“Sorry, Tzutzu. It’s just that I am just a bit jealous… Forgive unnie?” Nayeon unnie looked at me pitifully.

“I…. Okay…”

Sigh… Why am I so weak to her? When she started her pitiful baby aegyo look, no matter what mistakes she did, I still forgave her…. Sigh….

***Rang*** Rang*** Rang****

“Come on, Chewy!!! Let’s go back!!!”

I was being pulled… Again… This time….. By Sana-unnie… Oh right… My parent having business trip…  I will have to stay with her for this week… Reason? No one in the house. No fighting scene to see. No maid to help cook food. Just me, only me. Isn’t it really necessary to bring all the maids together to the trip? And all my clothes and items (yes, items as in furniture, games, books in my room) had been send to Sana-unnie today morning, minus what I wear to school now, wallet and school bag.

Normal?

Of course not! But this is not the first time they did that…  

So yes…. Still manageable.

****At Sana-unnie’s house****

And here I am…. At Sana-unnie’s house…  Feeling my hand a bit numb, I try to remove my hand from Sana-unnie’s grip. Instead her grip getting tighter, not wanting to let go.

“Uh… Sama-unnie? Can you let go my hand?” I turned to her.

“… No!”

“Uh… Okay…” With that, I bring her to the usual room. Ignoring her, taking off my clothes in front of her. One hand really hard to do… Oh well… just wait….

“Ah!!!!”

With that, there goes Sana-unnie… Locking the door, I quickly change off to a more casual wear. Preparing myself for exam tomorrow.

Time really pass quickly when you are focusing. I stretched out my body, feeling strangely satisfied when I heard the sound of my joint pop.

Not forgetting my promise to Mina-unnie, I go to the tree house. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the tree house is just a window away from my room in Sana-unnie’s house.  So, another Yes. I climb out from my window to the tree house in front. And yes, the only way to go the tree house is through this room. So, yes. Sana-unnie can’t follow…

***Cricket sound***

Hmm? Mina-unnie not here yet? Funny… she’s usually punctual….

“Hey. Tzuyu.”

Mina suddenly pop up in front Tzuyu. Shocked by Mina’s sudden appearance, Tzuyu hide under the chair nearby.

“Tzuyu-ah… It’s Mina-unnie…”

“Can you come out the normal way? If you are here, call out me!”

Ugh. Still can’t stop my heart from beating so fast. Calm down… my heart.

“I did signal you with the cricket sound. And you should know by now, I have to hide from Sana-unnie too. She shouldn’t know I am here with you.”

“Grr. Fine. What you want?” I stares at her.

****************************************

Sometimes…. I really don’t know what and why am I doing here…. Really… It’s as though I living a life that is not me and yet consciously, I know…. I am just running from the problem. Dulling my sense on the situation befall by making myself small, trapping myself in a social wall that only few can look at but none can break it. If it happen, I ran. Ran away from the guilt of pushing people away, especially when they did their best trying to understand me. The way their eyes light up when they found a person they can express with; the part when they feel they can finally break through my wall, making our relationship to another level. But, as time goes, all the efforts is worthless. In the end, they finally succumb to it and our relationship getting farther and farther apart.

As a future heiress controlling one of the top company in the world, as a student from a school that only produce successful people, and an obedient daughter and granddaughter, these are my responsibilities in my current life. My brain acknowledge it… But…. My heart… told me…  I have the right to live, like everyone else. I have the right to choose my life. I have the right to be myself, not the heiress Chou Tzuyu, not the nerd Chou in JYP, not the daughter of Chou that keep on running when they fight. If given a choice, anyone can do it, probably at least one person out of 10 in the world that could do it better than me.

Maybe Mina-unnie is right…. Rather than run away, face it head on. If it can’t work, try other method. If still can’t, ask for help. Sooner or later, it will resolve. People changes. Circumstances changes. No matter how hard I denial it, it is a part of me.

Accept it. I am not just the messy nerdy that no one know until today, I am not just a promised fiancée to Sana-unnie, I am not just the daughter of a failed marriage, I am not just the future heiress of Chou’s family, I am....

I am Tzuyu.