◊◊◊◊◊

Daehwi called.

Once.

Namjoo chose not to pick up.

She should have.

Only she didn’t.

These days Namjoo was starting to look at Moowon with more concern. When they returned home after meeting Joomi Moowon threw a fit that lasted three good days. He wanted his dad. Begged to sleep with him because mommy suddenly wasn’t good enough. Crying all evening that he had hit her when she tried taking his clothes off to give him a bath. Angry and frustrated with him she gave up, letting him cry until he fell asleep. All the while still wearing the clothes Daehwi had given him. The next day he wore the same clothes to the daycare telling everyone, again, daddy bought him those clothes.

He retaliated again that night. The same the day after until Namjoo finally managed to strip him of his clothes. He threw his bowl of dinner onto the floor. Namjoo nearly cried.

So she hated Daehwi a little more. For never being there in the first place. For being better than her.

For being the only one her son wanted when she was the one who was always there anyway. Couldn’t Moowon see that?

Namjoo felt pure exhaustion as she waited for Sehun that Thursday. Wishing she could immediately lull her son into a few hours sleep after daycare so she could have some time to herself. To sleep. Or have a beer. To call Daehwi and at him.

Moowon was sitting quietly in front of the television. His temper had toned down and he was suddenly his usual self. Her loving boy. Maybe he knew today was the day Gunta would be over. Namjoo dreaded the end of today. Thursday meant the weekend was only a few days away. She had to do something by Saturday.

Something, like sit down and talk to Daehwi. Calmly. Heart-to-heart.

One of the things they’d never done since he cheated on her. Namjoo hated the thought of it. Breathing the same air as her ex-husband was enough to ignite the fury inside her. The total reality was that even if she blew up at him as she always did, she’d still want him to cross that bridge to her. Her heart felt sick knowing it yet she couldn’t keep him from seeing Moowon.

But he had cheated on her she always reasoned. She was still scarred. The degree of the burn was always immeasurable.

Gripping the phone in her hand she thought about the day she had returned home from a hard day at the convenience store. First thing she’d heard was the desperate crying of her son. Treading further into the house she saw the open bedroom door…

Dropping the phone Namjoo covered her face.

She hated Daehwi.

She hated him!

The chime of the buzzer made her heart jump out of her chest. Jumping to her feet she ran toward the door breathing heavily. Realizing a second too late that it wasn’t the bell.

Gunta arrived with his dad a moment later. Moowon had gotten to his feet, but he remained far behind her while she greeted their visitors. Unlike her calm son, perky Gunta ran up to hug her.

“Hey there,” she welcomed patting his head.

“There’s some extra clothes in the diaper bag,” Sehun explained handing it to her. “You said you’re taking them to the park.”

“There’s a playground nearby,” Namjoo informed.

“Ok.”

They were standing in silence again. Occupied with their own thoughts…and maybe needing to say something else. Dropping Gunta off was starting to become some kind of excuse. And perhaps, Namjoo needed an opinion.

“Mommy,” Moowon called cutting off the silence.

With a slight turn of the head she saw her son staring hard at her. Maybe she was holding up their playtime and he was impatient.

“Then…” Sehun started making her turn away from Moowon.

She quickly interjected, “Enjoy your date.”

Resigning, he replied in a low voice, “Yea.” Touching his son’s back he said, “Be a good boy. I’ll be back soon.”

He looked at her once then she watched him walk away with heavy steps. His back as dreary as her heart felt.

◊◊◊◊◊

“We should go to a child friendly restaurant next time,” Saemi suggested. “I’d like to get closer to Gunta.”

“Perhaps next time,” Sehun said though he didn’t think he’d ever bring his son with him on a date.

“Is he with your parents today?” Saemi wondered taking a bite of her pasta.

“He’s with,” he paused to think then finished, “Moowon and his mother.”

“Moowon?” Saemi repeated confused then her eyes lit up. “The little boy that got lost at the fundraiser. They must be really good friends. You must be friends with his mother, too. Does your mother know?”

“Yes,” he replied then glanced up. “Does she call you often?”

“Your mother?” Saemi asked. “Yes.”

“Do you report to her about everything?” Sehun asked. “I’d prefer you don’t.”

“I don’t like lying to an elder,” Saemi explained. “Plus, I am just being honest. She asks a question, I simply answer.”

“You like to include her in everything you do?”

“More so along the lines of respect,” Saemi corrected. “Didn’t we meet because of her? This is my way of thanking her. She’s your mother. I believe she’s just worrying about you in her own way.”

Sehun merely stared at her. Curious if she knew there was a boundary to the concept of inclusion.

