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It was exaggerating, but his knees went weak as the entire world tilted. Namjoo kissed him heightening every little feeling he possessed for her. He withdrew to peer at her closed eyes. Touching her face to imprint this tiny moment forever into his head. Kissing her again as everything exploded in him.

That yes. He could do this.

Yes, he could be ever more confident. Hold his head high in the face of their troubles. Stand with her every step of the way. Because he had married her. Kim Namjoo was his person.

The kiss was gratifying. Even more when Namjoo’s warm breath touched his chin when they withdrew. This morning he thought his heart had fluttered never like before. Right now it was really pumping too fast.

She was so pretty it touched his heart. Sliding his hand off her face to her back he pulled her into a hug. Feeling her body press into his. The comfort, the warmth she provided made him feel stronger. And he was thankful she hadn’t turned away.

He would be good. He would always be good to her. He would make her happy, so that for every day of her life she would only laugh and smile.

That was his promise. To her. To her mother.

He would always treat her well.

He recognized Namjoo leaning her head against his shoulder. Absorbing the moment. Then she stepped back with her face turning pink. Looking like a shy little girl.

“I…I should go check on Auntie Park. You know…” Unable to look at him she turned the wrong way into the railing. Correcting herself immediately she rushed into the bedroom then out the door.

Sehun laughed at her. Feeling high he turned around. Laughing louder to himself, because the happiness was overpowering.

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Namjoo was in the kitchen with the kitchen lady when he reached the lower floor. She noticed him right away. Her eyes lingered over him bashfully before trailing off. He gushed at the sight of her. Today he was the happiest he’d been since getting married. Considered himself lucky that things had turned out this way. All the hardship was worth it. The tears Namjoo had shed wouldn’t be for nothing.

Sehun turned when the door opened. Spotting the grocery bags dangling off the housekeeper’s arms he walked toward her to help. It was the perfect excuse for him to go into the kitchen. The kitchen lady gave him a knowing grin when he put the bags down onto the island. He’d called earlier to say he was coming back for lunch. She had kept her promise not to tell Namjoo.

“I bought chicken. Mother says chicken is the perfect nourishment for a woman who is expecting,” Hyesoo ecstatically explained unpacking the bag of chicken s. “Looks like we’ll be eating chicken forever.”

She giggled which brought out a small laugh in him, but Namjoo seemed embarrassed. She shot the younger one a stare.

“So, when will you be seeing the doctor?” The kitchen lady that Namjoo always called Auntie Park asked.

“Next week.” He told.

“That’ll be so special,” she smiled at them. “It’s going to be quite the experience.”

For once, he stayed in the kitchen to lend a helping hand. As an amateur he seemed to be more in the way than of help. Hyesoo leant him her apron so that he matched with Namjoo. Soon enough the food was being cooked and he was told to monitor the pot on the stove. He watched Auntie Park teach Namjoo how to season boiled vegetables. Observing the concentration on Namjoo’s face as she studied everything she was being taught. Feeling blissful that she enjoyed what she was doing.

Once everything finished, Auntie Park made them plate the first dishes. Carrying them to the table. His stomach grumbled when they finally sat down to eat.

“I didn’t know that it took so much work just to make a meal,” Sehun commented.

“I guess now you know,” Namjoo said.

Casually putting food on her plate he asked, “Do you like it?”

Namjoo shrugged a little. “I guess I do.” She poked at her food uncertainly then looked at him, “My mom was really a hands-on person…you know. She helped with everything in the house. Everyone liked her.”

“You’re likeable, Namjoo.”

Namjoo’s eyes flittered down to her plate. “No. I’m very different.”

Did she know, he wondered, how truly frail she was? Every broken piece that dropped in her wake he would pick up. One by one he would heal everything, so that one day she’d no longer have to look back on her memories sadly.

“It’s delicious.” He put more food on her plate. “Eat up.”

He didn’t give her a kiss or anything of the like when he left. Turning around he stared at the house. Hoping that the oncoming days would bring more sunshine than rain.

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Namjoo jolted awake that night. With her heart wildly pumping. Another one of those dreams that sent her running down the hallway. Calming herself down she listened to the soft groan coming from Sehun. She didn’t want to disturb him, so she settled back down. Flipping onto her side she stared out the balcony door. The moon, once again, was so eerily bright. The sight was, for some reason, unsettling.

