The Lie of Cookies

This is My Love

◊◊◊◊◊

Impulse.

That was what it was. Impulsiveness.

“Want to go somewhere today, buddy?” Sehun asked when he picked Gunta up from daycare.

“Yes!” he had replied cheerily.

They first stopped at a convenience store for some cookies – gifts of courtesy for Moowon. And then Sehun was off to make his visit.

When he had returned home the other night from his date, his mother had gone on and on about how he should have stayed out longer. Saemi would have appreciated the company. There’s so much out there for a couple to enjoy and on and on, but Sehun hadn’t heard a thing.

Instead, he’d thought about how Saemi had touched his hand. How it had triggered the memory of comforting Namjoo. Thinking she always dropped Moowon off at daycare but suddenly she wasn’t doing it.

He just wanted to see if she was doing all right.

Impulse.

Sehun was partially disappointed when he rang the bell and no one answered. Namjoo would have buzzed him up right away, but no one was there.

“Moowon home?” Gunta looked up at him.

“I don’t think they’re home.” Sehun stepped back. “I guess we come back next time.”

“Why?” Gunta asked.

He opened his mouth to answer again but then the sound of wheels caught his attention. A cab was pulling up. Sehun watched Namjoo climb out with Moowon then reach back in for some bags.

Moowon first noticed him. He simply stared. And then Namjoo turned. Her eyes first landed on him before Gunta started yelling for Moowon.

The world froze for a tad split second as their eyes met.

She was ok. Namjoo didn’t look worn down or sad.

Sehun was relieved but also happy in an inexplicable way.

As they walked over, he wondered what he might say. How could he explain the reason they were there?

Suddenly feeling embarrassed now. He deeply inhaled as her long hair fluttered behind her. She wasn’t wearing a dress or anything feminine like Saemi. Not in tight pants or thick makeup like Joomi. Namjoo appeared very simplistic and comfortable in her business pants and blouse to match. His grip on the convenience store bag tightened.

“Look, look!” Gunta intervened when they neared. Namjoo’s eyes darted toward the bag of cookies Sehun was gripping onto.

Sehun watched her offer his son a sweet smile. Catching the way her lips curved up. She was wearing lipstick.

Coming up with the perfect excuse he said, “Gunta saw cookies he really wanted to give to Moowon. He really wanted to give them to him, so we’re here.”

“That’s so nice of you,” Namjoo grinned rubbing Gunta’s head. Luckily Gunta didn’t know any better and didn’t say he was lying. He just giggled.

“Moowon, we play!” Gunta exclaimed unaware of the real reason they were really there.

Moowon stared up at his mother. The energetic boy Sehun had seen at the daycare was suddenly wary again.

“Do you need help?” Sehun glanced at the grocery bags.

“Oh no, it’s fine. They’re not heavy.” Namjoo declined.

“I can take a bag at least,” Sehun offered reaching for the bags.

Moowon eyed him real hard as he took two from his mom. Sehun smiled at him, but he immediately averted his eyes and clutched onto his mom’s leg, as if to tell him who really possessed her.

“Why don’t you come in for a bit then?” Namjoo asked punching in a code to unlock the doors. “Come on Moowon, Gunta. Careful, the door automatically shuts.”

“Where’s your car?” he wondered on the way up.

“I dropped it off at the auto shop. Changing my tire,” Namjoo explained.

“Something wrong with it?”

“There are nails in the tire,” Namjoo said. “I’m not sure how it happened.”

“Yea, that is pretty dangerous.” he said. He shouldn’t have, but he wondered, “When are you picking up your car?”

They were finally at her door. As Namjoo stepped in she glanced at her watch. “In a bit, but I guess I can go tomorrow.”

“If you need a ride there…”

“No, no,” Namjoo hurriedly cut him off as the bags landed on the kitchen table. “I’ll just get it tomorrow.”

He noticed how she quickly looked at him then away. Unable to hold even two seconds of eye contact. His chest fluttered with uncertainty.

“Mommy,” Moowon interrupted.

“Yes?” Namjoo asked. “Oh, your chocolate.” Rustling through the bags for his chocolate she handed them to him. “Go share with Gunta, ok? I’m going to clean up for a bit.”

He didn’t leave before shooting Sehun a squandering stare. As he scurried off Sehun turned to look at Namjoo wondering if he should ask about her son.

