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Saturday morning Sehun started preparing early for his date. Not for Saemi. He wanted to look good regardless. Buttoning his shirt up in front of the mirror he thought about dropping Gunta off at Namjoo’s. A twinge of excitement splurged through him at the thought of seeing her only to dissipate at the speed of light.

“We made up.”

“We made up.”

He could still hear her saying it in his head.

Irritated with himself for still letting it hang over his head he tossed his tie on the bed. Forget it. He wasn’t in the mood to go out looking that nice. He was just Gunta’s dad. Namjoo and her ex were in the middle of trying to make up.

Throwing his head back he turned around to yell, “Gunta, are you ready?!”

He’d woken Gunta up late, but instead of getting dressed like Sehun had asked, the boy was rummaging through his toy chest. Running around without pants on. From the bedroom he could hear the little boy talking and singing, entertaining himself. Heaving a sigh Sehun stepped out to find Gunta laying on the floor, without pants, weaving his toy helicopter through the air.

“Put your toys back,” Sehun ordered. “What did I say about cleaning up?”

Hurriedly getting up Gunta looked at him with his usual snarky grin before darting around the couch, away from him. Forced to play chase Sehun ran around the apartment about ten times before catching Gunta who squealed laughing. He was exhausted by the time he reached Gunta’s bedroom. Thinking he’d just call off the date, but if he did that meant no Namjoo, even if he was going to see her for five minutes.

“Give me your arm,” Sehun said slipping the shirt over Gunta’s head and down.

Going over his list of all the supplies he’d tucked into Gunta’s diaper bag he headed out satisfied.

“We go Moowonie?” Gunta asked from the back seat as they drove off.

“Yes,” Sehun said. “You get to play with Moowon today. Are you happy?”

“Happy!” Gunta sing-songed.

Glancing into the rearview mirror Sehun smiled. Namjoo let them up after he buzzed. On the way up, he anxiously smoothed his wardrobe. Wondering if he looked ok. Did he put too much cologne on? Too little? What about his hair? Maybe he should have worn the tie?

He caught Gunta looking up at him with a curious smile. “Daddy doing?”

“I’m not doing anything,” he lied. Then the elevator doors opened. “Come on.”

in a breath he waited for Namjoo to open the door. Eagerness sprouted through him. The thoughts that morning vanished when the door unlocked.

“Hi, Gunta!” Namjoo immediately greeted. Sehun looked at her feeling happiness sizzle and spread from his chest outwards. It was pretty much all he needed for the day.

As Gunta raced in, Namjoo said, “You’re dressed up.”

His face heated up. She noticed. Then he worried if he’d overdone. “D…do I?”

“You must be going somewhere special today,” Namjoo commented.

No, he wanted to say. He wasn’t going anywhere nice. He just wanted to look impressionable even if for five minutes. Again, he could feel his heart plunging. He didn’t want this date. He didn’t want to see Saemi.

Subconsciously, his eyes shot past her. To Moowon who was sitting on the ground at a table where his coloring pads were laid out. The busy child never minding the man at the door. A short second passed and he realized there was no man here. Just Namjoo and her son and now Gunta.

His eyes traveled toward hers. Hesitating because he didn’t want to leave them. Hating how he’d pressed himself into this situation, but if he didn’t go on the date, he had no reason to bring Gunta. Stopping by.

“Is there something else?” Namjoo asked, because he hadn’t moved from where he was standing. At the doorway. Like an idiot asking for permission to go.

He blinked. Wanting to say something else, but instead said, “No.”

“Then uh…enjoy your date,” Namjoo said.

He looked at her again. Full of hesitance, but unable to say anything. Then quickly darting his eyes away in case she saw disappointment.

He really didn’t want to go on this date.

◊◊◊◊◊

She stared at Sehun’s retreating back. He seemed so down. Not like someone who was anxious for his date. If he and Saemi weren’t hitting it off why did they continuously meet? Strange. Sehun should be every bit of an energetic man.

