Namjoo first gasped before he kissed her again. The touch sweet and tender. Heart rendering. She felt her mind spinning. The ground disappearing from under her feet. His warm hand covering hers. Worried now about how to react when he stopped.

And he did.

She was sweating because she was so nervous. Her face was flushed red. Sehun let go of her hand and she released her grip from his now wrinkled shirt. Cursing herself silently. Wondering what she’d just done. What an idiot! She was so embarrassed. Her heart was ramming so hard inside her chest. She couldn’t tell if she was breathing. She couldn’t think straight.

Oh my god, what did he think of her?

No matter how daring she’d been earlier she was a cowering mouse right now. Unable to look him in the eye. Still unable to process that they’d kissed. And it’d been so perfect.

The mere thought had her knees melting. In her head she was wilting into the concrete at her feet.

“Don’t go?” he said.

She blinked. Finally looking up at him. “Huh?”

His eyes twinkled in a way she hadn’t seen before, but more than that he looked…joyful. Her heart started pitter-pattering instantly. If possible, her cheeks grew a shade darker. He was so handsome.

“Tell me not to go.” Sehun said.

Namjoo’s eyes fluttered, as if she wasn’t understanding. He waited while she mentally prepped herself for the obvious truth.

Blinking more rapidly she made herself meet his eyes. “Don’t go.”

He grinned so broadly every individual cell in her body tingled. Sehun suddenly looked so enlightened not a dark thing could touch him. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Blinking once and twice to make sure she hadn’t somehow fainted. Namjoo glanced down when he held out his hand.

“Want to go for a walk?” he asked.

Grinning giddily, she bit her lower lip and nodded. She had never held his hand before, but she had to admit it was just as expected. He had big, strong hands. A gentle touch. His fingers gripped her hand firmly. Like he was protecting her. Making her feel like she was in the safest place in the world. Birds cried out when they strolled across the street to the other side. Blissfully enjoying the silence, the noise of daylight traffic, and horns blasting blocks away. This was their everyday world. Commonly accompanied by busy workers, children, mothers, fathers, and lovers alike. And they were joining that significant crowd.

A few steps later they glanced at each other like timid lovers experiencing their hint of romance for the first time. Sunlight splashed down on them through the gaps of the tree lined road. Ensuring them they were truly on the bright side.

“I think we’ve come too far,” Namjoo spoke up. One glance at each other and they gleefully shared a giggle. Turning around in silent agreement they headed back toward her workplace.

“I’ll go with you.” Sehun said. “To the carnival.”

She glanced at him. More seriously this time. “What about your date?”

“I told her I didn’t want to,” Sehun told. “She’ll get the message if I don’t show.”

For a slight second, she wondered if she should pull her hand out of his grasp. “It’ll be bad for you.”

“I waited,” Sehun confessed, “for you to show some sign.” It was unfair how he made her heart leap. “That was all I needed.”

Her cheeks flashed with color again. She wanted to hide somewhere.

“What about you?” he asked.

Panicked, she blurted, “What…what about me?”

He grinned amused by her reaction. “Are you and Moowon’s dad…you know...”

Namjoo blinked. She hadn’t known he’d been curious. A part of her beamed at his interest. “No.”

His grin grew an inch wider. “Ok. Then…then that’s good.” Repeating again, “That’s good.” She couldn’t tell if he was talking to himself aloud or to her. He still made her heart race.

When they arrived at her workplace Sehun let go of her hand. At her one look he hurriedly explained, “I just…I don’t think…” He hesitated then quietly said, “I don’t think Moowon likes me.”

She frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s just…” he hesitated again. “The way he looks at me. He always asks for you when we talk.” Namjoo continued to stare at him bewildered. “Haven’t you noticed?”

“Moowon’s not like that.” She immediately defended.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I just want to be careful. You understand?”

Namjoo felt hurt he would say that about Moowon. Her son was always kind. He loved people. As she watched Sehun head inside she remembered Daehwi accusing her about having another man. Moowon had said she’d wanted to replace daddy.

Stopping when he realized she wasn’t with him, Sehun turned back to look for her. Picking up her pace she caught up to him and they rode the elevator up together. Letting their hands skim in the solace of the elevator. Stealing glances at each other and shriveling up inside because it felt so nice to be with each other.

“Daddy!” Gunta screamed when he spotted Sehun.

Still clutching the toy Yurim had bought for Moowon, her son stared at her. “We go play?”

“Yes, we’ll go,” she touched his head. Looking at her friend, “Thanks for watching them.”

Raising a brow, she shot a glance at Sehun then back to her. “So, where’d you guys go?” Leaning in more closely to speak quietly, “Thought he had a date.”

Namjoo felt her face flush mad red again. Thinking about the kiss outside. The hand holding. The walk. “N…nothing.”