“I…” they both started at the same time, eyes caught surprised. He held his breath. Namjoo blinked quickly and looked away. Again. He wondered why she kept doing it. Sehun observed her again. Verifying that there was no sad person struggling. She looked like she was holding up. No hint of exhaustion or despair. None of the attributes he had seen the other night.

He was glad, but weirdly disappointed.

Gripping onto the back of the kitchen chair she turned to look at him. “The other night…I just want to say sorry. It was embarrassing.”

Quickly blinking again, she turned away coming off shy. Sehun felt his heart heat up and averted his eyes forgetting about Moowon.

Namjoo’s femininely long fingers brushed the side of her face touching her long hair. This time he couldn’t help but watch.

She went on again, “I shouldn’t have let that happen. Again, I’m sorry for letting you see that.” She peeked to see him looking at her. The world fazed out again when their eyes met. Blinking faster, Namjoo half spun away making him flustered.

“It’s ok,” he managed to say.

“A…anyway,” Namjoo changed the topic, “you were going to say something?”

“Huh?” he blanked when her eyes landed on him. Shy now having forgotten what he was going to say he searched the room before realizing he’d forgotten about the cookies. Touching the bag, he pulled them out, “Oh, right. Cookies.” Still flustered, he quickly blinked with a shake of the head. “I mean, the cookies Gunta wanted to give Moowon.”

God, he was embarrassed. What was he even doing?

His chest grew a bit warmer when Namjoo suddenly giggled. He looked at her lost. “What?”

Her cheeks appeared flushed and he wanted to bury himself somewhere. Was she laughing at him? Did she notice Gunta didn’t even care about the cookies?

“I just…” Namjoo looked at him then giggled again. Her eyes turned into crescents as she held a hand up to her lips. “I remembered the cracker.”

It came to him as fast as a flash of lightning. At the beach when he’d eaten that cracker and it fell out of his mouth. He felt his face heat up. More embarrassed than earlier.

“Oh…that…” he awkwardly said but smiled because she looked so happy and it made him feel good.

Calming down, Namjoo exhaled. “Anyway, is that all? Gunta just wanted to bring cookies?”

His mouth prodded open wondering if he should have another excuse. Namjoo spoke before he could. “Do you need me to watch Gunta again?”

The warmth in his chest flittered away. Afflicted, he lied, “If you don’t mind.”

“It’s no problem,” Namjoo said. “By the way, how is she?”

“Huh?” he asked as if he didn’t know what they were talking about anymore.

“Her name is Saemi, right? The pretty girl from that fundraiser thing,” Namjoo reminded. “It’s her, right?”

“It’s her.” he reluctantly answered.

“It must be going well if you’re seeing her again.” Namjoo commented. He wondered if she could sense the disdain in his voice. That he wasn’t interested in Saemi. That he didn’t want to have any more dates with her.

“It’s…” he hesitated in search of an appropriate answer, “all right.”

 Namjoo offered a smile and he wondered why it was perturbing.

“Then,” he started, “since you’re watching Gunta again let me give you a ride to get your car tomorrow. It’s the least I should do.”

◊◊◊◊◊

“Mommy,” Moowon looked up at her. They were sitting in his bed with him sideways in her lap as she read a book to him. She had stopped to yawn midway through.

“Yes?” she glanced down cradling him in her arms just as she used to when he was smaller.

“Do you love daddy?” he asked, his eyes brooding innocence.

Combing her fingers through his hair she hugged him closer. His head settled underneath her chin. “Your daddy and I are just friends.”

“Is that why he doesn’t live with us?” Moowon asked.

“Because mommy and daddy are very different people,” Namjoo simplified.

“Why?”

“Well,” she dragged, “because daddy has his work and mommy has her work. You know daddy is always busy.”

“I want daddy to live with us,” Moowon said. “Gunta has daddy.”

Namjoo blinked and thought about Sehun. Wondered if Gunta ever asked about his mother and how he would answer. She hadn’t thought about it. Hadn’t inquired. Was Sehun honest about it?

“Mommy,” Moowon called her back to attention. “I don’t want you to love anyone else.”

Namjoo laughed and squeezed him. “You silly boy. Mommy only loves you.”

After Moowon fell asleep Namjoo crept out of his room. Laying down in her bed she stared up at the ceiling. With a sigh she rolled onto her side deciding not to trouble herself with her ex.