Lowering her eyes, she stepped back inside and closed the door. Saemi was a pretty young thing. Seemed kind, too. A woman who had everything going for her. Not a woman with a kid struggling to make ends meet. Looking at Gunta she wondered if he knew about this woman Sehun was seeing. Did he want this Saemi to be his mom?

Heading into the kitchen she grabbed two small cups and poured apple juice for the kids. Halfway through the task she wondered if Sehun liked this woman at all. Recalling the previous times when he came to drop Gunta off and never appearing thrilled for their date. The way he looked at her silently, as if begging her to say something to stop him. Offer some kind of roadblock.

“Oh ,” she cursed then looked behind her in case the kids heard her swearing. No, they were too absorbed slamming their toys into each other. She’d overfilled a cup. Hurrying to grab a towel to dry up the mess she wheeled around to grasp the sink counter instead.

What the hell was she thinking? How silly of her to think Sehun wouldn’t want this spectacular woman? Who could be everything for Gunta? With a good background she would shine a light on Gunta’s life.

But then she thought of the dim glow in Sehun’s solemn eyes whenever he looked at her. Hesitating before she cut him off telling him to go enjoy his time with this woman. She felt a strange pang ignite in her chest. Noticing the rate of her heart pick up when she thought about him touching her head to comfort her.

No Daehwi but Sehun was there. Coincidentally. Conveniently.

Weird.

Lifting her head up she peered over her shoulder at the kids again. Sinking in the fact that she had given birth to these two boys.

She didn’t understand. What was going on between her and Sehun? And their kids?

◊◊◊◊◊

Staring off toward the corridor Sehun wished he was on his way back to pick Gunta up. Strategizing an excuse to stay for a bit when he did go. He wouldn’t stay too long. He didn’t intend to stretch the hour until dinnertime. That would be weird, make Namjoo uncomfortable. He didn’t want to create a wall between them or any more awkwardness. There was already too much of that it was painful.

What should he say when he went back? Should he ask what she meant by she and Daehwi had made up?

The curiosity was killing him inside. Were they just on good terms or back together?

We made up.

We made up.

We made up.

He couldn’t stand it.

What did that mean?

“Did I say something wrong?” Saemi broke into his thoughts when he crumpled up a piece of napkin.

Realizing, he immediately released it and settled his thoughtless hand on his lap. If she’d been talking, he hadn’t heard a thing.  

“Did you say something?” he asked.

Saemi eyed him before focusing on tearing apart her ribeye steak. “There’s a fundraiser at the coex this weekend. I’d like it if you came.”

“A fundraiser?” he repeated as his mind swirled back to the picnic where he had first invited Namjoo out. Where they had missed each other while looking for each other, and then Moowon went missing.

“Sehun,” Saemi called his attention back and he discovered he hadn’t been listening again.

“Yes, the fundraiser?” he perked up. If he upset Saemi she would tattle to his mother. He worried about that. He honestly didn’t want to deal with the women constantly chiding him. Already there was too much on his mind.

Like his feelings. They just kept hurling off the more he tried to keep them under wraps.

“There will be an art show,” she repeated herself, “and we’ll be auctioning away pieces. If you know anyone who’d be interested, you should invite them.”

A bulb flashed in his head.

“And afterwards, we can have dinner some place nice,” Saemi smiled, but his eyes had trailed off, his brain churning.

They paid. He wanted to leave as soon as possible, but Saemi wanted to take a walk. Sehun followed half-heartedly. While Saemi mulled over the nice weather his eyes wandered over the café they passed. Catching a glimpse of the vintage interior. Imagining he could come back here some day with someone else. Have a cup of coffee while chatting. Or browse through the window shops watching her try on clothes of her interest, let her wow him, and if she liked something he’d buy it for her.

Sehun caught sight of couples enjoying their walks together. Her arm looped through his. Laughing as they passed. Unable to help but turn to take another look at them. Wondering how much they must like each other. Mutually. Willingly. Envy unfolded inside his chest.

