impressions that were bad, except the singing ones and a bunch of pictures of the sky. 

All captioned I love you. Clear skies, night skies, cloudy or stormy. All captioned the same thing. Sooyoung cried so much last night. Just thinking of how it could really be. She hated this phase. Maybe she should just play pretend.

There’s a knock on the door. Yerim slowly peeks her head in and so does Hyejoo. Sooyoung raises her brow, what did they want? When the door fully opens she doesn’t know whether to be angry or sad. Whatever emotion it is, she wants to start crying again.

Hyunjin runs out of the room as the other three are standing there. Jinsoul is standing behind the twins with puffy eyes, dark circles making the redness in them more prominent. The girl was still in her clothes from yesterday. Sooyoung just tries to find something in her eyes. She sees pain mostly and a bit of sadness. Jinsoul tries to speak out but it becomes a strain of choked out words. The twins go to sit on Hyunjin’s bed and the older girl returns with a bag of popcorn.

It’s a stare down. Jinsoul awkwardly standing while Sooyoung is lying on her bed. The blonde whines a little but it up. Sooyoung could tell she was having a hard time. “I, will you talk to me?” Sooyoung shakes her head no. If she would talk right now she would cry. “Why? Please, Sooyoung you’re not giving me a chance.”

“So? You didn’t give me a chance.” Jinsoul throws her head back and slaps her hands on her thighs out of frustration. 

Jinsoul brings her gaze back to her. “Seriously? We were doing so good.”

“Doesn’t matter if we were doing good, doesn’t change the past and how ty you were to me.” Sooyoung snaps. They were pretending that Jinsoul didn’t do what she did. Sooyoung was stupid to forget. She was having such a hard time forgiving Jinsoul.

Jinsoul steps forward, “I’m trying to make up for the past Sooyoung, I apologized-.”

Sooyoung stands up making the girl stop midsentence. She strides over to the poster board at the end of her bed and holds it up for Jinsoul, “you mean this half-assed ?” Jinsoul cries as Sooyoung tears it in half and then into smaller pieces. When she’s finished she tosses the pieces at Jinsoul’s feet.

“ you Jinsoul, I don’t want an apology I want an explanation and then you can apologize all you want.” The blonde shakes her head and squats down to pick up the pieces. Sooyoung glances up at her sisters who are watching the exchange like an entertainment show. 

“I can’t give you one you just have to trust me. I won’t ever hurt you again I promise!” Jinsoul pleads out as she stands back up with her poster in hand. Sooyoung knocks them out of her hands.

Raising her voice she stands her ground, “no Jinsoul I want to know why you hated me so much! Why the would you do that to your best friend!” The blonde looks down at the poster board. All ripped up in pieces crumbled in her hands. 

“I can’t tell you.” She whispers.

“Yes, you can!” Sooyoung yells back.

Jinsoul pushes her, “No I can’t because you’ll hate me!” She screams out and one of the girls' watching gasps. Probably Yerim, Sooyoung shakes her head. 

Another voice speaks up, “well Jindori you’re not in a great position right now either so might as well tell her…what have you got to lose?” Yerim explains and it was true. Sooyoung was not in any way going to forgive Jinsoul until she got full closure and if the girl was never going to give her that they might as well kiss their friendship goodbye because it would never happen.  

Sooyoung stands completely still as Jinsoul stumbles forward grabbing at her tank top. She starts to shake when Jinsoul gives her the puppy dog eyes, “no that’s not working this time!” She shouts and pushes the girl’s hands off of her. Jinsoul stomps on the ground like a kid who got their candy taken away from them.

“Sooyoung stop acting like this we don’t have to fight anymore!” Crossing her arms she shakes her head no. There was no way.

Jinsoul pretty much throws a hissy fit right in front her. She wasn’t getting what she wanted, Sooyoung was not being the girl she wanted her to be. “Fine, then I’ll make you be my friend again.” 

“How so?”

The blonde shrugs and laughs, Sooyoung thinks she’s gone insane, “I don’t know annoy you? Pretty much follow you around? Beg you until you finally give in.” Sooyoung’s inner ego is eating this up. Jinsoul begging for her back then was some fantasy she had conjured up in her mind. Teenage Sooyoung would have probably given in right there but right now she wasn’t having any of it no matter how good it felt.

“You will be my friend again regardless of what you want.” The possessive tone makes her nerves electrified. Jinsoul was giving her this look that screamed danger and for some odd reason, Sooyoung was loving it. God why couldn’t Jinsoul just tell her, why couldn’t they really just work this out.

Sooyoung snorts, “what are you some stalker? I’ll put a restraining order on you.”

Jinsoul rolls her eyes, “Yeah right you probably secretly enjoy this.” Her smile falls and Jinsoul laughs but it’s not a nice one because the girl is drunk off anger. It was just like that one game they played against Kyungri. “Is that what you want Sooyoung? For me to act like you? Well, I am because I’m not giving you up this time.”

Sooyoung has no idea what the girl is talking about. “Give me up?” The blonde shakes her head and turns to leave. Sooyoung doesn’t get an answer, Jinsoul just left. Sooyoung is confused by the temper tantrum and goes to sit back on her bed.

Hyejoo calls out, “what was that all about?” Her sisters knew the basics of why they weren’t friends anymore. Sooyoung had told them last night and all three of them were disappointed in Jinsoul. They had always looked up to her. Hyunjin was the only one that really knew all that went on and she didn’t really like Jinsoul that much in the first place. She hated how loud and emotional the girl was.