She opened the very door for him the next morning. “Is he ready?” Daehwi asked.

“Daddy!” Moowon shot past her and into his dad’s arms.

“Hey there!” Daehwi hugely grinned lifting his son up in one go. Moowon held onto him tightly with bright shimmering eyes. Looking at her he asked, “You’re not going to work today?”

“Just drop him off at daycare,” Namjoo said. “I’ll pick him up later.”

“About this weekend,” Daehwi began, “lets have dinner. I’ll reserve a restaurant.”

Namjoo sighed, “No, don’t.”

“Why? We haven’t had a meal as a family,” Daehwi started. “It’s just one meal Namjoo. With me. Can’t you consider it?”

“Just save your money, Daehwi,” Namjoo told. “You said you live on paycheck to paycheck.”

“It doesn’t mean I can’t do anything special for you.”

“Save your money for our son if you care,” Namjoo tried not to yell in front of their son.

“I just want to do something for you, Namjoo.” Daehwi tried.

Ignoring him, Namjoo rubbed Moowon’s head. She didn’t want him witnessing an argument between his parents. “Have fun at daycare, ok? Mommy will pick you up later.”

“Ok,” Moowon nodded and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Daddy, we go.”

Daehwi shot her a glance. “I mean it, Namjoo. You can’t lock me out forever.”

Sternly staring at him she watched them go before closing the door. Heaving a frustrated sigh, she started on the dishes before going through her closet for something to wear. Taking much longer than she expected on her makeup before grabbing her purse and running outside. On the way down, she swore under her breath. She'd forgotten to double check her hair. Digging into her bag she cursed herself again. Somehow always managing to lose the dozen hair ties she kept. Namjoo groaned when she discovered a weird patterned scrunchie.

She just finished pulling her hair back into a low ponytail when Sehun drove up. Through the window she watched him raise his hand up to wave. Automatically waving in return Namjoo suddenly wondered how weird it was. They were waving to each other. Were they even close enough to be friends?

Lowering her hand just as fast when he pulled up Namjoo blinked. Feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. Pulling the door open she slipped into the passenger’s seat.

“Um…thanks again,” Namjoo quietly said pulling the seatbelt and clicking it in.

“It’s no problem,” Sehun said driving off.

Her eyes coursed through the windows watching the tall buildings. Nervous. Should she start a conversation? What should she say to him? What was there to talk about?

Glancing into the back at the empty child booster seat she asked, “Gunta’s at the daycare?”

“I dropped him off,” he said.

He hadn’t asked, but she explained anyway, “Moowon’s with his father.”

Sehun braked for morning traffic and turned to look at her. Namjoo struggled to keep her eyes trained on the window but failed. Their eyes only held momentarily before he broke off.

“I’ve noticed,” Sehun told. “I saw him at the daycare a few times.”

Namjoo stared down at her purse strangely feeling bad for talking about her ex. It wasn’t what she wanted to talk about with Sehun.

“We’re uh…we’re trying to make things work,” Namjoo forced herself to say. “For Moowon.”

She basked in her own silence then turned to find him observing at her. Awkwardly swiveling away at the same time Namjoo felt a flush of heat in her cheeks. Sehun looked good in blue she thought. Her heart pounded harder when she thought of him comforting her the past weekend. It had felt so nice, yet she also wanted to hurl herself across the ocean because she was embarrassed about crying in front of him.

“That’s good,” Sehun said. Namjoo glanced at him one more time then away feeling weirdly disappointed. Chiding herself for even bringing up Daehwi in the first place.

◊◊◊◊◊

Sehun stole another glimpse of Namjoo’s neckline as he parked the car in front of the auto shop. Yesterday when he returned home, he had spent the entire evening feeling troubled. Knowing he had been checking Namjoo out. Realizing she was making him feel things he didn’t expect to. And it was weird and at the same time kind of not. Sehun didn’t know how to explain it.

But this morning he was doing the same. She smelled nice and she was wearing lipstick again. Her hair was up and her skin looked soft. He shouldn’t be observing her like this. Namjoo was trying to fix things with her ex. He was just Gunta’s father.

“Um…Namjoo,” he called on impulse when she undid the seatbelt. “Can I get your number?”

Her cheeks flushed pink as surprise lit her eyes. Sehun immediately wondered if he was blushing, too because a sudden swarm of heat was penetrating his body.

