“Sehun.” Her eyes wavered from right to left.

Removing his hand, he mustered an apology. “S…sorry.”

Touching her head Namjoo felt her hair before pulling off her hair clip. He watched her comb her fingers through her hair. How the strands caressed her face, slipped down her shoulders like water. He flushed when she looked at him. Bashful Namjoo also peered elsewhere.

“If…if this weekend is inconvenient…” he began.

“No,” Namjoo quickly interjected. “It’s fine. Moowon will need someone to be with. I think Gunta can cheer him up.”

“Ok,” he said. “Then, I guess…have a good day.”

“You, too,” Namjoo hesitantly looked at him before turning to hurry off. As she did, he glanced down at his hand.

◊◊◊◊◊

Slamming the door close Namjoo breathed harder as she leaned back into her seat. This thing Sehun was doing to her…should it even be happening? She didn’t even really know him. He was Gunta’s father.

Gunta…

She had given birth to him for Sehun and his wife.

They had paid her off.

Namjoo rubbed her face. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t right at all.

This was so weird! She was embarrassed. Should she be ashamed?

“Forget it. Forget it,” she muttered to herself. “Just deal with Daehwi first.”

After work she went to pick Moowon up feeling more fidgety than necessary. Getting out of her car slowly she fiddled with her fingers. Glancing around her as she walked up to the doors. Wondering if Sehun would have made it before her. She hoped he wasn’t inside with the kids already. Not sure what to say to him when she saw him.

Yesterday he had came off adorable announcing the obvious. That he was here for Gunta. She had wanted to laugh, but to spare him the embarrassment she hadn’t. Now he was rubbing off on her.

“You’re here early,” Mrs. Lee greeted.

Abruptly turning surprised Namjoo laughed at herself. “Oh…yes. I was worried about Moowon. How was he today?”

“He slept for a bit, but it seems he felt better after lunch,” she shared.

“That’s good. Thank you.” Namjoo smiled then seemed to hesitate.

Noticing, the elder went on, “Gunta’s father isn’t here yet.”

Namjoo felt her face heat up. Shaking her hand furiously, “No…I wasn’t going to…I mean I wasn’t…” what the heck was she doing? Laughing awkwardly, “I’ll go in then.”

The woman smiled encouragingly. Embarrassed Namjoo scurried in to look for her son.

◊◊◊◊◊

Mrs. Lee smiled at him without saying anything when he arrived. Sehun thought she looked mischievous, but decided not to drone over it. The noise of children dilly dallying was a ruckus around him. Through the tiny crowd he spotted Namjoo sitting with the boys on her lap. She was reading a big hardcover children’s book to them.

Sehun stopped a table away as he absorbed the view. Moowon affectionately leaning against his mother while Gunta grinned the happy way he always did. Peeking up at Namjoo as he giggled before looking at the book again. Seeing it made his heart quiver with joy.

From afar they looked like twin boys with their mom. Having a serene time together in the middle of a busy field bursting with activity. To him, Gunta looked at home. So loved.

“Think about Gunta, too. He will need a mother. Someone who will care for him as he grows up. Aren’t you afraid that he’ll feel different when he start going to school? He’ll see other children with their mothers and wonder why he doesn’t have one. You can’t let him grow up like that.”

An ache swirled inside the pit of his stomach. Did Gunta know, he couldn’t help but wonder again, that he didn’t have a mother?

His mind whirled. He thought about Namjoo crying alone. Off the top of his head he couldn’t even count the number of times he had also cried by himself. Too alone. Always feeling like no one would understand the emptiness his wife had left behind.

Never forgetting how she’d apologized instead of telling him she loved him one last time before going. The pain that resided in him like a sleeping dragon, was it like the demon that slept under Namjoo’s smiles?

Sehun felt his heart lurch when Namjoo closed the book down and Gunta whined, “Again! Again! Auntay, read read again! Pwease!”

He listened to Namjoo laugh happiness. Seeing in his head Yanghwa smiling broadly as if the sun would always rise on her side when she lifted Gunta up to show him how their son was smiling for the first time. The image merged when Namjoo turned around spotting him. That half smile hanging off her lips.

She was pretty, too. He could feel the mountain in his heart moving for her. Sehun discovered himself struggling to maintain eye contact. Afraid if he looked harder, stared longer she might see what he’d hidden underneath.

“Your daddy’s here,” Namjoo patted Gunta’s back to urge him off her lap.

The little boy hopped over. Taking his hand, “Daddy, auntay read for me. Pwease tell her to.”

Looking at Gunta reminded him why he lived for tomorrow. This little ray of hope that kept the sun shining in his lonely sphere. Here, there was still someone who needed him.

Touching his small round head, he said, “Tomorrow.”

“Why?” Gunta asked then pouted. Stomping his tiny feet in the process, “Now, now! Tell auntay now!”

“Auntie and Moowon have to go home,” Sehun patiently explained. “Tomorrow you can play with Moowon and auntie will read you a book. I promise I’ll tell her, ok?”