Then all the sudden Jinsoul’s back in the room with a bag in hand with a few boxes of pizza. “I’m staying over.” The blonde states matter of factly. Sooyoung gives her the worst look imaginable. Jinsoul sits her overnight bag on the floor and gives the hollering girls the pizza. Sooyoung is already being pushed aside. Her sisters were supposed to be here for her. But they were won over with a greasy pizza. 

Jinsoul turns to her and smiles, “so you wanna cuddle?” Sooyoung cannot believe what came out of Jinsoul’s mouth.

“ no I want you to leave.” Jinsoul’s smile drops along with her arms that were spread out. Sooyoung would like to do that. But she keeps reminding herself she’s mad at Jinsoul and she’s not her plaything. No matter how bad she wanted to be Jinsoul’s girl again. She wasn’t going to be the girl Jinsoul wanted her to be. 

Her sisters notice the tension and the twins hop up grabbing onto the blonde and dragging her off, “come on Jindori let’s go play Mario Kart!” Jinsoul protests but two teens on the side of her are too much to handle and she’s taken out of the room.

Sooyoung sighs out in relief thankful that her sisters did that for her. Hyejoo winked at her before closing the door. Hyunjin is still chowing down on the pizza when she comes over to sit next to her, throwing an arm over her shoulders. Hyunjin never comforted her but when she did Sooyoung would always instantly feel better. “I think you shouldn’t be so hard on her.”

Pushing her sister she whines at her, “seriously you too?”

Hyunjin shrugs, “I mean what if she had a good reason to cut you off? You were ugly. She clearly regrets it, give her time and she’ll tell you.” Sooyoung sniffles. Her sister was stupid and she reminded herself to never tell her secrets to her again.

“You’re supposed to be on my side.” She mutters out.

“I am but she’s hurting too Sooyoung.” Hyunjin knows there’s clearly something up between the two. The poster board. This weird tension between them. The obvious longing for each other. She could tell her sister wanted to give in but her need for an explanation was valid. Jinsoul was also suffering, when Hyunjin was taking out the trash she spotted the blue jeep. That was an hour ago, she was probably building herself up for this.

Sooyoung nods, but she still isn’t going to forgive Jinsoul that easily. She can come around all she likes but Sooyoung isn’t going to give her that satisfaction of being ‘friends’ until she had a plausible explanation. Hyunjin pats her on the back before telling her she’s heading over to Heejin’s. Sooyoung smiles and thanks her sister before turning over in her bed, crawling underneath the sheets. 

She starts to cry again. For no reason except remembering the past. Jinsoul’s hurtful words replaying in her mind over again. Sooyoung must have been crying for an hour. Her eyes were swollen and her pillow was a little wet from all the tears. There’s a bunch of tissues littered in the corner too. It was pathetic really. Finally the sleep was coming to her even though it was only around seven. She guesses she could go to sleep and maybe Jinsoul would leave.

Turning on her back she looks at the ceiling before closing her eyes. Not only a few minutes later she feels the bed dip. Forcing her eyes back open she gasps when Jinsoul is hovering over top of her staring at her face. Sooyoung just lets the girl crawl on top of her and Jinsoul straddles her waist and pins her arms to her side so she can’t move. “You were crying?” 

Sooyoung doesn’t say anything as the girl studies her face. Jinsoul’s eyes flicker between her own searching for something. Sooyoung’s heartbeat quickens at the warmth Jinsoul’s giving off. She silently thanks god there’s a blanket between them because she doesn’t think she’d be able to handle Jinsoul’s thighs wrapped around her waist like that. 

It turns out she spoke too soon because Jinsoul’s pulling the cover down and maneuvering herself under before laying on top of her. “No, get off of me you weirdo!” Jinsoul doesn’t listen and pulls the cover back over them. Sooyoung is squirming beneath her slapping her in the shoulder. Once the blonde has them covered back up she tangles her legs with Sooyoung’s and wraps her arms around the girl’s body.

Sooyoung is completely restricted. Her legs have succumbed to Jinsoul’s own, her arms are locked to her side and she can’t move. The blonde sighs as she lays her head on her chest and squeezes her whole body. Sooyoung knows she should probably try to fight the girl off but Jinsoul being wrapped around her like this was making her feel a type of way.

They sit in silence. Sooyoung not really knowing what was going on while Jinsoul was enjoying how sweaty Sooyoung was. Sooyoung peeks down when Jinsoul moves her head to the side and inhales. “Mm you smell good,” Jinsoul mumbles out against her chest. Sooyoung knows she didn’t smell good because she was greasy and forgot to put deodorant on after she showered yesterday.

“You’re so gross get off of me.” Jinsoul chuckles at Sooyoung trying to break loose from her embrace. It wasn’t fair to her. Jinsoul had this effect on her that she couldn’t resist. She was still so attached to her. The blonde just holds her tighter. Jinsoul knew exactly what she was doing. She knew Sooyoung didn’t have the willpower to resist her.

No matter how many times she’d tell herself. She’d always be the girl Jinsoul wants her to be. Because she never changed like Jinsoul did. Sooyoung was still the same Sooyoung and Jinsoul still loved her for who she was, not for the person she wanted Sooyoung to be. Sooyoung however didn’t know who she loved. The girl who she thought Jinsoul was or the real Jinsoul. She didn’t know which was which.

The girl plants a kiss to her chest and it makes Sooyoung freeze. Her lips were so soft.  Jinsoul laughs again and lays her head on her chest again, “you know you love me.” Sooyoung scoffs and turns her head to the side and stares at the wall. “Say it Sooyoung, say you love me.” The blonde whispers out like she was almost afraid. 

