Mai shifted in her position on the couch as she tried to concentrate on the book in front of her. Trying, but failing. With a sigh she gave up, dog-earing the page and closing the book. She turned her head, unconsciously evaluating the silence in the dorm living room. It had been a long time since the place was this quiet. When it had been only her and Renn, she could always count on an empty dorm when she needed to relax in peace. Funny thing was that their new roommates probably occupied the place more than they did, ever.

Looking across the room, Mai noticed the dwindling box of tea packets and made a mental note to buy some later. She didn’t drink tea herself, but she knew Renn took a liking to it for her mornings, the rare occasion Mai would see her. To be honest, she and Renn barely talked, their exchange of words little compared to the time they’d known each other. Since they had their own rooms and operated at different schedules, there had really been no need to talk. She knew she didn’t know the older girl like the boys did, but since they lived together, Mai couldn’t help picking up a few things about her unnie. Like how the older girl would often pick the exact instant when everyone’s attention was elsewhere to slip away, or her tendency to wander, or how easily she blushed, even when she wasn’t with Jay; Mai had noticed the things that didn’t need words to learn.

As Mai let out a sigh, a sudden thought sprang to her mind, further dampening her mood. Why was she thinking of them so suddenly? But it was a rhetorical question, since deep down she knew she missed her old family. She had gone several months without seeing them, and their last get together seemed bittersweet. Mai closed her eyes as she recalled the memory.

Her hands in her pockets, Mai reached the hotel where they were staying and briefly stopped. She hadn’t felt it in a long time, but she was nervous, and she hated the feeling. Part of her felt bad that she had to ditch the boys and Renn on their visit to whatever bar they had been planning to go to, but as much as she would have welcomed any reason to delay this meeting, she knew she had to face the music at some point.

Taking a breath, she pulled the door open and walked in, spotting him immediately. His blue hoodie ped to reveal a black tee, he wore faded jeans and blue converse to match. From her angle, she could see the small black stud earring that she had once coerced him to get. The only thing on her mind was why Angelo wasn’t here, and why was this guy was here instead.

Charlie looked up, his eyes catching hers. “Hey.”

“Hey.” She approached him, hands unconsciously closing into fists in the pockets of her own hoodie. An awkward silence followed as people buzzed around them, some checking in, some checking out. “Where’s Angelo?”

He looked back over and cocked an eyebrow. “We haven’t seen each other in months, and that’s the first thing you ask?”

“No,” she quickly replied. “No, it’s just, Angelo said he’d meet me here.”

“He’s upstairs. I volunteered to meet up with you cause I was just coming in anyway.” Mai nodded, her eyes moving away from him and onto a little boy who was pulling on her mother’s sleeve as the woman checked and double-checked her luggage. “So, how are you?”

Mai didn’t take her eyes off the boy as he failed to get his mother’s attention. “I’m good. You?”

“Yeah.” Another awkward silence. “So, did you want to go up?”

Mai finally looked up and nodded as they headed towards the elevators. The ride up was long, a lot longer than she’d expected seven floors to be. He led the way to a room at the end of the hall and knocked. Mai could hear faint sounds through the door and movement, quickly followed by her being enveloped in a hug.

“Mai!”

She barely had enough time to steady herself before she felt another body collide with theirs, and it took all her strength not to fall over. After some shouts from inside the hotel room, she was let go and pulled into the room where the rest of her family was waiting. From the two queen beds, Mai figured they had more rooms since it was definitely not enough for the eight members present in the room.

“Hey guys--”

She was interrupted by another hug; Claire was still as bubbly as ever.

“Claire! Stop stealing her!” Someone she was sure was Chohee called over, and Claire let go, and Mai soon found herself being passed around the group, hugging each member save the one who had brought her up. It would have looked awkward if her crew hadn’t assumed that they had already greeted each other in the lobby.

“How many months has it been?” Peter asked as he sat back down on the bed. “Thought you didn’t want to come back, with you taking so long to get here. We probably should have sent someone else down there with Charlie...”

Mai didn’t need to pay attention to notice the shift in mood, but she ignored it. “So, how long are you guys here? When’s your performance?”

“In a few days. We’re here for a a bit, then we’re off to Japan.” Angelo answered from his spot beside Ayumi.

“Not important.” Claire flapped her hand, interrupting their leader. “How’s working with 2PM?” she asked eagerly.

Mai’s mouth opened before she closed it again. She was suddenly aware of the expressions on their faces; it was still a sensitive topic. “It’s fun. The boys have a hectic schedule, and they rehearse a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time in a studio,” she told them simply.

“Any one of them catch your eye?” Peter joked.

An image of a boy in a red and black striped stage outfit flashed in her mind immediately, but Mai quickly disregarded it, hastily pushing the mental image away from her consciousness. “As if,” she replied with a smirk.

“Mai,” Ayumi finally spoke up. “You’ve changed. You never used to be this quiet.”

Mai looked over in surprise. “What? What are you talking about?” She moved, pushing Chohee over so that they could share the chair the older girl had been sitting on. “I’m as lively as ever.”

Charlie scoffed. “Right.”

