In-ah’s POV

Sunlight coursed through my peach curtains as I stretched in my bed to wake up. With this cold weather, I wrapped myself in the comfy blankets wanting to sleep in. I frantically woke up remembering the incident that occurred last night. Surely I was not drunk, but I remember Jackson hugging and comforting me after the talk we had at his place. I groggily got out of bed just as a headache painfully delayed my morning routine. This was the common aftermath of a tearful breakdown. A painkiller and coffee was the only solution to this problem. Thankfully, I didn't have to go lab till later.

As I finished brushing my teeth, I heard my name from the kitchen area. Oh no! Could it be him? How did he get inside?! “Jackson! What are you doing here so early?! How did you get in here?!” I hollered but then I felt a pang inside. Stupid headache. I rummaged through the medicine cabinet to find the pain relievers I needed.

“Well I found your door password,  as I was leaving last night. It was on the note near the shoe rack. Shouldn’t leave things lying around like that. Anyways good morning beautiful!” He gave me one of those charming smiles that any girl could melt for.  His special handmade omelet and toast was placed on dining table. “I need coffee first.” When I was about to get up he quickly sat me down.

“Now I know how you love coffee, but not with that headache. Instead drink this, it will be better than taking a pain killer.” I looked into the mug with steamed red liquid. “What is this?” I asked with a smug look

“This is a special tea that I always have in stock when I get sick. It really helps. My mom taught me the recipe. It’s made with rose water, various citric fruits and barley.” I could feel his eyes watching me as I slowly picked up the tea. “Wow this is strong.” My face gave off a sour expression. Why was he smiling at me?!

“Yeah it is, but you will get used to it. I put some leftovers in your fridge. Heat it and use when needed. I have my own stock at home.” Somehow it warmed my heart how much he cared, but at the same what was I thinking. A girl like me with a guy like him, impossible. “Well let’s dig in. So what’s up with you today?” He curiously asked. It was nice that guy was interested in the day and life of Choi In-ah. This was so unlike my ex.

“Well in another hour I have to leave for the lab. I need to check on some progress of ongoing samples. Also need to check in on the graduate interns.” I was happy with the position of being project lead, it made me feel like my own boss.

“Wow, that’s cool being a team and boss. Exactly how I felt when I started Team Wang.” I suddenly realized me and Jackson are alike in some ways, in a more deeper level.

“I have to head up to JYPE today for another concept meeting. Let me drop you off beautiful.” He began clearing up the table after he was done eating. I stood up to help, but he quickly protested.

“J-Jackson, it is sweet that you’re doing this, but we need to set some boundaries if we are going to be friends.” He gave me furrowed look. I didn’t want to offend him, however without boundaries, situations could get messy and I was not here for it. “Alright, what are these boundaries you propose?” His tone turned icy.

“One, no picking me up or dropping me off at the lab. JYPE and Hallym University are on opposite sides. Two, do not call me beautiful, only call me by name. Three, text me when you are going to enter my place.” I looked at him waiting for an answer.

“Fine. But I propose some changes to these rules. I get to call you beautiful, which you are, when we are alone. I will look after you in terms of food and sickness. Final call, take it or leave.” He gave me a stern look longing for an agreement. I huffed under my breath. At least it was not too many changes.

“Well have a good day beautiful! I will see you tonight at my place. The member are dying to hang out with you. So come hungry, there will be dinner.” He put his muscular hands around me to give me a bear hug before he left. “Uhhhh….. Jackson, no hugging either.” Every part in my body froze as I felt his warmth against me.

“Sorry beautiful, you will have to accept them. I didn’t hear this rule in the terms and conditions.” He gave a haughty laugh as he exited.

This boy! What can I do?! He’s making me crazy. I got to my bedroom in frustration to get ready for work

                                              ******

I rung the doorbell of Jackson’s front door. Surely I didn’t know his password like he knew mine. It’s an invasion of privacy. Hoping my appearance was suitable, I came dressed in jeans and a regular t-shirt and no makeup. It did feel comfortable to see each other's bare face after getting to know the boys. There have been many occasions where I seen them as normal guys, well they their appearance anyways. Their personalities are a whole another story.

