She had ed up her eyeliner...again. Sooyoung stares at her reflection, not satisfied with the results at all. Although she could blame it on the fact that she was a bit tipsy or was just bad at doing makeup. She wanted to blame it on Jinsoul’s hands creeping up under her shirt.

Yes, Sooyoung was sitting on her lap as she was doing her makeup but it was chill she was closer to the mirror like this. Jinsoul’s lap was comfortable, her body was warm and her hands were really soft. So yeah, Sooyoung was relaxed right now, but the fact she couldn’t draw a straight line was doing everything but calming her down.

Puffing up she smudges the line with the bottom of her palm. Jinsoul whines as she does so, starting to get tired of Sooyoung’s need for perfection. Sooyoung leans back into the girl’s embrace and Jinsoul holds her closer, pressing her cheek up against Sooyoung’s arm.

God she’s such a baby.

Sooyoung was happy, very happy at this moment. She had only a t-shirt on...Jinsoul’s t-shirt that smelled strongly of coconuts. Putting down the eyeliner she lays her hands over Jinsoul’s and pulls them out of the shirt.

“Nooo it’s warm under there!” Sooyoung closes her eyes since her smiles takes up her whole face. She doesn’t fight it when Jinsoul’s hands sneak back up and rest of her waist rubbing around at her tummy. It felt too good for her to push away. So she just lets the swirling pools of giddiness consume her.

Opening her eyes to look at Jinsoul’s reflection in the mirror her heart does a backflip. Jinsoul’s face was squished against her. The blonde’s eyes soft and focused right on her. Jinsoul rocks them back and forth in the chair and Sooyoung relaxes fully in her embrace.

Sooyoung took everything with a sense of gratitude now, since years ago Jinsoul would have given her 1% of the attention. Now she was getting all the attention in the world and loving it.

She doesn’t understand what switched between them. But she wasn’t going to question it. What made Jinsoul change her mind, why she was so loving again, well she was even more loving now than when they were just kids.

Sooyoung had asked plenty of times. What exactly happened all those years ago but Jinsoul would shake her head. Does it even matter? When we’re together now? It did, to because it was her heart break. But she was willing to be patient with the girl.

She didn’t want to ruin the thing they had right now. Sooyoung was getting addicted to Jinsoul’s sweetness for the tenth time in her life. It was just so hard not to get attached and crave Jinsoul’s love. The blonde was so good at giving it, Sooyoung would die if someone knew she liked being babied because it would ruin her chic reputation at school, but she’d also die if Jinsoul were to stop doing it.

Jinsoul was always affectionate but now Sooyoung was being touched...very intimately and they had done very intimate things. It gave Sooyoung a feeling she’s never had before, something no one has ever given.

Tonight she has an idea. How to get more of what she experienced almost 2 weeks ago. At practice she couldn’t focus, Jinsoul’s smile reminded her how good her lips felt on hers. Sooyoung almost blew a game because she couldn’t take her eyes off Jinsoul.

She couldn’t even talk to other girls even though they were all up on her. It was all Jinsoul...Sooyoung had never been this bad after her.

Sooyoung was determined to make Jinsoul hers and not let her go. The blonde however, stopped kissing her and refused to give into her desires. Sooyoung had tried some but they had all failed. She still got her cuddles and such, because Jinsoul wanted those just as bad as her.

Tonight they were going out. Clubbing with a friend of Jinsoul’s named Jungwoo. Their friends Bang and Jinyoung were really suspicious so they lowkey had cut ties with them. Jungwoo was sweet and a bit empty headed and he invited them out to go clubbing.

Her plan was to seduce Jinsoul, of course after she shows the blonde some fun. Sooyoung knows Jinsoul couldn’t hold back that long and if she was going off the previous club experience she had lots of hope. Jinsoul was very eager to kiss her last time in the club and Sooyoung can remember the desperation and how much it turned her on.

Sooyoung had attempted before, like after practice she grabbed at Jinsoul’s thighs as she leaned over kissing over the girl’s jawline. The blonde allowed it for a little bit but as soon as she swerved off the rode Sooyoung was smacked off.

