Byul's POV:

This is not how I expected Wheein to react.

I'm on one knee, holding her hand and holding a ring in the other, but she doesn't look happy at all.

"Don't do this." she sighs as if it's the worst thing I could do right now.

I furrowed my brows in confusion. Sure, this situation that we're in isn't ideal, but I thought she'd be a little bit happier at the very least.

"Don't you want to do this with me?" I asked, the crack in my voice failed me to hide the hurt that I was feeling.

She sighed again, but this time heavier. "Of course, I do."

"But?" I asked, knowing that her statement would entail such.

"But with everything that has happened today, I don't think it's the right time to do this." Wheein replied. And I know that she's right, and I know that we both needed time to process everything that we just found out but I got scared. I can't lose her. I can't lose her too.

Maybe I needed some kind of assurance that we'll make it through together.

Maybe this is selfish of me to even ask her right after she asked for time and space, but I need her. I think I'll go crazy if I'd ever lose her again, and I feel like I'm losing her right now.

"Don't you love me?" I desperately asked, trying my best to get a grip on the ring in my shaking hand.

"Of course I do." she answered immediately. "I do." she repeats herself.

"Then what's so wrong with me asking you to marry me?" I asked because it's not the worst that could happen but she's acting as if it is.

"Because you're acting as if this is the only thing that could save us. Because you're doing this for all the wrong reasons." she replied, and she was looking at me as if I'm supposed to understand what she was trying to say, but I searched her eyes for answers.

"I had this in my pocket for a while now, Wheein." referring to the ring that I was holding. "I've been thinking about this for quite some time. Don't think that I'm only doing this for an easy way out of the situation." I reasoned.

She shakes her head, disagreeing with me. "You're right. Maybe you've thought about it before, but that doesn't matter anymore. What matters to me right now, is that you're asking me that right now. Why? I just asked you for space because everything is overwhelming for me and yet you go down on one knee and make things even harder for me. For us."

"How does that even make things harder for us?" I don't know if her rejection got the best of me, but I couldn't seem to understand what make my proposal so bad for us.

"Byul," Wheein said sternly, "I just found out that my dad was one of the reasons that Yongsun's not here anymore-" 

"- one of the reasons?" I couldn't help but interrupt her. 

She sighed in dismay. "See?" she said as if I just proved her point to her. "You can't even let me finish..." she trailed off, "Why? Because you hate my dad so much because you think he's the only one to blame for your loss."

"Wheein, it doesn't really matter what I think." I paused realizing that we'd talked about this just moments ago, "Are we really going through this again? All evidence points to him. He's the reason Yongsun's not here and that's the cold hard fact."

"Okay!" she burst out. But I know everything is anything but okay. "If you hate him so much then why would you even ask his daughter to marry you?" she asked rhetorically, crossing her arms against her chest.

I was taken aback. I tried so hard not to think of it that way. I tried so hard not to associate Wheein with that man because they're not the same. I love Wheein and nothing's going to change that. Not even the man whose the reason for my wife's death. But hearing her say it, that she's the daughter of that man. It's as if my mind refuses to comprehend that the man I despised so much is the man that Wheein loved so dearly.

"You can't give me an answer, can you?" I heard Wheein ask. Without looking at her, I know that she's disappointed that I couldn't give her one. "Is it finally sinking in, Byul?"

My mind refuses to accept that the man in Wheein's stories is the same man behind Yongsun's accident. There's anger slowly building up in my chest and I'm trying to hold it in and stop it but I don't know how much longer I could take before it forces its way out.

Thoughts of how her daughter gets to live while my wife gets to suffer seemed really unfair to me.

"Tell me the truth." she said as she looked directly at me. "Be honest with me. Would you rather have Yongsun here alive in front of you right now instead of me?"

"That's such an unfair question, Wheein." I replied quickly, shaking my head, and refusing to answer her question.

"I think it's a very valid question, Byul." She replied. "Because when you asked me to marry you, it's all I could think about, knowing the things that I know now." she said, with tears rolling down her eyes.

And I wanted to take a step closer and wipe her tears away and wrap her in a tight hug - I swear, I do-  but my feet refused to move. I couldn't move, as if my whole body was frozen on the spot and my throat went dry. I opened my mouth to at least give her an answer but no sound came out.