Turning her back on the light, she lay facing Sehun. Sound asleep he was. Unbothered by her. Dreaming about nice things maybe. While her heart continued to punch her insides. Shaking her with uneasiness. A clouded emotion that intensified at the pit of her stomach.

Scooting closer, she touched his shirt. Curling up against him. Focusing on his breathing as she waited for the frightening feelings to dissipate. Sehun budged and opened his eyes to look at her.

His voice croaked. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” she lied.

“Are you cold?”

“No.”

He studied her before turning to put his arm around her. Adjusting the blanket over her shoulder and draping his arm against her back. That quickly he sank back into his dreams. Leaving her wide awake. Her nose brushed his shirt. She stared into the crook of his neck. Feeling safer at last. Clamping her eyes shut she embraced him as she waited to fall asleep.

They slept in Saturday morning. Sehun had untangled himself from her mid-sleep. Namjoo woke up with her face buried in his shirt and her arm still glued around him. Sehun was still dead asleep by the time she removed herself from him. Quietly scurrying into the bathroom, Namjoo washed up. By the time she stepped out he was still sleeping.

Auntie Park and Hyesoo were up and preparing breakfast. Their eyes brightened when they saw her heading their way.

“Up so early,” Auntie Park greeted.

“Drink this,” Hyesoo handed her a fresh cup of water with two slices of lemon. “I just made it.”

“It’s probably not necessary,” Namjoo shook her head. She took the glass anyway. Just as she took a sip she felt it starting to come back up. Namjoo struggled to keep it down as her eyes wavered. Losing her battle of will she slammed the glass down and wheeled around in search of the bathroom.

When she returned to the kitchen Auntie Park gave her an I told you look with raised brows.

“It’s not,” Namjoo refuted. “I just had to spit.”

Ignoring her, Auntie Park explained, “We’re making chicken soup for you. I’m sure your husband won’t disagree.”

Namjoo gave her a flat look.

“Go wash these.” She was handed a bowl of fresh herbs. “Go on.”

Halfway through cooking Sehun finally woke up. The pot on the stove was boiling. Filling the kitchen with a fresh aroma of herbs that tickled everyone’s appetites. Auntie Park had him set the table then breakfast was served. Hyesoo intentionally made her another glass of water. Touching her shoulder as she did so. “Drink it slowly. It’ll help.”

Namjoo felt her brow twitch.

Sehun looked at her questionably from across the table. “What’s that about?”

“Nothing.”

“I didn’t get one.” He noted.

“Then I’ll make you one.” Hyesoo gladly offered.

Namjoo poked at her food. Mumbling, “I threw up.”

“What?”

“I said I threw up earlier.” Namjoo said louder.

“Oh…are you not feeling well?”

“I’m fine.” Namjoo muttered.

Hyesoo returned with a glass of water. Two slices of lemon were floating in it.

“Do you want it?” he asked.

“No.” Namjoo said. “They also do it in restaurants, you know.”

“Well…yea.”

Namjoo glanced at him. She was just rambling now. Stirring the chicken broth in her bowl she thought about last night. The dream that first sent her running to him. The ghostly image of her mother’s corpse. Foolish, but also something that scared her to this very day.

“I had a nightmare,” she confessed, “last night.”

Though she hadn’t looked up from her food she could sense his eyes on her. Conjuring the story wasn’t an easy task. Never would be.

“My mother’s ghost,” Namjoo told, “I dream of her.”

“Is that why you woke up?” he asked. Smiling to cheer her up, “Next time you can just wake me up. If I don’t wake up, you can kick me.”

She smiled, scoffing and listened to the low rumble of his laughter.

“Do you want to go on a walk later?” he wondered.

“No,” Namjoo answered. “I have a better idea.” He raised a brow. “I want to go shopping.”

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Namjoo sped them to the local mall. First, she stopped to buy a smoothie. Joining the daily shopping crowd she passed each window shop until she found what she was looking for. The furniture outlet.

“Here? Why?” Sehun followed her into the brightly lit store.

A variety of furniture was on display. Walking by each one Namjoo curiously ran her hand across each mattress. Entering the couch department.

Turning to face him, she said, “I want one for the third floor.”

He looked at her then around at the displays. For an hour they walked around. Testing the couches, debating. In the end Namjoo wanted an oversized circle couch. There was enough space to fully lay down or sit whenever she felt like it. It was more comfortable than her bean bag couch. With one word they bought it.