All of her attempts to initiate something fell short like this. Her squeezing on whatever part of Jinsoul she could find and ghosting her lips over the blonde’s sensitive spots such as her ears and neck. Jinsoul would visibly get worked up but end up fighting it. Sooyoung didn’t mind but she at least wanted a kiss.

Turning her head she’s met with Jinsoul’s eyes already on her, “you’re beautiful you don’t need any of that makeup.” If it was anyone else saying that to her she would slap them upside the head. But since it was Jinsoul she was shyly ducking into the crook of her neck.

She turns in Jinsoul’s lap and wraps her hands around the girl’s shoulders only covered in a sport bra. Sooyoung hates corny people but she loved when Jinsoul was. “Shut up…” Jinsoul’s finger tips tickled at her spin and she can almost fall asleep in the girl’s arms.

Even if she wanted to just retreat to the bed and fall asleep entangled in Jinsoul’s limbs, she had a mission and a fat blunt calling her name. “Let’s smoke,” Jinsoul pushes her off giving her a glare. “What?”

“I told you no more smoking! I’ll lose my voice and Luna gonna kick me out of choir!” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and slips out of Jinsoul’s lap, the ghost of her touch still burning on her tummy. Jinsoul said she wasn’t smoking anymore for the maintenance of her voice but Sooyoung didn’t care.

She wanted to smoke Jinsoul out.

“Luna this Luna that baby you got the voice of an angel you won’t lose it over a little blunt.” Jinsoul raises her brow at the word little because that was the opposite word to describe what was in Sooyoung’s hand. Ignoring the glare she bakes the blunt before putting it in here mouth.

Her comment must have convinced Jinsoul because the blonde was taking hit after hit. Sooyoung could hardly keep up.

Somehow the high allowed her to beat her face. She had no trouble doing her eyeliner now. Turning to Jinsoul when she’s done she asks, “would you ?” Jinsoul is off her rocker, literally since she was swaying back and forth in the seat.

“Say wha?” Sooyoung rolls her eyes and starts to mess with her hair, trying to ignore Jinsoul’s hand rubbing at the back of her thigh. She has to pinch her legs together because Jinsoul tries to shoot her hand between them and Sooyoung kinda wanted to go to the club before she seduced Jinsoul, but it was starting to get hard…”oh yeah...yeah I would...maybe like a lot or whatever.”

Jinsoul starts to giggle then and she gets a little more handsy and Sooyoung gets the jello knees when one of them clench onto her cheek, “tee hee!” She slaps the hand away, although she wanted it there. More than she’d ever let Jinsoul go and points in her face.

“Stop giggling and you sound like a teletubby,” Jinsoul only cracks up harder and slaps on her own knee. Sooyoung shakes her head and goes back to curling her hair only to squeal when she feels a slight pain in her thigh. Jinsoul had bitten her for reasons unknown, “leave me ‘lone!”

It’s quiet for a moment, “Sooyoung say .”

“Why?”

She sits the curling iron down and rests her fists on her hips, “I like the way you say it, your lips pop.” Jinsoul emphasizes by popping her own lips.

Sooyoung shakes her head, “fine....” Jinsoul claps like an idiot and squeals. Begging her to say it again. Sooyoung only finishes getting ready ignoring the girl.

“You’re a little weird Jinsoul,” she whispers out and picks up the blunt again to take a hit.

Jinsoul only hugs her legs to her body, “you know you like it Sooyoung.”

You don’t know how much I like it Jinsoul.

“Hit this goofy,” Jinsoul makes some sort of baby noise as she takes the blunt out of Sooyoung’s hand. The older girl blushes because it’s too cute to handle.

Jinsoul on the blunt hard and it makes Sooyoung’s tummy tingle. Jinsoul hands back the blunt and even if it was y watching the girl take a hit, the tip of it was soggy, “nasty you got the tip wet!”