He thought again of the demons behind Namjoo’s smile. Of the hugs he wanted to use to comfort her. Was she happy like that with her ex? Could she be happy like that with someone else?

“The cakes are so pretty!” Saemi squealed knocking him out of his thoughts. He swiveled to find her marveling over a display of cupcakes, cakes, and cookies. “Let me buy something for Gunta. I miss him. Why don’t you bring him out next time? I’d like to get to know him.”

Her eyes glowed when she looked at him but Sehun felt nothing. The emotion of refusal came to life so powerfully inside him. He didn’t want Gunta to meet her. He didn’t have any plans to make Saemi any part of his life.

They entered the simplistic shop. Saemi walked right up to the counter as he gazed at the delicacies displayed inside. A variety of strawberries to cherries on top. Chocolate and vanilla frosting. Unique decorations all around. Each slice, each piece possessing a different tale to tell.

“I hope Gunta will like this.” Saemi handed him a box of a slice of cake. “At his age, they all love sweets.”

Sehun stared at the box as Saemi leaned over to peer into his face. “You do allow him to eat sweets, right?”

“He’ll like it,” Sehun said. “Thanks.”

“Something’s been on your mind all day,” Saemi commented when they walked out, headed the way they’d come. “Care to share? I’m a really good listener.”

Locking her hands in front of her with anticipation her eyes never left his face. He clutched onto the handle of the box. Already seeing the way Gunta’s eyes would light up when he saw the cake. Just as quickly his mind wandered off to Moowon and Namjoo.

“It’s nothing,” he lied.

“You’ve been dazed the entire time,” Saemi pressed on. “Work? Are you worried about Gunta? You haven’t left early.” She grinned pleased. He really wished he could leave early, but what would he say to Namjoo when he arrived on her doorstep? He still hadn’t come up with anything to talk to her about when he went to pick Gunta up. Would he really just whisk Gunta away as soon as he arrived? That would be too regretful.

“You’re not interested in someone else, are you?” Saemi asked. His eyes landed on her. His heart picked up, worried. What did she know? What had she sensed?

Breaking into a laugh, Saemi said, “I’m joking. You look so scared. I didn’t think you’d take it so seriously. Besides, I’m sure if there was someone else your mother would know.”

Pressing his lips together he felt relief flush through him when the parking lot came into view. Cutting the conversation short, he said, “Thanks again for the cake. Gunta will enjoy it.”

“You’re welcome.” Saemi prettily smiled and he thought about the way Namjoo smiled. Lips curving, eyes twinkling. Emanating pure happiness.

Sehun looked away from her. Incapable of controlling his mental outbursts. The following second his eyes landed back on Saemi when she touched his hand. Namjoo shot back into his head. Once more he flashed back to their moments. Touching her hair. Comforting her. Knowing Gunta liked her so much. His heart pitter-pattered into his rib cage.

Saemi looked hurt when he withdrew his hand. Gathering herself, she tried smiling. “Sorry, if I made you uncomfortable. I was glad you called, and I had a really good time. I hope next time, all of you will be here with me. Gunta must be waiting for you, so I won’t keep you. Good night, Sehun.”

She was first to depart. He stared after her unable to feel guilty. Getting into his car he stared at the box of cake on the passenger’s seat. On impulse, he pushed the door open and hurried out. Making his way toward the pastry shop.

Doing everything on autopilot he sped back to Namjoo’s with his heart pouncing. Struggling to catch his breath when he waited for her to open the door for him. He still hadn’t come up with anything to talk to her about. Hopefully he’d be able to stay for a bit anyway. Then the door clicked and opened.

Delight seeped through his entire body when Namjoo looked at him. A fuzzy sensation started spreading from the center of his chest as they glanced at each other. Their eyes weaving a silent conversation their hearts had yet to recognize. Only discovering a second too late that Namjoo wasn’t looking at him but the boxes he’d come with.

“What’d you bring?” she asked.