“Noona! You’re here! I missed you so much!” BamBam and Yu-gyeom gave me giant hug. I loved these two kids, they never failed to perk my mood up even though they are a little too chaotic for my taste. Young-jae being the quieter one gave me a small smile and light hug. He led me into the living room where the rest were hanging out.

“In-ah! What’s up! Nice seeing you again!” Mark gave me a high five as I sat down next to him. To my surprise, I was not blushing in front of them. The stiffness that I used to have gave up, as I became comfortable around the. It felt like I had known them for years. My chest gave off a warm fuzzy feeling.  

I looked around Jackson’s apartment noticing all the little details. Last time I came here, it was during a breakdown. I saw that he had a whole shelf of books, never figured that he was really the book-worm type. As I coursed through his shelf to appreciate the novels, I felt a breath on my neck. I jumped and turned around only to find Jackson staring at me with flirtatious eyes.

“P-Pretty cool collection of books you have.” I said with a shaking voice. “Thanks, Jin-young and Jae-beom have influenced me over the years. I just read here and there when I have time. Also why are your cheeks flushed? Is it because I’m here?” With a playful grin, he started pointing out the obvious.

“N-No…. I was surprised because you suddenly walked up behind me.” I swept past him and slipped into the dining area to avoid the awkward situation.

“In-ah, do you drink? Would you like some wine?” Jae-beom heartily asked. I was known to have few occasional drinks during socials. My limit was two glasses, however I never got drunk, never did and never wanted to. I knew these boys had a high alcohol tolerance because they talked about it so openly in interviews and variety shows.

I took my glass of wine from Jae-beom until something caught my eye on the dining table. What were these books? While skimming through the books, I realized the topic was about mental health, stress and emotional pain. Why did Jackson have these books? In frustration, I went to go find this clueless boy.

“Jackson? What are these books and why do you have them?” I asked in an irritated tone. “Oh those, I bought them after your breakdown. I wanted to know more about the emotional pain you were talking about. It was the only way I could help you.” He said unknowingly.

“Listen Jackson, we agreed to be friends, I don't mind that. However, you can't  fix my pain or help me. Nobody can!” The members came rushing into the kitchen as my voice got louder.

“What is going on?!” Jin-young asked as if he was watching a battle. I’m pretty sure he could tell fire was spewing inside me.

“In-ah do you hear yourself? I want to help you. In times like these you need another person! Why can’t you understand I’m doing all of this because I like you! Why are building a wall around yourself?!” He shouted as if the neighbors could hear. Jae-beom and Jin-young went around to calm him down. The younger ones held onto me as my body started to shiver with tears

“Jackson, In-ah, let’s calm down and talk about this. No need for the blasting fire right now.” Mark logically said. “No need, I’m going home.” I pushed my way out of the members and left for my place.

Just as I was about to exit, I felt the grip of a muscular hand on my wrist. “In-ah, please let’s talk it out. I’m sorry for getting so worked up” He gave me an apologetic look to soften my mixed feelings.  “Fine then, my place, now for privacy.” He nodded in agreement as we headed up

                                               *******

“Jackson, my answer is the same. I do not want a relationship.” I said in an icy tone. He has to understand it by now.  

“But why not? I want to help you, I’m not pitying you. You need a partner to help get through pain. Look, my members were always there for me ever since my trainee days. Sure we had our fights, but after my parents, they are second to help me navigate stress.

“I-I do not want to date, because I am afraid you will leave me like my ex. In the beginning, it's always rainbows and sunshine. Later,I don’t know, people begin to distance themselves from me. I’m probably the problem.” My emotions couldn’t handle it and I suddenly broke down in tears. Jackson came up to me as his warm hands cupped my small face. “Hey look at me.”

I tried my best to avoid eye contact, but how was it possible when he was face was so close to mine. “In-ah, stop beating yourself up. You are not the problem. The people who do truly want to stay will stay. If they don’t want to stay then they are missing out. As for your ex, he was an for leaving you alone in times of need.”

“How do I know, you won’t leave me?” I blubbered my sentence through pauses of tears. Suddenly Jackson leaned closer, as I was against the wall now.

“I will gladly prove you wrong now….” and just like that my mind went blank.