“Since we’re here, lets grab something to eat.” Sehun suggested when they left the store, but she was looking somewhere else.

Between all the colored heads of customers pouring in and out of shops, Namjoo saw only one person. There were two or three younger kids in tow. Each of them their own colorful ice cream cone. Dressed cheaply. Aged sneakers on each pair of feet, but they were smiling so big. Like they had the entire world. Namjoo imagined brightly lit flowers sprouting to life with their every step.

Lucky ones who would always savor the taste of freedom. Every coming year only filled with sincere laughter even with a little hardship, but the fruit of it would be fulfilling. Happiness was only reserved for people like that. Those who had grown up well. Appreciative of each and every day. The ones who knew how to honor their parents, their siblings, their friends. Children who did not harbor ill feelings. Would forever have that one person who truly loved them.

The back of her eyes burned. All the heads disappeared into the fog. All the lights went out. Namjoo’s sole focus landed on her old boyfriend of one year.

Lee Jinho.

Sorrow and regret burned her. Spinning around as Jinho and his siblings passed, Namjoo rushed back into the store to hide. Bumping into a woman so hard she knocked both of them onto the ground. The pain spread up through her kneecap, but couldn’t compare to the ache she was suddenly experiencing.

Lee Jinho, the lucky one.

She had envied him.

She had liked him.

She had forgotten about him.

Voices erupted behind her. The woman claiming it was not her fault. Namjoo blocked them out. She clamped her eyes shut. Consumed by every bitter emotion that had brought her this far. Mourning for the things she kept losing.

Her life.

Her freedom.

Everyone that loved her.

Sehun pulled her up. “Are you hurt?”

She couldn’t look at him. Remorseful toward him. Full of questions for herself. In this troubled state, she felt lost. Namjoo wanted to hide. Be alone.

“I want to go home.”

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Sehun stared from the doorway at Namjoo’s back. She’d immediately retreated to bed the moment they got home. So quietly without a word. He had thought she seemed happier at the mall. Maybe he had seen wrong.

He was worried for her.

Aware it was better to leave her be, but he didn’t want her to be alone. She didn’t have to suffer by herself. Whatever it was that was troubling her.

Sehun knew better. He really did, but he walked in anyway. Crawling under the blanket he hugged her. Burying his face into her shoulder. Lying quietly with her. Hoping she knew that he was here for her.

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Contrary to Namjoo’s meltdown Saturday she seemed to feel better the following days. Moving closer to sleep by him. Putting food on his plate for him. She had laughed once for him.

Auntie Park made them a super nutritious breakfast the morning of their first doctor appointment. He took off work to spend the day with Namjoo, so that morning they took their time waking.

The doctor appointment did not last as long as he expected. They had a small checkup on Namjoo’s health and answered some basic questions. The doctor kindly handed them some pamphlets to browse over when they returned home. Lastly they obtained an ultrasound picture of their seven-week-old fetus. Namjoo was due for some testing the following week, so after scheduling they left the hospital.

He held onto the picture all the way until they reached the car. Compared to the first time he found out they were expecting, he was honestly more excited today. The news that they would be having a child was now more real.

He was really going to be a dad.

“Are you hungry?” Sehun asked. “I’ll buy you something.”

He bought them snacks from the convenience store. Found a parking area in front of the river and sat on the trunk of his car. Enjoying the view as they ate. Watching the sun across the horizon as the water seemed to melt with the sky. Converging into one at the edge of the world.

The waves splashed against the rocks creating a draft of wind that blew past dousing the hot spring air. Summer was just around the corner. He planned to spend more time outdoors. They could go on a vacation, so Namjoo could enjoy fresh air instead of being home all day, spending her hours doing trivial activities. Sehun looked forward to spending more time with her before the baby arrived.

Seeing that she’d drained her water bottle he offered her his. “Thirsty?”

“No, I’m good. I actually want some juice now.”

“Oh…” he mumbled. “Should’ve bought some earlier, huh?”

She smiled at him. Appearing so pretty that it touched his heart. There was something about her these days he couldn’t explain. Maybe it was him. This warm edge he kept experiencing around her.

“Namjoo,” he said, “I want to kiss you.”

Their eyes met. She said nothing. The wind billowed flapping the hem of her long skirt. Spreading his fingers till their tips touched he dipped his head. Slowly waiting to see if she might change her mind. Taking, finally, into his.

***fan service before I bring back the family