Mai got back up and approached the older boy with a sly smile. “Don’t believe me?” Her eyes flashed as her hand slipped around his waist; she didn’t have to turn around to know the atmosphere had tensed. Her finger found the button, and the room was soon filled with the beats of Far East Movement’s summer track. Mai had seen the stereo on the table coming in, and Charlie had just happened to be leaning in front of it. Just her luck, the song had just begun, cuing her moves as she backed up and freestyled to the middle of the room. Her body popped to the beat integrating her isolations and a style she hadn’t danced to in a long while. Her hands moved up to follow the curvature of her body as she moved her hips and baited the boy in front of her.

For the past few months, Mai had been stuck doing 2PM choreography and normal hip hop routines, so dancing like a girl was something none of the boys had seen her do. The smirk on Charlie’s lips told her he hadn’t lost his competitive edge, that, or he still enjoyed watching her dance.

The rest of the members hooted and cheered at appropriate times as she danced, and as she gave the dance floor over to the boy leaning against the table. They would have gone another round if Angelo hadn’t cut in, announcing their dinner plans downstairs. The cheerful mood had returned as they happily chatted on the way down to the restaurant.

“Aw Mai I missed you,” Chohee stated after she had caught her breath. “Now we have no one to lighten the mood when we’re all exhausted.”

Mai raised her eyebrows. “You do remember you have Claire right?”  

“Since Claire is the most hyper, it also means she runs out of energy the fastest,” Angelo commented offhandedly. “Besides, you always seem to take it on yourself to cheer people up, no matter how tired you are, not to mention the extents you go doing it. Weirdo.”

Mai stuck her tongue out at him as she stood up and excused herself, leaving the table full of laughter behind. The washrooms were located downstairs, and for some reason she found herself lost as she tried to make her way back. Turning a corner, she abruptly stopped, almost walking into the figure in front of her.

“Lost?”

“Maybe,” she replied, her face neutral as they stood in the silent hallway. His expression told her that Charlie still had something to say, so she waited.

“You shouldn’t have left.”

Mai kept her gaze even as she responded to his statement with a question. “Which are you talking about?”

“Both,” he answered plainly. “You should have thought it through before accepting the position.”

“I did.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Is it?”

“That’s bull and you know it,” he replied quietly. “The others may not want to bring it up, but someone has to tell you how selfish your decision was.”

Mai bit back a retort. Charlie was right, as much as she didn’t want to admit it. Her crew had been like her family, to say that the members were just close friends was putting it lightly. They were her family and the decision to leave them had been hard, but that was only half of the story.

“How’s Stephanie?”

Charlie gaze wavered but his eyes never left hers. “Don’t change the subject.”

“Technically I’m kinda still on topic,” Mai said coolly. “You knew it wasn’t going to work out. Besides, you have a new girlfriend. I’m happy for you.”

Mai could see Charlie’s jaw move as the latter clenched his teeth. “So you’re saying us arguing had nothing do with your impulsive decision.”

“We both knew it was gonna end Charlie. Don’t make me revisit that day.”

Charlie looked away, examining the light fixtures on the wall. “You know, for some reason, I always imagined me breaking up with you, and not the other way around.”

Mai snorted. “Cocky,” she replied bluntly.

“But you liked that,” he answered with a smirk. “My seriousness, but also when I made you laugh.”

“Charlie...”

“You’ve changed Mai.” He was watching her again, and Mai thought she saw a brief flicker of concern in his expression. “You may be all laughs here, but you’ve changed. And why do you have so many walls up? Lighten up.” Mai cursed her ex for knowing her so well, but before she could respond he had already walked past her, leaving her behind.

Mai’s eyes peaked open as her cellphone went off indicating that it had received a text. She pushed the button on the side to quiet it as a sigh escaped her lips. She would have taken Charlie’s advice if the whole controversy hadn’t occurred soon after. Charlie had been right, she had been keeping walls up. Although it had been her decision to accept the position, impulsively or not, leaving her crew and her family had taken a bigger toll on her than she had previously thought. And unconsciously or not, she had been keeping everyone at arms length to keep herself from being attached again, but apparently, she failed at that as Jay’s departure had affected her a lot more than she let on. So it was a meter’s distance know, to make sure it wouldn’t happen again.

She finally opened her phone to check the message. It was a text from Chansung asking her if she was coming to tonight’s rehearsal for the MAMA’s. A part of her didn’t want to respond, but she figured it couldn’t hurt to send him a reply. After hitting the send button, Mai went through some of her old text, narrowing her eyes as she reached one from Charlie. He had texted her on her birthday about a month ago, but she hadn’t been in the mood to send a reply. Jay’s controversy still hanging stagnant in the air, she didn’t think it was the time for celebration, and had kept her birthday to herself.

Another text, Junho this time. The younger boy was basically asking the same thing, and it made Mai wonder if they were texting her secretly. She bit her lip as her fingers hovered above her keypad. With a groan she pulled herself together, quickly sending him a one worded reply and snapping her phone shut.

Checking the time, she got up and made her way back to her room. Her skinnies lay on her bed where she had left them, and she walked over to her closet and pulled out sweatpants and a t-shirt two sizes too big and threw them into her duffle bag. She still had time before she had to head back to JYPE, but might as well get ready now. Her mind tended to wander when she wasn’t doing anything, and she didn’t like that.

Author's Note: Just in case anyone needs a little clarification, this is referencing Chapter 2/3 where the boys' and Renn went to the bar Kass worked.