He glanced at Namjoo who was now on her feet with a smile.

“Book? Morrow?” Gunta looked at him then at Namjoo unsurely.

“Yes, tomorrow.” Namjoo confirmed. “We have lots of books you can look at tomorrow.”

“Yay! Yay!” Forgetting about everything at the speed of light, Gunta went on, “My wobot. I wanna show Moowonie.”

“Lets go find that at home,” Sehun said taking his hand. Hesitating before looking at Namjoo. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

◊◊◊◊◊

A couple was currently touring the villa when Namjoo arrived. They owned a handsome silver BMW parked in the driveway with a two-door garage. Ideal for a couple who drove two separate cars, had good jobs. Separated in the mornings to return to each other in the evenings. On the weekends they’d go biking or enjoy simple extracurricular activities like jogging at the park. Then they’d have a romantic dinner at one of those oval tables near the river watching the city lights stream across the river. Telling tales of happy ever afters. Sharing dreams and planning a future together. What a life that was. How in love they may be to lead successful lives.

Namjoo was envious.

She turned away from the villa and stared down the street. Feeling unnecessarily sad. Like she was the only one who had failed at life. No husband. No one to welcome her back home. A woman with a kid straddled to her back. She was alone. Nothing impressionable about her that would have men lining up to woo her.

She was just an unwanted daughter who had ran away to lead a failure of a life. With a guy who had left her for a richer woman and she had raised their son alone. In the end her anger had driven her son’s father away from him. How cruel it was of her to take the only thing her son could have in his life. The love of a father.

What a villain she was. Being pitiful, blaming everyone. Forcing her son into the kind of desolate life she had fared. She may have been unloved by her parents, but at least Daehwi wanted to be in his son’s life.

Shouldn’t that be the greater difference? Shouldn’t that be able to weigh over the pain he had gifted her with a pretty bow on top?

“You’ll be ok?” Yurim worried when she dropped Moowon off earlier.

“We’re just going to talk.” Namjoo assured. “Play a movie for him. It’ll make him feel better. I’ll be back before dinner.”

“Call if you need anything. I mean it, Namjoo,” her friend made her promise before she drove off. And here she was. Another confrontation with Han Daehwi. Moowon’s father. She came with good intentions, so if they got rowdy with each other again she’d force herself to walk away.

The chatter of voices caught her attention. She remained a distance away as Daehwi walked his potential clients out the door. Remaining polite he shook hands, waited for them to leave before he approached her. The glow of the sun was streaking the sky in a pretty hue. Not yet setting but not yet fully up there. Just like their relationship. Not yet over but dangerously hovering over a minefield.

“Hey,” he calmly greeted. He was in navy pants with a button-down she’d never seen him in before. Looking like a real businessman for once. Clean cut and not a speck of mustache on his face. There was even a hint of cologne. It was honestly amazing to see. Daehwi was taking his job seriously. He was being professional.

Maybe he had really changed.

Stunning herself she complimented, “You look nice.”

“Thanks,” he timidly smiled. “We can go inside.”

Namjoo followed him in. The home was empty, but the walls were finished. A neat shade of creamy beige and wide windows waiting for the owner to provide curtains. They went no further than the room they had entered. Leaning against the cool wall Namjoo sunk in the fact that he was really a working man trying to make a difference in someone else’s life. To give a home to a family in hopes they would lead a proper life. To let them dream of a better future.

“Moowon,” Daehwi wondered, “is he ok?” He stood across from her. Cautious of being too close in case he broke their grounds.

“He’s,” she caught herself. She almost lied. Instinctively wanting to keep him away, but that was wrong of her. “He’s upset.”

“I see,” he said remorsefully. “I’m sorry, Namjoo. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“I’m sorry, too.” she apologized quietly. “For being rash. Trying to push your buttons.” The fragile atmosphere nearly cracked from the weight of her heart. There was so much she wanted to say, but then she’d just end up lecturing him for hours. Spiting him.

But no. That wasn’t what she had come for. They’d hurt Moowon. That was their crime. She was the perpetrator. The little boy who came from her, who she loved more than she cherished her life. She couldn’t stand him so wounded.

Yesterday was her fault. Allowing her feelings to get the best of her. Starting the fight with Daehwi. Always starting the fight.

“Moowon’s four. You left me when he was six months. And then we divorced when he was one. For three years I never saw you and now you walk back into our lives expecting me to welcome you back like nothing changed.” Namjoo let the tears fall. Revealing to him what she could never forget. Why she couldn’t forgive him. The things that constantly haunted her. “That’s really cruel of you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you even know when his birthday is?” Namjoo cried, her voice quivered. More than taking her clothes off she felt more revealing the pain in her heart. She had never told anyone. Here for the first time she was telling him, and it felt like her heart was being torn out of her chest.

