Chapter 11 - Expectations Vs. Realities
Small Distance
*Note: In case anyone didn't know "_____" is for speaking outloud, audibly for others to hear and '_____' is for thoughts/thinking, so others cannot hear these*
Minwoo's POV:
My father stared at me, completely baffled by what I said. He cleared his throat before he set his eyes on mine again. "You aren't in love with the Lee prince then? T-that is fantastic! But what are you trying to gain from this then boy?" My father asked me, questioning my motives. I opened my mouth to reply, silently closing it after no thoughts came to mind. 'What am I trying to do? Now that Donghyun got a chance talk to Hyunseong I can stop this foolishness... so why don't I stop now before things get complicated?'
My father kept staring at me, waiting for the next brilliant answer his most loyal son would give. I cleared my mind of all thoughts, letting anything that came in mind fill my mouth.
"This makes it possible for us to find out the secrets of the Lee Kingdom. We can destroy them from the inside and gain control of both kingdoms, making us powerful beyond any other kingdom." I replied in an unwavering, genuine voice, much different from the deep confusion I was experiencing inside. 'It's not like I lied or anything, it is a brilliant plan (though it prolongs my relationship with that Lee prince). It's not like I do feel anything for someone from such an unappealing background... I just can't leave such a fool alone to do idiotic things while he is in my presence...'
My father gave me an soul piercing look before letting out a loud, hearty laugh. "That's my boy! Thinking of our kingdom as always, you are the one son I can boast of to anyone! Now now boy, I will keep your secret safe, but don't you go on forgetting what you had just told me! Does this mean the Lee prince doesn't know, him being the only one in love? Knowing my most beloved son is actually able to expand our kingdom is just wonderful! Much better than seeing your amazingly good looks go to waste on such a boy (meaning Minwoo is not gay and so, can get married to a princess, thus expanding the kingdom literally)!"
I smiled at my father, knowing I have done my duty as his most cherished son. He smiled back with an overjoyed grin, giving me a sense of great accomplishment. Even so, as he gave me a pat on the back and left without another word, troubling thoughts began to fill my mind yet again.
'Now, the Lee Kingdom will finally fall due to their naïve and trusting nature. This is all I've ever wanted... so why do I feel like I shouldn't have suggested it? It's just that Jeong- ...no, impossible!' My face flushed a pale, light pink for even thinking of the fool, recalling the same uncertain feeling I had experienced when he had the nerve to suggest sharing the same bed as I. I felt anger brewing inside of me for his strange ability to make me feel unclear about what was usually the obvious choice for me. It was even worse as he was a Lee Prince, daring to actually befriend an enemy.
'I am feeling guilty for Donghyun as Hyunseong is a part of the Lee Kingdom... nothing more! To be a faithful prince one must not be so intrigued by the enemy, for only danger comes through that! Donghyun must learn such things before he falls away from the kingdom completely... and I must keep my distance.'
I left the hall in a huff, heading back towards the training area in hopes that that fool didn't manage to hit everything BUT the target he was aiming for (those were high hopes). Suddenly though, I felt myself being pulled aside. My eyes widened. Kwangmin. He heard everything.
"I didn't like the Lee Kingdom that much before either... but now that I know them a bit better they don't seem all that bad! Don't you think it's a bit much to play with someone's heart just to gain more power?" Kwangmin said in an angry voice, which I don't think I've ever heard before. I kept silent for a few seconds before I finally thought of a reply. "Why should you care so much? Jeongmin and I aren't actually in love, we are just pretending. He won't get hurt, and if he does, why should I care? He is the enemy. We are not supposed to care about the enemy, or they will take advantage of us before we get the chance to!"
'I feel like I am lying to myself now. But it doesn't matter. Emotions and feelings like that make you weak. I cannot let myself become like that. If I do, who else can my father rely on?'
Kwangmin's eyes burned into me, his eyes looking like tears could sprout from them any moment. "I can't believe you said that. You've always cared, no matter who it was. You still cared about Donghyun after dad ignored his entire existence. You even care about Jeongmin's safety even though he's from the Lee Kingdom! Please don't lie to me, to yourself. I don't care how many times you tell yourself, or someone else of how much you despise the Lee Kingdom, because I know that deep inside you do care. Stop acting like dad's personal puppet and start saying how you really feel. Do you really hate the Lee Kingdom as you say?"
The words struck deep into me, causing me to question myself more than I would like. I was perplexed, unable to let out even a tiny sound. 'Do I? Am I really my father's puppet? My whole life I believed every word he ever taught me. I lived, ate, breathed it, not letting a single one of his ideas slip my mind. But was I really lying to myself? I hate... the Lee Kingdom and everyone in it... Hyunseong... Youngmin... Jeongmin... but do I really? I do - well I should! It is horrible thoughts like these that destroy loyalty. No loyalty will lead me far from the kingdom, and that will destroy father. I cannot do that to him, even if that costs everything I treasure. In that case, my answer is...'
"Yes, with all my heart. I will never put an enemy over my kingdom for as long as I live. Never."
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So here I am... destroying everyone's dreams of Minwoo being in love with Jeongmin with his thoughts... or am I? ;P You may take what he thinks as the beginning of his eyes being opened, as he questions his beliefs. Or you can be pessimistic and think of it as the confirming his everlasting loyalty to the king. I have it planned out... but do you think Minwoo will push aside his loyalty for his true nature or keep it within him to please his father, the person he lives to please? Can anyone feel the pressure Minwoo has, being called the 'most beloved prince', the 'favourite son'?
I'm not too happy with this chapter because it's all thoughts and it wasn't too fun to write (not much happens)... but I think it's okay.... right? Guys? Don't leave, I kind of put a Jeongwoo part TT.TT
Please subscribe and/or comment!! Feel free to criticize... but don't kill me for making Minwoo put the king over Jeongmin xD
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