“Daddy?” Gunta called out. His little footsteps drummed against the floorboards as he ran up behind Namjoo.

“I brought some cake,” Sehun answered walking in.

“Cake! Cake!” Gunta screamed exhilarated emphasizing the ‘e’. He remained right on Sehun’s tail as he went into the kitchen.

“You didn’t have to,” Namjoo said. “Moowon, do you want some cake?”

“It’s a treat,” Sehun told withholding the fact that Saemi had bought Gunta’s. “There’s one for you, too.”

Namjoo breathed a laugh when he discreetly peered at her. His lips parted into a secret smile before turning away when she led Moowon over. Helping him onto a chair while he unloaded the sweets.

“Would you look at that?” Namjoo mused, hands on Moowon’s tiny shoulders.

“They’re so pretty, mommy,” Moowon broadly grinned looking up at her to share the joy.

“Yummy, yummy,” Gunta moaned with his hands already covered in frosting. Only a minute had passed, and he’d already managed to slobber cake all over himself. They laughed at the sight as the kids ignored them.

Namjoo only ate a quarter of her cake by the time he got Gunta in for a bath. His cake stained clothes lay in a heap on the floor. Unaware, Gunta splashed around in the tub dunking Moowon’s toys in the water.

“Five minutes, ok?” Sehun said. He had finished scrubbing Gunta clean from head to toe. Conflicted between being embarrassed for his son that he had to use Namjoo’s bathroom to wash and that he had to enter her personal space. Though she didn’t seem to mind, he felt bashful.

Not only Moowon but she bathed here. He could see her simple necessities sitting around. Makeup remover, face wash, toothbrush, body wash, shampoo, her towels, a razor. Recognizing the fact that Namjoo was also a woman and not just a mother made him tense.

“Everything ok in there?” Namjoo poked her head in the open doorway.

“Huh?” he turned around so fast that he heated up neck down when their eyes met. “Oh…yes, yes. It’s fine. We’re done.”

“I got some of Moowon’s clothes. They should fit Gunta,” Namjoo explained setting them beside the sink.

“Thanks,” Sehun said as his eyes swam away from her. When she left, he turned around to chide Gunta, “You should be embarrassed.” But his son only giggled at him as if he had read everything that passed through his dad’s head.

Gunta raced out of the bathroom after Sehun put his clothes on. Namjoo had a bag ready to offer him to store Gunta’s dirty clothes.

“Thanks again,” he said.

“No problem,” she smiled then looked at the boys now gathered in front of the television.

“Um…this weekend,” Sehun began. Namjoo’s eyes landed on him again. Once more his heart began taking flight. “There’s a fundraiser if you’d like to go.”

“With Saemi?” Namjoo asked.

He struggled not to look guilty. “Yes.”

“I don’t want to intrude on your date.”

“It’s not a date,” he hurriedly clarified. “It’s not like that at all. It’s not a date Saturday.”

Again, withholding the fact that Saemi wanted to have dinner afterwards. Things could change he told himself. He might not have to go to dinner with Saemi at all. It might not happen…

Her eyes turned curious then she excused, “I think she wants you there, not me.”

Deplored, he could feel his eyes begging. At this rate, did she believe he was dating Saemi? The realization struck him.

“I’d like you to come,” he interjected. His heart raced. He wanted her to go. It was all he’d thought about when Saemi told him to invite others. “Go with me.”

Their eyes continued locking. Anxiety pulsed through his veins praying he would hear her say yes.

“Mommy,” Moowon called out. Holding up the remote he said, “Help.”

As Namjoo turned to look at her son panic edged into his heart. Fearing she’d say no. Yes, wasn’t too hard was it?

“I’ll be right there,” Namjoo promised. Attention back on him he held his breath as she blinked. “Ok.”

Sehun fought against all odds not to fist pump or break out into a loser of a smile. Anticipation swept him up as Namjoo walked away to help her son change TV stations. Once again, the sun was shining on his side.