“Mmmhmmm…” Yurim crossed her arms disbelieving. “I leave you two alone, but I want details,” lowering her voice, “about everything.”

Namjoo stared at her friend with a rush of embarrassment. Shooting her a coy smile Yurim turned to hug Moowon before leaving.

“Mommy, I wanna go play.” Moowon tugged her hand.

Forcing her attention back to the present, Namjoo nodded. “Ok. Lets go.”

◊◊◊◊◊

The carnival was bursting with energy and color. The stench of food swirled around them welcomingly. Napkins, scraps of food, and paper littered the ground. Bees dilly-dallied around trash cans for their fill. Moowon and Gunta, both excited by the wild environment could have cared less about their parents. While they played games Namjoo and Sehun briefly locked fingers behind them. Taking the private moment to relish in their new feelings. When Gunta turned around to scream because he’d won or lost, they quickly let go pretending to be in awe of him.

For a while they watched a game show then bought brats and corn dogs. Even sharing cotton candy together. Wiping small dirty fingers with a hoard of napkins and sighing because the kids smeared ketchup on their clothes. Sometimes during their walk Moowon stayed between her and Sehun. Only leaving her side to play games or go on small child rides with Gunta.

An hour and a half later she was exhausted. Her feet were sore, and she wanted a cool shower to wash off her sweat. Moowon was probably smelly and needed a good bath, too. No doubt their children were worn out as well. Gunta was whining to be carried. Moowon was shuffling his small tired feet. Both kids quiet now.

“Want me to get him, too?” Sehun asked lifting Gunta up.

“What?” she asked then glanced at Moowon. “No, no.”

Despite her answer he still bent down to grab sleepy Moowon. Scooping him into his other arm.

“It’s fine. It’s too much,” Namjoo insisted. The sight of two full size toddlers in his arms was an even more exhausting sight. How was he able to do it?

Without waiting for her Sehun turned to head toward their vehicles. Parked nearby her workplace. And a long ways walk.

“Sehun,” she tried again following him.

“I think they’re asleep,” Sehun interrupted.

Leaning forward to see both boys tiredly leaning against him without uttering a noise, she sighed. He looked so fatherly she gushed.

“Lets start seeing each other,” Sehun started. She glanced at him. He continued, “We can go slowly or whatever you want. We’re kind of old now, so I’m not going to ask you to be my girlfriend.”  

Namjoo couldn’t help but scoff. Delighted when she heard a laugh rumble in his throat. This felt so serene walking alongside him. Soaking the fact that he was reliable, even with Moowon. And it touched her somewhere deeply.

“I can take him,” Namjoo offered when her workplace came into view.

“I see your car.” Sehun neverminded her. “You going to unlock it for me?”

Seeing that he was being stubborn Namjoo pressed the remote to open her car. Pulling the back door open she helped him lower Moowon into his booster seat. Reaching in she clicked the belts in place and turned around to find Sehun still behind her. Surprising her with a quick, unexpected peck. Leaving her gasping for air when he withdrew.

“Get home safe,” he said. “I’ll call you.”

“It’s fine. You’re tired,” she said even though she looked forward to it. Sehun calling her. Talking for hours on end. Falling asleep with his voice in her ear.

“I’ll call you,” he said again.

Growing shy, Namjoo nodded.

She jumped into the shower that evening with bubbles bursting through her. Moowon was deep asleep in his bedroom, so if she wanted, she could talk all night. Giggling and rolling across her bed.

An hour she lay in bed with still no phone call. Refusing to let her heart sink even as disappointment flanked her right and left. If Sehun said he’d call, he would. She believed him. Hadn’t he looked so over the clouds today? Smiling so very jubilantly? He had kissed her. Had rejoiced in their new relationship.

So why wasn’t he calling?

◊◊◊◊◊

Happy was a very simple word. It was what Sehun was feeling all the way down to his bones. Pulling up into the parking lot he wished time could fly faster. He wanted to see Namjoo again. He wanted to kiss her again. Her lips had felt so nice. Bringing to life every reason why he still existed. Never thinking he could feel this way again. And she was granting him that privilege.

It was so special.

The further he traveled down the hall the more he recognized the woman standing in front of his door. Not Joomi. Not his mother.

Noh Saemi.

He stopped a few feet away. Every shade of happy emotion he’d just experienced quickly washed away. Adjusting Gunta in his arm he forced himself forward.

Noticing him Saemi excused, “Your mother told me where you live. I thought we were going to talk, so I...”

Pushing his door open he said coldly, “Come in.”

He didn’t wait for her to head in first. Instead, letting her follow him inside. Without explaining himself he entered Gunta’s bedroom. Laid him down and tucked him in. Hoping he wouldn’t wake while Saemi was still here. Also hoping Saemi would just want a few words then leave.