Sooyoung wipes it off with her fingers not as mad as she sounded and becomes interested in what Jinsoul says, “Sorry my mouth is hella numb so it’s just doing whatever in there.”

“What that mouth do?” Sooyoung gets a questionable look in response. The blonde could be confused or simply didn’t understand what Sooyoung was saying, “I’m asking if you’d give me head.”

Jinsoul opens then, the one that Sooyoung was imagining on her lips and inside her. But Jinsoul is clearly not having it, “Shut up! I told you we ain’t doing that gay anymore.”

“It ain’t gay if you keep the socks on.”

About to continue her rant that Sooyoung has heard before. ‘We’re best friends, we can’t be homos at the same time, it would create a rift in the universe’. Jinsoul stops to consider it, “wait...what?” Sooyoung wonders what the problem was. Could Jinsoul not be gay? Did she not want to be? Was she only testing the waters with her?

“Seriously! If we keep our socks on while you let me freak it I swear it won’t be on some homo on god ."Sooyoung doesn’t know how she keeps a straight face while saying it. It’s even harder when Jinsoul nods like she’s come to realization. There was nothing they could really do to make it less gay.

“For real?”

“Deadass.”

Jinsoul stares at her like she’s considering it for a moment. Sooyoung almost starts to shake, “you tripping gimme that ing swisha.” Sooyoung’s shoulders slump in defeat. She almost convinced Jinsoul then.

Trying to distract herself she gets on her instagram and posts a story of her and Jinsoul passing the blunt and captioning it, ayo we got the gassss. Sooyoung is still a little upset at her being turned down once again but instead of asking Jinsoul why they couldn’t do that anymore...even if Jinsoul had said they would, she would just accept it.

Sooyoung strips and tapes her s, she still had Jinyoung’s mesh shirt and Jinsoul said she looked fine in it so she was wearing it again. Jinsoul is throwing on some fishnet stockings as she pulls on her orange camo pants. She can barely tie her platform boots as Jinsoul slides on a tube top that barely covers her and ripped jeans that showed the fishnets under. The stocking came up all the way to her waist and Sooyoung was staring at the girl’s abs.

“Jungwoo at the door you ready?” Sooyoung smiles and heads over to Jinsoul who was looking way too fine. She situates her hand on the small of her back and nods.

