Second Guessing

A Reason to Live
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter

Wheein wanted it to stop.

She wanted to stop the voice in her head telling her that she's always going to be second best.

Here she thought that someone finally saw something in her worth loving; worth staying for. But now she wasn't so sure. Did Byul know all along? She shakes her head, knowing that's not possible. -It is, but Wheein didn't want to recognize it as a possibility.

But she wonders if Byul really loves her, for her. She wonders if Byul only loved her because somehow Byul recognized her heart. Yongsun's heart. She's not so sure she could even call it her own right now. She even wonders if she really loves Byul, or her heart just decided for her. She's so confused as to what she should feel - or what she should think about the whole situation.

Yesterday, after her lunch date with Yonghee, Byul felt awkward when she drove Wheein home. She didn't even stay for a while to have a chat with Hyejin and her parents like she always does. Right before Wheein steps out of the car, Byul told her that she loves her, as if she's convincing Wheein, as well as herself.

And Wheein didn't know how to feel about that. She's not sure if she could believe it at that moment. She's not so sure if Byul was referring to Wheein as a whole or just her heart. Wheein knows it's unfair to question Byul's love like that -but she can't help it.

Wheein was reminded of the time that Byul flashed her their wedding ring on their first meeting. She recalls how she kept thinking of how lucky she is that she had another chance with Byul. She kept wondering about what changed. She wonders if Byul only noticed her now because her wife wasn't in the picture anymore. She pushed it at the back of her mind because it all felt irrelevant just before yesterday. But right now, those questions are all she could think about.

"Am I your favorite person?" Wheein asks abruptly, surprising herself. She sighs, shaking her head at how ridiculous she sounded. She's not sure whether to be happy that she was alone in her room so Byul didn't hear her stupid question, or she's actually sad that Byul's not there to reassure her.

Wheein laughs humorlessly, taking a second for herself before she types out her question and sends it to Byul. It wasn't the smartest move she made; she knows that. But she reasons that she's allowed to make stupid decisions sometimes, then proceeding to hit the send button.

She could already imagine Byul saying that she's her favorite person right now. Right now being the keyword; because they both know that if Yongsun is still alive right now Wheein wouldn't even be in the choices. There would be no other choice.

She's not even sure she'd like Byul to answer that.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
MMfd518 #1
Chapter 23: Quite an emotional ending. The other week I was reading about how, infrequently, organ transplant recipients seem to take on traits of the donor, read through this with that idea in mind.
zetyaffendy #2
Chapter 23: Authornim, it's been a while i've read this in the past year. Thanks for complete it!!
byuliu #3
Chapter 23: When I found your story, I read it all in one night, till ch. 22, and I can hear the crash sound of my heart when its ended with, "...maybe this won't work". I thought really that was the finale like, "we will not getting all in our life", I hold on it.

But then, after awhile, I check my subscription page, and your story was on top. I remembered the title tho. And like a flashback, I remember all the plot. And I checked, just to make sure its really another chapter, the closure, not only an update from author, and, and I feel soo overwhelming now. I didn't know I am too invest with this story.

I'm not a writer I really don't know how I can write, more to my ramblings, this long. But author-nim, thank you. Thank you for all the emotions you manage to wake inside me. I really really love your writing. Not only the plot, but the emotions in your writing that you put. Ah I don't know what its call, but I really admire your writing style. So, thank you and keep going and have a nice day!
Mo_onbyulidaa #4
Chapter 23: at last!!! thank u for this wonderful piece author-nim they're finally happy.
i really like how u write author-nim, i love how u always give us generous amount of angst but of course with a happy ending
we're always at roller coaster ride with u (i like it)
p_ha_ine #5
Chapter 23: thank you for this. this fic has been one of those i've been reading during my first days of getting to know fanfics (mamamoo's) until eventually writing one for myself. as usual you didnt disappoint. the ending is clear and heartrending.
Keenshipper #6
Chapter 23: Reading this chapter brought me a lot of emotions. It feels like I am at the edge of mountain while reading the next sentences. It catches reader's attention. At first I thought that Wheein is already dead but its not. From that point, my trust issues on you authornim heightens and made me overthink on what's next to come but kudos to you author for giving us a wonderful story and giving us heart attack. This story is so good. Congratulations, author for this well written fic. More to come pleaseeeee.
Mo_onbyulidaa #7
Chapter 22: holy damnnnnn. it's like you're drilling a hole in my heart author-nim! i don't think their relationship really gonna work it's just so painful
tpdlpcrid #8
Chapter 22: Damn this chapter is so sad. Can’t wait to read the final chapter
Keenshipper #9
Chapter 22: My heart clenched just reading this story especially the time I read about Wheein's father and how the accident happened. Wheein and Moonbyul's feelings are valid. They both experienced different kind of pain from their lost loved one. I love the conflict but it hurts like hell. The father of Wheein is one of the reasons why Yongsun died. Fate had been terrible for the two. They were meant to meet but not meant to be together. They can't push aside each others struggle and pain. It will be a never ending conflict to the two of them if they will push through their relationship
mamamooot5 #10
Chapter 22: Aaaaahhhhhhhh MY HEART
Istg if wheebyul doesn’t end up together im gonna throw hands 😭😭😭 I love this story and truthfully like I get both sides. Neither side is wrong for feeling how they feel. The guilt that wheein has is so heavy like I get why she would be uncomfortable and want to break it off despite the fact that she loves her. This story hurts. Even if they part I feel like it will take forever for byul to recover from losing. Not only ONE (not by choice) lover but her SECOND.as well and walking away (their choice). Like how is she gonna find someone else. Like I won’t be surprised if she s traumatized because everyone she loved left her both willingly and unwillingly. Wheein too like ughhhhhh she also deserves so much happiness and peace. I hope that they just take a long long break, byul learns to forgive wheezing father and wheein learns to be okay and at peace with her fathers passing. I hope both heal and come back together. Authornim you can’t just let them part like that PLEASEDE
Back to Top ↑