“I don’t, actually I hate you and I wish you would get off of me.” Jinsoul doesn’t take it to heart because both of them knows the truth. Sooyoung whines when Jinsoul leans up and bites her neck hard. It makes her shiver and feels something down below. Sooyoung scolds herself for being so sensitive. “Don’t do that!”

Jinsoul buries her face in her neck, cool breaths of air are hitting her skin. “You liked it when we were in Mr. Kim’s room.” Sooyoung’s heart stops at the memory. Out of all the times, she’s ed hot girls she’s never felt on fire like she did on that day. Sooyoung has had some steamy quickies to passionate all-nighters but not once has she felt that way again with another girl.    

“I’m so glad you never actually left me alone because I don’t think I could handle it. You not being around.” Jinsoul tells her. Sooyoung has no idea what went through Jinsoul’s head those years. The blonde was still a mystery to her. But now she was starting to think Jinsoul actually did care about her. Because why would she go through all this trouble just to try and win Sooyoung back. “I kissed you that day because I was starting to lose your attention.” 

Sooyoung recalls the kiss. It was…definitely something. She couldn’t stop thinking about it forever. “And now you’re trying to run away again, don’t tell me I have to kiss you.” Sooyoung groans and shakes her head. She did not want Jinsoul to kiss her because she doesn’t know what kind of feelings that would incite. Also, she knew Jinsoul was only kidding by the way she was laughing.

“Was it out of frustration?” She asks. She really never knew what the kiss meant. But she guesses Jinsoul did it to win her attention back as she said. And she surely did. Sooyoung couldn’t keep her eyes off Jinsoul after that. 

She can feel Jinsoul nod against her, “and desperation.” It’s silent then. They were hormonal teenagers back then. Things that Sooyoung thought had a deeper mean truly didn’t. Jinsoul was just afraid Sooyoung would finally forget about her. In her attempt though she secured the fact that Sooyoung would never forget about her.  

“I thought you didn’t want my attention.” Sooyoung breathes out and Jinsoul says nothing. She just enjoys the blonde’s embrace. It was the same one she’d always do to keep Sooyoung grounded when she was feeling upset.

The blonde starts to mumble out onto her neck, “Every day I wanted to give into you. Sooyoung it was really hard.” Sooyoung blushes when Jinsoul nuzzles her nose into her. “I regret treating you that way so much but I had to pretend to not care about you.” Sooyoung tilts her head down, was Jinsoul going to tell her the truth? Why did she have to pretend? Who was she doing it for? 

“I was so angry and I took it out on you. That night I said all those things to you, I didn’t mean it. I wasn’t myself, I hated the person I had become.” Sooyoung listens carefully to make sure she didn’t miss a thing Jinsoul said. “I didn’t want to cut you off.”

She finally replies, “then why Jinsoul? Why did you do it?” 

“I can’t tell you.” Sooyoung shakes her head and sighs. This was starting to piss her off. Why was Jinsoul keeping it from her? “Just know that I could never hate you and I care about you so much.”  

“You’re so confusing I hate this.” Jinsoul laughs against her neck like it was all just some old story. 

The blonde kisses the skin below her ear and Sooyoung shudders. She hates how easy affection comes to Jinsoul. “I know I’m sorry but please don’t push me away Sooyoung. I’m begging you.” Of course, she feels herself caving in. The feeling she had last night in Jinsoul’s jeep was fading away. Hyunjin was right maybe Jinsoul just needed time.

“I’m sleeping with my Granma.” It’s not a yes or no. Sooyoung just needs time to figure it out. She needed to find this closure with or without Jinsoul.

“Until you tell me why I can’t fully forgive you and be your best friend again Jinsoul I’m sorry.” The blonde nods and tells her she understands. But also warns Sooyoung that she’s not going to give up this easily. Sooyoung raises up as the blonde tells her she’s never leaving her alone again. Sooyoung takes it as a challenge. She wonders if Jinsoul can win her back over without the truth. Or she wonders if she’ll end up actually getting it.

Crawling out of the bed she pushes Jinsoul harshly. Primarily for the attack. The blonde only smiles and lays back down in her bed. Sooyoung guesses she really was staying the night. Stepping downstairs she smiles when she sees her Granma watching TV on the futon and waddles up to it. “Can I sleep with you?” The older woman tears her eyes from the screen.

“Of course baby come on.” Sooyoung lays down next to her Granma but only a few seconds in she’s pushed off the mattress and onto the floor. “Wait a min’ you stank! Go back to your room or take a shower!” Sooyoung pouts and stands up. Her Granma smiles, “love you Soo.” She doesn’t feel like taking a shower so she waddles back up to her room and walks in. Jinsoul is hugging her pillow tightly with her face buried in it.

Narrowing her eyes she questions the blonde, “what the are you doing.” She yelps and throws it back down. Sooyoung is a tad bit weirded out and goes to her sister’s bed. She doubts she’ll be back tonight.   

Sooyoung knows it’s going to be a long night with the way Jinsoul was staring at her. She was going to have to get used to this.  

Ignoring the blonde that is…even if it was the last thing she wanted to do.

…

“Sooyoung come on we’re going shopping.” Chaewon was standing in front of her. Sooyoung was fine sitting here in her bed like she has been for the past week. “It’s your birthday next week and you’re turning twenty-one we gotta get you a cute fit at least!” Sooyoung wouldn’t consider herself depressed but she’s only gotten out of bed for work and practice. She and Jinsoul…were okay at practice but not as good as they were at the games. 