She was more than ready…  

~~~~~~~~

“Yassss shots!” They all throwback shots of tequila, by all, Sooyoung means her, Jinsoul and Jungwoo. Also some guy named Doyoung who was with Jungwoo. Sooyoung was pretty sure they were bumping uglies by the way Jungwoo kept smiling at the taller boy.  

Jungwoo was really something, Sooyoung had been laughing the entire night at the boy’s weird remarks and his empty stares. Jinsoul was on the track of getting wasted and Sooyoung thought it was time to slow her down, “let’s go dance Jindori.” The blonde burped which only made Sooyoung smile a bit more.

They wobble out onto the dance floor where it was bumping to the oldies. Awkwardness ensues and they sway side to side in front of each other. Sooyoung feels a tad bit uncomfortable since the alcohol hasn’t hit her and Jinsoul seems in the same boat. She nods at Jinsoul and the blonde does the same giving her a small smile.

“Are you having fun!” 

“HUH?” Sooyoung cringes at Jinsoul yelling over the music. It was really hard to hear over the music but for some reason she couldn’t bring herself closer to Jinsoul. How she could on the girl’s thigh with no hesitation but now couldn’t dance a foot away from her was blowing her. Sooyoung shakes her head and keeps dancing.

Jungwoo was dancing too but he was really into it and dragging Doyoung all over the place. Watching the boy’s hair shake in the strobe lights she excuses herself to go back to the bar. Jinsoul lets her go with a sad stare but continues to dance, eventually joining Jungwoo and Doyoung. 

Sooyoung sighs and walks up to the bar, this night was not successful so far. Her nerves were getting the better of her and she was ruining the whole vibe. Any other girl she would have been able to get her into puddy in the matter of minutes. But with Jinsoul it was the opposite, she was the one feeling like puddy.

Tapping on the bar she tries to wave towards the bartender but it’s so crowded she can’t even get noticed. “Ridiculous right?” Sooyoung recognizes the voice and turns. drops a bit when she sees Kyungri smiling at her shyly. Pushing herself off the bar she turns toward the girl. “You look gorgeous tonight, I wouldn’t mind taking you home.”

Months ago it would have effected Sooyoung, but all she could think about Jinsoul still on the dancefloor. “How’s the girlfriend?” Kyungri visibly melts at the question and a frown drops her cheeks. Wrong question Sooyoung guesses.

 “She’s got a new ,” Kyungri messes with an empty glass.

 “Tough.” 

Sooyoung isn’t really interested in being a rebound again. “What’s up with you? Things alright with Blondie?”  

She looks out into the crowd but can’t spot blonde hair. “It’s going…” Kyungri understands the situation just by the look on Sooyoung’s face. She was stuck right now, wanting to move forward with Jinsoul but she didn’t know how.

It was like she needed this little push…just something to, “BIG FREEDIA!!!”

Sooyoung jumps at the loud voice on the mic, people start to scream and jump around. Standing on one of the bar stools she looks over the crowd and gasps at the person on the stage. Jinsoul was standing on stage with Jungwoo, they were next to Big Freedia…

“WHAT’S BIG FREEDIA DOING IN SOUTH CAREER?” She overheard someone scream.

Big Freedia is next to the dj and there’s a line of people on stage, “how y’all feeling tonight!” Everyone screams and heads toward the stage. Sooyoung doesn’t even say bye to Kyungri as she rushes towards Jinsoul who looked a little nervous.

“We ‘bout to shake some !” Sooyoung pushes her way to the front so she can scream for Jinsoul, whatever she about to do. Big Freedia makes her way over to Jinsoul and Jungwoo who were more towards the center, the spotlight right on their faces. Jinsoul was about to out and Jungwoo was smiling with his eyes wide. “What you know about new Orleans bounce baby?” 

The mic is shoved in Jinsoul’s face, “I um…I like trampolines and balls.” Sooyoung chokes out a laugh and Jinsoul finally finds her in the crowd. Sooyoung throws a thumbs up at her.

Big Freedia turns towards the dj and then back to Jinsoul, “you a lil slow?” Jinsoul smiles and nods, not fully understanding. Big Freedia smiles and shakes her head, “something up with this lil girl!” The dj makes a scratching sound as Jungwoo is met with the mic.

The blonde headed boy smiles and leans over, “no thoughts on the topic!” Big Freedia whips her head around towards the crowd. The Dj plays some air horns.

Big Freedia shakes her head, “GIRLS DOWN!” Suddenly there’s a bunch of ad libs and a building beat. Some of the other people on the stage bend down and start to shake their and Jinsoul and Jungwoo stand there with their hands behind their backs.

