I stood in the back with the other staff watching the monitors, they had made it through the opening song, Wonho's ear pieces came unattached and like a professional he just tossed them out of the way on the stage and continued through the choreography until the end when he grabbed them up and rushed back stage. Manager was waiting right by the side of the stage to get him all hooked back up again. The guys were killing it out there, Wonho hit all the lyrics and moves perfectly and it was almost like watching my actual self on stage in a kind of out of body experiance. The irony of that thought was not lost on me as I looked down to the body I was in. It made me miss being myself so much more, having the fans cheer for me, and them not being able to tell that wasn't the real me on stage had a strange feeling twisting in my stomach. I had told myself all that mattered was the show but now there was an emptiness inside of me, if anyone could just go out there and pretend to be me then what was I even needed for? 

     The guys all came rushing back for waredrobe changes and I tried to stay out of the way as much as possible. Wonho stopped right by me wearing the white sweat shirt, blue shorts and backwards cap looking nervous. 

     "Think I can do this?" He asked, part of me wanted to be mad at him for playing me so well but I knew if I did that it would crush his confidence for this segment and possibly mess up badly which wouldn't be good for anyone. So I held my tongue and gave him the thumbs up. During Minhyuk, Kihyun, and Wonho's personal stage the song was going great right up until the very end when Wonho got the choreo wrong. Kihyun and Minhyuk were able to play it off and joke around about it on stage making Wonho joke around too and low and behold Monbebes loved it. When they came back again Wonho came right up to me with tears practically in his eyes. 

     "Im so sorry, I didn't mean to mess up it just happened." He was blubbering aplologizes and I couldn't help but feel the anger I was feeling moments ago disipate within me, a deep want for consoling him instead came over me.

     "It's ok you tried your hardest that's all that matters and Monbebe loved it." He nodded but I could still see the tears shining on his eyes as he tried to hold them back to keep from messing up his makeup. He had a bit longer time off stage now since Shownu, Jooheon, IM, and Hyungwon each had their group stages to perform. He went and changed into his next outfit and got a makeup touch up and some water. 

     Thankfully his little slump didn't last long and seemed back to normal when he hit the stage again. Joking around with the guys acting like the fake maknae the way monbebes had come to expect from him. As the concert was winding down and they all came back for their final outfit change before the encore I grabbed him by the arm to talk to him for a second. 

     "You don't have to take your shirt off and throw it if it makes you uncomfrotable." I said. I wasn't sure if it was becasue I thought he would be uncomfortable or if it was me that was uncomfortable with it... I released him not even waiting for his reponce and went to the back trying to gather myself. What was wrong with me? What was I even saying? The shirt throw was one of the most looked forward to parts of the concert of course he had to take his shirt off and throw it. But that wasn't me out there, that wasn't me taking off my shirt and showing all my hard work to the fans, it wasn't me showing my love to them! I was stuck back here on the side lines watching as someone else lived my life for me. I think that's what was bothering me the most right now. 

     I didn't bother watching the end of the concert it was to painful in my heart knowing I could so easily be replaced. It was giving me something to seriously think about, what if I never got my own body back would Daysun just continue acting like me for the rest of my life? What would I even do being inside her body, I had no idea what she could do, what her passions were or even if she had any talents. I found myself sitting on one of the makeup chairs just spinning around. 

     "Something on your mind?" All of the staff knew about the switch so seeing one of the stylists back here wasn't to surprising. 

     "Wonho performed well huh?" She didn't seem to catch on to my sour mood and gushed over how well he did and how much the audiance was loving it. 

     "That's what I thought." I said on a sigh and left that room too, was no one going to tell me that I was needed in the group? Me the real Hoseok? I had wandered all the way through to one of the back hallways and stopped when I saw fans lining up just on the other side in the main lobby behind velvet ropes where a little platform in front of a black curtain was set up. Thats were the fans with VIP tickets would get to have the high touch event. That was the whole reason I got into this mess in the first place! I wanted to scream it out loud so that way maybe some part of the universe would hear my anguish and put me back in my rightful body. But instead I kept my mouth shut and just stood there watching as Monbebes lined up, I saw some glance over at me but none smiled or waved or even acknoledged me to say the least. The concert must have ended sooner than I thought because the screams and shouts from fans were enough of an indicator something was happening, then I saw all seven of them take line up behind the rope and staff started the event. I couldn't stand there and watch as Wonho was out there acting cute with fans, it made my heart clentch and I had to grit my teeth and turn away heading back down the halls. 

     I busied myself helping the stylists put everything away, there were a few times I had tried to talk myself out of my anger and rationalize it but soon enough it would return remindin