“Or that because I was so poor, I couldn’t feed him enough.” Regret. So much of it. Blaming herself for never being a good mom. Namjoo cried a little harder. “He’s no bigger than a three-year-old. I couldn’t get him milk. I couldn’t get him diapers. I’m angry at you not only because you cheated on me. You turned your back on us. When you were supposed to help provide for us.”

She could feel herself breaking inside. Becoming nothing. As shards and bits and pieces of her previous years all alone trying to figure out her life with no helping hand flashed before her. Falling into the deepest pits of darkness because the love she had sought so hard for had never been in her hands.

His betrayal was still so raw, because she had really believed in him.

“I loved you,” Namjoo sobbed. “When I needed you most, where were you? What difference does it make that you’re here now? Tell me. What can you do for me that I haven’t already done?”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized. “I’m sorry, Namjoo.”

For some reason it hurt ten times more because he had never said that before. Apologize. Come back to look for her. Disappearing instead like he had never existed in her life. So she cried harder as the backbreaking emotions ravaged her soul. Thinking she still hated him, would still resent him, but when Daehwi hugged her she let him.

◊◊◊◊◊

“How was he?” Namjoo asked when Yurim opened the door.

“Quiet,” Yurim replied observing her puffy eyes.

Namjoo peered into the room behind her where the television was blaring. Stepping in she found her son lying on the couch absorbed in the movie playing. Smiling, she said, “Hi, honey.”

He immediately turned before sliding off his seat and into her arms. Namjoo hugged him hard before withdrawing. his hair, she asked, “Did you have fun with auntie?”

“Yes, but I missed you.” he cutely told.

“I,” she started, “went to see daddy.”

Moowon’s lips trembled at the mention of his dad. “Bad man?”

“Not bad man,” Namjoo comfortingly said affectionately touching his face, “but your daddy really wants to see you. He’s so sorry for what happened. Do you think you want to see him?”

Moowon looked at her uncertainly. His big round eyes searching for an answer. “Daddy…daddy hurt mommy.”

Namjoo’s heart pained for him. “Mommy’s not hurt, Moowon.”

He sniffed and tears threatened to come. She quickly hugged him as he teared up. Her fault she thought for putting herself between son and father. She shouldn’t have become so angry with Daehwi. It took a few minutes for her to calm him down enough that he ended up falling asleep in her arms from exhaustion.

“What’s going on?” Yurim inquired when Namjoo started toward the door.

“It’s…nothing.”

Yurim frowned at her. Giving her a look that said she knew better than being lied to. Giving up, Namjoo explained, “Daehwi and I had a fight. Moowon saw.”

“The bastard!” Yurim cursed.

“We’re fine. It’s fine,” Namjoo assured.

“Like hell! He’s a bastard!” Yurim continued upset.

Figuring it was no use arguing, Namjoo opened the door with Moowon in her arms. Yurim shot her a glance of disapproval when she saw Daehwi outside.

“I said it’s ok,” Namjoo promised. “I’m going now. Thanks for watching him.”

“You’re welcome,” Yurim said. “Tell him to watch it or I’ll be coming for his .”

Namjoo gave her an amused look before turning to head to her car. Daehwi hurried forward anxiously. “Is he sleeping?”

“Yea,” she answered opening the car door. “I don’t think he’s ready yet. Lets wait a few days.”

“Ok,” Daehwi inclined touching Moowon’s head. His eyes glowing with love for the child. “He sure sleeps well.”

“It’s what he does best,” Namjoo said proudly. “Let me get him into his seat then I’ll drop you back home.”

◊◊◊◊◊

Moowon was obediently holding his mom’s hand by the entrance the next morning when Sehun and Gunta approached.

“Moowonie!” Gunta loudly greeted.

Like usual, Moowon looked at him then at his son. Lifting his small hand to wave. Turning away he glanced up at his mother. Namjoo bent down to squeeze him in her arms and kiss him before patting his back to urge him inside.

“Me, too. Me, too! Bye daddy!” Gunta exclaimed looking up at him. Cheerily laughing Sehun hugged him before he darted off to bump into Namjoo who looked down at him surprised. “Me, too. Me, too!” he excitedly said.

Namjoo looked at him confused, partially amused. She patted his head, but Gunta wasn’t satisfied. Hopping from foot to foot he called, “I hug, too! Like Moowonie! Hug, hug!”

Mrs. Lee and Namjoo laughed at his adorable son before she crouched down to give him a hug. Sehun stared at the large smile plastered across her lips and met with her eyes when she glanced his way. There was Mrs. Lee watching them like a proud mother and he felt embarrassed for being caught. She knew he thought. She was seeing through him.

Bidding Namjoo farewell to end their conversation forced her nowhere else, but toward him. Sehun felt his throat constrict for being so obvious.

“Morning,” he greeted. “Moowon looks better this today.”

“He does, huh?” she asked walking with him into the parking lot. “Actually, I met with his dad yesterday. We made up, so hopefully we can start bonding as a family.”

The rest she said was irrelevant as his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.