Right Things to Say
A Reason to LiveByul's POV:
I came early to Wheein's hospital room with a new set of flowers and fruits in hand.
When I arrived, Hyejin is sitting on the chair beside Wheein's bed where Wheein sleeps peacefully.
I placed the things I got for Wheein on her bedside, just before Hyejin told me that she'd go out to buy us breakfast. Hyejin told me a short story about how Wheein loathes hospital food, before leaving. And I take a mental note to cook food for her the next time I visit.
I sat beside Wheein as I watched her sleep. I noticed the sunlight that slipped through the curtains so I angled myself in a position that blocked the sunlight from her face. I mused about how comforting it is to see how peaceful she looked like.
I found myself slipping my fingers between her hands.
It's been a month since the last time I was able to hold her hand. And I missed it more than I'm willing to admit.
We've known each other for a few months but it felt like years; we've come a long way from being two strangers. I just really hope we don't end up back to being one.
Especially not now.
Not when I'm ready to accept that I love you.
The silent voice inside my head has stopped screaming about the wrongness of my feelings every time I see you - everytime I feel them.
I hope I wasn't too late.
A few minutes passed, and I was a little surprised when I felt her grip tighten. I figured she was about to wake up.
"Hi." I immediately said when Wheein flutters her eyes open and her still-sleepy eyes fell on me.
"Hi." she greeted back in a hoarse voice. I smiled at how much of a baby she looked like the moment she woke up with her bare face.
"Hyejin just bought breakfast. She'll be back soon." I assured her. She must feel a little uncomfortable considering how our talk ended yesterday. "I'm sorry for coming this early." I apologized. I don't think she's upset, but I don't know if my presence is still welcome.
She shakes her head and smiles ever so softly. "It's nice that your voice is the first thing that I heard today." she says with a smile as the warmth from her eyes spreads across my chest, making my heart melt at the honesty of it all.
When she gained her full consciousness, the first thing she did was look at our intertwined hands. I didn't know if it was appropriate so I felt insecure under her gaze and was about to pull my hand away, but she tightened her grip once again. "Don't...not yet." she says vaguely, but I got the message to stay still.
Silence filled the air for a while, but it was a comfortable silence, and so I didn't feel the need to break it any time soon.
"You came back." she states, I didn't know if it was a bad thing or a good thing; I couldn't tell because she wasn't showing any emotion as she says it while staring at the ceiling. It's as if she's letting it sink into her mind.
"I told you, I will." I stated. But she didn't have to tell me that she couldn't always trust my words.
She nods with a dimpled smile on her face."I'm glad you did."
I contemplated whether to talk to her about yesterday. It would've been a good opportunity to talk to her since it's just the two of us in the room, but she did just wake up, and she hasn't even had her breakfast yet. I didn't want to stress her out so early in the morning.
I'm actually wondering if we could just stay like this. Everything feels so light at the moment, as if we don't have burdens on our backs that are waiting to be addressed.
"I thought a lot about what you said yesterday..." Wheein starts, she obviously had a different idea than what I had in mind, and my heart immediately quickens its pace. "and what I said to you." she adds.
I nod as I patiently wait for what she has to say next.
"I take it back." Wheein states, making me confused.
"Which statement?" I asked.
"Us," she answers, "having to part ways." she adds as she gently her thumb against my knuckles.
"So you're giving me another chance?" I asked with a hopeful smile plastered on my face, but it quickly falls when I saw the look on her face.
She breathes heavily as if preparing herself to let me down, but Hyejin enters the room.
"Hyejin-ah." she smiled, acknowledging Hyejin's presence, as if she wasn't about to break my heart right before Hyejin comes in.
I realized then that our conversation would have to wait.
They weren't able to continue their conversation until dinner time though.
Because after they had their breakfast, the doctor had to run some tests on Wheein. Then, by lunchtime, Wheein's grandmother and mom came. Then, she never really had the guts to bring it up after. Wheein also didn't bring it up, so she guessed she'd have to wait longer for what Wheein had to say.
Byul, however, had the chance to talk to Hyejin.
They were in the hospital hallway as they wait for Wheein to come back from her tests.
"Is Wheein going to be okay?" Byul asks. She didn't want to admit to herself that it really looked like she should be worried about something.
There was a trace of trauma in how Byul said it, that Hyejin wanted so badly to push away. It must've been so hard for Byul to come to a hospital, considering that it's where her wife took her last breath, at least, that's what Hyejin assumed.
"She's going to be fine. She's set to be discharged within this week." Hyejin tries to assure Byul. She's still pissed at the girl for hurting her friend, but she realized that it wasn't the time to antagonize Byul, she actually feels sympathetic more than anything. "She could probably be discharged tomorrow."
"So...we don't have to worry about her heart transplant?" Byul asks carefully. She heard Wheein's doctor talk to Wheein's mother about it earlier.
Hyejin was caught off guard for a moment, but she figured Byul was bound to know about it sooner or later. Wheein's heart stopped right in front of them, of course, she'd know something was wrong. "She had a heart transplant more than a year ago. The doctors have been observing if her body would accept her new heart, and there weren't any complications...until now. But they said that she'll be fine. So let's just hope that's true."
Hyejin knows Wheein wouldn't want Byul to know about it, but she has to, in Hyejin's opinion.
It wasn't Hyejin's intention to make Byul feel guilty, but guilty was an understatement of how Byul was feeling. "I almost killed her..." Byul utters in disbelief.
Hyejin shakes her head violently. "Don't think like that." Hyejin states. "Wheein wouldn't want you to think that she's your responsibility. Whatever happened, it was because she wasn't careful enough." Hyejin knows she wasn't supposed to talk about it with Byu
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