The woman on stage seems to get tired of the blondes and walks up to them, “SHAKE FO THE MONEY!” 

Sooyoung waves towards Jinsoul, the blonde looks at her with confusion. “You gotta shake ya !” Jinsoul nods her head and gets down. At first it’s off rhythm but the more the yelling and cheering that goes on Jinsoul gets better.

It’s a little too good.

Amazed that Jinsoul can actually throw Sooyoung lets her jaw drop. She can only hope she doesn’t start drooling. Sweet mother of pearl. Big Freedia notices too and quickly makes her way over to Jinsoul. The blonde is swaying her hips like crazy and popping her out as if her life depended on it. Sooyoung is trying to not pay attention to fact she’s getting as hell and instead cheers Jinsoul on, “THAT’S MY BESTFRIEND!!! I’M HER BESTFRIEND GO BESTIE!” 

Jungwoo is doing god knows what while Jinsoul is killing it on stage, dropping it low and holding her arms up. Sooyoung wanted to feel how that back dipped and that shook. But she would wait until the little contest was over. Jinsoul was eating it up, loving the attention she was getting from the crowd…especially Sooyoung. 

The twerk contest is finally over and the winner is of course Jinsoul. She had gotten free drinks for the night for the win and as she stepped down off the stage holding Jungwoo’s hand she walks up to Sooyoung, the sweat dripping down her body. “Sooyoung did you see me!” She nods, everyone had seen Jinsoul and they were all still staring at her and whistling.  

Suddenly she gets a little possessive, “of course I did, my eyes never left you.” Jinsoul’s smile drops at Sooyoung’s suggestive tone, somehow the already stuffy club gets more suffocating. Sooyoung knew that Jinsoul was hers and she wasn’t letting anyone else have her. The blonde squeaks and grabs onto her shoulders when she smacks her hard enough for nearby people to hear. 

The night that Sooyoung thought was going to go slow quickly picks up and an hour later with Big Freedia still bumping on stage. Sooyoung hadn’t let Jinsoul leave her side the whole night afraid someone would try to hit on her or snatch her up in a dance. Sooyoung clinged onto the girl but Jinsoul didn’t mind at all, if anything she enjoyed it. 

Now Sooyoung had a drink in one hand and another on Jinsoul’s hip as they danced together. Jinsoul was against her hips and the girl was bent over still swerving around driving Sooyoung nuts. Jinsoul raises up and throws her arms behind her and around Sooyoung’s neck. She’s incredibly drunk and Sooyoung is getting to that point too, they were pretty much ing on the dance floor. Jinsoul wiggles her hips side to side, rubbing her badonk right against Sooyoung, “you love this fat !?” 

“Yes indeed!” 

If Sooyoung wasn’t so under the influence she probably would have passed out, “you know you wanna smack it!” Jinsoul touches her toes and Sooyoung follows orders and slams her hand down on the blonde’s jean-clad cheeks.

Jungwoo is next to them doing almost the same thing with Doyoung except not as extreme, “you a little gay together?” Sooyoung mouths a yes and Jinsoul starts to have a crisis. Sooyoung’s hand was still on her squeezing hard. She remembers where she is and who could be in her watching them. Sooyoung groans when Jinsoul backs away from her and starts to dance.

Pouting up she finishes her drink, “what’s up baby why’d you move away!”

Jinsoul finds it difficult to resist Sooyoung’s pout and misses the way her hands held her, “I’m like hot!”

“Damn right you are!” She’s really sad but the paranoia gets to her. 

Till they leave the club they dance apart but still crave each other’s touch. Sooyoung was full of energy and was longing for Jinsoul, she wasn’t for sure she could seduce her. At this point she was about to start begging for the .

Sooyoung laughs at the image in her head, her on her hands and knees for Jinsoul. She really would do anything for the girl at this point. Her heart was aching and so was her coochie. She wanted Jinsoul more than ever physically and emotionally but the girl was playing. Sooyoung doesn’t know if it’s the liquid encouragement but she knew this feeling couldn’t be one sided.    

After some serious thinking it’s finally time to go, Sooyoung isn’t as drunk as before and she follows Jinsoul home with a straight walk. Her mind is running wild, she was feeling so needy right now. Swinging her hand forward she interlaces her fingers with Jinsoul’s. The blonde stumbles a bit but holds her hand tighter. 

I’m so in love with you…but I don’t know what to do.