“I think by now she can tell I’m interested in you, including your son. We can definitely think about giving this a chance, don’t you think? But of course, I’m not expecting anything right away. I understand you’d need time.”

“I’ll think about it,” he lied then glanced at his watch. By now he wasn’t interested in her anymore. This was all…out of courtesy to her. “I promised I’d pick Gunta up in an hour. Lets call it a day.”

“If you need to, that’s fine,” Saemi agreed grabbing her purse. Before they parted ways, she said, “I promise not to tell your mother you left early.”

His first impression about Saemi had deviated by the time he got to his car. From being impressionable to ambitious. Almost like his mother in a subtler style. What he said she wouldn’t hear. The women had really caught him in their little web.

◊◊◊◊◊

The kids were up on the playground set again. Chasing each other. Going down the slide. Repeat. So tirelessly she was childishly jealous. She was still debating whether to call Daehwi. Stupid, because it was simply a push of the button.

Namjoo looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps. Sehun waved when Gunta called out to him. Namjoo double checked her watch. It wasn’t even a full hour yet and he was back from his date? Weird, considering the time it would take to get to the restaurant, sit down, have a meal over a chat. Unless they didn’t even eat.

Namjoo said nothing as he joined her on the bench. Commenting, “The playground really is close.”

“It’s a part of the apartment complex,” Namjoo explained.

“Oh, I see.”

They went quiet. Watching the kids laugh, enjoy themselves, and forget their parents were watching.

Now there were two things egging Namjoo. Needing a second opinion about Daehwi and being curious about why he was early. If she was on a date it’d probably take her two hours to return to fetch her kid. Regarding the fact that this was his what – third time on a date with Saemi it should mean they were hitting it off.

“You’re uh…early,” Namjoo started.

“I know.” He glanced down at his hands as if he were holding onto a remnant of his date. Namjoo interpreted his answer as say no more.

Now it was her turn. “About next week…”

“Yes?” Namjoo quickly averted her eyes when he abruptly looked at her. Suddenly abashed, Sehun also looked elsewhere awkwardly. Speaking more calmly he said, “What about next week?”

“Are you free next week?” Their eyes quickly met again except his held more surprise than she anticipated. Flushed, Namjoo corrected hurriedly, “I mean, not that way. I’m not asking you on a date or anything.”

Sehun laughed embarrassed. “Sure, yea, of course.”

Namjoo felt tighten wondering what the hell they were doing. She had things she needed to prioritize. “Would you mind having Moowon over? Watch him for a few hours?” She added quickly, “You did say if I needed some time to do other things that it’d be fine…”

“It’s fine,” Sehun cut her off from rambling. Nodding with a small smile, “I don’t mind.”

Namjoo stared at his smile momentarily then turned when Moowon called for her. She found him standing less than a yard away staring at her. Contrary to their previous days he hurried over to hug her interrupting the conversation.

“What is it?” she worried patting his tiny back as he buried his face into her shirt.

“Wanna go home,” he murmured.

“Ok.” She looked at Sehun. “We should go.”

“We should, too,” he said then turned to call out for Gunta.

“Mommy, carry me,” Moowon touched her hand.

“Ok.” she said. “Piggy back?”

He nodded and she smiled happily. Indulging in his sudden adoration for her. Namjoo let him climb up on the bench and wrap his arms around her neck.

“Me, too! Me, too!” Gunta hopped on his tiny feet when he saw that she was giving his best friend a piggy back.

Namjoo and Sehun glanced at each other. She couldn’t help grinning when he let his son climb onto his back.

“Thanks again for watching them,” Sehun told.

“They’re so cute I can’t say no,” Namjoo replied. “I’ll uh…think of a time and let you know.”

“Whatever works for you,” Sehun affirmed.

They glanced at each other one more time wondering if goodbye needed to be said. Offering a smile, Namjoo said, “Then, take care. Bye Gunta.”

“Bye-bye!” he ecstatically waved as she turned away with Moowon.

“Mommy,” Moowon started when they neared the building.

“Yes?”

“Do you like Gunta’s daddy?”

Namjoo burst into laughter, bewildered. “No, Moowon. We’re…” she had to think because there was no relation, “friends, like you and Gunta.”

“Ok,” he said. “Mommy?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

She smiled before shaking him playfully and listened to him giggle. “Why are you being so cute right now?”

◊◊◊◊◊

“Me! Me! Me!” Gunta screamed when he filled a cup to water the vase of flowers Namjoo had come with the other day.

They’d just showered and Gunta’s hair was still damp. All he needed to do now was put Gunta to bed. Like always, his little boy was too excited to feel sleepy.

“Ok, be careful,” Sehun said handing him the cup of water. Watching as Gunta toddled over to the vase to fill it.