Thank god their first game wasn’t until June. But for the time being Jinsoul had only bothered her by text and phone call. Jinsoul was terrible at texting always sending Sooyoung U up? At three in the morning. Sooyoung would stare at the text and delete it. She wanted to forgive Jinsoul. But who was Jinsoul exactly? She was having a hard time coming in terms that the same Jinsoul that had kissed her boo boo’s away when she was seven was the same one that told her she wouldn’t care if she died. 

Sooyoung only had two questions for the blonde. Why did you do it? Why did you change your mind? Simple right? But it wasn’t so simple and Sooyoung would stay up all night thinking of the reasons why Jinsoul figured she’d just switch it up and turn into Sooyoung’s worst nightmare. Was it because Sooyoung was ugly? Annoying? Gay? When Sooyoung came out to Jinsoul the girl happily congratulated her. What if she didn’t know what it meant at the time and when she learned she was grossed out.

What if Jinsoul knew she was in love with her and freaked out? 

“Helloooo stop being a sad loser and put this on.” Chaewon blurts out and throws out a cute red summer dress with a sun hat. Sooyoung figures she should get out. Stripping in front of her blonde friend the girl squeals out, “Ewww your s are so weird!” Sooyoung rolls her eyes. Chaewon has probably seen her a hundred times and she had the same reaction every time. Sooyoung had uneven s so what? They were still y.

Sooyoung doesn’t even bother putting on underwear because she didn’t really care. They would probably just go to a few stores and eat. The dress was long enough to cover everything too. Throwing on the sun hat she twirls around. Chaewon hops up and down cheering her on. The blonde then darts out of her room. Sooyoung adjusts the straps on her shoulder and waves goodbye to her sister who was staring at the ceiling for no reason.

Walking out to the car…or Kirby she sighs at how hot it was. Even in the short sundress, she was going to fry. Sooyoung freezes when she sees who’s waiting in the back it’s Jinsoul is fiddling with her fingers. The girl looked hot since she was wearing all black, even a long sleeve shirt. Suddenly she wasn’t feeling too excited about going shopping. She still gets into the back seat not even noticing the new face in the front. “Sooyoung this is YooA say hi to her please.” The girl turns around and waves at her. Sooyoung raises her brows, this girl was hot. 

Jinsoul is staring holes through her when she reaches for the girl’s hand dangling. Instead of shaking it she brings it up to her lips kissing the skin there gently. “Please, you meet you YooA.” The girl with bangs laughs and both of the blondes beside them groan. Sooyoung doesn’t know why Jinsoul does. 

Chaewon rolls her eyes, “really Sooyoung?” The blonde gives her a look that says please do not this one. Because the last time that happened the girl wrote about Sooyoung and the fact that she is a player in magic marker on the side of Kirby. Sooyoung had to wash Kirby for a month. But Chaewon had nothing to worry about because the way Jinsoul scoots all the way over and throws her arm on the seat behind her tells Sooyoung that she and YooA will not be getting to know each other today. 

Taking her sun hat off she starts to feel self-conscious about her appearance. Not because Jinsoul who was looking her up and down. But the hottie in the front not paying attention to her. At least that’s what she tells herself. The blonde leans in close and whispers into her ear, “you look pretty.” Sooyoung blushes and turns away. Jinsoul tries to get close again but Sooyoung pushes her back. 

“Stop!” Jinsoul yells as Sooyoung keeps pushing her around.

Sooyoung laughs when the car starts to zoom off and Jinsoul is thrown to the other side since she didn’t have her seatbelt on. It’s funny seeing the blonde trying to get back up but Chaewon’s driving is way too crazy. Sooyoung is laughing so hard she starts crying as the blonde fumbles side to side and finally up in the air when Chaewon slams on the breaks. “What the are you doing Jinsoul!” The driver yells and they’re stopped in the middle of the road so there are vehicles honking at them.

Jinsoul puffs up and scoots back next to her and puts her seatbelt on. Sooyoung thinks it’s cute with how mad Jinsoul is at her sister. The car zooms off without warning and Sooyoung smiles as Jinsoul slumps over. The blonde turns to her and when she catches her smile she smiles as well. Sooyoung drops hers and turns her head to watch the pedestrians.  

The blonde tries to bother her by poking on her shoulder but Sooyoung ignores it. By the time they get to the first store she’s about to strangle Jinsoul with how much she’s annoyed her on the trip. Quickly she gets out of Kirby and opens the door for YooA. The girl smiles at Sooyoung and thanks her by placing her hand on her arm. She’s about to start walking with her until she’s pulled back by Jinsoul.

Sooyoung flares her nostrils as Jinsoul grabs her face pulling towards her own. “Hmm, your face is healing up nicely.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and pushes the hands off of her and leaves the blonde behind as she catches up to Chaewon and YooA. 

Putting on her player persona she throws an arm around the shorter girl with pigtails, “so YooA I couldn’t help but notice how fine you are.” Chaewon is giving her a death glare as her friend is blushing at the advances. 

The girl places a hand on her tummy and looks up into her eyes, “how’d you get those bruises.” 

Sooyoung rubs her thumb along her bottom lip. Jinsoul always said it made her look cool so she would do it in front of girls. It would always make them pay attention to her lips and Sooyoung knew she had nice ones. Her ego flares up when YooA won’t stop staring at them. “Oh, I was protecting this kid from some punks. It’s hard one against five.”

“Ha don’t let this LOSER tell you wrong. She got her kicked because she’s a sore LOSER.” Chaewon yells out and YooA looks away slowly removing herself from Sooyoung. Staring at her blonde friend Sooyoung starts to plot her assassination.