Sooyoung had known this girl all her life and she wanted to know her for the rest of her life as well. Never had she imagined she would feel this much for one person, to love someone this much. When she was little and didn’t have developed feelings for Jinsoul yet she would scrunch her nose at her father’s words. 

You’ll find someone who will push and pull you like the moon does the ocean.

She didn’t understand back then but she did now. It was only fun with Jinsoul and she didn’t know what to do when she had brushed her off all those years ago. Sooyoung went stiff, she went cold and felt frozen.

Someday you’ll find your moon.

She was always fascinated with the ocean and Jinsoul was always enamored with the moon. Funny how they were each other’s opposite fascination. Sooyoung was flowing with joy now, it was something calm with no troubled waters. She didn’t want to just seduce Jinsoul anymore, she wanted to confess. 

Sooyoung realized there was nothing to do. Love rules you…not the other way around.

All you can is fight for it and hopes it works out in your favor. And if it does? 

Sooyoung would consider herself the luckiest girl in the world. Her best friend…the love of her life. She wanted to live old with this girl, she wanted have the house and come home to talk about your day kinda love, she wanted to have babies.  

If she had to though, she’d wait all her life for Jinsoul. That’s what she’s been doing anyways right?

Soon enough they’re home, after a cab ride and a staring contest in the backseat. Sooyoung knew exactly what she wanted, how she wished she knew what Jinsoul wanted. Sooyoung noticed that Jinsoul always did what others wanted her to do. Jinsoul took a leap of faith to dodge med school that her father wanted her to do. Sooyoung wonders if she was a leap of faith to Jinsoul.

She’s watching Jinsoul through the mirror, her hands twitching to touch the girl who’s taking her makeup off. Jinsoul smiles at her through the reflection, “hey cutie.” Sooyoung smiles back, it was so easy with Jinsoul sometimes, but other times Jinsoul made it so hard. 

“Hey beautiful,” Jinsoul shakes her head and whines. Sooyoung didn’t understand, how Jinsoul couldn’t see it or why she’d get embarrassed. Stepping behind the girl she wraps her arms around her waist, planting her palms flat against her body. Jinsoul takes a deep breath at Sooyoung’s warm hands and the older girl can feel the tremble against them. 

Sooyoung starts to leave hot kisses over Jinsoul’s exposed shoulder and neck, the blonde leaning back into her and covering her hands with her own. Sooyoung holds onto her tight, still maintaining eye contact through the mirror. Sooyoung doesn’t know which was stronger, the throbbing between her thighs or the beat of her heart. 

She’s never felt something like this . It was way more paralyzing. Like her body would shut down at any second and the only thing keeping her alive was Jinsoul’s touch. Plenty of people have showed her lust and greed for pleasure. Sooyoung has experience that a lot throughout the years with countless girls. But the only person that’s showed her desire was Jinsoul.

She’s never had her heart in it like this. 

“It’s still early…” Jinsoul smiles at her and leans her head next to hers.

Sooyoung nibbles on the edge of her jaw still staring into Jinsoul’s eyes, “I know, we won’t be so tired when we get up in the morning.” That wasn’t on her mind at all…sleep was the furthest thing from what she wanted right now.

Sliding her hands lower Jinsoul squirms underneath her touch. Sooyoung brings her lips to Jinsoul’s ear, dragging them against the skin on her jaw, “I wasn’t thinking about sleeping.” Sooyoung pushes the girl girl up against the counter, she can feel her heart pound up against Jinsoul’s back since she’s so close to her. She groans when Jinsoul pushes back, igniting the fire in her tummy that runs all the way down her legs.

She bites the inside her check to not grind up against the blonde. It takes everything in her to not move a muscle. Jinsoul gasps however and turns in her arms. Sooyoung pouts when she sees the slight irritation in Jinsoul’s eyes. 

“Stop being a and clean up!” Sooyoung shakes her head no and Jinsoul seems to fighting something. Was this really that irritating to Jinsoul? The blonde pushes her off further and throws her head back. Sooyoung tries to get closer but Jinsoul holds her off by pressing on her chest. Jinsoul starts to laugh when Sooyoung bounces on her feet, throwing a little temper tantrum because she wasn’t getting what she wanted. “God you’re so annoying.”