“I…I…mean…I mean,” he stammered to correct himself, “just if, if anything happens with Gunta, it’s just so you can call me.”

His heart was beating like a sledgehammer inside his chest. Goodness, he could hardly breathe.

“Of…of course,” Namjoo stuttered and reached inside for her purse with fidgety movements. Sehun watched feeling like slamming his head into the window.

“Th…thanks,” he said when she handed him her phone. As it came to life he saw a picture of Moowon on her screen.

“S…sorry,” Namjoo anxiously began. “I remember you handed me your card, but I must have lost it.”

“It’s fine,” he replied punching in his phone number and then called himself so he had her in his contacts. Handing her phone back, “Here.”

“Thanks.” Their fingers brushed and his skin tingled.

“Uh…thanks for the lift. I appreciate it,” Namjoo thanked again.

“Any time,” he smiled and watched her climb out of his car. As Namjoo disappeared into the building his eyes flittered down to his phone where her number remained.

◊◊◊◊◊

A smile split her lips when she received an incoming message. “If it’s ok this weekend, I’ll drop Gunta off at noon.”

From Sehun.

Laughing underneath her breath she replied. Amused and strangely gleeful. Somehow Sehun managed to make things awkward yet fun for her.

“What are you laughing at?” Yurim leaned over her shoulder to get a peek at her phone. “Oh? Sehun? Who’s that?”

Flipping her phone over, Namjoo looked at her friend. “No one.”

“Hmm? Really?” her friend teased joining her in the lounge. “I’m sure no one makes you laugh like that.”

“Well, he’s…” she had to think for a sec, “Moowon’s friend’s dad.”

“Oooh, a man?” Yurim raised a brow.

“No!” Namjoo retaliated.

“Then a woman?” Yurim continued to tease.

Namjoo laughed. “No.”

“Then, a man.” Her friend verified.

Her heart was strangely hyped, but Namjoo knew better. Forcing her emotions down under she told, “He has a girlfriend, ok?”

“Sorry,” Yurim apologized.

Elation deflated like a balloon just popped Namjoo stared down at her phone. Self-control she told herself. She wasn’t silly. She wasn’t about to get herself involved with a man to get her heart broken again. Wasn’t Daehwi enough of a lesson?

Yet when she arrived at daycare that afternoon her heart trembled ecstatically when she spotted Sehun at the front entrance. He wasn’t even looking at her but engaged in a conversation with Mrs. Lee. His broad back. Shoulders that looked like they could carry the world. The hand that had touched her.

Sensing her stare, he turned before swiveling around to see her. When he smiled her world spun.


****oooooh boooyyyy xD


 

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minifantasy
I was going to work on the finale but looks like that's going to have to wait to Sunday evening. I'm taking a short getaway. Maybe I can think things through more clearly. But I will definitely have this story finished by Monday, so we can all cry together.

Comments

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Scarkath18 #1
Chapter 39: I really cried after end of this story. It was beautiful and I love all of their moments together. I really like that you left it open for interpretation because the whole story is very complex and it’s understandable why their feelings and experiences led to all of this. I found this story very realistic. Thank you for sharing you work. It was a great read!
QueenofSnow #2
Chapter 39: your stories are very realistic, and u pictured it beautifully :')
sookrysjung
#3
angst is really your forte ???? huhuhu
sookrysjung
#4
Chapter 39: I just finished this story now. woooow took me a loooong time. ugh my heart ??? ready to ready your next story! :> thank you so much for writing!
sookrysjung
#5
Chapter 19: ????? can I flick Namjoo’s forehead every time she says “enjoy your date”????? just date alreadyyyy hahahaa
Seenaa #6
Chapter 39: I'M CRYING SO HARDDDDD OMG ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ really thankful that you make it an open ending i guess this is the perfect realistic ending for them ≥﹏≤

Thank you so much for sharing this story ♡
MissMong24 #7
Chapter 39: I truly enjoy how realistic this story is. Even the ending. They are both two broken people who need some time alone to think and come to terms with their emotion, especially Sehun. Good job dear author! You got yourself a new fan :)
theseamaiden #8
Chapter 39: crying 100x more now than the one-shot version of this. :(

thank you for this wonderful story! looking forward to your next. :D
Sehun_ily #9
Chapter 39: I first read this in the morning, I went to work and still feeling sad...

:’(