Jinsoul pops up behind them, “actually she was sticking up for me! Sooyoung totally won the fight!” YooA seems impressed and cuddles back into her as they’re walking. It’s ruined by another blonde this time. Sooyoung is shaking as Jinsoul pushes in between them breaking them apart. Jinsoul gives YooA a warning look, “we’re best friends.” Sooyoung glares at the finger gesturing between them and continues to walk on the pavement.

YooA only forces to smile and turns back to Chaewon. “Your sister and her friend are weird.” Chaewon ignores it. Why did she invite them again? They’re only arguing while she and YooA were having a good time. Jinsoul had begged to invite Sooyoung and out of the goodness of her heart she did and now she regrets it. She’s so embarrassed really because the two are in front of them bickering about god who knows what.

Entering into the store Sooyoung mumbles out, “I’m not holding your hand Humpty Dumpty it’s sweaty and we’re adults.” Sooyoung gave her condolences to Jinsoul for all those years. Jinsoul wasn’t half as annoying as she was and Sooyoung was ready to 619 Jinsoul into the glass display. She wonders how Jinsoul was able to handle her. 

The department store owner greets them as they walk in and instantly Sooyoung tries to go off on her own but Jinsoul is hot on her trail. “Stop following me!” Jinsoul doesn’t listen to her. Sooyoung turns around and Jinsoul gasps when they’re face to face. The blonde smiles though and holds something up. It’s cheetah print two piece. “No? That’s ugly.” 

Frowning Jinsoul holds it up to herself, “no it’s for me.” Sooyoung wants to laugh. So she does right in the blonde’s face but stops when she realizes Jinsoul’s serious. They continue shopping, Sooyoung trying to make Jinsoul put down all the hideous items she’s picked up. Sooyoung’s mostly picked up club dresses. They’re in the middle of arguing about yellow zebra pants when Jinsoul gasps and runs over to a manikin. 

Sooyoung actually really likes the outfit. A pink slip on dress, it’s silk with white gloves and go-go boots. Huffing when Jinsoul dumps all her clothes on her she watches as the blonde runs around the area getting the items identical to the manikin’s.

“Let’s go try these on!” Sooyoung rolls her eyes as she follows the blonde. She spots Chaewon and YooA talking to some guy working at the store. The blonde was probably trying to get a discount. Jinsoul grabs all her clothes first and wobbles behind the door. Five seconds later Jinsoul peaks out and gives her a questioning look, “are you coming?” 

Sooyoung blushes. Jinsoul…wanted her to come in the dressing room? She doesn’t really get the option when she’s dragged in and Jinsoul locks the door behind them. Watching the blonde bounce around the area Sooyoung goes to nervously hang her items up. Sooyoung doesn’t know what’s got her more worried. The fact that Jinsoul might change in front of her or the fact that she has no underwear on. Turning around she lets her jaw drop at Jinsoul already pulling her clothes off.  

It's not any different from her bikini she wears playing games but for some reason, Sooyoung starts to sweat. The site of Jinsoul’s in cute…Cinco de Mayo ? Why was Jinsoul wearing those? Snorting she buries the urge to pinch the little bit of cheek hanging out of them. “I like your .”

Jinsoul hums and turns around to look at them, “thanks it’s my favorite sauce!” Sooyoung raises her brows in question. “You know spicy mayo?” 

Sooyoung frowns and explains to her.“It’s like a holiday. It means the fifth of May in Spanish.” The blonde stares at her and then opens in confusion.  

Sooyoung can tell she’s trying to figure it out, “Spanish? What’s that?” When Jinsoul asks that Sooyoung can feel herself losing her own brain cells.

“The language Jinsoul.” 

“Oh, I was just kidding jeez I’m not that dumb!” The blonde snorts and laughs before widening her eyes. The laughter stops and the blonde continues to change. First, it’s a pantsuit. Sooyoung thought it looked too good on Jinsoul. She made up a quick fantasy in her head that Jinsoul was the CEO of some company who was lesbian and killed her husband because she was a lesbian who hated men. She was the personal assistant to said CEO Jung and imagined what it would be like if Jinsoul bent her over a de-

“Can you help me with this?” Sooyoung is shaken from her daze and realizes that Jinsoul was in a completely different outfit. How long had she been spacing out? Standing up she reaches for the zipper of the skirt Jinsoul was trying to put on. It was stuck in the middle not going down or up. As she tries to wiggle it up Jinsoul is moving all over the place. 

Sooyoung lays her hand on the small of Jinsoul’s back and pushes her down. “ in.” The blonde does but the zipper still doesn’t budge. Jinsoul is making small little grunts as Sooyoung pulls it up. The blonde props herself on the mirror with both hands bending over a little more to in. Sooyoung is starting to get frustrated at the zipper and jerks it making Jinsoul whine when it pinches her back, “ I can’t get it to...”

Jinsoul sighs, “it’s so tight.” Sooyoung nods and breaks out into a sweat trying to get the zipper loose. “Do it a little harder.”

Sooyoung shakes her head, “it might hurt!” 

“Um is everything okay in there?” They both freeze at the voice outside. 

“Yeah, just the zipper is stuck!” The worker mumbles out something and Sooyoung watches the feet walk off. Sighing out in relief she turns back to the blonde and scolds her, “if your wasn’t so-.”

“Don’t say it.”

“If your wasn’t so fat then maybe you could fit in it.” Jinsoul frowns at her and then suddenly the anger appears and Sooyoung is being wacked by a clothes hanger. She’s guarding herself in the corner as Jinsoul goes to town on her. 

“I’ve been on a diet!” Sooyoung snaps out of it and grabs onto the hanger. 

