It had been a solid week of hell since you had broken up with Hoseok and life felt like it couldn’t get much worse. The school had granted you medical absences since the incident to stay at home and rest and you were thankful for their understanding and help, but only for all of the wrong reasons. This whole week you managed to dodge Hosoek at every opportunity that he tried to make his presence known. And god damn it, it was ing hard.

He tried beating down your door, calling you and texting you all the time and even harassing SeRa to get into contact with you on his behalf. You knew that it was hurting him to separate from you and it was killing him inside, but it was even harder for you. Serval times you wanted to knock on his door or even open up the windows to see him outside but the constant news coverage of the innocent murdered family kept you at home. Trapped inside with your shame, guilt and pain.

Life couldn’t just go back to normal after such a huge change and emotionally draining trauma. Hell, just wiping your was hard enough with healing ribs. you couldn’t even imagine actually living life the same anymore. And although you were a little sickened by the thought of it but the who incident taught you to be thankful for what you had and you learned that you couldn’t trust anyone.

At the end of the day it was only you who suffered in your pain. So it was justified that you were alone to deal with it.

The knocking at the door pulled you out of your trance and you looked to see SeRa standing in your door frame with the door just cracked open enough for her to see you. she smiled sympathetically to you when she realized the she had gotten your attention

“hey” she whispered “what are you doing?”

You cracked a small smile at her and shook your head

She pushed her way into your room from the small crack and made her way next to your bed and sat down next to you so she could talk with you. “Are you nervous about going back tomorrow?” she asked gauging your reaction.

You sighed and closed your eyes for a moment. . You thought to yourself. You had almost completely forgotten that you had to go back to school. You didn’t know how to answer her question because you didn’t know how you felt about it.  Were you ready? Could you handle the stares? Or possibly running into someone that you didn’t want to see?

You rolled your head to the side and looked at her with pursed lips. “I guess so. I just know that things are going to be awkward and weird for a while” you answered softly.

She just hummed in agreement ad dropped her gaze apologetically. She knew more than anyone else In this world that you would take the next few days in stride but knew that they would deeply terrify and hurt you.

“and what about Hoseok?” she asked softly still refusing to see you eye to eye.

You sighed again and she raised her head to gauge your reaction. You shook your head softly and remained silent. You hadn’t told her yet that you had dropped the class that you had with him, because she was too soft hearted and would tell Hosoek. And you loved her for her honesty but right now honesty wasn’t what was for the best.

“look… I know that you don’t really want to entice Hoseok right now or get his hopes up for anything.” She started and when you met her gaze her confidence fell a little. You could see it in her eyes “and I know that you probably don’t want to hear this right now, but he’s been acting really out of character and rough ever since he last saw you at the hospital.” She let her gaze wonder over to your phone “maybe you should consider talking to him just for a little to calm him down some.” She offered

You took a moment to let her words sink in and your heart fell a little hearing that Hoseok was going through a rough time, but it wasn’t a good time for you to contact him.

“maybe later” you said quietly, and politely turning down her offer

She nodded her head In understanding “im gonna go take a shower and go to bed, goodnight.” She said slowly getting up and walking away

You didn’t say anything back to her and instead let your minds wonder over Hoseok. What did she mean by he was acting out of character or rough? Hoseok was already pretty rough in other people’s eyes. So what constituted as rough?

You laid down on your bed as you were fully clothed and shut your eyes willing for your thoughts to silence and melt away, hoping that sleep would make things a little more bearable for the time being.

The next morning you rolled out of bed at the sound of your alarm going off and slowly sauntered to your bathroom. You washed your face and brushed your teeth but did nothing else. You didn’t care how you looked or how other people saw you. they were already going to be talking about what happened and staring at you so why give a single damn about how they saw you? you made a cup of coffee and slid on flip flops before making your way across campus to your first class.

It was distracting seeing how many people were looking at you. Or were they? You couldn’t really tell and that’s what drove you even more insane. You didn’t know if people’s stares were genuine or if you saw them looking by chance. But the small voice in the back of your head was sure that they were all judging you. so you quickly walked with your head hung low from class to class hoping that the fascination and paranoia would die down.

But sadly all you could do was scan the crowds for Shownu and Hoseok hoping that you wouldn’t by chance see or run into either of them. It was stupid to have the paranoia that you would run into Shownu but you still had the creeping feeling that he was somewhere watching you as you moved around.  

Should you try to transfer schools? Or maybe move to another apartment once the lease is up?

You were happy and enjoyed going to school and being where you were, but with the overwhelming anxiety that someone was constantly looking at you over your shoulder you couldn’t get comfortable like you were once before. And things could never go back to how they once were.

You got to your final class and you picked a desk in the back of the lecture hall. Half of the year was already over and being a transfer student into a new lecture made seating slim pickings. You unpacked your spiral and made yourself comfortable in your desk and tried to keep yourself from making too much noise or sticking out.  The professor entered with a steaming cup of tea and a content look on his face while he mindlessly greeted the class and began to start the lecture.  

You took notes and tried your hardest to focus on what was being said but even as you wrote down note for note on the board and stared at the pictures in the text book your mind was still wondering to everything but the lecture. You let out a soft sigh and put your head down over your arms at your desk. There was no use of trying to learn anything right now. You were about to doze off into sleep when the sounds of the lecture doors being loudly pulled on made you peek up from your arms in shock and anxiety. Whoever was pulling on the doors continued to pull as hard as they could as if they were trying to get in to save their life.

The professor paused the lectu