Jinsoul shakes her head at Sooyoung’s shocked expression and hops up on the bathroom counter. Sooyoung is barely touching Jinsoul now, afraid that she’s gone too far until Jinsoul is pulling her by the back of her neck towards her, “come her baby.” Sooyoung closes her eyes when Jinsoul kisses her softly, their lips make a small noise that has Sooyoung’s toes curling in her socks. “You make it so hard you know…” 

She doesn’t understand at all but she opens her eyes and figures it out. Jinsoul is looking right through her, “is that all you want from me? Is my body?”

Sooyoung quickly shakes her head, Jinsoul’s hands still cradling her jaw, “of course not, it’s just I haven’t had any in forever and you had me feeling some type of way when we was dancing an-“ She’s cut off by another kiss. It’s slow and heavy something that has Sooyoung losing her breath. She doesn’t open her eyes this time, “I…I can’t stop thinking about it Jinsoul.” 

“Don’t you think about it?”   

Jinsoul doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t answer the question. If Sooyoung were to open her eyes she would see how blown Jinsoul’s eyes were, how shallow her breath was coming out of her parted lips. The silence is making her think too much so she starts to drunkenly ramble, “You’re so special to me Jinsoul, I love everything about you and I can’t stop thinking about how much I want you.” Sooyoung swallows the anxiety down . She almost can’t do it as tears build in her eyes.

It feels like someone’s hand is wrapped around her airway, “I feel so lucky to even be able to talk to you, I was so scared that I would never be able to be with you.” Goosebumps rise on her neck as Jinsoul tickles the skin there with her fingertips, reminding her she was there and listening. “I’m not drunk…I want to make you feel good, I…want everything Jinsoul.” 

“You’re my world can I show you that?” 

Can I make love to you?

Sooyoung wanted to take care of Jinsoul in every way but she wanted to start it off by showing how much she loved her. She appreciated everything about Jinsoul, she was so thankful for her. She was in feelings tonight. Jinsoul had gasped at the question and Sooyoung squeezed her eyes shut. “Sooyoung, open your eyes.” She doesn’t and Jinsoul kisses her making her open them.

Jinsoul’s eyes are glossy and there’s tears running down her cheeks, “you mean it don’t you? You meant every word you just said?” Sooyoung nods, slow enough for Jinsoul to take it all in and not become overwhelmed.

It was a lot, for so many years Sooyoung’s had this buried. Of course something like this would change everything between them. They had been friends for almost seventeen years. Jinsoul is looking at her with so much adoration. Sooyoung has seen the same look before. It was something like love. 

“How long Sooyoung.” 

At first she doesn’t want to answer instead of saying since our first kiss. Since then I’ve wanted nothing more than to be by your side forever. But then you pushed me away, my nightmare became true. Now it feels alright, I think we’re going to be just fine. Sooyoung knows it must have been a strong attachment for her to hold on to Jinsoul after all these years. How she didn’t give up on Jinsoul despite the differences.

“I was going to tell you when we were fourteen.” Sooyoung doesn’t expect anything. But she doesn’t expect Jinsoul to break down into a sob. 

Sooyoung, unsure what to do, only holds Jinsoul close to her. The girl clings to her like a koala, her whole body trembling. “I’m sorry…I d-.”

“No,” Jinsoul chokes out. Sooyoung doesn’t know how long it takes but Jinsoul finally stops crying. Sooyoung isn’t for what she said that made Jinsoul so upset. She can only hopes the blonde feels the same way. 

She doesn’t worry too much about it when Jinsoul helps her clean up, still trying to choke out the sobs breaking loose from her chest. The blonde was hurting, for unknown reasons. She was sober by the time they had gotten into bed. Neither of them have had said anything since the bathroom, but Jinsoul had a hold of her hand, slowly her thumb across the back of it.

“Sooyoung I love you.” She turns her gaze to the blonde whose hair was still soaking wet from the shower they took. Of course Sooyoung respected Jinsoul and had her back turned but it took everything when she started to cry again. Jinsoul is staring at the floor, while Sooyoung felt relieved and almost giddy. Jinsoul looked broken, and it started to break Sooyoung too.

“I love you so much.”   

Jinsoul closes her eyes when Sooyoung doesn’t say it back. But she doesn’t have to because she’s already poured her heart out. Sooyoung had no secrets between them, but Jinsoul had kept so much from her. She still had to explain things but the tightness in her chest wasn’t allowing her too.

