“Sa kanya pa rin babalik, sigaw ng damdamin,
Sa kanya pa rin sasaya, bulong ng puso ko.”
- Sa Kanya by JKris

“My heart tells me it's you. You are my home, my love.”

(It's not the translation.)

“Find me, I've lost my way. Come to me and take me with you, I prayed.”
- Secret by Taeyeon

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Chapter 18

Still

JENNIE

"She... told you?" I heard Lisa asked.

It seems like she was talking to someone inside her room. The door was slightly open and I could clearly hear their conversation.

I came to give her the invitation to my wedding. And if possible, we'd talk some things out.

"Really?" she asked again as if it's unbelievable. I stepped a little closer, holding unto the doorknob keeping the door from opening widely.

"Yes," it was Chaeyoung who answered.

"Is that why you made us see each other at the mall the other day?" Lisa asked.

"I thought you two needed to talk. I knew you wouldn't go if I told you you're meeting her. So, I kept it a secret. She didn't have any idea, too." This time, it was Jisoo.

Lisa laughed. "As if it will change anything," she said that made my heart dropped.

I bit my lip as I try to suppress the tears that's about to escape. Looking back on our previous meeting, she has a point. It will never change a thing. At the end of the day, we'd still end up on our separate ways.

And just the thought of it breaks my heart. We've come to an end without knowing where to stop. She knew where we ended, but I didn't. And it was what I want to know.

I don't even know why I'm feeling this way. I'd like to think that it was all over the moment I said yes to him, but why do I feel like there's something wrong with what's happening now.

Is this even right?

"Jennie, are you okay?" I looked up and saw him — Jongin. We're in front of the altar where we'll be wed in two days.

My tears fell at his gaze. This man in front of me is the person I will spend the rest of my life with – that's what my mind tells me whenever I look at him, even from the start it was how I always see him.

But, something isn't right with it.

To think, I have so many things I still don't know yet, so many feelings that are still hidden, questions that are still unanswered, and heart still confused.

Whenever I look at him, I see a different person in his eyes. I see her in my own reflection. I'm seeing myself, but at the same time I know it wasn't me. It's her.

In my eyes, it's still her. My heart... my soul... still belongs to her.

This is wrong. Being with him seems right. But it always feels wrong within. Being with her always seem wrong. But it always feels right.

"Uh..." I shook my head and looked down. "I'm sorry..."

~❇~

[Flashback]

I stretched my arms forward as I stride towards to where her voice is coming from. I'm currently blindfolded as Lisa requested to play. I did not agree to this and I don't know why am I even playing it now.

"Where are you? Speak up! You're bei