You stood out at the bus stop, freezing. You hugged yourself, trying to get a little warmth. Han and Felix came out, rapped in layers of warm clothing.

“What are you wearing!?” Han asked, startled. Felix raised an eyebrow. 

“Girl! It’s below freezing and your in a small jacket like that!? Your going to freeze to death!” He said. You shrugged, portending you weren’t cold. 

“I feel fine,” you said. You felt awkward. You kept thinking about yesterday. You thought about how you had told Felix how you felt. Kinda. But it still made you uncomfortable. You wish you could just erase that from existence. But you couldn’t. If would always be there.

You felt a warm coat being rapped over your shoulder. You looked up to see Han looking down at you sternly.

“Well, I’m not. So there,” he said, arms crossed. You smiled lightly and thanked him. You rapped it tighter around you, glad for its warmth. Han smiled and Felix laughed.

“Sure you weren’t cold!” Felix said, a bright smile on his face. You blushed, looking at the ground. You got on the bus, the others joining one by one. 

                                                                *Time Skip*

You got home after having one of the best days you have had for awhile. No one was at home with you. Your sister, Kat, was at her friend’s house, your younger siblings, Daniela and Jackson, were still not out of school yet, and your parents weren’t home yet. 

You did all your homework and was reading while listening to music when Daniela and Jackson got home. 

“La,la,la,la...” your little sister said, ignoring Jackson. He rolled his eyes.

“Daniela! Listen to me!” 

“LA,LA,LA,LA...” she song louder. Jackson did a scream deep inside his throat so that it wasn’t as loud as it would have been. 

“Jackson!” She said, turning and grabbing him by the arm. He pulled away and was about to say something, but you cut him off.

“Both of you! Stop it! You do this every single day!” You yelled from your seat. Daniela turned to you.

“Well he started it!” She said, annoyed. 

“I don’t care!” You said, just as annoyed. 

“Well, you need to mind your own business!” She said.

“It is my business if your yelling and I can’t focus!” You replied, not ready to give up. Daniela rolled her eyes and mumbled something under breath. 

“What?” You said, sounding disgusted. 

“Nothing,” she mumbled. You continued. 

You started to drop the reading and just listen. You never meant to, but it ended up being just said songs. 

After some time of listening you got off. Your dad had gotten home sometime during the time of you listening. 

The cold was cold, the moon bright outside. You sat in your favorite spot, the spot in which the moon shined on the most. It was so bright that you could see clearly your surroundings.

You had never thought to much about killing yourself, but always of running away. Maybe if you did all your fears would go away. Everyone always said you can’t run away from fear. But you were away willing to try.

Your mom got home a little bit after. She called for dinner.

You went inside, in one of your “moods.” You were hurting and you always blocked everyone and everything out when you felt like that. Because if you didn’t, you might collapse. 

You grabbed your water. On your way to your seat, Daniela (who was on the floor doing “ballet” while singing awfully) grabbed your hand playfully. You jerked it away, looking at her in disgust. 

“Sorry,” She said, hurt. You didn’t care. Not really. You walked to your seat.

Dinner went on. Everyone was acting like fools (like always) as you sat quietly, not joining in. No one seemed to notice. In fact, Daniela thought it would be funny to throw a napkin at you. You throw it right back.

“Stop it, Daniela,” you said threateningly. 

“Sorry,” She said then whispered to Kat, “She’s grumpy.” 

This didn’t make you any better. First off, who likes being called grumpy? But when someone doesn’t even notice that your hurting and instead thinks you’re “grumpy,” it’s gonna hurt.

“No I’m not!” You protested. She giggled. You excused yourself and left. You weren’t going to deal with this. 

You went to your room and sat on your bed. You didn’t know what to do. If you should cry, be angry, or simple do nothing. You decided. You would do all of them. But you couldn’t do it in your room. So instead you went outside.

Everything seemed to change outside. Like it was the only person on your side. You sat down, again, in your favorite spot. You started to pace, then sat back down. You rocked yourself mumbling “please, help me,” over and over again. Then you broke out into tears. Then screamed angrily at yourself. 

‘You just want attention! Why do you do this to yourself?! Tell someone! You know you have a problem! No I don’t!’ Thoughts like these ran through your head. You didn’t know anymore what was right from wrong. You didn’t even know your own feelings. 

“Y/N?” A voice called out from your front yard. You went silent. Then you slowly turned to see Han on the side of the road taking a walk. You didn’t know what to do.

“Yes?” You said, trying to sound like you weren’t crying. Were you really that loud?

Han seemed to know your voice. He walked up to your gate and opened it. Right in front of him was you. You hung your head low. He bent down. He raised your head so he could see your tear streaked face.

“Y/N?” He said again. You broke. You hugged him, your face buried deep in his chest. He held you. 

And though you knew you would regret all of this later, you let yourself go. You stopped worrying and just did. And Han was there for you the inter time. It was much easier that way, to have someone with you. 

Eventually, you stopped. You were surprised to see that you hadn’t soaked his shirt in snot in tears. 

“Han?” You said quietly.

“Hm?”

“Was I really that loud?” You asked the question that had been killing you. He laughed.

“No,” he said smiling. “I just knew.” You smiled back, thinking about just how ugly you probably looked. But you didn’t really care. You hugged him again.

“Well, I’m very glad that you just knew.”

/Probably not the best chapter, but...it was okay! (I guess)/