Because he really wanted to call Namjoo. Sink in the frequency of her voice and feel the comfort that she was the exact same.

If only he’d never come home.

Saemi was still standing when he walked out. Appearing out of place. Too awkward. He wondered if her apartment was ten times grander.

“Should I get you something to drink?” he asked.

“No, but…” she slowly slid into the kitchen, “can I sit down?”

He nodded toward the chair without word. He prolonged joining her by getting himself a fresh glass of water. He wasn’t thirsty. He just wanted to draw out the time he had, because he didn’t want her here.

She wasn’t ever supposed to be here.

“Looks like you just came from somewhere,” she began. Looking edgy. Nervous. Strange for a woman who always seemed to hold her head high. Wasn’t she always confident when with him?

“I was at a carnival.” He replied.

“That must’ve been fun,” she comented with some energy in her tone. “Gunta seems to have had a lot of fun.”

It irritated him that she had to mention his son. He didn’t want them to ever get close.

Bringing the small talk to a close he asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I thought,” she squeaked, “we were going to meet. I waited.”

It was then that he noticed she was wearing a vibrant dress. Dolled up for today. Was she wearing expensive perfume? He thought of how pretty Namjoo would look in the shade of lipstick she was wearing.

“You always came to our dates.” Saemi lowered her eyes. Saddened that he’d stood her up. He was a jackass, yes, but he had also said he wasn’t interested.

“I wish I could be sorry,” Sehun said.

“Sehun…” her eyes brimmed with hurt looking up.

Sehun thwarted his gaze elsewhere. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“Is it me? Something you don’t like? I can fix it,” Saemi begged.

“I didn’t think you were the type to lower yourself,” Sehun said.

“Because I like you,” Saemi’s voice trembled. Louder, more confident, “I like you. I really do.”

Sehun blinked. Taken aback by the volume of her confession.

“Why can’t you like me?” Saemi asked. “Is something holding you back? Gunta’s mother?”

He bit down on his teeth at the mention of his wife. Reeled by his determination to turn her down he cruelly spat, “I don’t have an ounce of feeling for you. I never did. I only came out each time because my mother made it an obligation to. I had no choice.”

Her expression shattered. Mouth parted. Eyes widened. Shocked into silence. Then her brows twitched just a little.

“So,” she quietly said, “that’s what it is.”

Pressing his lips together he waited the quiet out. Wondering how she might blow. Whether she might cry in agony. Maybe it might make him feel guilty.

“Sehun,” she looked him straight in the eye, “there’s someone else, isn’t there?”

His turn to be jolted by silence. He stared at her. The only thing he could do.

She would pass it on to his mother. His mother would come for him and Namjoo. He didn’t want to turn her life upside down. And he didn’t want to lose her.

“I understand.” Saemi’s tone softened two notches. “Then, good luck.”

He in a breath when she slid her chair back and closed the door after her.

Moving quietly, he gathered a fresh set of clothes and showered. Standing under the raining faucet. Allowing the steam to build up as the heat poured down over him. Wishing it could wash away his troubles. Only feeling more conflicted the more he sunk into thinking.

He didn’t want Namjoo to know. He didn’t want her to know anything about his complicated life.

What if his emotional baggage was too much for her and she left him?

◊◊◊◊◊

Namjoo jumped when her phone started blaring. Grumbling, she reached around for her phone. Pressing the phone to her ear instinctively. “Yes?” she croaked sleepily.

“Sorry, I fell asleep and forgot to call.” It was Sehun.

Wide awake, Namjoo sat up. The blanket slipped down to her belly. Holding the phone closer to her ear. “Oh…no, it’s ok. Actually, I fell asleep too.”

“Did I wake you?” he asked worried. “Sorry.”

“No, no.” Her heart profusely raced. Brushing her stray hair aside she said, “I didn’t think you’d call.”

“I promised I would.” Sehun beamed from the other end. “Looks like you don’t believe me.”

“No! Of course not!” Namjoo refuted. “So, what’d you do when you got home?”

“Well,” he teased, “I showered. Do you want to hear about it?”

She giggled. “Lets keep this conversation rated-g.”

She laughed upon hearing his giggle. They continued to talk into the wee hours of the night. Disappointed when he said he wouldn’t be able to see her tomorrow, but they could plan something for Sunday.

A date.

With the kids.

***At this point, we have most everything we know about Namjoo's past/background and only a tiny bit of Sehun's. Looks like his story is going to come to light the more they progress into their relationship. Remember Namjoo knows his wife has passed away, but nothing more than that. And Sehun is still not obviously past that from his reaction to Saemi's mention of her. *coughs* May I remind you of the oneshot I wrote. We have deep, unhappy moments to come