Throwing the hanger down she turns Jinsoul around and points the topic of discussion, “es pay for this Jinsoul.” The blonde looks at her in the tight skirt. “It’s a compliment.” Jinsoul nods shyly and struggles to it so Sooyoung does it for her. Jinsoul didn’t know how good she really looked. Sooyoung would like to show her, but they would be crossing the lines of friendship and Sooyoung reminded herself they weren’t even supposed to be friends right now.

Jinsoul thanks her for the compliment and the help as she starts to put her clothes back on. Sooyoung just watches her with soft eyes. Her resolve was slowly slipping away again around the blonde. “Why don’t you try on the pink dress?” Sooyoung quirks a brow.

“Hmm, I’d rather not.” Jinsoul smiles.

Sooyoung crosses her arms as Jinsoul steps forward and pokes at her tummy, “come on for me?” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and turns Jinsoul around telling her to not look or she’d be murdered. Sooyoung doesn’t pay attention as she slips off the sundress. She notices the yellowish bruise on her stomach where Doyeon hit her and frowns at the memory of that night

“hehe woah…” It's deep. Jinsoul's voice.

Looking up from the floor she feels the blood rushing to her face as Jinsoul is sitting on the small bench on the side openly staring at her body with a smug smile. “Why do you shave it like that?” Jinsoul closes her eyes when she’s smacked on the head. Sooyoung is panting at the girl now covering her face apologizing for peeping. A lot of people had seen her before even Jinsoul but that was when they were younger and Sooyoung didn’t have ual fantasies about her. The fact Jinsoul seemed to be really interested in her landing strip was making her tummy turn to knots.

“Sooyoung?” The girl mumbles out. Sooyoung only hums as she slips on the dress.

The girl giggles before she says it, “you’re really y.” Sooyoung pulls the dress all the way up and thanks the girl. It doesn’t click in her mind what was actually said but when she does she almost faints. Did Jinsoul just call her y? Sooyoung is really red now and embarrassed at how it made her ego boost ten times and well…how it made her a little you know. “No wonder girls like you so much.”

The compliment is making her hot. Sooyoung just wishes there was this one girl that liked her in that way. “Um…shut up?”  

Jinsoul opens her eyes and squeals at Sooyoung in the dress. The blonde hops up and turns them towards the mirror. “See look how hot you are!” Jinsoul is hugging her from behind with a smile on her face. Sooyoung did look good in the dress but she knew she was starting to lose her grip by the way her heart was beating from Jinsoul’s touch.

“Jinsoul will you please stop?” Sooyoung pushes the girl off of her and turns to face her.

The blonde doesn’t get it. Sooyoung couldn’t stand it. How such a simple compliment was making her feel this way? She was supposed to be mad at Jinsoul. “Why? This is what friends do we hype each other up.” 

Sooyoung tilts her head, “friends?” Jinsoul’s bright smile that was making her eyes crinkle up quickly falls into the saddest frown Sooyoung has ever seen.

Jinsoul throws her head back, “seriously Sooyoung we’re still doing this?” 

“Yes, Jinsoul you hurt me.”

The blonde shakes her head and Sooyoung can see the tears forming. Jinsoul was so quick to cry. “I know I did and I’m trying to make up for it. I want to show you that I’m not that girl.” Sooyoung believes her but she won’t tell Jinsoul that. 

“I’m not that girl who hurt you. Please just let me show you that okay?” Sooyoung watches as her hand is taking hostage of and brought up to Jinsoul’s lips. Her heart races at the site. Jinsoul was trying really hard. It was amazing really how charming the girl was. Way more charming then Sooyoung was. Jinsoul had a way with words. Sooyoung was just thoughtful and listened closely. Jinsoul could easily persuade anyone. 

Sooyoung sighs out at the puppy dog eyes, “then who are you?” 

“The girl that loves you of course.” It’s such a cheesy line but it makes her heart skip nonetheless. 

It makes her break, but only a little bit. “I love you so much Sooyoung.” Shaking her head she retrieves her hand back. Jinsoul knows she still hasn’t won the girl over with the look she receives through the mirror when Sooyoung turns around. Jinsoul sighs as Sooyoung gestures for her to close her eyes. Sooyoung slowly slips the dress back off to put her other one back on. 

Slowly backing up she leans back onto Jinsoul and breathes out. The girl is still turned around but Sooyoung watches her head lift up in the mirror. Smiling she grabs the blonde’s hand in her own.

“I love you too .”

…

Jinsoul had bought her the dress, well the whole outfit really. And a pink cowboy hat to go with it but Jinsoul told her she didn’t have to wear it. Sooyoung wasn’t going to but that didn’t mean Jinsoul wasn’t going to not wear it. So here they were all huddling into a booth at a bbq place. Jinsoul with the pink cowboy hat on sitting next to Chaewon while YooA was sitting next to Sooyoung.

Sooyoung had continued to flirt with the girl and every time she did she didn’t notice the glare she would receive from Jinsoul. At one point when YooA was rubbing on her thigh and whispering in her ear, Jinsoul had squeezed her Styrofoam cup so much it busted. The three of them looked at the seething blonde with worried expressions. They don’t know what had made her so angry.  

If looks could kill YooA would be dead right now. Sooyoung was paying attention to Jinsoul and so was YooA. Chaewon was looking between all three of them while she crunched on a dill pickle. The younger blonde is confused by her sister’s action. After the waiter cleans up Jinsoul’s mess they all stand up to leave. Jinsoul briskly walks ahead as the other three stays behind, YooA and Sooyoung clinging onto each other.  