She so badly wanted Sooyoung the same. But if she wasn’t careful she would ruin it all. 

Jinsoul almost couldn’t take it anymore. 

Sooyoung understood her in that moment however and reached over to pull her close. Jinsoul melted in the embrace. I want to build a life with you but how can I when other people want to build my life for me. The communication was unspoken, Sooyoung somehow knew what Jinsoul was feeling and Jinsoul knew exactly what Sooyoung had felt.

Sooyoung had waited for her. No matter how much she pushed her away and told her she could care less. She still cared enough to stay strong for them and now Jinsoul sobbed into her chest. She wanted to start the rest of her life with Sooyoung now. She wanted forever to start now.

In the darkness Jinsoul finds comfort, because it’s only her and Sooyoung. She doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring when they’re both sober. 

“Thank you for telling me Sooyoung,” It’s muffled against the girl’s chest and Jinsoul can hardly breath, but Sooyoung smells so good and she’s so warm. It grounds her from the panic attack that was close to breaking. 

Sooyoung kisses the top of her head, “I don’t think I needed to tell you.” Jinsoul couldn’t tell her she was right. She knew Sooyoung had feelings but hearing it made it so much realer. It made her feelings stronger because now all she wanted to do is drown in them, to give Sooyoung what she deserved. “I can’t believe I did though…I was only a little .” Jinsoul snorts and grimaces when she accidently blows some snot on Sooyoung’s shirt…or really it was her shirt. 

Jinsoul sighs and let’s herself suffocate in Sooyoung’s tight hold. All her life she’s been told what to do, where to be and who to be with. If she didn’t do what she was told then she would be a failure.

This felt quite the opposite of failure…this was nothing but success.

Sooyoung was who she wanted to be with, Sooyoung’s arms was where she wanted to be. This is what she wanted to do. 

“God I feel crazy right now Jinsoul after all this time.” Sooyoung was so happy, she had finally gotten it off her chest. She didn’t have to pretend anymore. She didn’t have to excuse her feelings. “For so long I convinced myself I didn’t want you like that, maybe it would be better if we was just friends.” Jinsoul remains silent, listening to Sooyoung’s slow heart beat pick up its pace. “I didn’t know how to act around you, I tried to hate you at one point but I couldn’t I still thought about you all the time.” 

Jinsoul slips her leg between Sooyoung’s and sneaks her hands up her shirt to touch the hot skin there. “And one day you just wanted to be friends again…after you broke my nose.” Sooyoung giggles when she feels the vibration of a groan against her chest. She was on top of the world right now and she wanted to let everyone know just how good she felt being with Jung Jinsoul, “you spun me around, I didn’t know what to think for the longest time until I finally just gave in.”

“I just let you…I, Jinsoul you don’t know how good you make me feel.” Sooyoung smiles at all the memories, from long ago to recently. “You don’t know how much it hurt either when...” It’s no longer a bitter thought, but more of a lesson. Something she will never allow herself to go through again. “I thought we couldn’t be friends again.”  

But Jinsoul had preserved and pierced her heart again.   

Now she was in love. 

So deeply she doesn’t know if she could dig herself out if she needed to. Sooyoung only hopes she doesn’t have to, “when we kissed in the garden that one day I knew I had never stopped loving you.” Sooyoung recalls the kiss, and the times before that when she kept pushing Jinsoul away. How hard the blonde tried making things right between them and finally succeeding. 

It wouldn’t have changed things if Sooyoung had moved on. But how could she ever move on. 

Jinsoul silently cries, Sooyoung was perfect. Too perfect for her. The girl was so genuine it broke her heart. She hated herself for what she had done to Sooyoung. After putting her through the emotional torture and having her comeback to her in such a short time. Jinsoul didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve Sooyoung.  

It was her turn now.

Jinsoul’s turn to pour her heart out.

But instead, like Sooyoung who had told her, Jinsoul would show her.

She would show her everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Don’t get too comfortable ahaha…hope this chapter is alright and everyone enjoys. Lots of Love muah