How do you even continue living when the reason you want to live is no longer in the same world you live in?

It's been the question that kept replaying on Moonbyul's mind ever since an accident took the love of her life away from her.

They were so happy.

They dreamed of having a family together.

Her day consists of making sense of why her wife was taken so soon; making sense why she was left living so miserably; revisiting the memories of when they first met until that one fatal day.

She's still mourning even after a year has passed.

She wonders if she'll ever stop.

Or if she'll forever mourn how she might never love anyone like she has loved - like she loves Yongsun.

Seulgi, her best friend, kept telling her that it's very unhealthy to drink the pain away, especially when her system only consists of alcohol. Seulgi thinks it's a suicide, and Moonbyul agrees. What's even the point of living without her Yongsun? She wants to be with her in the afterlife.

And if heaven really is true, then there's no doubt that it's where she'll find her. But Moonbyul is afraid that if she takes away her life right then, she might not be allowed to enter the pearly gates of heaven where Yongsun is.

So she wakes up everyday, existing but not really. She feels like a body without a soul. She feels hollow inside. But she tries to live...for Yongsun.

And so, like every other day, Moonbyul finds a different bar to drown away her sorrow.

Moonbyul's POV:

When I entered the club I went straight to the bar. I didn't want to socialize with anyone. If Seulgi isn't at home to reprimand me I would've stayed in, but tough luck, she's a homebody. She would definitely nag at me for drinking, reminding me that it's almost a year. But does it matter? Whether it's 1, 2 or 10 years; Yongsun wouldn’t be here…not anymore. How does time suppose to make me feel better?

"Byulyi?" the bartender called after I settled in my seat.

I narrowed my eyes, trying to recognize if she was someone I know.

"Hey." I said not knowing what to call her considering I don't know her name.

"I knew it was you." the woman said, as her eyes spelled familiarity. "For a minute I thought you were someone else because you seem...different." She stated, looking directly at me.

But I looked away. I'm not used to people staring at me so bluntly.

Different. That’s one way to put it. I could never be the same.

She tilted her head, studying me. "You don't remember me, do you?" she asks, catching on to my imitation of recognition.

I just smiled. I don't know if I should pretend to know her or not.

"I'm Wheein." She said offering her hand, introducing herself probably for the second time.

I took her hand and shook it. "I'm sorry, I..." I was about to apologize for forgetting about her but she quickly brushed it off.

"No- I'm sorry for expecting you to remember me." she said apologetically. "It was probably months ago - or was it years? But I literally bumped into you while I was jogging, and I apologized and I had the urge to ask you out for coffee and you turned me down." She rambled adorably.

"I did that?" I replied. I smiled bitterly, I was probably too focused on Yongsun to even notice this beautiful girl. If it were any other circumstance I would’ve remembered her. "Because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to resist you if you were as charming then as you are now." I said honestly, maybe I’m a little rusty at flirting. Wait- no I’m definitely not flirting with her.

It's stupid. I feel like I’m cheating on my wife when I don’t even have one anymore.

She smiled, "Said the woman who turned me down by flashing her wedding ring at me." She jabbed playfully. "You didn't even take a second look." She added.

I could only smile. I probably did just that.

Because I was so in love. I loved Yongsun so much. Oh God, I love her so much- I didn't even know it was possible to love someone like that -and that much. So much so, that even just the idea of loving someone felt like a betrayal of my being.

"Which you aren't wearing by the way." She pointed out, pulling me back to our conversation as she stared at my ring finger with a questioning look.

"Oh." I quickly hid my hand in my pocket. "I just forgot to wear it." I reasoned, which is half true.

Something about wearing it while getting drunk just doesn't sit well on me, knowing that she hates drinking. So I purposefully left it at home.

"Oh." She replied leaning on the bar with her chin resting on her hand.

There was silence in the air until she spoke again. "I thought you didn't drink."

I looked up at her to see if it was m