Sooyoung smirks when she leans in to whisper into the girl’s ear, “I’m not wearing any underwear.” YooA blushes and Sooyoung is met with dark eyes. They’re not as dark as Jinsoul’s though and Sooyoung can’t seem to find herself getting lost in them.

Jinsoul is standing on the outside of the vehicle when they make it. YooA shyly looks up at Sooyoung before asking, “Can I sit in the back with you?” Sooyoung smiles ready to open the door for the girl. Jinsoul is shaking in front of them though fist clenched in anger. Sooyoung thinks the blonde is about to do something to YooA. Before she pulls YooA away there’s a loud scream in the distance. Someone screaming her name. 

Turning around she feels her soul leave her body. It’s Sori and her coke slinging boyfriend. He’s got a gun. A big one…“Get the down!” Sooyoung manages to yell and everyone hits the ground. Bullets fly all over the place. Mostly the car until Miguel runs out of his clip. Crawling to safety she makes sure everyone is behind the car. Jinsoul is on her right and YooA is on her left. 

Bullets start impaling Kirby again and Sooyoung goes to cover Jinsoul’s ears. Completely forgetting about the girl beside her. Sooyoung waits for the shooting to stop again before bringing her hands off Jinsoul’s head. “SOOYOUNG COME OUT YOU LITTLE PARASITE!” She has never been so scared in her life. Was she actually going to die before she got to tell Jinsoul how she truly feels? 

“Jinsoul I want you to know that-.” The bullets start going again and the sharp twangs make her squeal out. 

YooA is having a full blown panic attack and there’s a bunch of honking around. Jinsoul clings onto for life, “Sooyoung I’m so sorry the reason I said those things was because-.” Jinsoul was about to tell Sooyoung the truth but Miguel starts screaming again. 

“YOU THINK YOU CAN TRY AND SEDUCE MY GIRL AND STEAL MY WEED NO PENDEJO MI NOVIA ES LEAL!” Sooyoung would piss her pants right now in laughter if she wasn’t already pissing them because she was literally about to die. Sooyoung figures she should sacrifice her life to save Jinsoul’s and the hotties life. Oh and Chaewon’s…Sooyoung freezes. Where was Chaewon? 

Sooyoung then notices the trunk was open. “YOU STUPID SOOYOUNG’S BEEN ING YOUR GIRL AND SHE’S BEEN GIVING HER FREE WEED THIS WHOLE TIME!” Chaewon screams out. Jumping up Sooyoung peaks over Kirby and gasps when the tiny girl is holding an oversized hello kitty machine gun. Was that even legal? Miguel panics and pushes Sori to the ground as Chaewon starts to spray bullets. 

It hits the pavement and stops as the two idiots run away. Chaewon starts to shoot Miguel’s custom El Camino, particularly at the gas tank. Sooyoung jumps in the air when the car explodes making the whole area fifteen times hotter. Sooyoung watches the flames fly up and the pretty glow light up the whole area, “Oh …” She smiles and goes to push Chaewon around for saving her . “Chaehuahua where the did you get that?” The blonde gives her a serious look before putting it back in the trunk. 

Sooyoung lets drop at the artillery in the back of Chaewon’s car. Hello kitty, animal crossing and Kirby customized guns. “Why do you think I’m at the pawn shop all the time?” Sooyoung shakes her head and jumps when there’s another explosion behind her. When the sirens start wailing in the distance she quickly hops in the back and so does Jinsoul. 

YooA is standing there shaking, “you es are ing insane…no way I’m getting in that death trap.” 

Chaewon shrugs, “fine, be a loser.” YooA is not giving a second before Chaewon burns rubber, well what’s left of it. They were going to have to get rid of Kirby but it wasn’t like Chaewon could get a new one. Sooyoung lifts hands in the air and screams. That was probably the best fun she’s ever had in her life. Her fun is ruined though when Jinsoul jabs her in the stomach.

Rubbing at the injury she gives the girl who’s holding onto the cowboy hat a questionable look, “what was that for?”

“For not keeping it your pants, Seriously Sooyoung? We were just in a shootout because you like to play!” Shrugging she ignores the blonde. Who was she to care about Sooyoung’s life? 

The blonde groans, “you can’t be giving it to people like that your body is a temple. Don’t let some weed groupie ruin it.”

Jinsoul was a bit too worried about Sori and not the fact they were just shot up, “and YooA you don’t even know her and you were all hugged up to her like that!” Yeah, Jinsoul was more worried about Sooyoung’s es she sounded-

“You sound so jealous right now!” Sooyoung yells out, the wind is blowing through her hair as she smiles at Jinsoul. She’s said those words to the girl before. She remembers how satisfying the reaction was last time.

“Seriously Sooyoung?” Jinsoul loved to say that nowadays. It was her favorite thing to say besides please leave me alone. But right now Jinsoul had dragged her into an empty classroom after volleyball practice. Rumor had gotten out. Sooyoung had slept with Kim Doyeon and Im Jin-ah in a span of a week. At first, the rumors were that Sooyoung begged for Doyeon to take her ity. Now it was that Nana was better in bed.

Jinsoul is pacing back and forth in the classroom. “Your first time is supposed to be with someone special. It’s supposed to be kept a secret between you and the one you love. You’re just letting these two girl’s get to you.” Sooyoung has been too preoccupied with learning the wonders of to realize that Jinsoul has a new lip gloss. Sooyoung recalls this is the first time she’s talked to Jinsoul in three weeks. A new record. 