“Did it!” he exclaimed showing Sehun the empty cup by dunking it upside down.

“Good job!” Sehun called as Gunta brought the cup back to him in the kitchen. “That was a good job!”

Wrapping an arm around him he squeezed Gunta gently before lifting him up. Gunta laughed all throughout as Sehun spun around then dunked him onto the couch. Gunta screamed excitedly and hurried up to chase him as he hurried away. Cutely chanting, “Again! Again! Again!”

When he lay in bed that night, he glanced at the portrait of his dead wife. Sighing, he closed his eyes and repeated the same schedule when he woke up the following day.

Gunta and Moowon met up at the very same spot. The parking lot. As they headed toward the daycare he asked, “About next week, have you thought about a time yet?”

“Morning, ok?” Namjoo glanced up at him.

“That works.”

“Is dropping Moowon off ok? Or would Gunta be more comfortable coming to play with him?”

“No, come,” Sehun said. “Drop him off and pick him up when you’re done.”

“Ok.”

They let the kids run off when Mrs. Lee greeted them excitedly. When they were out of earshot, Namjoo turned to him. “I uh…really appreciate it.”

“Of course. I owe it to you.”

When Namjoo dropped Moowon off that weekend he wasn’t so welcoming.

◊◊◊◊◊

Daehwi wasn’t lying when he said he had a job now. Namjoo wasn’t staring at a shack of a home pieced together by cheap metal and wood boards. She was staring at a yellow toned villa! A cute narrow white staircase off to the side led to the second floor. Daehwi was living in what looked like a doll house.

Namjoo blinked. Astounded. Speechless.

Thinking, that bastard.

She almost turned away when the door clicked open and Daehwi hurried out. “Namjoo.”

She fisted her heart ready to throw fists into his chest. He was well-off dammit! Was he living on a sugar mama’s salary or was he living with a woman?! Was he doing illegal activity? How…she didn’t believe he’d be able to afford a home like this. A new job he’d said but Namjoo wanted to laugh at herself.

She withdrew her hand when he made a move to touch her. Looking away, Namjoo blinked feeling betrayed by him for no particular reason.

He sighed, as if reading her mind. “I’m a contractor, ok?”

She looked at him unsure whether to believe him.

He explained matter of factly, “I have an apartment, but I’m living here temporarily. I’m fixing the house and when it’s done, I sell it. It’s good money. And…and yes, I live pay check to pay check. That’s how I got you that few thousand dollars, ok?” Holding his hands up, “I’m not doing anything illegal here.”

Namjoo observed him as if she might be able to see any hint of criminal activity on him. He held his hand out, which she stared at for a long minute.

He sighed again. Dropping his hand by his side he turned, “Come on. I’ll show you around.”

Namjoo peered around the eloquent home. The soft colored walls he had been painting. In the corner sat a pair of stained shoes from his work. Paint rollers sat in a bin by the side. He really wasn’t lying about working here.

“You work alone?” she asked, as if she needed verification there was no other woman.

“Yes,” he answered. “A family will live here, I’ve heard. They have two children.” He held her eyes. “I like this job, Namjoo. I want to keep looking at houses. I want to build us a new home. A place where Moowon can have his own room; fill it up with this boy things and you can have your own walk-in closet. For shoes, you know. You used to love shoes.”

And as he showed her the second floor, a skeleton of the house compared to the first floor. Walls still needed to be put up. Everything was covered in plastic. Chipped particles were splayed across the floorboards. Daehwi explained what he planned to do up here and Namjoo envisioned every second of it, because his words had always had a magic effect on her.

When she departed from him late afternoon, Namjoo felt numb. Thoughts twisted and twirled in her head. Intersecting, crisscrossing. Emotions poured through her as she robotically drove down the street.

Wondering if she was making everything too complicated. If she had negated Daehwi too much. Should stop contradicting everything. Let him cross that bridge to her instead of daring and then shoving him away. Wondering if she had used the excuse that he had cheated on her once too many times. Was she intentionally keeping him from his own son?

Yes. No. She didn’t trust Moowon’s father. Yet maybe she should. Voices warred inside her head. Screaming again he had cheated on her, he had cheated on her, he had cheated on her!

Once a cheater, always a cheater!!

Namjoo wanted to slam her head. Shut the voices out. She wanted to forgive Daehwi one moment and the next she just couldn’t. Then she was losing herself into the abyss. Not knowing what to do, because when he left her, she hadn’t gone back. And she’d had no one. And it felt like Moowon would leave her too. Namjoo felt drunk. Felt herself spinning away before she felt a hand touch her head comfortingly. Before she realized she was crying not alone but in Sehun’s home.

***well, I'm back! I completed my other story so I'm back :D