I couldn't do or say anything, and I could only watch her shoulder fall down in disappointment and hurt as she continued telling me her raw emotions. "God, Byul. If you asked me to marry you any day before today I would've agreed in a heartbeat." She said with both frustration and sadness lacing her voice. "But I know things now that greatly affect our relationship. Because now I know that my father is the reason you lost your wife, and I know that yes, he was drunk. He was at a friend's party when my mom called him to tell him that I was rushed to the hospital. That much I know. I don't know why he still accepted Yongsun as a passenger, maybe for extra cash for my hospital bills, I don't know. All I know is that he wanted to come as soon as he can to see me, and however Yongsun got into my dad's taxi, I know for sure that he didn't mean to endanger her life-"

She must've seen the look on my face that's why she stopped.

"My father is not a criminal, Byul. He was placed in that position because of me." Wheein insisted. "And I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Wheein."

But my words didn't reach her.

"Believe me, Byul. If it were up to me, I would've preferred it if I died that day instead, and gave Yongsun a second life. Maybe then people wouldn't hate my dad so much. And you wouldn't have experienced the pain that you went through because of your loss."

I can't imagine how Wheein must be feeling right now. I wanted to stop her thoughts because I know how hard it is for her to even think that. When I managed to finally move my body I immediately pulled her close. Every word she said felt like a stab directly to my heart because it manifested that I failed to protect her feelings; I failed to protect her.

"Wheein, I love you. Don't ever say that again. I love you, and I wouldn't change a thing because everything that happened led me to you. I'm sorry for hurting you-" But my words were too late.

"My heart hurts..." I heard her say weakly as I felt her tug the hem of my shirt tightly.

Wheein's POV:

My heart hurts right now.

And I don't know how to begin to explain it.

I don't know how I'll let other people understand.

I can't even understand it myself.

I feel like a paradox.

Because in the same moment that I want Byul to leave me alone, I want to feel her arms around me a little longer.

I want to process what I'm feeling alone, but I didn't want to feel the loneliness, knowing that it could easily eat me alive.

I want Byul to understand me, but I don't quite know what else to say.

I want to seek her help but all I could think of is "Sorry for being such a burden."

I desperately want her to understand exactly what I'm feeling right now, but the pain is too all-consuming and all I could utter was, "My heart hurts."

My heart hurts as I feel so numb.

And I want Byul to stay in my life but all I did was push her away.

"Wheein, stay with me." I heard Byul say, for what felt like the millionth time now. But before I could even decide whether to take a step away or closer to her, I felt my heart beat twice as fast and then slow down all at once before I felt as if my heart crumpled like paper and everything turned black.

My heart hurts.

It was Wheein's last words that night.

The last time Byul ever saw her.

And she wanted to say something, at the very least. But what could she say? Nothing felt right that night.

It felt so selfish for Byul to insist on Wheein staying when it was so clear that she was only bringing her pain.

But she still asked her to.

Because she was afraid that if she didn't say anything back then, then she may never have a chance to, at all.

And being here...in this all so familiar place, with a bouquet in her hand, kneeling in front of a name-plated block of concrete and a never-ending silence surrounding her - never in her life did Byul want to be more wrong.

"You really have a knack for sleeping in graves and making everyone else worry, don't you?" Seulgi remarks, startling Moonbyul a little. "Joohyun, specifically told me to come here and fetch you."

Byul groans, "I'm really not in the mood to listen to Joohyun's nagging, Seul."

"Well, if you didn't sneak out last night like a teenage rebel and told us where you were going like a normal adult, then maybe she'll treat you like one." Seulgi quips.

"I'm sorry." Moonbyul apologizes. "I didn't mean to make you worry. I just remembered how I didn't get to talk to her in her last moments. How I..."

Seulgi could see Byul trying to hold back her tears as she struggles with her words.

"I wasn't there on her last breath. I didn't know if she was scared or -" it felt as if Byul was feeling everything all at once again as if it happened just yesterday.

"She knows that you love her. You made her feel loved for more than a lifetime. Isn't that what matters?" Seulgi countered.

Moonbyul sighed, "Have I really? Was it enough?"

Seulgi places a hand on Byul's shoulders for comfort. "Trust me. She knows that you love her very much. And that you're willing to sacrifice your life for her if you could. That's more than enough."

"But she's not coming back, Byul." Seulgi sat beside Byul as she whispers -as if Byul needed any more reminders.

Byul didn't have the power to argue, instead, she takes a deep breath, "I accepted that a long time ago, Seul. It doesn't mean that I can't miss her every once in a while."

"Just know that she loves you very much. And if she's anything like her cousin Joohyun, I'm pretty sure she'd tell you th