Sooyoung could care less though. It was just and Jinsoul was acting like one of those weirdos that thought your first time was a critical moment in life. Sooyoung expected her to be the last person to care about these things. “I can’t believe you chose her to be your first. Really Kim Doyeon? She’s just some rich snob who doesn’t care about people.” Jinsoul mutters out.

Sooyoung sighs, “like you?”

Jinsoul gives her a look, “you’re rich, definitely a snob and you have not gave a about nobody but yourself for the past five years.” She couldn’t believe Jinsoul was coming for her like this. Jinsoul never talked to her anymore. This was the first time Jinsoul’s initiated a conversation in years. But suddenly when Sooyoung starts sleeping with hot girls Jinsoul’s dying to speak with her. 

In a way, Sooyoung was loving it. She loved this attention Jinsoul was giving her. Maybe she would keep ing girls just so that the blonde would come and tell her it’s wrong. Jinsoul was talking to her then at least. “Are you jealous or something?” It’s a joke because Sooyoung knows in a million years Jinsoul wouldn’t be jealous of someone being with her. “Why do you care Jinsoul?” Why did she care now? Out of all the times Sooyoung’s begged for her attention the one time she doesn’t try Jinsoul is zoned in on her. Sooyoung hasn’t seen Jinsoul this angry since the time after she stitched her up on her fancy sink counter.

“You sound so jealous right now.” Sooyoung stands up from where she was leaning on a desk but Jinsoul pushes her back down. She looks at the seventeen-year-old with confusion.

Jinsoul steps closer to her and grabs her by the collar of the shirt. They wore school uniforms then. Jinsoul’s was always messy. The tie would be loosely made and her shirt would be untucked from her skirt. Sooyoung, however, had no wrinkles in her skirt and her shirt was buttoned all the way up. “What if I was?” 

Sooyoung has never felt something like this before. “What if I was jealous Sooyoung?” The girl shudders at the dark tone. The words were rasped out. Jinsoul was still sweaty from practice. Her black hair up in a high ponytail. Sooyoung stands up again and faces Jinsoul. The girl was almost the same height as her now. Sooyoung only had an inch on her. 

She’s too busy staring at Jinsoul’s lips to notice how dark the girl’s eyes are. Her pupils are blown since she’s doing to the same thing, staring at Sooyoung’s lips. Their breath is mixed. Even when Sooyoung came just a few nights ago under Nana’s touch she’s never felt this on fire just from being this close to Jinsoul. Her tummy was twisting in knots and she had this deep pressure inside. 

Sooyoung knew she was in love with Jinsoul. But this was the first time she’s ever felt…was it desire? She wasn’t for sure what it was. But she was eager to find out. “Then do something about it.” It doesn’t take Jinsoul but five seconds to slam her lips onto her and instantly Jinsoul clings onto her. It’s a kiss full of anger and frustration. Neither allowing the other to take control.

She slides her lips against Jinsoul’s fluidly and the girl moans against . Reaching down she sneaks her hand underneath Jinsoul’s skirt and grabs the bare flesh there. Jinsoul breaks the kiss to whine directly onto her lips but Sooyoung pulls her back in by her neck. Jinsoul starts to push her back with her hair tangled through her hair and ends up banging Sooyoung against the glass cabinet.

The room is silent besides the heavy breathing and clanging of glass behind Sooyoung. Their lips are smacking together and Sooyoung can already feel hers swelling up from the rough treatment. She groans when Jinsoul bites down on her bottom lip and deepens the kiss making it slower than the previous quick and rough ones.

Now it was almost sensual with the way Jinsoul was on her lips asking permission. When their tongues meet they both moan out. Sooyoung can’t help but pull Jinsoul closer by the . The girl’s nails were scratching at her scalp. Since they’re inexperienced the kiss is sloppy but neither of them mind. It’s all Sooyoung has ever wanted. Jinsoul’s tongue was so hot in . The girl was so curious with the way she was exploring it.

The kiss starts to slow down again and becomes softer. All the anger and frustration is gone. No tongue no sensual lip locking just tiny pecks against her lips. They were sore with how rough Jinsoul was with her. The girl had bit and on them for a while. They must have been kissing for at least fifteen minutes. When Sooyoung opens her eyes and looks at the clock she discovers it’s been seventeen.

Jinsoul is still kissing her. Her hands were now cupping her face and a thumb was rubbing across her cheek back and forth. Sooyoung whimpers when Jinsoul nibbles on her bottom lip and finally pulls away. They’ve kissed before but not like this. Back then it was for fun, just some child’s game. But this was so real and raw.   

The girl’s pupils are so blown and her lip gloss is smudged. Sooyoung bites her cheek at the blush on Jinsoul’s face. She closes her eyes again when Jinsoul leans in but soft lips don’t meet hers again. Instead, she deeply moans when Jinsoul starts to on her neck. The girl bites down hard to pull another raspy moan from her and pretty hands lift her shirt to scratch at the skin there. Sooyoung is squirming at her touch and all the sudden it stops. Jinsoul pulls away finally realizing what they’re doing. The girl shakes her head and backs away more when Sooyoung tries to reach out to her.

“That…didn't happen,” Jinsoul tells her. Sooyoung watches the girl run off.

She has no idea what just happened, but it was the best thing ever. Sooyoung smiles thinking that things might turn around at that. But she was wrong again about Jinsoul.

She was always wrong when it came to Jinsoul. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Hmm things are unfolding now don’t you think? Yves acted the way she did last chapter because she felt a little stupid for forgiving Jinsoul so easily when she didn’t even get an explanation. She also doesn’t know if Jinsoul is telling the truth or not! But really Jinsoul just be hiding stuff.